Farnaby

Hi! A question has been on my mind lately and I would like to know your opinion and experience. Do you feel like self-development practices reinforce the belief and feeling that you're not good enough right now and that you won't be until you become some better version of yourself? If so, does this mean you should stop self-development practices? An example from my life: I have trouble expressing myself freely. I know this is based on past conditioning and trauma stored in my body. How can I work on this without reinforcing the belief that I'm not good enough right now with my trouble expressing myself freely? It seems like anything I do can easily become a trap. If I work on grounding myself and expressing my truth more freely, I attach to that ideal version of myself and and reject myself when I feel unable to live up to that. On the other hand, if I focus on accepting myself as I am right now, I attach to the ideal version of myself that can accept himself completely. I hope I'm making sense lol. Thank you!

Phone calls. For some reason I get really anxious

@Tim R thanks for your answer. I think I have watched that video, but I may have to revisit it lol. So, let's say I tend to feel insecure and I know that's not who I really am when I'm acting that way. How do I work on my confidence without reinforcing the belief that I am not confident yet? Also, how do I stop attaching to that ideal version of myself (confident, and so on) as to not reject myself when I'm not living up to that ideal?

@gettoefl Hi! Could you elaborate on what you mean specifically?

@Synnergy as someone who leans more to the left and was a hardcore leftist years ago, I agree with you. There is clearly a tendency to censor people who have different views on politics, materialism, etc., in this forum. However, in some cases I think it's completely legitimate because of the toxicity and lack of respect of how these views are expressed. IMO, as long as you are being respectful you should be allowed to express your conservative stances, your doubts about the vaccines or your doubts about esoteric ideas for example. Instead, this is often met with condescending answers, threats of being banned, being ridiculed. Not good for healthy discussions. To be fair though, I have personally expressed this a few times and haven't been banned yet. So maybe the people who are getting banned are actually breaking some rules, not only expressing a conservative opinion.

@Leo Gura ? you litteraly said you can't trust proof, but you trust what most scientists are saying about vaccines and Covid (which btw I do too and that's why I'm vaccinated). But your reasoning seems contradictory. If questioning that is thinking like a child I'm happy to think like one ? Sorry @Animo for going off topic. I did that stuff in the videos as a teenager. Maybe telekinesis is possible, but these videos don't prove it. So many other explanations are more likely for what is happening in those videos than psychic abilities.

Wouldn't the same apply to the whole Covid/vaccines controversy? How can we be sure that Covid is so dangerous and vaccines are the better option if proof isn't reliable?

@Waken I've been thinking the same way lately. I do think visiting past memories has healing potential. It gives you a possible explanation of your conditioning and pattern, helps you create a compassionate relationship with yourself and for many people it helps to bring up emotions that apparently can get stuck in the body. But ultimately, I think you're right. It's easy to reinforce the belief that you are somehow broken and need to fix your past if you think you have to find THE root of your trauma. If you find yourself falling into that trap it may be a good idea to ask yourself if you're wasting precious time instead of focusing on what you are actually experiencing in the present moment.

@mandyjw I don't think it has to do with beliefs around money, but more with my scientific background and clinical practice in psychology which makes me doubt her methods of healing. It's dangerous and unethical to work in the way she does with people who may have psychological disorders and may need therapies that are backed up by empirical evidence. But what really throws me off is her vibe, I can't describe it, she seems inauthentic to me and with messiah complex when she speaks of Abraham Hicks vs Esther Hicks. I guess we don't all resonate with the same people.

@Nahm I've tried watching some of her stuff but I always get the same vibe and can't help thinking she's a con artist.

@Purple Man and we got the most beautiful girls in Spain too ?

@Vzdoh hmm this may be true for you, but it seems judgemental to assume a girl who sleeps with someone on the first night doesn't value or treat herself well. I slept with my current girlfriend during our second date and we've been together for almost 6 years.

@Preety_India I mean, the likelihood of dying from Covid if you're young is really really small. It's probably higher in India and third world countries, so I can't speak for the whole world. Abandoning all social interactions comes with its set of dangers as well. I personally socialize trying to stay in open air and try to avoid "high risk" behaviors, although I have indulged in them now and then and I'm fine. Not saying it's a good idea, but anxiety tends to make you overestimate the risks. You can slip in your shower and die. Covid will probably stick around for the rest of our lifes or at least many years. Will you seclude yourself at home for the rest of your life? That will take it's toll on your immune system as well. Btw, I completely respect your choice. I just think it's not the healthiest route and we can find a balance minimizing the risks.

@Dazgwny gotta love those reality checks lol. I used to do that a lot as a teenager and it did work a few times. Another technique that works and I think is called "Wake back to bed" is setting an alarm to wake you up after some hours of sleep, when you are near a REM cycle. You stay up for a while and then you go to sleep again. This should increase the likelihood of experiencing a Lucid Dream. There's another more difficult technique which I never had success with, but people swear it's the most reliable one once you learn it propperly. It's called WILD (wake induced lucid dream).

I mean I had other plans for today, but maybe I can make room for that if you insist ? Just kidding. If you are using condoms there is little to worry about. You can always voice your concerns and ask her if she's willing to do an STD test. Also, like another person said, I would explore if this worry is tied to some deeper insecurities. I used to get triggered (and still do a little) when my previous girlfriends went partying and drinking. Upon exploring it, what I was actually afraid of is that they could be uninhibited and flirt with other guys or cheat on me. Maybe something similar is going on in your case.

