neovox

unless you experience it directly for yourself, it don't mean shit

@Michael569 thank you very much for your HIGHLY valued input. What you say is exactly on point. I've had some labs for Epstein Barr done and the results weren't exactly clear to me. Communication and explanation aren't exactly strong suites of my factory farming style health care providers. ... Epstein Barr Igm antibody- neg.. CMV Igm antibody- neg.. CMV IgG antibody- neg.. Epstein Barr Igg antibody-445.. These labs were done Jan 2021.Which was a couple of months after the initial onset of symptoms. Looking back to 2017 there is a single Epstein Barr- "positive" without any further details. In any case, I'll dig into this. Epstein Barr reactivating seems to match very well. You are good! Thank you again! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I'm experiencing extreme fatigue, swollen lymph nodes in groin, pelvis, armpits, neck, systemic lymphatic fluid congestion which in turn causes nausea, more fatigue, and cystic acne break outs. Not currently, but at times I experience varying degrees of neuropathy in my hands, and loss of sensation in my right leg and foot. This has been happening in episodes that last 4-6 months. The first was in 2017, second 2019, and this is the third which started in November. I have seen doctors, had diagnostics, labs, CT, MRI. They've ruled out all the major auto immune, no diagnosis. The neurologists says its a virus. Labs all look good. I keep going back to the doctor and getting nowhere. I'm exhausted of trying to figure it out. I figured if it keeps progressing eventually they will find something quantifiable they can diagnose.

Its easy to see why the ego gets shit on so muchs. It's the illusion that keeps us from Truth. Its the source of all of our devilry and suffering. It's the part of us that causes all of our conflict and keeps us from God. Whats not to shit on?! We don't discussis the value and necessity of the ego for the VAST majority of us. And I mean like 98-99% majority (vastly varying degrees of ego density). We have it because we require it. Thats not negative, it just is. Our conscious development isn't ready to go egoless. We have to experience and internalize all of the stages of development. instead of trying to dissolve our ego prematurely, we might try accepting it, giving it our non judgmental awareness, keen to its sneaky and selfish nature.. Contemplate its purpose. Its there, I am responsible for keeping it there. Why? What purpose is it serving? Why do I need my illusory sense of self? Why did I develop it in the first place? How did this belief in selff help me develop as a child? As a teenager I really heaped on the narrative, why is that? What would happen if never had it throughout my development? What happens when a child doesn't develop a healthy ego? And so on... Point is instead of wanting ego dissolution prematurely,, understand its there because I put it there because I require it for my development. I'll keep my awareness on it, stay keen to its rascally ways, and fully enjoy the journey of development. The cliche "the journey is the destination" Increase your awareness by investing all of it to the present. .

I spontaneoulsy realized that my chasing "enlightenment" these years was a bit misplaced. Quite a bit. Speaking from my experience only. It was one of those aha moments that struck a deep truth. "Enlightenment" is a word, that represents a concept, differently to different people, but its main idea for me, just off top my head is permanent state of equanimity,, peace, embodiment of indiscriminate Love,, deep mastery of presence, profound awareness, experiential deep understanding of no self and non duality ,, a baseline state of an ever calm, light, and spontaneous, "free fall" demeanor , the deep wisdom that comes from experience and being extremely rarely highly conscious; as well as knowing not knowing, and I could go on and on, but its all just my projections about what I fantasize enlightenment to be. I thought to myself, ten more years and maybe I'll have it. I set a ten year goal and got after it. I did all the work,,meditated all the time,, journaled, self inquiry, massive amounts of books, consumed Leo, other YouTube spiritual content. I went hard for 3 years, and basically immerssed myself in all things spirituality. it was at least an equivalent of what a bachelors degree would be if one existed in spiritual studies., But I was doing it kind of like a college kid. Does his shit. I was focused on getting to the goal and consuming as much content that I missed it. I was doing a lot of doing and no being, butI was feeling good about it at the time my ego was enjoying the spiritual identity, the 'progress" "work" tho.. I was drinking a cup of coffee and it just occurred to me out of nowhere in very profound way that I am going about this all wrong. This whole time , all that work, has been misdirected. Inner dialogue, (I call it God when I feel it like this) "you're working on..? Your Enlightenment? Your imaginary concept of "Enlightenment? You know that's all bullshit. First, your concept is big bullshit and "the larger concept itself is bullshit its just language that was created to describe people that have reached highly evolved rare states. None of it is real or actual, just a concept people have conditioned themselves to believe is one actual state of ultimate desired consciousness that represents "you've made it" which is another bullshit concept. Anyone who claims to be enlightened is most likely NOT enlightened because one with rare high conscious is likely too fulfilled to have a desire for such distinctions and labels. It's IT IS A FUTURE GOALl for the ego mind to pursue. Adding, the motivation of many to becoming an "enlightened" being for themselves, without much of a consideration for how to apply that to benefit all. This whole enlightenment path is a misguided human contract. It may work for some. For you, not so much. This approach is superior and come from a higher place., As we said forget about enlightenment and most everything you thought you learned about it., its become less than productive t. Instead streamline your energy and focus on NOW. The present moment. Extracting as much as you can from the present moment only. Practice experiencing the moment with as much feeling as you can, direct feeling as deeply and profoundly as you're capable. Train yourself slowly by closing your eyes and tasting your food with more awareness and depth than before.. Its the feeling that we're going to go with for. Not the thoughts or emotions thatt are secondary., just the raw sensations. Experience the sensations themselves without attaching opinions. close your eyes and experience a shower with new depth of attention as you wash your body, dry off. Do this with everything possible. Practice this until it becomes second nature. At the beginning especially close your eyes when you're attempting to experience deeply, unless you require sight.. When you eat, chew slowly and taste it more deeply than before. Every time you get a chance to close your eyes and take 1 or 2 very deep breaths focused attention on the feeling of the air entering your nose or lungs, do that often feeling the sensations. you're training to become deeply present as soulful. In each moment. Results will be substantial and fast. Thats it. Much more streamline and made for your personal spiritual aptitudes.. This simple practice is authentic to you and will put you inline with the Infinite Intelligence and Will of God.. An ego that has been properly purified, and sensitive and receptive to God .. Which will entail you dying.. Thats a proper goal.. but lets just focus on being present in the moment.

