EmptyInside

Ever heard the expression "felt like time just stopped"?.. The answer is in the question...

Spiritual infolding. Liberation is not a fixed point. Liberationness and Understandingness go together.

Interesting how even when we're aware of ideology traps, we can find ourselves stuck in one or several or many, or not find ourselves and remain stuck obliviously. Politics, especially left-right but any other flavor too. Race. Religion. Orientation. Gender. Divide and conquer. We parrot this phrase. Regurgitating. Blind in most cases to the division that we ourselves are continuously feeding into. Mad props to the sowers of division and discord for the great mask divide. Pure genius if your goal is to find that magic bullet that will send even the most "mindful" and "conscious" down the divide and conquer rabbit hole. Brilliant.

"Logic becomes it's own trap" -Leo I didn't watch the video at first because of the title. Turns out to be one of my absolute favorites.

The simplicity. The profundity.

Fingers, pointing at the moon

@Shin It happens sometimes but good question. @mandyjw That's great advice. I think you're right about that. I did get a text today from my new boss with a start date of June 10th. I think the mini-Limbo phase has been painting my outlook with a little more than a touch of grey. Feels like it's starting to clear. Ready for a new adventure.

Dammit. It comes and it goes but it's back. Many changes are underway right now in my life. I hurled myself into the abyss but so far I haven't discovered it's a feather bed yet. Lol. So Leo's last 2 videos have been very helpful. Life does happen in chapters or phases. Seems one is ending and a new one is beginning. My current job is no longer giving me inspiration. There is no meaning or purpose to be derived there anymore. That video really helped me face the truth. I'm basically on the hamster wheel again and have been deceiving myself by constantly reframing it and telling myself that the pros outweigh the cons. They don't. It has become very monotonous. I have basically become an adult babysitter for people who constantly bicker and complain. It doesn't resemble "recovery" in any way. I had an interview last week with another company and the interview seemed to go well. I got a call back that same day and they verbally offered me the job. Now I have jumped through all of the pre-hire hoops and am just waiting on the offer letter to put in my 2 week notice at my current job. So I'm caught in that "limbo" phase. It's getting harder to connect with people. There is very little depth in any of my circles. It feels shallow. I've been spending quite a bit of time in solitude. I guess I'm in a bit of pessimistic mindset right now. I'm working on that. I've been here before. I'll be here again. Just venting a little bit. Thanks for listening.

@Leo Gura Thanks man. I try to remember that. Seems to be a few days here and a few days there. Feeling better today. @Ar_Senses Thanks for the kind words. I'm truly grateful.

@andyjohnsonman I didn't take notes but I'm watching it again for the second time. It's an incredible video. "What important questions are not being asked in this situation?" and the segment that follows is top notch.

Would be nice.

Lol

@Swagala I feel you. I have been suicidal myself in the past. "Enlightenment" will not solve your problems. Building your "Emotional intelligence" can help but it takes practice. The last sentence of your post is very telling: This is not a criticism because I can totally relate with how you feel. Looking back into my own experience, almost 100% of my suicidal thoughts were related to my being crippled or paralyzed by the opinions of others. I was consumed with fear over what others thought about me. That was one of the root issues for me. That was the main cause of my suicidal thoughts. It took a great deal of self-reflection, emotional labor, and practice to begin to overcome that fear. Practice not giving a fuck about what other people think about you. Not in an arrogant way, but in a "I'm good enough for me and that's good enough" kind of way. That's probably the closest thing to a magic pill you'll find. There's a little more to it than that but that would be a good start. I would also suggest doing some serious self-reflection and looking for thought patterns linked with feelings of guilt, shame, and/or regret. These 3 emotions are toxic to the soul but it takes a great deal of emotional labor to process and work through them. Very few people, "Enlightened" or not, ever develop the ability to do this.

The struggle is real. When I see people stuck in "paralysis by analysis", my first instinct is to feel bad for them. I know what it feels like. It's a trap that I could fall back into at any time. I know they have to go through it to get further along. Still, it's painful to watch if I allow myself to view it through that lens. I saw this quote recently and it hit me right in the soul: "Empathy without boundaries is self destruction." Is it not? I have learned this lesson pretty well at my job. Feeling sorry for people does not help them and it hurts me, and I'm working with many who are stuck in learned helplessness mode. Some aren't, but many are. Others are low functioning on a cognitive level. The irony is that many who are high functioning on a cognitive level are just as stuck, if not more so. And to be honest, not all of those who are low functioning cognitively are what I would consider stuck. Some are blissfully ignorant and maybe that's not such a bad thing. Intellect can be an Achilles heel. I preach simplicity, but am I always practicing what I preach? No. I have a very analytical mind. But I do find that my most peaceful and blissful moments are those when I have simplified my thinking. It's a total paradox because simplifying is an incredibly complex process especially for those of us whose minds love to churn away at infinite possibilities. Pumping the brakes is essential for me. It's a balance. A very delicate balance, but one in which the less I think about it, the easier it flows. So I laugh. Not in a condescending or cruel way, but in a "Wow, that's what I looked like?" kind of way. Arguing and debating. The need to "be right". Thinking I was better, smarter, and more "enlightened" than everyone else. Absolutely certain of my views/beliefs while hurling condescending comments about how open-minded I was and how I had transcended my ego at anyone who disagreed with whatever I said. Lol.

I'm a huge fan of Terence McKenna. I'm sure there are a few others on this forum. Some of his insights were pretty far out there for me but who am I to judge? Many of his insights were deeply profound. I do believe he touched something that very few people have touched. Maybe Leo, maybe a few others, but not many. Was curious to see what some of your favorite TM quotes are. There are so many that I love, but one in particular always gives me chills. It's this one: “Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it's a feather bed.” Anyone else love this quote? If so, what does "the abyss" mean to you? There is an "abyss" in "the hero's journey". I tend to think of it that way or also as "the shadow". But the word "abyss" can mean so many things to so many different people, just wondering what your interpretation is.

@Nahm Right as rain.

@Consilience ❤️ @Truth Addict ❤️

@mandyjw I can understand your perspective. Helpful. Thank you for sharing.

@SaWaSaurus Same here. He was truly gifted in so many ways. One of the things I love most about Terence is that he didn't just preach open-mindedness, he gracefully embodied it. Thank you for sharing the video. I'm listening to it now.

This thread is hilarious. Lmfao