roopepa

Laughter, and this:

About six years ago, when I was 17, my family and I moved out from my childhood home. At the time, I didn't really think much of it. I was kind of excited about it, it was fun to experience new things. After the move, I started experiencing depression. Some years later, anxiety, some physical illness, eventually even alcohol and cannabis abuse, and all this culminated as my rock bottom, a kind of psychotic episode. All these mental and physical problems I believe are in some way connected. I think something started it all, and it was probably me losing my childhood home. I was unconscious of this for a long time. I think I pushed it away, tried to forget it. But today it became very clear to me how much I miss that house. It's hard to explain how I feel about it. I'm quite sensitive to intuition, emotions and "energy". That house is really important to me, emotionally and energetically speaking. It's the only place I feel like home. I see dreams about it. Very vivid and sometimes lucid dreams. I feel very emotional every time I'm there in my dreams. And I feel weird about the current owners who bought the house from us. I don't feel angry for them, but I feel kind of resentful. In one dream, I even murdered the current resident because he came there while I was throwing a party. I can't picture any other place in the world that would make me feel as home and as centered, secure and peaceful as that place. If I had the money, I would quite literally pay double for it. And there is physically speaking nothing special about that house! It's just a simple, three-bedroom house, nothing crazy. But somehow everything just flows right there. Everything feels right. It's like I can't feel home anywhere else. I feel ungrounded and disconnected. I don't have a home! And I think it made me quite literally sick, mentally and physically. What do you guys think "a home" or "a house" is, fundamentally, energetically/emotionally speaking? What happened to me?

? ? ? It seems like it, until it doesn't.

I'm not. I'm unwiring.

I kinda like you, sir meowski. If you are going to start more threads in the future, you might want to put in a bit more effort, meaning more words, more content. This forum don't like the ones with just a few words or one sentence.

It has never been more clear to me that no conceptualization can touch Life. You could as well be talking about the weather. I don't want to hold ideas and concepts about spirituality or awakening anymore. They feel dirty and heavy on my shoulders. It's not that something is wrong about spiritual teachings. It's just that right now, it seems to me that most of what I've built for myself, seem more like slavery rather than freedom. What I'm expressing here in this thread is a breakthrough moment for me.

By ignoring what implies a need, or conditionality.

This is just a narrative and can be let go. There is really no need for holding it. This too. It implies causality, some kind of a logic or story behind "the dream".

Perhaps So if a thing can be let go, it's obviously not spirituality, or true nature. Instead, maybe something else that is just mistaken as true, or spiritual.

I don't think that's what most are doing at all. I believe most are afraid to let go their neuroticism and unhappiness, because they think there exists a need for holding such patterns.

That wasn't a very good blog post. Feeling is guidance. No thing is more directly available and... Well, felt. In feeling, there is no survival, no ego, no good or bad. In fact, I'm gonna go 180°. Narratives about survival, ego, illusions and biases, is avoidance of feeling, and truth. But you don't have to take my word for it. Just allow feeling and let it guide you. You will see. This is direct. Narratives of survival, bias, ego, is not.

Then why are you talking? Projection.

Wat? No, that's just the political compass chart. Anyways, yeah. Rogan on it again. There has never even been a true liberal left society. That post is just nonsense. And that "weak men" stuff is quite alarming, if you are familiar with neo-fascism. And Kali Yuga is projection. All such religious ideas are really just projection of fear, guilt and shame.

I've come to see that the lucid dream collapses when you go "against it". Meaning, you try to get some specific result. The moment you become lucid, just relax. Feel into your body and don't swim against the current. Let go. You don't need to control it.

You are making a distinction between "something" and "nothing". That distinction cannot have any reality to it whatsoever. What exactly is the distinction of something/nothing "made of"? What is it? Where it is? Is it something, or nothing? If the distinction is something, then by definition "nothing", is something. If the distinction is nothing, then there is no distinction. There is no thing. There isn't something rather than nothing. In This, there is no logic, no function, no distinction, no thing.

How important it is that in basic breathing meditation, your back is not touching a surface? A half-lotus asana feels quite uncomfortable, because my legs are not that flexible, and I can't really relax into the position. A kneeling bench is okay for the legs and back, but it makes breathing not as deep and relaxed. So is it okay just sit in an armchair, breathing an relaxing? Is there an actual reason why people emphasize the importance of back not touching a surface?

"God", "Tao", "Absolute", "Love", "Truth" "Obvious"

Leo was a great introduction. But I'm not really listening to him anymore. Nowadays I'm unwiring what I learned from him, leaving only what serves. Today it's CwG, Abraham Hicks, Nahm, and just intuition and feeling into the moment. And I'm hoping at some point I will unwire most of this nonsense. Getting quite sick of it. Then it's probably just meditation.

So... What about fear then? You mean it has nothing to do with this Truth-Spirituality stuff? That it has no reality, no reason, no function, literally nothing nowhere ever? We think it's something, and something needs do be done about it, when it's really nothing, and nothing needs to be done?

@EntheogenTruthSeeker Why are you looking for enlightenment? Why are you on this forum, watching videos, taking mushrooms? What do you want?

Just stay away from the Romans and you'll be fine jk Not to be a dick, but you are probably not as important as you may think. I mean this in a good way, meaning not important enough to be assasinated.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/18/business/media/new-york-times-project-veritas.html Ah yes, the great defenders of freedom and enemies of cancel culture

@Gesundheit2 What makes you think this 'surviving' is not actually fun for those girls? How do you feel about this sexual potential, survival and social hierarchy - narrative? Have you been having lots of fun lately, or is this survival stuff perhaps made you feel a bit down and unworthy?

People do respond well when you are being authentic and feeling good about yourself and your life. If you think you are awesome, attractive, worthy and good, you will find intimacy. There is no need for these games.

I don't think people should be talking about if he is guilty or not. What should be talked about is what the actual fuck is a teenager boy doing with assault rifles, thinking they are protecting businesses during protests? Think about how insane that is. The entire social system is responsible for these deaths. A 17-year old boy should not be carrying assault rifles. Not even pistols. Of course people are gonna freak out when they see a teenager carrying a death machine during unrest. Look at that image.