noip

You acknowledge that you "used to ghost on people". Is there a chance that you did that this time as well, in a more subtle form? And maybe knowingly so? And maybe most provocative of all, what kind of feelings has ghosting been triggering within you? Is there a chance that it is somehow related to a feeling of pleasure? There question don't necessarily need to be answered here, it's more about contemplating questions than needing to answer them. Those kind of questions are very useful for exploration. To be able to stay with such provocative inquiries without getting triggered (much, because trigger it will). In such a moment, to refrain from feeling accused, victimized or lashing back at someone (or self) is truly a magnificent super-power Remember, you're looking for help to lead you to greater understanding, we're here to help That might mean others asking questions that you may need to think about and not that's not necessarily what you want to hear. And by no means does such questions, posted by some random person, imply they/us knowing anything; the situation, something about him, or you. We know nothing but our own interpretation of limited information that arises out of our own biases. The reason why I stated "I USED TO THINK I HAD NO RESPONSIBILITY" is that I have changed in my ways. I am reformed. To imply that I need to further explore this takes away, FROM ME, the effort I've put into CHANGING WHO I AM. Now if you could just acknowledge that you'd realize how irrelevant that phrase is is to the current matter between me and my friend. YOU ARE STUCK ON ONE SMALL PHRASE, TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT. YES, IT IS AN IRRELEVANT PHRASE IN THE WAY YOU ARE USING IT, which is serving to do nothing for you but shame me. What does this have anything to do with self-exploration? Wtf. Newsflash: If I didn't have these questions, I wouldn't BE HERE. Again, this isn't even relevant BECAUSE I DON"T DO IT ANYMORE. I DIDN'T EVEN GHOST HIM. And if you've paid ANY attention, you'd have been encouraging of my reformation rather than condemning me for something I used to do and DIDN'T DO TO THIS PERSON. Why would this give me feelings of pleasure when I've obviously stopped once I realized it was wrong/not what I wanted? I STRAIGHT UP SAID THAT. What the fuck? You know what, I asked if he was mad or hurt to his face-- Unlike some people I don't just put words in others' mouths and assume things about them, and it turns out he's just busy and dealing with other things in his life to reply back yet. What's more, he thinks it's weird I'd even considered he might be mad-- NOW HE THINKS I'M CLINGY. THANKS, FORUM. HE ISN'T EVEN HURT. WTF. Why do I even come to this forum. Fuck this place. I'm never coming back.

See that's what I mean. Because I clearly said-- Not hurt; it is distressed. Please, just, read.

Hurt and distressed are not the same things; it's almost like you don't even know what you're apologizing for.

You do realize that because of your assumptions, you accused me of doing things I didn't do (e.g. Hurting other people) and that it distressed me. I didn't feel distressed by anyone else in this thread. I don't know why you can't just take responsibility. Maybe you can also work on your English, but reading comprehension is also a part of that.

@Preety_India It'd behoove you to read more carefully before accusing someone of egregious behavior in your definition. Everyone has accused others at some point or another; it happens; that is why it is good to have humility for the sake of growth/progress. That said, ^This is insensitive because I had written: Key words: I used to think Regarding that sentence, it's clear you don't understand why I wrote the response I did to @universe. I would clarify things for you, but teaching is not my forte and I am anyway awkward with this subject (feelings, my own and other people's). I agree with this^. And I think you should work on your reading comprehension.

Ghosting is going "cold turkey." It's where you abruptly leave and never even bother to say bye or why you're leaving to someone. In my first post, So I didn't ghost him; your accusation is unfounded. Now what I didn't add to the first post was that I said we could keep messaging each other, I just wasn't going to be checking my email as often. I don't know if he's hurt or not. That'd just be putting words in his mouth. I feel like you made a lot of assumptions here...

I don't understand what you're saying. Could you expound on both points?

I actually recently watched this TV series on ghosting, here: http://www.mtv.com/shows/ghosted-love-gone-missing. I used to think I didn't have any responsibility to the people I ghosted on, and it was on them to deal with their own feelings. I thought them getting "hung up" or not being able to "move on" was weak and worse than ghosting someone. I've since realized how incredibly selfish and pathetic that mentality is. So I'm trying to be as honest and open in my communications with people, notably people I had mutual connections with. I decided to send him a message asking if he was mad at me. He's probably not going to like it though; probably should have rephrased to ask what happened. Hopefully he's not an ass about it but it's better to know sooner rather than later.

