roopepa

Why don't you jump off a birdge then and show me?

By the way @Nahm the pictures of the Ox-Herding are misplaced on your website. I don't know if you are aware of this. You might want to fix it.

I'm so done too. This is a battle with mountains of bullshit. And there is no reward. But this one will pass. It always does. After a few days, a few months, a few years... A new clarity will be there. The truth is... This is The Game. This is the Ultimate Game. There is no other like this one. I don't know what this leads to. But this is IT. I know it deep inside, and you do too.

@EmptyVase @Nahm Truth/Love/Consciousness/Nothingness is like an ocean. Beliefs and thought-attachments are the same water put into cups. They are isolated from the natural currents of the ocean. The borders of the cups is fear. The friction between the natural currents of the ocean and the isolated water is suffering. Via feeling and consciousness the borders are recognized to have never truly been there. And the water is poured back to the ocean. Now they are part of one infinite whole and it's natural currents.

Make the train a rollercoaster and I'm vomiting and losing my mind at the same time.

I don't really need any guidance. There is really nothing to gain or to learn from anyone. Each time I feel this need to read another book, watch another video or to ask another question from someone I just know that it's just my bullshit. The only thing I want from these sources is really just some easy feel-good relief and new ways to avoid the actual work. I feel the self-deception and unturth and it is making me sick. Dear God. Months and years of avoiding responsibility and the actual work. My bullshit can't bear the pressure for very long anymore. I feel like I'm so close to taking the first true steps. My life and identity is on fire. 95% of all the 'spiritual' shit I've been thinking and talking about has just been mountains of bullshit. I don't know shit about anything. I have just barely been scratching the surface of the actual work. Oh my god. I feel like I just want to vomit.

@Nahm I'll add it to the dreamboard.

Leo refers to this a lot. Would be good to have a deeper look in what it is, what causes it and how it plays in politics.

Good idea. The only problem would be that one dipshit who recognizes that no-one knows if this annual day is actually occuring today.

I don't know. Propably some crazy meta-shit happens and I'm still right here, playing games, only actually not here playing anything for eternity. Maybe we should ask @Leo Gura what he thinks.

Nothing I wrote here contradicts what you said. The point of my post was to remind that one can choose their games.

As of right now, a game of slowly recognizing how much it's about creation and playing imaginary games.

@nuwu You are playing a shit game. No one would consciously choose that. That is the delusion. Not the emotions and connections.

You can ALWAYS stop playing games such as: - Validation - Loneliness - Being right or wrong - Heaven and hell - Reincarnation - 'Soul contracts' - Life being a school or a test - Reptilian overlords - Past and future - Spiral Dynamics - Chakras - Being a human being inhabitating planet Earth - Science - Being a man - Being a woman TRUTH EXISTS BEYOND THE GAMES

Hahaha this is literally so far off from what 'Murica should be about as possible. For fuck's sake, even I learned at school that one of the main 'freedoms' of the US is that of church being separate from government. And I'm not even american.

What if Truth is not some object, a thing outside you can find or attain? I have been struggling with this idea of Truth, not knowing what is true, not knowing if I want it, being afraid of it. But the weirdest thing is that actual Truth seems to be very different. When I accept that I don't know, when I accept that maybe I don't even want it... This is when I feel Truth breathing all around, in every cell of my body. One can not 'seek for' or 'find' or basically be apart of Truth in any way. This is so weird... Always thought that truth is this hidden gem for those who have the bravery, for those 'true seekers'. But it really just seems to be about how much truth one wants, how much one lets it shine. Basically truth is not something one finds, but what one bes.

Hold up

This is so stupid that it is turning my mind inside out. Almost like a koan. Good practice.

Josh Mandel: Freedom OF religion, not freedom from religion. Also Josh Mandel:

I'm no enlightened master but I have some exprience. The duality collapses on "both sides", or actually nothing collapses, because "us" is already one. Everyone is already enlightened and One. What you refer to as "other" is just a mask. The mask itself does not act differently, because that would negate the meaning / function of the mask. Beyond the masks, there is an infinite telepathical orgy party happening. Masks may fight, disagree and even kill each other, but deep inside we are all orgasming inside each other at all times.

I'd like to hear what you guys think of Jed McKenna. I've read the first book of the Enlightenment Trilogy, and the Theory of Everything. He is without a doubt one of the most direct awakening teachers out there. There is this certain clarity and 'crispness' in his books that is really nowhere to be seen with most spiritual teachers. He doesn't seem to talk about Love tho. Why do you think this is? Is he not awake to this 'side' of Absolute Truth, or is he consciously hiding it in case someone misunderstands the teaching? Or is this Love stuff just bullshit? ? He only seems to mention Oneness and Consciousness as absolutes. Somewhere he mentions intelligence too.

If there is Truth, it must be appearing in direct experience. Otherwise, it is not Absolute Truth. What would truth be, if not that what is Here Now? So... Love is bullshit. Oneness is bullshit. Infinity is bullshit. There is none of that Here Now. In direct experience, there is a bunch of abstract "sensory experiences" (shapes, colour, sound), a thought, and perhaps a feeling. Truth is not in some experience yesterday or tomorrow, psychedelic or mystical. Truth is not in some realization or state. Truth is here, and that's it. So what the fuck is this oneness/love/infinity about? Please explain me how there is something that is not here now? What the actual fuck are you talking about? Don't give me that "take a psychedelic" or "you must get to higher consciousness" bullshit. Give me truth right here now.

Okay... I get the idea, yet I feel like something is missing here. How could this fish not recognize something so obvious? How can this water be hiding, if it really is all there is? In what direction exactly should this fish go, to see the water? How could the direction be "meditation" or "psychedelic" (this, not that) if water is One and the fish itself? Get what I mean? This whole thing is melting away! No teaching / pointer can make any sense!

@Leo Gura By the way, I know you don't like us denying Love. I'm really just being curious and trying to figure out something I find valuable. I hope you don't block this at least before some clarity is gained.

@allislove @Nahm I'm not really arguing about anything. I'm just pointing at direct experience right now. There is no oneness, love or infinity appearing here now. And how could anything else than Absolute Fucking Truth be appearing? What does Truth even mean anymore when it is 'given a chance' to not be directly here?? Look. You may say that hours of meditation is required to 'get it'. And that the truth is hiding, or veiled behind the mind. You may say this from your experience. Maybe believe you, given a "your experience" even exists. Maybe I meditate every tomorrow morning. But is this "hours of meditation, truth veiled by the mind" not the thought-story? Are you not selling me Maya? I'm sorry if this makes any of you guys uncomfortable, but I'm really just pointing out at what is. Something just does not sit right with this whole awakening thing people are selling me. All this talk about direct experience, and when it is truly looked at, I get recommended more meditation and something that seems to me like dream-stories.