integral

I 100% agree What a relationship mostly is, is a fast path to growth. Both of you have to be growing constantly to learn how to be a healthy human being inside the relationship. This is because you're both deeply immature. People are going to project a bunch of stuff onto your partner, wanting them to be things they cannot be. This continues until you both finally stop playing that foolish game, accept the flaws in each other, and move on.

The way you're describing love is through the lens of movie romance, fantasies about a woman being a good pure person. If you thought of a woman as a devil spawn Kicking and Screaming half of the time, and come up with practical strategies for loving that, then you would understand what I'm saying. 😂

And i want her to make 3 million a year and her farts to smell like chicken nuggets. It's better to think about this in a practical overall sense, instead of narrowing on a ideal

So life is not a Disney movie. Morals is what keeps you around when she gets sick, irritable and old. The idea that the reason you want to stay with her is because she has all these amazing qualities is not sustainable. All her amazing qualities will fade. What I offered was the practical reality of life. That's fine that you're gonna want some intellectual stimulation, any girl like green is gonna give you enough. What I'm talking about is the practical reality of things. These are luxuries. Instead of accepting who a person is, we need them to be someone that is worthy of our love and respect. These bars that were setting are not sustainable. These people are not capable of maintaining whatever excellence you need from them, their bodies are gonna get sick, minds are gonna become irritable and impatient.

Yeah, people need to get certain things out of it. What people confuse as love is just getting their needs met. What's realistic is getting a net positive relationship and that's about it. What you're looking for is one basic metric to be met, like that the person is mature, both have a healthy sex drive, both are going to work towards finances. There's always gonna be flaws. Everyone is living in an unrealistic fantasy

At some point, you just give up on needing any of these things from one person. Just accept them for their flawed level of development, and focus on other things. Where does this idea come from that we need a romantic dream relationship? A lot of people are dysfunctional to the point not being around them is best but after that point if the person isn't a net negative then their flaws are accepted and you move on. Everyone is so picky, the bare minimum here is that you want someone that isn't a net negative to your life. Doesn't have to be a pixie dream girl Yeah, it feels that way, but if the framing is that, I'm gonna approach this person and make them feel good because I'm introducing good vibe, so I am providing value to their lives through this conversation, then you're not gonna feel as soulless about it.

Exactly there are plenty of people who have the mindset to work on problems in the relationship. Woman getting the "ick" then losing attraction is a different type of operating system.

How the changing works exactly, agree that their attraction system changes as they get older and they know what they want better. The woman I dated that told me her type was black men, and she went to date a black drug dealer, attraction system is just chasing whatever the hottest man is from her biology that's perfectly fine, And later on many years later, she told me yeah the guy I'm dating "set me straight and changed me". Basically he didn't tolerate her bullshit and put her in her place and this had some kind of "taming the brat" effect. lmfao The second you have any issues she gets the ick and she jumps on another guy's cock. "ick oriented woman". Red has a respect and ick orientation, and they're always vigilantly waiting for your vibe to change. The moment she thinks she's "above you" she loses attraction, but cognitively she understands she's still in love with you but the vibe is gone already, and then they don't really understand it, so they end up cheating. Basically they're in love with you but they're attraction is gone and they lost respect and they don't view you in hi regard anymore, And so the next guy that comes around because they're brand new and there's no history, that triggers their attraction to click back into place and then she cheats.

I understand your not interesting in engaging, ill just say each thing is a slice of the same pie, the critique that most of these red pill ideas all fall into the trap of reductionism is true but thats not a complete view here. Red pill has truth to it, its one way of looking at the same elephant but when you think that one way is the entire elephant you get a nonsense world view. We live in a world that demands one mode from everyone: competitive, always-on, high-survival. People whose temperament doesn't fit that mode, of either sex, pay a cost, and that cost shows up in relationships as contraction, I did not say its a totalizing frame work that defines men and woman, that its one slice of the pie.

@Natasha Tori Maru The "being above" the healthy way is to acknowledge people have different roles and jobs they accell in and its better for the health of the relationship for the man to be in a role that suits his skills. Our society forces everyone to be masculine to function in a corporate job word, alot of people who are built to be feminine have to adapt to the masculine role. They can do it but it comes at a cost of overhead burden that naturals dont have. When someone is constantly adapting to a role that doesn't fit them they burn out much faster and take on unhealthy traits like overthinking, micro-managing, chronic stress. A healthy relationship is best when everyone is in there natural roles and on average the men should be "above" leadership for the relationship to be healthy. The worst situation one of the partners can be in is in a contracted micro managing state and that happens so often that red pill made a "being above" rule to solve it. In all my relationships 9 or so all the woman i was with became this way over time and i wasn't even living with them. They had to work jobs and they took that masculine survive mindset home with them and they couldnt switch out from it. The healthy masculine on average can do practical survival things with out thinking or stress or the need for perfection. Its done with some degree of emotional acceptance. A person adapting to be masculine cant hold this frame with out cost. There are alot of varibles this is just one slice of the pie. Most people in general are emotional wrecks both men and woman, and business men tend to behave like children half of the time.