It has been almost a year since I last visited this blog. I'm currently in quarantine. Feeling quite tired at the moment. Here; this is the music I am listening to: Some new things about my life-- - I got a job and I really love it; I think I have found my calling in life - I am still studying for my entrance exams; I've only realized recently that I've simply been very unmotivated for the past few years, to do anything productive with my life. The reason why is apathy-- towards my life and myself. Now that I know this I've been taking appropriate steps in resolving any blockages. - I lost 15 lbs --15 more to go! - My sleep is OK. I now sleep from 10PM-7AM, and I have to say it's probably the most optimal sleep I've had in a long time probably because it's where my natural circadian rhythm falls. - I've learned that I require some novelty or stimulation in my life. There is a label for this; it's HSS (high sensation seeker) HSP (highly sensitive person); and that's me in a nutshell; I think the reason why the "labels" help me so much is that it helps me build a vocabulary about what's going on inside of me through studying a pre-made framework. - I have such an urge to cook again; I stopped for a long time because of trauma from my last job (where I "cooked" a lot). I am in the process of buying cooking utensils and ingredients; can't say it will be a great experience; will have to see. Cooking has a way of bringing out the darker sides of me (I find it stressful). - My pet whose family I cared for and adopted out (but I kept her) is now a year and 3 months old. She's well past her prime (she is considered "elderly")-- She's very tame and sweet. - Up until quarantine, I'd been socializing more and building a sense of "community," that includes attending fundraisers, going to church, volunteering, and writing workshops. It's been great help for my mental health. At the moment I am trying to build a more meaningful life, one that I want to engage in and be a part of.

Had an online penpal, a guy from overseas during lockdown. We messaged each other back and forth for little over a week consistently. We got along very well. Our messages were long (I'd spend an hour writing back) and we were having fun. However, eventually I just wanted to focus on other pursuits and get back to the real world so I mustered a meaningful goodbye even though it wasn't easy. Well he never messaged me back. Now I'm wondering if I did something wrong. Did I mess up? Why didn't he write back? Tell me what you think.

First date. I picked a local cafe with good music and volume, and comfortable seats. My date shows up. He is leaning forward and his pupils are dilated. But he persistently yawns, heavily, which he tells me is due to a busy day. I ask, do you think you could use some sleep? He says yes, tells me it’s nice meeting me and we should reschedule, pats my hand for god knows why, and then promptly leaves! I look at the clock to find that only 20-30 minutes have passed. he never sends a follow up text. did my date just bail on me?

I’ve been having bad flare-ups of social anxiety lately where I think everyone hates me. The reality is they are likely indifferent, but deep down I think I’m highly unpopular and ostracized, and I really want to just ask people “What do you really think of me?” questions— 1. What suggestions do you have of what I can do to improve this? 2. What do you really think of me? 3. Would it be a good idea to actually ask people this? Or would it be weird?

I frequent another forum, and have been there for years now... Lately when I make threads on there, I've noticed that only some users will reply, and it's always the same users. Other users will completely ignore the thread and won't respond, and don't respond to any threads I make, despite responding to multiple threads within the same topic. I'm starting to feel like the forum is a popularity contest-- People will only respond if they like the topic starter or are friends with them. Otherwise, the topic starter gets ignored. Thus, unless the topic starter is actively trying to be liked and popular, they're basically "shunned." Does this sound reasonable to you? What would you do in a situation like this?

it's free on YT Reapers as a concept aren't unlovable. There's lots of romanticized movies and TV shows about them. Still, for w/e reason, it was ominous in my mind. IDK what that was about... err. yeah.. i'll pass....

I've recently met someone online that I've taken an uncanny interest in. I'm a bit wary about it, and so are all my family, because my last ex-boyfriend/fiance was a nightmare. He stalked me for months after I broke up with him, and was very disrespectful to the wishes of me and my family. I met my ex in school while completing my graduate courses. So I'm hoping that this new guy I'm talking to won't end up so turbulent. I'll have to be more careful/cautious with him. I am actually thinking that when I'm truly serious about someone, making them sign an official background check and undergoing neuropsychological evaluation. ...I know, heavy, right. I just feel like I can't be too cautious. Anyway, at the moment I am busting my butt looking for work. There's a lot of jobs, so it's not as bad as it has been the last several years when the recession hit. At current I'm studying for a couple of standard exams for more schooling still. I'll have to sign up for classes to brush up on material, but I don't want to make the commitment until I have a job that can help me pay for my classes. Taking care of my health has been the best thing. I no longer feel as "wobbly" about life or like "I can't do it." Once I've really cemented my schedule, I think it should be smooth sailing~! I did make some changes, such as to my meditation routine. I've recently picked up on this thing called "reiki," a new-age healing. It apparently has proven, in one study, beneficial for individuals who displayed depression/anxiety ( neurotics like me : ) but didn't fit the dsm-v diagnostic criteria. So far, it has really helped me to "Let go," and that has made such a big difference in positivity.