@DefinitelyNotARobot most people I know who enjoy meat do so for the taste and probably other pleasant associations (a smell that probably triggers some biological stuff, bbq with friends/family, chewing harder, etc.). I don't know a single person who like eating meat because they like dominating a steak, wtf. This is just projection IMO. There may be biological predisposition to certain foods or it may be entirely conditioned. Either way, there's no food that is more spiritual. That's an ego trip. As to why each person reacts differently, it probably has to do a lot with what we're thinking when faced with meat for example. If you think "that was a living cow, that probably got separated from her baby and brutally slaughtered" you will feel unpleasant emotions. If you're thinking about how you love the smell and sharing a tasty barbecue with your friends, you probably won't feel grossed out. It all depends on the subjective connotation. Objectively, it's just a piece of meat.

@Emerald I see what you mean. Thank you for sharing your experience ? I can't help but think the label itself is a projection of an archetype or a culturally shared notion of what feminine feels lile vs masculine. I personally find the distinction quite useful and am not against thinking in terms of integrating both polarities. But I think it's important not to mistake the label for the raw expression of "energy". This points exactly to what I mean: it's a cultural association. As much as I try, I can't find the objectivity in those words if I inspect my direct experience. I can only find different ways of expressing myself and natural tendencies that I can call masculine/feminine, yin/yang, active/passive but it doesn't mean there is something that is objectively masculine or feminine IMO.

@Emerald what made you label that energy as "feminine" though? I'm curious because I think we all have a personal signature, but labels like "feminine", "masculine" and so on are cultural constructs in my opinion. At the absolute level these labels don't exist right? Energies and things in general just are. Actually there would be no things because talking about "things" means we're trying to create boxes to describe infinity, by focusing on certain aspects of it.

@SLuxy this is usulaly a coping mechanism and I used to experience it a lot and still have phases. You can't think your way out of it. What works for me is not fighting the numbness and allowing yourself to feel subtle emotional changes, such as a wave of anger, sadness, joy. Watching certain movies can be very moving too, as well as playing and cuddling with pets. Try doing something nice for someone even if you don't feel too motivated because that can make you feel alive and joyful. Be mindful of automatic attempts to shut off an emotional wave (contracting your body, rationalizing, trying to understand it intellectualy, eating, videogames, drugs, youtube...) and practice stopping those behaviors and relaxing/surrendering or focusing on your body.

@Person0 sorry to hear that. Sometimes you need to try out different therapies to find a therapist and a modality that helps you. Don't give up. I think the book "Feeling Great" has good tools to start to dig yourself out of depression, but professional help may be necessary because we can't always pull ourselves out without help. Sometimes medication is temporarily necessary as well. With depression it's almost mandatory to get yourself out of your bed and your house and start doing stuff you used to enjoy or that you think could be interesting, even when you don't have the energy or don't want to do it. The reason you need to do this is because when you're depressed the natural tendency is to stop doing things because you don't feel motivated but this ends up fueling the feelings of depression because you miss lots of opportunities to feel more positive emotions. You may also need to work on possible traumatic experiences from your past, unprocessed grief and repressed feelings of anger. In any case, I understand that you may have lost faith in therapy and doctors, but consulting with a professional is the best way to address your personal situation.

@Vzdoh that's a good question, still trying to figure that one out in my own relationship lol. I find the 5 secrets of effective communication by David Burns useful for this. Basically, expressing how you feel clearly, directly and respectfully (an example would be saying "I feel lonely" instead of "when you work so much I feel neglected", because the second one is still a way of blaming), while trying to understand the feelings of your partner and opening the door to finding a way to work it out together.

@samijiben isn't this a preconcieved notion of how an enlightened person should act? I agree that the more conscious you become, the least reactive you tend to be. But maybe being enlightened means accepting your whole nature, also the snapping and not being in full control over your emotions all the time. Should an enlightened person always act calmly, peacefully and lovingly? Or is there also room for aggression? If someone assaults my girlfriend and I use violence to defend her, does that make me less enlightened?

@Vzdoh I sense some resentment that's growing inside of you, because of important needs that you have that you feel are not being met. I would turn the mirror around and communicate your feelings without pushing (not even in subtle ways) him towards a change that you think would make you more happy. The vibe I get is one of lack of unconditional acceptance and of expecting him to change in some way that you predict will make you both more happy. And it's probably true, but when you try to get someone to change it, even if it could be helathy for that person and the relationship, it's a recipe for problems. This is what I'm talking about. My advice is to focus less on what he needs to do, because the underlying message is: "you're not good enough as you are. I need you to change", which will only create more issues.

Hi! I've read some studies yielding promising results in terms of psylocibin being effective to treat migraines. I've also heard anecdotal reports that support this. My girlfriend suffers debilitating migraines weekly (sometimes almost daily) and they can last a few days. She has been prescribed many different medications and most don't do much or slightly alleviate the symptoms for a few hours at best. Sometimes the pain is so debilitating that she takes benzodiazepines so she can at least sleep. Being aware of the toxicity of taking so much medication, she tried microdosing psylocibin truffles twice but didn't notice any improvement. Does anyone have experience with this and can suggest an effective way to try this again? My belief is she may need to give it some time and a few more tries to really see if it works. Any advice on how to at least reduce the frequency and intensity of these migraines would be greatly appreciated. Thank you ?

Thank you! So, in your case, mushrooms increased headaches instead of decreasing them? I guess she'll have to experiment with it and other approaches (accupuncture, exercise, etc.). It would be nice if someone has been able to overcome migraines or has medical knowledge on things that she could try out.