integral

I 100% agree What a relationship mostly is, is a fast path to growth. Both of you have to be growing constantly to learn how to be a healthy human being inside the relationship. This is because you're both deeply immature. People are going to project a bunch of stuff onto your partner, wanting them to be things they cannot be. This continues until you both finally stop playing that foolish game, accept the flaws in each other, and move on.

The way you're describing love is through the lens of movie romance, fantasies about a woman being a good pure person. If you thought of a woman as a devil spawn Kicking and Screaming half of the time, and come up with practical strategies for loving that, then you would understand what I'm saying. 😂

And i want her to make 3 million a year and her farts to smell like chicken nuggets. It's better to think about this in a practical overall sense, instead of narrowing on a ideal

So life is not a Disney movie. Morals is what keeps you around when she gets sick, irritable and old. The idea that the reason you want to stay with her is because she has all these amazing qualities is not sustainable. All her amazing qualities will fade. What I offered was the practical reality of life. That's fine that you're gonna want some intellectual stimulation, any girl like green is gonna give you enough. What I'm talking about is the practical reality of things. These are luxuries. Instead of accepting who a person is, we need them to be someone that is worthy of our love and respect. These bars that were setting are not sustainable. These people are not capable of maintaining whatever excellence you need from them, their bodies are gonna get sick, minds are gonna become irritable and impatient.

Yeah, people need to get certain things out of it. What people confuse as love is just getting their needs met. What's realistic is getting a net positive relationship and that's about it. What you're looking for is one basic metric to be met, like that the person is mature, both have a healthy sex drive, both are going to work towards finances. There's always gonna be flaws. Everyone is living in an unrealistic fantasy

At some point, you just give up on needing any of these things from one person. Just accept them for their flawed level of development, and focus on other things. Where does this idea come from that we need a romantic dream relationship? A lot of people are dysfunctional to the point not being around them is best but after that point if the person isn't a net negative then their flaws are accepted and you move on. Everyone is so picky, the bare minimum here is that you want someone that isn't a net negative to your life. Doesn't have to be a pixie dream girl Yeah, it feels that way, but if the framing is that, I'm gonna approach this person and make them feel good because I'm introducing good vibe, so I am providing value to their lives through this conversation, then you're not gonna feel as soulless about it.

Exactly there are plenty of people who have the mindset to work on problems in the relationship. Woman getting the "ick" then losing attraction is a different type of operating system.

How the changing works exactly, agree that their attraction system changes as they get older and they know what they want better. The woman I dated that told me her type was black men, and she went to date a black drug dealer, attraction system is just chasing whatever the hottest man is from her biology that's perfectly fine, And later on many years later, she told me yeah the guy I'm dating "set me straight and changed me". Basically he didn't tolerate her bullshit and put her in her place and this had some kind of "taming the brat" effect. lmfao The second you have any issues she gets the ick and she jumps on another guy's cock. "ick oriented woman". Red has a respect and ick orientation, and they're always vigilantly waiting for your vibe to change. The moment she thinks she's "above you" she loses attraction, but cognitively she understands she's still in love with you but the vibe is gone already, and then they don't really understand it, so they end up cheating. Basically they're in love with you but they're attraction is gone and they lost respect and they don't view you in hi regard anymore, And so the next guy that comes around because they're brand new and there's no history, that triggers their attraction to click back into place and then she cheats.

I understand your not interesting in engaging, ill just say each thing is a slice of the same pie, the critique that most of these red pill ideas all fall into the trap of reductionism is true but thats not a complete view here. Red pill has truth to it, its one way of looking at the same elephant but when you think that one way is the entire elephant you get a nonsense world view. We live in a world that demands one mode from everyone: competitive, always-on, high-survival. People whose temperament doesn't fit that mode, of either sex, pay a cost, and that cost shows up in relationships as contraction, I did not say its a totalizing frame work that defines men and woman, that its one slice of the pie.

@Natasha Tori Maru The "being above" the healthy way is to acknowledge people have different roles and jobs they accell in and its better for the health of the relationship for the man to be in a role that suits his skills. Our society forces everyone to be masculine to function in a corporate job word, alot of people who are built to be feminine have to adapt to the masculine role. They can do it but it comes at a cost of overhead burden that naturals dont have. When someone is constantly adapting to a role that doesn't fit them they burn out much faster and take on unhealthy traits like overthinking, micro-managing, chronic stress. A healthy relationship is best when everyone is in there natural roles and on average the men should be "above" leadership for the relationship to be healthy. The worst situation one of the partners can be in is in a contracted micro managing state and that happens so often that red pill made a "being above" rule to solve it. In all my relationships 9 or so all the woman i was with became this way over time and i wasn't even living with them. They had to work jobs and they took that masculine survive mindset home with them and they couldnt switch out from it. The healthy masculine on average can do practical survival things with out thinking or stress or the need for perfection. Its done with some degree of emotional acceptance. A person adapting to be masculine cant hold this frame with out cost. There are alot of varibles this is just one slice of the pie. Most people in general are emotional wrecks both men and woman, and business men tend to behave like children half of the time.