I was talking about a specific type of woman and literally repeating what they said. I can't find the video, I just watched a video yesterday of a woman saying "I only date black guys" and "a man has to be able to put me in my place". I'm not saying all black people are a certain way

I think you're right lmao The thing with red is that the word respect is used at a whole other level. I had a friend once that he would walk into a room and he would immediately be analyzing and figuring out who respects him or not. And if someone looked at him across the room he would know by Vibe and figure out whether he's being respected or disrespected. So there's this domain of respect that just doesn't happen with the other stages at the same level. --- All the other stages are not doing a calculation whether they respect you or not in real time. They might figure that stuff after depending on what your values are. But in general the way we socialize with each other we hide our true selves because we're all socialized and calibrated. But at stage red there they only care immediately about whether they respect you or not and that they're constantly trying to place you in some category based on superficial things like the way you carry yourself and your posture and the confidence in your tone of voice. A blue woman and a green woman might respect certain things but they don't see it immediately. So they're going to sleep with you anyway, respect isn't tied to their attraction system in the same way.

I think we're confusing different concepts, everyone has their standards and what they're attracted to or not. Most people will sleep with anyone who's hot it doesn't matter what are they respect them or not. A guy will sleep with a girl who works at McDonald's I mean it makes no difference, women will sleep with the gangster with the tattoos even though there's nothing respectful about it because it's just hot. That bad boy masculine energy is hot and they want to have sex. But I was talking about is red value of respect, well you have to be of a certain status in order to deserve having sex with me or else I can't get turned on. You have to be above me or else I can get turned on. You have to be worthy of leading me. You have to be Alpha male This is an entire value system that is specific to Red women that is called respect and it guides their attraction system. But not all red women are like this, it's just one type of way it could show up

I believe respect is mostly values. To a person who is not thinking in terms of respect, the idea of respect doesn't exist. They're not respecting people or not respecting people. They give everyone equal value as everyone is a unique person. Respect is a way of thinking that is only there for someone who lives in a bubble of giving and taking respect. Having standards is separate from respect. Respecting someone only if they have certain qualities is a game someone is playing. Imagine judging someone and not respecting them if they don't hold some quality. Well, that is a specific value system being expressed within that person's thinking process and emotional system.

I know what you mean, but High orange is essentially where self-development is unlocked. And there's a whole rabbit hole that people will go down and they become addicted to self-development and it's often some of the funnest happiest times to be alive. Maturity is a separate axis from values. A person could be stage red and mature. But because the center of our culture is mostly Orange they'll have a hard time in that environment because they adapted to red values when they should have adapted to be orange as that's the least resistance to culture and Society. So they end up having conflict. But people who are centered orange and healthy have the best lives because they have no conflict with their environment. As everyone else shares the same values as them.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/18hKYaTqkP/ This guy has not left his bed for 8 years, and is 600 pounds. He has a girlfriend. You can also get a girlfriend, now you know.

Being orange is not unhealthy, it's a value system and developmental stage, there's a healthy way to do it then I unhealthy way And then this ties back to Lifestyle, Orange with a social lifestyle or orange that has a different type of Lifestyle is going to play video games

2000$ bottle of vine lol places. but thats normally more of same developmental life style problem, but not always. Developmentally a lot of what is "club lifestyle" is a Red/early-Orange relationship to nightlife -> status, conquest, sensation, being seen. The healthier version of it the same person has different center of gravity and uses the identical venue differently, or naturally go to a scenes that match where they are.

High class parties, dance events, open mics, cafes, jazz clubs, basically anything that is not the standard loud music club.

It's easy to conflate Lifestyle with unhealthy party hookup culture. What you're describing is majority of people who are sleeping around and go to parties every week. So the majority pattern makes it look like there is no healthy life style or way of life to fit there. The healthy people with this life style are not going to clubs but instead different types of events, and avoid the standard "getting hammered" type of party. But ye to them socializing is them enjoying life, vibe hunters.

This is true, but lets not flattens life style to distraction and copping, people have life styles. Going to a party is not by default distraction and having a rooster of 5 is not by default a distraction. Some are copping, some are not but they all have life style preferences.

A person's lifestyle is the path of least resistance for their identity. Its not like some introvert is just going to try to distract themselves by going to a party, they'll instead play video games or isolate themselves from people more. For some identities the path of least resistance is more isolation. To other types of identities the path of least resistance is socializing.

Do not vent, take action. When you don't feel good, stand up, walk out the door and go do something about it.

Did you put the bare miminum effort? I was in the gym since i was 14, I had the body of an athlete by 17. Are you trying at all? Normally when people are complaining a lot they absorb this complaining mental disease from their parents. Complaining is to the level of a mental disorder, the victim mindset. There is no reason to ever complain, it only appears that way because the mind has been trained to do it. When something doesn't go our way there are many modes of thinking available, complaining is just one.

Alot of poeple have hook up culture brain. The woman that love parting, loud places and are at clubs/bars all have this life style. Its a life style that we dont share so it looks from the outside that they wouldn't be happy, but they are perfectly fine being FWB and they want no strings attached. A man having a rotation of 5 to a woman is considered "high value man" because his status was verified vai social proof by other woman A woman having a rotation of 5 to a man is considered "low value woman" because whos the father? no man wants to raise someone elses baby and they want the woman to be loyal only to him. The sexs have different survival agendas.