integral

Most spiritual gurus don't age much, might want to look into that magic formula. If it makes you feel any better, im 31 and slept with much older women past 65. It made no difference.

She would listen and apply everything that i would say, like a mentor, student role. She was attracted to me for being a mentor to her, never had this with any other partner, so its what made the relationship more valuable to me. She fully could receive my love language. teaching, while other partners and most people cannot. Never had a partner after this that wanted the love i wanted to give them. I always have to adapt my love expression to a partners needs, blocking deeper connection. What does this reveal about myself? Why is being valued as a teacher by others so important?

Looking for insight into why i reacted in a specific way in this scenario and what it is a reflection of (shadow). Someone asked me "what company do you work for?" i responded, "why ask someone what company they work for?", my thought process was that they wouldn't know the company anyways, its a redundant question, i also dont care about the details of my characters story. A argument continued from here where they pushed to get me to just answer the question and couldn't understand why i was being "difficult" about it. In the end i never gave them an answer because I just don't care and id like to talk about the deeper meaning behind the question. They took offense that i "attacked" them, that's how they experienced it. Of course this was a communication error on my part but what im asking is why did i refuse to just answer the question? What kind of survival agenda is this? Why did i stand my ground and refuse to have small talk?

Why is green so serious? lol

What's the issue in role playing? Its a game?

Yes the motivation. A "i don't care" boredom attack. At the same time, its not useful information to them. Its hard giving people information that will be deleted from there memory, that will have no impact, that carries no journey. I want to plant a seed. That's motivating, ill get all enthusiastic about it. But again, this path trampled on someone's emotions. Im trying to find a deeper shadow here that I'm missing. Is boredom induced conflict a shadow? lmao Ive yelled "i don't care" while laughing, in front of people multiple times now. Got to be something here im doing wrong? lol What model is your car? What foods do you like to eat? When is your birth day?: I don't know, I don't remember and i don't care.

@realized That seems accurate. but is this all shadow? What did i not integrate?

@Blackhawk As a "what if" thought experiment. Hold a belief like "what if pigs could fly", explore that kind of world in your mind, there would be pigs chilling on roofs and a major pig shitting problem, new jobs would open up to manage them, also pigs are pretty smart with that increase in mobility alot of new behavior would open up, pig coordinated crime, pig stalking... We just explored an imaginary world, maybe we learned something from it.

Why must there be evidence for something to explore it? Imagine if Columbus refused to sail with out evidence that there was land on the other side of the ocean, he never would of left.

I imagine it went something like this?

He might have erectile disfunction problems is embarrassed and doesn't want to talk about it. A possibility.

@Username Looks like the documentary was censored/suppressed by the dental community, they got it removed from Netflix. "Root Cause" should be able to find it somewhere

@EmptyVase WaS going to post that one, ya need to be a skater to really appreciate how good he is.

Root cause documentary. Puling out wisdom teeth can cause systemic issues from bacteria buildup that can lead to a infection.

Recently something has lifted away and i feel less resistance. In my early years i would have identified as a heterosexual male (born that way by genetics). The porn i watch has always been male with female. But after this resistance fell away i feel attraction to some men, mostly submissive men. I've never in the past had sex with a man or watched gay porn, but it is now a part of my taste unexpectedly. Has anyone experienced something like this? I'm sure people will think "you where always bisexual", i guaranty with 100% certainty that i was not. I have never had any attraction by looking at a mans body and i have never desired a man, until now. What is this?

"If you can't forget, you can't forgive"

@Etherial Cat So i contacted her and she didn't respond. lol Well that didnt help.

@28 cm unbuffed its tricky, if they are in a committed relationship and their contacted, their might be no motivation to reply. Why wait 2 years? Its definitely time to explore, i guarantee their is a better match out there for you.

@Kay100 Leo Blog Yes the situation was similar to this, high cortisol (stress) state during a interaction. We can see how bottled up he is on the surface. His body language and tone of voice reflect his inner state. While if he was athletic it would be alot easier to hide it. I was in the same situation except more coordinated on how others where experiencing me. Once the shyness is resolved he will look like a completely different person. Is your son in the same situation? What are the a differences?

@Etherial Cat Yes, but how will that help?

Its not all vanity. Its fun and addictive getting stronger over time and seeing performance gains. The only reason i would train was because it felt great. The muscle pain is very satisfying. Early stages of body building training you want to get stronger because its fun, its a game, the muscles are a bonus.

Not if their Athletic. They will have high body, vocal tonality and atmospheric awareness, In this case the shy person is bottling away social anxiety (high stress state) and being very carful not to show it. Making them come off as stiff or unapproachable. Shyness like this, people can hold a stern emotionless face while looking at you, this is where the unfriendliness first impression comes from. Yes we are conflating elements of good looking with having a good social personality. It still depends, in a comfortable situation if a male athlete takes off his shirt and stand very close to you... the pressure is back on. lol Their is no solution but to accept it. For women it might help not to wear yoga pants. lol. hmmm there was a situation where a group of women i never met pulled me aside and told me to strip for them. If men did this to a woman it would be outrages. For wtv reason its acceptable in our culture for women to do this to men. Leo just posted this on his blog Maybe watch it with him, it might exactly apply.

Its a highly synergistic relationship where both partners are feeding each others growth paths. Start by fuelling his growth path. The mindset is also abit off, if your looking for a growth relationship then the first step is to help the person your with grow, actually care about the person your dating as what you can do for them (truly care) and not over focus on what they can do for you.

Tell him what you want him to do in bed, he doesn't know anything, its not that he is not attractive, its that he doesn't understand intimacy. Teach him, communicate everything that you want. Be very explicit, paint the picture, the role he needs to play. Maybe watch some videos of things you want him to copy. Learn by examples. If the fantasy is to be dominated and "taken" then thats what he will learn how to do.

Thought about this more, it seems this is the case, going abit deeper the exact issue i thing is being with someone who is non-judging. The ideal partner can see the larger patterns of how life unfolds and lives by the flow it. Being flow. Dating down the spiral feels like baby sitting.