I was talking about a specific type of woman and literally repeating what they said. I can't find the video, I just watched a video yesterday of a woman saying "I only date black guys" and "a man has to be able to put me in my place". I'm not saying all black people are a certain way

I think you're right lmao The thing with red is that the word respect is used at a whole other level. I had a friend once that he would walk into a room and he would immediately be analyzing and figuring out who respects him or not. And if someone looked at him across the room he would know by Vibe and figure out whether he's being respected or disrespected. So there's this domain of respect that just doesn't happen with the other stages at the same level. --- All the other stages are not doing a calculation whether they respect you or not in real time. They might figure that stuff after depending on what your values are. But in general the way we socialize with each other we hide our true selves because we're all socialized and calibrated. But at stage red there they only care immediately about whether they respect you or not and that they're constantly trying to place you in some category based on superficial things like the way you carry yourself and your posture and the confidence in your tone of voice. A blue woman and a green woman might respect certain things but they don't see it immediately. So they're going to sleep with you anyway, respect isn't tied to their attraction system in the same way.

I think we're confusing different concepts, everyone has their standards and what they're attracted to or not. Most people will sleep with anyone who's hot it doesn't matter what are they respect them or not. A guy will sleep with a girl who works at McDonald's I mean it makes no difference, women will sleep with the gangster with the tattoos even though there's nothing respectful about it because it's just hot. That bad boy masculine energy is hot and they want to have sex. But I was talking about is red value of respect, well you have to be of a certain status in order to deserve having sex with me or else I can't get turned on. You have to be above me or else I can get turned on. You have to be worthy of leading me. You have to be Alpha male This is an entire value system that is specific to Red women that is called respect and it guides their attraction system. But not all red women are like this, it's just one type of way it could show up

I believe respect is mostly values. To a person who is not thinking in terms of respect, the idea of respect doesn't exist. They're not respecting people or not respecting people. They give everyone equal value as everyone is a unique person. Respect is a way of thinking that is only there for someone who lives in a bubble of giving and taking respect. Having standards is separate from respect. Respecting someone only if they have certain qualities is a game someone is playing. Imagine judging someone and not respecting them if they don't hold some quality. Well, that is a specific value system being expressed within that person's thinking process and emotional system.

I've noticed certain women who'll only date a certain type of man because they're in a state where they have to respect whoever's speaking, and if they don't, they get highly disagreeable in the relationship. They're even self-aware about it. They know they need a man who can "put them in their place". So the word I've given this is "respect-oriented." They view the world through respect, it's an emotional inner locus, and if they don't hold you in high enough regard they won't let you lead them. They'll only accept a leader they respect and resist anyone who isn't, to the end. And the sexual attraction system is tied into it. They can't be attracted to a man they don't respect enough, they're hypersensitive to the whole concept, and it's all rooted in their internalized structure of what makes them respect a man versus not. So they end up only dating black guys, because a black guy's appearance is as naturally more on the bad-boy spectrum of ruggedness and masculinity, deeper voice, relax don't give a shit, just by being black, and they'll only go for a certain height and build, men with these superficial masculine features, because they're gunning for whatever gives them that feeling of respecting the person through some kind of dominance, even if it's only superficial. The red pill community loves demonizing this type of woman. I personally dated one, and it's nothing like you would expect because they're highly socialized. They know what to say and not say but they're always hiding their true deeper values. They know how to present themselves like a good person, and they're in conflict not liking that they can't fit societals image of a good person. They constantly feel desires to do things That are directly against who they want to be, and who they want to be is a blue/orange socially constructed idea of what a good person is. The reason they have identity conflict is because they have red values but Society is centered at Orange or blue, and they're fighting who they are (red. values) vs societies standards of what they should be (blue/orange values). The red woman who are not in identity conflict and not playing games to hide themselves. are healthy, and are the ones on the talk show podcast saying exactly what they want and it triggers men. "i only date black guys"