Fucking amazing! When do we start building!? I'd definitely apply myself to the cause given the opportunity

If you intuit an unconscious harboring of negative or unresolved energy. I would want to bring to the surface and address it, but psychedelics wouldn't be my preferred method. There are smoother ways to go about it.

you're alive and aware, lucky your survival needs are met, lucky your peers prosper, lucky your environment is healthy enough to facilitate prosperity, lucky If you chose to do without the material luxuries in favor of spiritual path, why look to the material world now? As long as your survival needs are met, commit to the spiritual path and look inward for fulfillment. Or don't.. Its never too late to go to college and pursue status and creature comforts. Create as you prefer. You are lucky

its a start

I like this one. Keep it running 24/7 until it becomes "I am the people I encounter" and on and on

Evil doesn't exist in Absolute/ Infinite. It exist from a limited/ finite perspective being threatened. The more you zoom out from that limited perspective, the less evil perceived

Congrats!!! Life truly is so much better sober. You're yourself again!. Feels damn good doesn't it!?. Engage the world as yourself and spread those good vibes. Love and very best wishes

I would guess you're correct in your thinking of past trauma. @Surfingthewave gives sound advice based on experience. Building a regular relationship with a therapist you have good chemistry with . I have had trauma that I had to work through.. My way of making sense and making peace was writing. Something about the act of writing it all out with brutal honesty. All of my emotions would spill out through my hand. Then I would throw it all away immediately. Everyone is unique. The thing with trauma is you've hidden some pain away from yourself and it shows up in other ways; like your stomach. You want to bring out to the light of your awareness and let it be... allow yourself to feel what you've avoidedy.. Crying is the best for healing. Also, I never used it for trauma but I highly recommend getting into breathwork. Its supposed to be very effective for healing trauma, . Leo's video "shamanic breathing" check it out if you haven't already. But the most direct way I know from to process pain is to get yourself crying. . Get.a good ugly cry session. I You will know what to do. Love and very best wishes

It isn't fantasy. I wouldn't say "knowing" is accurate either. translating concepts from experiences into effective communication using symbols and mouth sounds isn't as easy as Leo makes it look. Its all kinds of distorted from Truth.

OK.. Why isn't a car designed with 5 wheels instead of 4? Because the design wouldn't work. Thats your answer. Its design is Infinitely complex perfection. Change anything and its not. Nothing exist in isolation to be changed.

@James123 I like you James

You questioning the Absolute from a relative position. Its Absolute. Its can't be otherwise. Why is this snowflake shaped with this design and not like that snowflake? its a limited mind questioning why an Infinitely Intelligent design isn't designed differently. Because it is Perfect.

