I loved her too much, she loves me but we physically lost each other ( not death, just no contact). I also caused her to suddenly stop going to college in her 3rd year due to negativity. I didn't want that to happen. Now we lost each other and simply thinking of her or any reminder of her automatically makes me cry. After a short time, I dissociate and suddenly stop feeling anything. I guess it's really that deep and upsetting that my body shuts the emotions out. I don't know what to do. I feel so overwhelmed for no reason and tend to go numb. What do I do? I can avoid everything related to her or repeatedly face the emotions, go numb/dissociate and repeat this cycle in hopes I can exhaust the negative feelings? I'm thinking of getting professional help, who helps with this? I can't stop loving her, it's too deep. I almost can't be in her past workplace or think of her without my body automatically going cry mode. How to deal with this?
