You don't have to be all that stuff. That stuff is for guys who want HOT girls.
If you want an ordinary, below-average girl, you can get away with not working on yourself.
But this forum is fundamentally about becoming the best that you can be. So we are biased in that way. We want more than the average guy here.
But also, becoming good with women and becoming a high-value guy IS just you being you. Assuming you want to be a high-value guy. If you want to be a lazy guy, then do that. In which case why are you reading about dating advice? Dating advice already assumes you want to improve yourself somehow to get a better result.
If you care about attracting high quality women, you must offer her something in return. Otherwise you're basically trying to cheat her.
You see, the real key to pickup is that it's not about tricking a hot girl to sleep with a lame guy. It's about turning a lame guy into a powerful man, and then girls crave that new guy you have become. In this way you aren't cheating the girl, you are actually transforming yourself for her. You are giving her the gift of the best possible you!
All the fucking work I did on myself, I can now happily gift to a woman for her enjoyment. And that is ultimately the greatest joy of the pickup journey: the joy that women get from who you have become. It's like giving a homeless person a million dollars and seeing the smile on his face.
The average guy gifts his girlfriend a turd.
A guy who works on himself gifts his girlfriend the sparkling diamond which he has become.
Your girlfriend doesn't want a diamond around her finger, she wants a diamond between her legs. She wants you to be her diamond.
And how are diamonds made? Under great pressure. The pressure of life experience forges a weak boy into a powerful man. And it is this purification process which you hate when you say, "I hate this".
Of course it will massively grow your self-esteem and confidence. Especially in the context of women.
But of course it will not fix all your self-esteem issues automatically. There are many dimensions to self-esteem and confidence which pickup will not touch.

Nothing. It just takes some courage and confidence in yourself.
If you can't muster the courage to even walk up and introduce yourself, why on earth would she ever let you inside her legs? A weak guy like you doesn't deserve a hot girl.
The solution is to become a strong guy. Strong guys get hot girls.
When you want something in life, you have to be willing to work your ass off for it. Amazing shit is not just gonna land in your lap. You must BUILD what you want. Do you want to be a strong guy? Then BUILD it! Don't ask "But how?" Just get started.

Yes, this is all about how you carry yourself and make your approach. There are right and wrong ways to approach and set the proper first impression.
You need to make sure your body language is non-threatening. You also need to be very chill and casual about it. You need to start off immediately by treating her as your girlfriend, not as a stranger. Whatever you feel will transfer onto her. If you are nervous, she will be nervous. If you feel awkward, she will feel awkward.
After I stop her, the first thing I do is I immediately say something to take the edge off. Something like, "Hey, I know this seems random and weird, but I just saw you and thought you were cute. Don't worry, I'm not crazy or anything." And then YOU must carry the conversation. Don't just stop a girl cold and then look at her silently, expecting her to carry the conversation. You gotta start moving your mouth and engage her attention with interesting talk, not awkward silence nor peppering her with boring questions.
It's also super-important that you SMILE on open. Be smiley.
If you open her without smiling, that's your #1 mistake.

And how many of them were single and you were willing to fuck?
You see? The numbers are simply too low.
If you take responsibility for this situation you can socialize with 30 single women in one weekend. Thus increasing your odds of finding the right girl by a factor 30, 50, or 100!
Contemplate how HUGE that is. Imagine x100 fold increase. This is relatively easy to create simply by going out every Fri, Sat, Sun. It's that simple to get a x100 increase. And we haven't even talked about upgrading your skills yet. With upgraded skills you will get another x100 increase.
It's not only a numbers game, but when the numbers aren't in your favor you're setting yourself up for failure.
If you were a real estate agent and you only talked to 30 people in 3 months, your children would starve, no matter how good of an agent you were. Being good at real estate requires constantly getting new leads and socializing and meeting dozens of new people every week. Same when dating.
It's not only numbers, but numbers matter a lot. And this actually works in your favor because you can control numbers pretty directly.
You can increase your numbers by x100 starting next week.
Social anxiety can have multiple root causes, some of which might be deep inner trauma which requires doing some inner work. But this is all a big part of pickup work. Pickup is not just about going out every night. It is also very much about correcting your poor inner game, poor mindsets, limiting beliefs, low self-esteem, bad habits, etc. There is a huge psychological component to getting good with women and becoming a strong, confident man. But all that inner game stuff will never be enough if you don't socialize.
You must do BOTH! Inner game and outer game. You must do psychotherapy-type work on your limiting beliefs and low self-esteem AND you must hit the bars and clubs every weekend.
The two synergize, creating an upward spiral.
Incels create a downward spiral by never going out and then creating a toxic ideology to rationalize why going out is pointless and why no girl will like them. This is a toxic cancer of the mind which creates as self-fulfilling prophecy.
You can change all those pathways because your brain and mind are plastic. That's the whole point of our work here! Everything about you can change!
If you can change your brain to stop constructing ego, you can also change it to be good at socializing.