I REALLY struggled with SIBO for about two and a half years. SIBO is very tricky and different for each individual. Every time i ate i would get extreme acid reflux from the bacteria in my small intestate (where they don't belong) doing what bacteria do and the gas bi product would go back into my stomach instead of down through the intestinal track and wreak havoc every time I ate. I had ridiculously excessive farts that were unspeakably putrid. The farts were so frequent and pungent that it effected every part of my life. You can't work around people when you're emitting the foulest smell known to man out of your ass every few minutes. You certainly can't sleep with your spouse. You can be around people. I cramped and pooped all throughout the day everyday. The consistency and smell was sick poop. Really nasty stuff. The intensity of pain in some of those episodes of cramps was some of the most intense pain I'd ever experienced. At its worse I would have to lay in the bath tube in the fetal position with the shower running and just poop on myself under the shower. The pain was so intense i was unable hold myself up on the toilet. I felt like I was going to pass out many times during the worst cramps. I would perspire, moan and groan, yell. They weren't always so severe tho. I was desperate for relief and answers. I saw GI specialist that ran endoscopy, colonoscopy, stool samples, labs. They had no diagnostic methods for SIBO. I go to the major university hospital, the most advanced and equipped in my state. I tried to guide them in the SIBO direction but they dismissed it. They had exhausted all of their methods. My health and healing was my responsibility alone. There was nowhere else to go. I researched and tried every antimicrobial herb I could, dozens or more. I tried different diets, low FMAP, vegan, carnivore, juice, and on and on. I tried extreme extended fasts combined with aggressive flushes. I had the most success with supplement called ATRANTIL . I took dailyit for a long time, 6 months maybe more, And ate plenty of green bananas spaced out throught the day towards the end of the treatment. It didn't heal it all at once, but it was much needed relief and the start of my gradual healing. It would improve almost totally and then flare up again in cycle for about another year. Its finally totally healed. No rank farts, my poop is healthy, and no more cramps. I eat a clean mostly plant based diet. About 50-70% of my diet is vegetable. The green bananas were a huge part of the healing process. All the shit I tried and put myself through and something so siimple. Anyways, maybe my SIBO story will be some kind of assistance to someone else suffering. I hope Leo has made progress. As I listened to his story I absolutely felt his pain. My SIBO bro! Love and best wishes

My suggestion is slightly more than a video topic. The Western world has a major deficiency of quality spiritual resources.. Maybe you could go big with it and open a ground breaking, turquoise, spiritual center/school. If it’s not too much to ask.. My gratitude for your work and influence fills my heart.

Fear is easy to bullshit yourself about because its only real while you're experiencing it. If you aren't currently feeling fear you are imagining it, and that's something else. It's easy for me to contemplate fear from a secure position and think I'm fearless. I might conjur an imagined fear of my children suffering and dying. That would be a dreadful experience, but I'm not actually fearful of it at this moment because I know its imagined. It just so happens I am currently experiencing fear. I have health issues and the cause is unknown. I very much relate with Leo on this. The discomfort itself is unpleasant, and the loss of functioning is inconvenient, but neither fearful. I experience fear when I feel my body degrading but have no idea why or how to proceed in a direct treatment. I'm not getting into the details of my health issues rn because it goes back and I'm trying to stay present with my fear. Its the not knowing and the mind creating what if's that is the source of my fear. In my experience I feel my body malfunctioning, pain, reduction of functions, and I feel myself struggling to understand what's going on and what does this mean, why can't they find an answer? how long will I have to endure this? Will this get worse? Will it end up killing me eventually? This is all my mind creating fear. I am trying to ssurrender. Relax my body and accept what is. I am focusing on my breath to ground my mind. I feel the tension and resistense in my body. Trying to let go. I'm remembering mystical experiences in which I realized 'there is never a reason for fear. I am feeling God, but not deeply. My fear is going away. Yeah, so I have a fear of losing my health functioning and a fear of not knowing when it comes to the loss of something I value. I'm just going to sit with it now for awhile.

@Flim I actually don't want anyone to believe me on faith. But you can entertain the thought just for fun. Death is actually incredible for consciousness. Not last experience while in the body and whatever physical pain that entailed. The liberation from form and reunion with Source. Our language is woefully ill equiped to provide a description. Its peace, bliss, beauty, extreme lightness, complete absence of any concept of the slightest concern,. there is no such thing as concern because nothing can go wrong. divine perfection

kinda hard to explain. Really profound trips that I've experienced so much beyond the human experience. I'm not asking anyone to believe me. The fact is all of you also know this, but don't know you know., but it will all come back when consciousness exists its limitation.

Enlightenment refers an extremely advanced conscious state of being. But that's not accurate either because any words or symbols are not capable of conveying being Like Lao Tzu said, its the Tao that you can speak of, its not it... or something like that.. Everyone there interpretation and they vastly vary. But ultimately its just a human mouth sound with various individuals prefered meaning attached. If you really want the answer... pursue some mystical experiences. Then you will have a taste of the true meaning. Otherwise you're going to be limited to human mouth sounds and random definitions

Nothing actually dies, but I think that's common knowledge round these parts. What isn't so common is the peaceful bliss that is experienced upon release of form. The pain the physical body endures leading up to the moment of death is not pleasant obviously,. but the release of consciousness is a divine transfer. Consciousness time physical bodies is the more difficult. unlimited consciousness taking up residence in the experience of a limited physical form.

I have a deep appreciation for dance and the human form in movement. .Its all about the intuitive movements for me. I find body expression more direct, subtle, and honest than verbal. When I am dancing from a flow state I feel completely honest and pure in the transfer of my feeling/being to expression., what you see is directly my experience.. No distortion of mind. Pure art. I intend on starting a dance journal in the journaling section to share my art soon.. Sorry for getting off topic