roopepa

"I am the way and the truth and the life."

@SQAAD You're conceptualizing infinity. Rationalization and conceptualization will not do, and cannot hold the truth, because actual is not conceptual (dual). Infinity does not mean that a you will experience everything, including all the worst things. Infinity means freedom and love. There is no boundary, no restriction. You are conceptualizing and thus projecting boundary and restriction onto Life. And feeling the discord, as that one dude would say. Listen to how you're feeling. You are meant to feel good. That's all you have ever wanted. Take a look at your situation. Maybe there is some confusion going on, as you're spending your time watching gore material, preparing for future torture. Is that how you want to feel? Is that the life you want? Is that what life is designed for? Feeling is the language of the soul. Joy, truth, love. These three are interchangeable, and one always leads to the other. It matters not in which order they are placed.

There is a hundred thousand "truths" and "facts" and "studies" and "statistics" and "arguments" and whatever ideas & beliefs you could internalize and believe, that makes you feel like shit about yourself and life. I recommend you not to swallow them. Your wellbeing is most important. Don't let anyone tell you that the best time is at your 20s. Don't let anyone set such anxiety and pressure on you. Fuck Jordan Peterson and his nonsense. You are you and you can do and be and think whatever you want. What comes to the pandemic times, you can still date you know? There's Tinder. Check outside your hometown. People are still going on dates and building relationships. You just gotta readjust to the present situation.

Basically any drug can be used to gain insights and such, because they change your state of mind. Some native american tribes used tobacco as an entheogen. Zen monks might drink matcha. Rastafarians smoke cannabis. Pretty much every culture has some drug they use to change the state of mind, and it often has some sort of spiritual purpose too. There might even be a specific divinity/spirit for a drug. Opium, kawa, khat, coca... The list goes on. All of these can and have been used to gain trance states and such. You know bay leaf, the one you can find in your kitchen? In ancient greece, it was believed to be sacred and incite divine inspiration. Yup, it's a narcotic. But I wouldn't advice anyone to use alcohol as a spiritual tool, as it's addictive and can ruin lives. It's also toxic for the body, as are most of these drugs. And yes, it really is addictive. Don't start looking for justification and reasons to drink alcohol. Don't go down that road. States are just states. What you want is to fill your whole life with clarity and beauty and joy and peace. That can be done without any substances.

@SQAAD Where does the "have to's" and "only thing that makes sense's" come to god & infinity? How could god & infinity be this finite? And how do you get from oneness to a you experiencing torture in the future?

What exactly makes you think you will experience that kind of stuff? I assume you have some sort of philosophy or metaphysical theorizing going on that tells you so? Have you ever thought that you or Leo might be simply confused about some things?

@SQAAD Dude, what's up with you and this gore material? I've seen gore stuff too, I know what it feels like. But you seem to have some difficult feelings about it, something taking you back to the videos and talking about it on the forum. What's up?

Beauty is really important to me. I love beautiful music, beautiful dancing, beautiful stories, beautiful poems, beautiful trees and rivers and mountains.

I would advice you not to take it. Healing doesn't come from the psychedelic. The healing comes from within, from clear intention and will to create a good life. The psychedelic only guides. Like a therapist. When the mind is messy and confused, a psychedelic can surface that suffering and confusion quite brutally. The suicidal ideation probably means that the will and intention for healing and good life is not in stable enough ground yet. I'd go with dreamboard, meditation, cleaning the diet and stuff like that for now. One breath at a time. One better thought at a time. I hope you'll doing better soon.

There are three fundamental illusions on which the egoic mind is "based on". They are the illusion of need, the illusion of failure and the illusion of disunity. Illusion of need = belief that need exists in god/universe/life Illusion of failure = it is possible not to fulfill this need, God's will can be thwarted, you can fail life Illusion of disunity = belief we are separate from each other and life All other misunderstandings and confusions are based on these three. When these illusions are not seen as mere illusions but as reality, suffering follows. I don't claim to know any of this. Just suspecting.