It squares up perfectly. Being more feminine is what makes you more dramatic, emotional, playful, and charismatic. But you still need to be confident and assertive.
Don't try to act macho. Act feminine and playful. BUT, be confident and assertive as you do so.
The ideal man is like a knife coated in honey. It's sweet on the outside but it's made of steel on the inside.

Oh yes they would.
Tolle is the equivalent of a rock star. He's got STATUS, which girls love more than psychopathy and confidence combined
STATUS is the ultimate game. Status is the ace of spades.
If Eckhart Tolle was an enlightened nobody, then he wouldn't get laid by hot girls.
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It's important to also keep in mind that what I was talking about in this thread was HOT girls. There is huge difference between girls who are average and girls who at like top 1% HOT. Those top 1% girls are much more demanding than your average girl.
An average girl you can treat nice and she will like you. A top 1% HOT girl you must treat like trash for her to like you.
I didn't make the rules. It's just how the game works. Don't go treating average girls like a dick. Only the top 1%.
There is a huge difference between dating average girls and dating models. A HOT girl can earn lots of money just being a model. The hotter she is, the rarer she is, the more guys are drooling over her, the more psychopathic you must be to catch her attention.

No. If only it were so easy.
In practice it's much harder and messier.
Firstly, there's no guarantee that just being born to good hippie parents will make you Green. You could still turn out a Red rebellious teen who does heroin.
Secondly, even if the kid has an easy path to Green due to his comfy environment and education, he will still not have fully integrated the lower stages. He will be a weak, flimsy Green. A lot of people in their 20's today are Green on the surface, but at their core they are hollow. They haven't developed the assertiveness and courage of Red, nor the discipline and work ethic of Blue, nor the success of Orange. This is very typical. It's a very flimsy Green. Such a kid will believe in universal equality but can't even muster the balls to approach a hot girl nor has the work ethic to hold down a job and pay his bills because his hippie parents paid for everything.
In practice you need years of experience working through each stage. You might need to do it backwards in the sense that you start off as a hollow Green, then you go back and master Blue, then Orange, then Red, and then back to Green to fully appreciate Green and become rock solid Green, then Yellow, and beyond. Each of these phases might take you 3-5 years of active work.

Who gives a fuck?
Be a man and go get the girls you want! You are the hunter. Stop sitting around waiting for them to hunt you. You should be the one who's screening girls to find which ones are worthy of your love.
If a girl can't see how awesome you are, that's her stupidity and it is beneath you to try to second-guess yourself by assuming she is somehow right. Own your awesomeness rather than waiting for girls to validate it for you. Adopt the frame of a man who understands his own worth regardless of what the outside world is telling you.
When the outside world tells you that you're not awesome, you need to tell yourself, "They're crazy! I'm even more awesome than I previously realized. How can they be so blind?"

@Don Wei Bro, that's the entire point of learning game. It allows you to hold your poise and cool with the hottest women.
Attracting the hottest women requires being like ice. And they will shit-test you to test your iceyness and detachment. If you fail the shit-tests -- if she can break your poise -- she will immediately lose interest.
The bottom line is this: you will only be able to keep a girl who you can be icey with. If she can de-center you, you won't be able to keep her. If she is the prize and not you, you won't be able to keep her. You must be the prize.
You can increase your cool by lots of experience dealing with shit-tests and rejection. It's also important to raise your entitlement to have the hottest girl. You must feel like you're fully entitled to it. MASSIVE ENTITLEMENT. Like you are a king. This means slaying all your insecurities.
Hot girls are attracted to massive confidence and huge balls. You need to be the most confident guy in the room. Not through fakery. But actually.
The hottest girls are basically attracted to sociopaths, narcissists, bosses, and ruthless scumbags.

Don't act like women are not looking to score with the top 5% of guys.
It's just that since a woman's survival agenda is different, her standards for what "top 5% of guys" means is different. It's not about looks, it's about all the other factors relevant to a woman's survival.
Really, what the best form of pickup does is turn a guy into the top 1% of guys, making him highly desirable to women by default, without any tricks.
For example, after all the work I have done on myself, I know I'm in the top 1% of what women want. And a woman who sleeps with me will know it and fall completely in love. This didn't happen by accident. This happened through 20 years of constant labor. But you ladies care nothing about the labor that went into it. You just want the end result and never to wonder about how the sausage was made.
Pickup is NOT about tricking women into sex. Pickup is about becoming an exceptionally valuable man.
In a sense, pickup is about outshining all the other lazy wolves.
Here's a story:
 

You can get very technical about game.
But that's not good for newbies. When you're just starting out you want to focus on the bare basics like your dress, grooming, approaching consistently, building decent state, eye contact, smiling, body posture, physical escalation, never running out of things to say, and leading.
The most important things are:
Going out at least 2x-3x nights a week, consistently Approaching consistently Putting yourself into a good mood while you do so Smiling and laser eye contact Getting good at never running out of things to say. Becoming good at holding conversation Communicating with her man-to-woman, with clear sexual intent Immediate physical escalation Leading her That will get you 90% of your results. Getting decent at all the above will take you several years of full time work.

