Sam

This post hurts so much. Damn! Dude, the beauty that you are talking about, is what I am looking for. That nobility, is all that really matters. I want TO WAKE THE FUCK UP!!! JUST TELL ME HOW? Many thanks Mr. Gleeson Sam

I am not interested in being coached, but would love to know what I am gonna miss?

I can't believe. Dude, Your thinking is 100% correct. I truly need to ask you some questions, please PM me!

I would love to ask a question, say you just discovered that somebody betrayed you, or anything that stimulate the sorrowful part in us. What is the best reaction in that case. Should I just completely avoid feeling pain and only focus on what to do? is there any advice you can give me about this matter? Because it's here were I struggle the most. Again, many thanks to you guys. I promise to put in the effort for change. Your sentences were very inspiring and powerful.

Many thanks, yes I do in fact watch a lot of documentaries concerning humanity destruction. I watch people dying from poverty, animals being slaughtered with no mercy, heartless terrorist and a corruptive society. In particular, I found myself to be very sensitive to envy and jealously. Probably it's the reason why I want to show others what's behind the scene so they stop thinking that I don't deserve good things. Anyway, as you said I should stop writing about "pitiless word" bullshit. I think I need to see the world from a different perspective. I hope that it will not take that many years, seriously I don't want to wait that long to clean myself from that mentality. Again, many thanks for your reply.

I was recently extremely horrified about my hidden victim psychology. I still find it too hard to fix myself, although I have watched all of Leo's videos concerning that topic and I'm aware of how bad that thought process really is. .... Let me explain. ... I find myself (ironically) pleasing from people's sympathy expressions. I often wish that I can go to that manipulative girl that acts like she's really nice, and expose her to how much harm she has created through gossip and fake personality, and ("concealed wish") watch her feel sorry for all that crap. I wish that I can go to that toxic guy and tell him how shit he is to everyone and in particular (me) and watch him ("concealed wish") feeling guilty about that. After doing deep self-introspection, I was shocked from my self-deception, I thought that I'm an assertive person, but unfortunately I truly want others to show me sympathy. That made me feel disgust about myself and I decided to eliminate that sudden very hidden pleasure that comes from wanting others to be guilty of the things they have done to me. Most importantly, I often have the hidden urge to tell everyone about my childhood trauma and how much suffering I had to go through to get where I am today. I want to show others how much hard work it took me to achieve certain things in my life. It's crazy, although I acknowledge it, I still find it pleasuring for others/me to feel sorry about me. Seriously, why am I unable to change that disgusting mentality, even though I am aware that I'm responsible for the most (bad) things in my life. I mean seriously, sometimes I daydream about making a movie about myself and about this pitiless world we live in. Very dramatic daydreaming. Any help to get rid of that latent bullshit is GREATLY APPRECIATED!!

You guys made me cry.

note: (I will omit some details in order to keep it short and comprehensible, for instance the word science were used instead of the specific field that I am passionate about.) There are two life purposes that seems very attractive for me. Unfortunately, it's quite tough to stick to one. The first one is becoming a scholar in science and to devote a large proportion of my life to it. I want to discover new ideas and be committed to this seemingly noble life purpose. However, after speaking to some experienced people in the field. They tell me that I am young and should rather build my life and worry about a secure future instead (Independence, financially able and maybe raising a family). The path I am choosing pays very little and in order to survive you'll need to work very hard and publish a tremendous amount of research that not only requires talents that I might potentially not have, but also my youth itself since it's a very long path. Seriously I'll need to become a professor. The second one is briefly, becoming wealthy by starting a business and that will eventually inspire others to do the same and I'll also be able to help those in need, particularly to fight poverty and injustice by acquiring the power to do so. That makes it a noble pursuit. This purpose seems more capable to influence a large number of people than the first one which is rather esoteric. However I am still inclined towards the first one for some reason. Conclusion: Well, I am worried and confused that I'll make a regretful choice. I feel that the first one seems more close to me but most people advice me against it and I know that the financial gains will be negligible relative to being an entrepreneur plus it's emotionally difficult path to pursue and also time consuming. The field is theoretical and its beauty lies in its ideas - (That doesn't really bother me but people seems to point it out as being a huge reason to pick the second path). Thanks in advance.