This greentext post made me think about caring how others feel. Many gurus seem to point selfless devotion & service to others as one of the most fundamental component in general wellbeing and spiritual adventure. There might be deep wisdom there.

Meditation is about no path, no goals, no realizations.

A LOT of the suffering in the past few years has been due to me being insecure about my body. I haven't felt my body attractive so I've been looking for that quality somewhere else. Been trying to be intelligent, highly conscious, whatever to make people, especially women, find me interesting. My body doesn't look at all what I think a beautiful male body looks like. Especially my chest. It's all fatty and soft. Weird how this just now came up. I've been pushing it away so that I didn't realize I was insecure. I can remember when I was 11 years old and already making judgements about my body. For some reason I developed this judging mentality quite young. I've always held kind of high standards about my looks and attractiveness. Welp, at least now I realize what I've been pushing away so intensely.

Inspired by it, just not feeling it. ? At least not regarding the body insecurity.

Lol Roads and vehicles are one of the most important means through which propaganda & power is spread across. The autobahn and Volkswagen was quite literally just a propaganda & power scheme. Though they were also good or economy and jobs etc.

@Thewizardking I get what you mean. Same kind of experiences can happen on weed too. And also, this kind of pattern threw me into serious mental health crisis. I spent time in psych ward and had to take antipsychotics. The netflix show seemed to tell me I had to commit suicide. So yeah, it can get pretty horrifying. ? This is conceptualization rather than meditation. This is when you are averting feeling and projecting/running into thought-stories and narratives. I would advice you not to take these substances. If you are looking for wellbeing, insight, joyful living and inspiration, build the foundation with meditation, dreamboard and self-expression. Believe it or not, these are even better than just tripping.

I'm feeling quite good, actually. Probably gonna go for 2 months later today. ? Masturbation doesn't destroy wellbeing. It's the swimming against the flow that does.

Holy shit I've fapped today as many times as you fap in 1,5 months

Wilber's Integral Theory includes Cook-Greuters 9 stages of ego development. You can't compare them in such a way.

What are you gonna do about it? End Islam? Delete Quran? Literally the same as any fundamentalist religion, conformism and stage blue culture ever. Nothing special about Islam. Islam is gonna do what it's doing until the people have had enough.

I wanna hear your thoughts only if you know exactly what I'm talking about here, only if you have direct experience and have navigated through this stuff. If you have not, it might be better for you to not even read this one. I'm having a bit hard time. I feel I know nothing & I'm lost in existence. I don't know if any of the spiritual people or philosophers or anyone knows the truth, or is not 'lost'. And I don't even know if writing this or asking for help can be helpful. I don't get how it's even possible to not know who I am. How could have this happened? Why don't I feel like Home? How is it even possible to be lost in existence? Like, what the fuck? Am I being punished or something? Why is there no clear guidance or navigation to show me what is true and Home? Has God left me? I just want to feel better. I want home.

When there is a lot of confusion, addiction, mental health problems, it might not be over so easily. Weeks and months of psychological torment, psychosis, panic attacks. I spent time in psych ward. Had to take antipsychotics. It's probably true that psychedelics can be very helpful. But you gotta be really smart about it. When you are at your lowest, it's not always the best idea to go for potent healing methods. Even typical psychotherapy is not recommended if the patient is not doing well enough, because the healing process itself can be really hard and requires much energy. A lot of suffering comes up & out. Therapy works best when the patient has the clear intent and enough energy to heal. That intention and clarity for healing itself is where the healing comes. The therapist / psychedelic only guides.

Something interesting about India is that it's a mix of many different religions, ethnicities, cultures, languages etc. So many cultures and religions have collided there. A bit like America. I'd like to visit there some time. The only thing stopping me is that I would probably have a culture shock. And the microbiome is so different that I would be shitting water for a week. ?

Maybe they're actually tears of joy ?

Have you ever had a bad trip? Like actually bad trip? Have you had serious mental illness, addiction, antidepressants? @Endangered-EGO Don't take psychedelics. If you must, do it with someone who actually knows what they're doing. A professional. A psychedelic therapist or something like that.