Street and day game is my fave. It works even better since there's almost zero competition.
One of the best things I got from my 2000 approaches is that these days if I see a cute girl at Wholefoods, I can fairly effortlessly just walk up to her and walk away with her number.
Once you get good enough, building state will not be so important. Especially during the day where you should be more low-key and normal.
Once you get good at pickup, social circle will be like shooting fish in a barrel. It's so easy. Normal dating becomes so easy.
Pickup in loud clubs is like Navy Seals training. If you can handle that you can handle anything.
Of course there's a lot more to it than one law. And state transference is not about clowning around, it's about being grounded, chill, confident, happy, etc. rather than terrified or anxious to be near a girl. Your fear will transfer to her so fast.
State transference is such a powerful principle. It even applies when you're talking to your girlfriend over the phone. Whatever mood you're in will quickly rub off onto her. It's important to understand this principle and use it to lead girls into positive states.
Pickup gets very advanced and nuanced as you get a few years into it. There are hundreds of nuances to learn, but you cannot learn them unless you do 1000s of approaches. I could talk about the nuances of pickup for 20 hours straight to a newbie.
I could talk for several hours just about the nuances of setting up the first date to make sure it's most successful. I spent dozens of hours just honing my first date process.
Every part of your game needs to be finely-honed like knife: your dress, your grooming, the approach, the opener, body language, sub-communication, state, small talk, kino escalation, flirting, leading, asking screening questions, logistics, bouncing, managing her friends, managing her excuses, getting phone numbers, texting, setting up dates, isolation, closing, dealing with last minute resistance, foreplay, sex, etc.
You do need a solid city for pickup. I highly recommend moving to big city. It's worth it.

I would look for a torrent of their entire old-school video catalogue. Not their paid material but their free YT videos. That stuff is GOLD. I'm sure it exists online somewhere.
Well, that hardcore approach machine mentality is basically what you need to gain massive skills and results. It works in Europe and elsewhere of course. It works anywhere there are lots of women.
But they also taught many fundamental inner game principles such as law of state transference, building up state, and much more. Those principles are crucial.
You are not going to get good with attracting women without MASSIVE approach experience. You need to be approaching 1000s of women. Everything else is secondary. You will learn the details as you force yourself to approach.
I approached something like 2000 women within a year. And that was still just the start of the learning process. I never got super good at it. But I got A LOT better than when I started.
It's not about sleeping with 100s of women. You'll be lucky to get a small handful from those 2000 approaches. It's about honing your skills and inner game through massive exposure and experience. It's about building yourself up as a man. Any future girlfriend you have will appreciate the strength pickup has built in you for her.
Pickup is like meditation. You must do it seriously to get results. It's one of the most challenging things you'll do in your life. But also one of the most rewarding.

There's your answer in a nutshell.
The problem is that no care enough to actually know things. So hardly anyone knows anything. The mind is simply closed.
My only secret has been total openmindedness and desire to know. It sounds simple yet only one in a billion people does it.
If you actually cared enough you would be the wisest person in the world. But you don't care enough.

Go out and practice socializing with strangers at malls, stores, etc.
Practice on old ladies at the mall.
There is no magic pill solution that will allow you to escape practice.
Your practice shouldn't be focused on how to get anyone attracted, but just simple basic small talk. Learn to keep a conversation going with a stranger while holding good eye contact and being comfortable in your body.
Keep it very basic.

@innerchild Your issues are not spiritual but basic material. You just need to work on finding a job and moving out from your parents.
You're still like a bird in the nest. Leave the nest and fly.
Once you move out you will feel a lot of freedom and a sense of autonomy.
How you move out is up to you. I would look for a job that can pay you some money and gain you some of the experience you'll need in the future. Or a job that gives you free time to work on your own stuff. Some jobs are less demanding than others. You'll have to get creative and see what opportunities are around.
Once you have a job to pay basic bills you can work at night on developing new skills and upgrading your career.
Work 40 hrs at your job and then another 20 hours at night on your skills.

