Kenza Benjelloun

I completely agree with you. In fact, last week I deleted my profile and account from Instagram and will not be looking to recover that data or create a new one. These devises are meant to distract us from life itself. Facebook is next. Anything that is competing for my eyeballs will be eliminated before the end of 2023. As I turn 25 I wish to become more here and less out there. What motivated me was a book called Deep Work. I know now that there is no in between. In order to build consciousness one needs to give oneself the opportunity to use full force towards an objective. Self-inquiry is deep work. If there is something else competing for your attention, you're losing will power if only by knowing there is a possibility of checking instagram/facebook "real quick". But that is a choice each has to make for themselves.

@Leo Gura Will you open up to us about your burn out? I bet it's on your list. As a PhD student I understand cause it's so difficult for me to take my science seriously whilst continuing the path towards deconstructing everything that happens around me to be able to guide myself. Actualized.org didn't only save me, it gave me the certainty that I am not the problem in my insanity. Everyone should be insane. Otherwise they're just numbing themselves. When you're completely burned out you feel like you can't lift another finger. Even thinking about work gives pannic attacks. To overcome this, one should compartmenalize at such a high degree... Isolate the mental fatigue from a direct cause. Force oneself to disconnect, to really not care anymore. Drop the burden for real to have any hope of getting back. I've met people who were so clueless as to how to deal with burnout that even during convalescence they hurt themselves even more. Leo, your existence and the fact that you decided to make a gift out of yourself by creating actualized.org, with everything it cost you. I guess there are a lot of people feeling the same way as I do. But man, this work is far more important than any of us combined.

Dear Leo, I am no one. But I feel you. Blessed be your soul. Maybe I'm just a dumb almost 25 year old woman. But I've awakened so much it fucking hurts. I feel you. A couple of months off will not be enough. But I hope you get back to me. To us.

ps. we miss you

Dear Leo, I've never dared post anything because since 2014 I've been following you and growing with you. But on this topic I feel the need to comment. In fact I've recently wrote a scientific article about a topic in ordinal computability, some interesting set-theoretic ideas which seemed so important to me last year when I first started to work on them, and now feel so hollow and unsignificant, to the point where I'm considering stepping away from this domain all together. It's such a painful endeavor to dive deep into this set theory universe where nothing seems to make sense. Sometimes I feel the glimpse of hope like maybe I'm starting to see the logic but really I'm starting to realize that a lot of scientists in this domain don't know shit about what life truly is, or even what mathematics truly is. They write articles as though it was the truth, but in the over-complications I don't see the beauty of life anymore. It's like the poetry of it went full-circle and now all I can see is meaningless symbols and people drunk on their own self-importance. I moved to Italy recently for my PhD in theoretical computer science, and it's hard to find meaning when you feel like you're constantly moving everywhere with no real "home". Your work has been with me for now 9 years to guide me and make me feel understood. Some of your most profound insights ressemble things I saw in my dreams before, I feel connected to you and your universe and your view of the world. Mathematics is a powerful tool to explore certain aspects of the universe but there is no such thing as absolute truth through the subjective lenses of this field _ like any another.