It's actually very easy to do. You can just communicate and coordinate it.
Try this: tell her that she is not allowed to orgasm until she gets your permission. Train her to cum only when you tell her to. Do not be letting her cum on her own whenever she wants. This is a rookie mistake. She has to follow your lead, and your lead should delay her orgasms to tease her until she is ready to explode. This will make her orgasms way more powerful and deeper. You can also use this to extend the length of her orgasms from seconds to minutes.
Stop having lazy, unskillful, accidental sex.

Haha!
That is pickup!
In order to pull that off one would require massive pickup experience.
Such an authentic opener requires so much confidence and experience to pull off. That is my fave type of opener and it took me many approaches to master. Authenticity on a dime is the mark of a master, not a newbie.
But also, the opener is just the beginning. It will never be enough to actually get her. You must also know how to keep the conversation going, how to charm her, and how to close. All this takes lots of practice. Learning how to lead and close is hugely important for results.
It took me many approaches to learn that I have to ask her on an insta-date right then and there by walking with her to a coffee shop. Which means I need to know where the nearest coffee shop is.
A newbie cannot know such things and will screw up every phase of the process with awarkness and ineptness.
Stop thinking of pickup as fakery. Pickup is the art of learning to be totally natural. Ironically, this takes a lot of practice. "Natural" is what gets you laid. But natural ain't natural.

Look, triggering attraction in women is a very specific and highly counter-intuitive skill. It has also been well documented and validating in-field.
I have not interest in arguing over what works. I've approached 1000s of women and I've seen what works and what does not. You can do the same and find out. Otherwise speculating about it is a waste of time.
Women are not attracted to what they logically tell themselves they are attracted to. And it's pointless trying to convince women logically about how attraction works. Attraction works exactly how it works and no amount of talk will change that.
You might as well try to convince all men that they shouldn't like boobs. Good luck.

I did not assume you were.
I am merely communicating to you guys that you are lazy. You do not really care about truth. You are here dicking around.
Truth is a serious pursuit and it's clear simply by one's attitude who is serious about it and who is not.
This is extremely advanced work we are doing, yet many of you treat it so sloppily. As if this is some CNN debate panel where one can just spew bullshit and opinions with impungity.
You want to understand psychics? Go read 20 books written by psychics. Then let's talk. Show me you're serious.

That's such a huge topic.
Here's a few things quickly off the top of my head:
Laser eye contact Learning to create a genuine smile on a dime Firm, commanding tone of voice. Slowing down your rate of speech. Being relaxed and at ease in your body when talking Simply lots of socialization and conversation experience (doesn't even have to be with women). The stuff I talk about in my video: How To Be Funny The ability to talk about yourself endlessly. Dressing sharp. Get all of your clothing tailored for slim fit. Groom yourself well. Upgrade your whole wardrobe to be stylish. Develop a sense of style that suits you. The ability to be playful and laugh at yourself and life Handle your sexual neediness so that you aren't sexually needy Develop charisma -- I have a good book about charisma on my book list. Passion for life. You must be building an awesome life for yourself aside from girls/sex/relationship. The girl should be the least important part of your life. Your life should be so awesome that anyone who comes into contact with you would feel lucky. You must be in love with yourself and your life. Self-Love. Accept yourself as you are, completely. Be thrilled to be you. Treat yourself as God's gift to the world and to women.  
You feel the pain of it fully. You cry. You pull your hair out.
Some nights I had such failure that I literally drove home crying. And that's what made me stronger. The suffering grows you.
Read the book Mastery by George Leonard.

There are right and wrong ways to learn game.
If you're doing good game, your goal is to develop authenticity and inner strength. You're not trying to please the girl at all. If you go in trying to please the girl, that's bad game, and she will smell it and reject you. With good game you're not being fake to trick her into liking you, you're working on yourself as a many to burn off all your fear and weakness so that when she's talking to you, you actually are a highly attractive, strong, valuable man. And then she falls in love. She's not falling in love with a fake or a people-pleaser. If anything, game will make you icy and detached. You will stop caring what people think of you. And then your game will shoot through the roof because women find that so attractive.
In the end, after your entire gaming journey is complete, what you'll discover is that nothing is more attractive than genuinely and FULLY being yourself. That's all game is. But when you start you are so self-conscious and so inauthentic that you have no idea what FULLY being yourself means. Game is a process of a many discovering himself. And then women get attracted like flies on shit.
If you can just be 100% fully authentically yourself without an ounce of fear or embarrassment in front of a hot woman, that's all you need to sleep with her. It really is that simple. But it's also really hard to pull off if you're a socially awkward guy with little dating experience who secrete hates himself for all his flaws.
All you need is to be able to walk up to a beautiful women, look her straight in the eyes like you want to fuck her, and then proceed to have a fun playful relaxed conversation, charged with a tinge of sexual energy. Easier said than done. Real game is about training yourself to be able to do that.