SunnyNewDay

Most people don't start taking their faith or spirit seriously until they quite literally have something that shatters their reality and gives them a new perspective like a life threatening disease or a problem in life that compels them to meditate for ten days. You are putting the cart before the horse. I mean I suppose some people would benefit from what you're saying but many also benefit from diving in the deep end.

So what do you reccomend instead to a newbie? You give a whole bunch of advice to avoid something that has helped thousands of people but give no alternative approaches.

I was a little passive aggressive with my post (sorry) but I find such discourse to be a bit frightening and a bit out of touch when addressing something as serious to human condition like suicide. First off because it's frightening to think about when someone is in such a state and even not. I'd say the best way to address this question, especially for people thinking of doing it, is that life is a mystery and that all this is here and those emotions are there and the will to live is incredibly strong, we will die one day so why not let nature take us and see what we can learn while here.

People talking about reincarnation as if they know this is 100% what actually what happens.... Often wonder if this is just something people regurgitate after taking some mushrooms and watching some spiritual theory online or if they actually have discovered something that is true.

0 minutes usually, sometimes 20 sometimes 50

It's fine to put spirituality on the back burner if you feel its right and you have enough consciousness already to navigate the world in a good way. I don't think you should prioritize enlightenment if there are other things calling you. You can always have spiritual stuff as something you do only 10-20 minutes a day or some psychadelics every couple months. It's so easy to lose track of what your life purpose is and the experience of the gift of life and prioritize some spiritual practice you are not remotely mature enough for.

Where does the feeling of being "ungrounded" come from?

I get some at night when I close my eyes. I get different geometry, patterns, etc. They are faint but they are there.

No I wouldn't be satisfied with that because while that may be true I always favor my own first hand experience of things and to me evil does not feel like just an illusion, I mean I suppose just existence and everything has this magical dream like illusion feeling to it but evil feels very real or like there is some meaning or purpose to solve it and fix it. This stuff is unfortunately not available in my country. I've been doing breathe work like wim hofand holotropic breathe work and also I've done some psychadelics which have been really helpful. Are there any other emotional techniques and stuff I can do in place of this if therapy isn't available in my country?

I find my mind is so hard to control and sometimes I feel like its damaged. Like I'll try to control my thoughts but it gives me a headache and sensations in my body that feel bad and I feel this brooding emotion. I still try to work on controlling my mind but I've found to work with emotions to be more effective for keeping my mind calm and clean. Any tips for someone who has a really hard to control, active, negative mind that causes a lot of emotional issues and negative thoughts when trying to be controlled?

Hmm ok I see what you're saying I suppose but I still don't see why I see things this way and why it is the way it is if I have this true nature or whatever underneath. Do you understand why there is good and evil in the world? Doesn't make sense to me why many people would go unconscious their whole life and do bad, I mean I understand how it happens but I don't understand why it exists in the first place if God is good. Is it possible to be a bad person and do terrible things and be enlightened and full of bliss? Or is there a phenomenon of being conciousness and doing good because to be concious is to be good?

I would say that I'm trying to come at it from a new perspective (explore new ones) cause up until now the perspectives I've thought about these issues from and experienced before, granted maybe not the most deepest enquiry, have all left me unsatisfied and just kind of sad for humanity, myself existence and my future (fearing it often). One piece of the puzzle that at least comforts me is that a) it's part of existing as a human b) it's possible to be in control of yourself and your future if you try to be honest and good in that order. I don't really understand the rest of what you said but why then is there blindness and pain and if it is all an illusion then why does it have to exist?? I don't see how it doesn't exist if I can knock my finger on a piece of wood and feel it as real and know these bad things happen in this same reality in which my finger knocks on this wood. Do you feel like you are real and you exist on earth?

Why is there so much evil and suffering in the world? There is so much darkness, disgusting, downright evil things that happen on earth. Why does it happen? Why does it exist? Why do I feel like part of it is me? Why do I fear it? Why is it part of creation? How is it possible to be in complete bliss and happiness and feel safe knowing this stuff exists and there is always some danger out there such as an air plane crash, fire, murder, rape or robbery? Is it possible to not have to ever experience complete darkness like this if you try your best to be a good person and live a conscious and good life?

sounds like you've really taken a lot of action and are a good person. many people won't even do even10% of what you have done. Don't really have any advice. Keep on keepin on!

cool job doing this at your age. sounds like you did it well. I'm wanting to do something like this but I don't know kriya, just vippasana. I wonder what a 10 day retreat with some breath work mixed in daily would be like.

Every spiritual path or practice has it's pitfalls, challenges, ups, downs, delusions, etc. I can really relate to what you posted op after having a really horrible, for lack of a better word "traumatic" trip last week. Sometimes things don't make sense and trying to force an answer goes nowhere. Just accept there are delusions sometimes and work with what you feel/think is best. Allow yourself to fear and feel all the bad stuff and delusions. It's okay to just sit still or lie down and feel what you're feeling. Also, every mind is different. People have mental illness and stuff that can come up which can hinder making deep spiritual progress and changes. Everyone is unique so don't think you're doing anything wrong. We all have different paradigms. Psychadelics are kind of like the lottery and life. There is always a tiny chance of anything happening while on them. You can have other stuff you have to work through that's better to be done without psychadelics.

From my experience it's quite literally the devil. Its basically the devil's strongest effort to keep you trapped in misery and holding onto all the bad stuff which makes you feel like a bad person. Soultion: you stand up to it like a bully and face it head on. When you start feeling like you would rather go to the end and die facing this fear rather than living with it is when you know you're gonna win! Don't let the devil win! Jump in and be reborn. All is safe, all that shit is in the past now and you will feel like a brand new good person, which you always were!

This is currently my go to daily spiritual technique. I pray right after and set my intentions before each session. You can also mix it up with holotropic breathwork which is basically the same thing. Very powerful technique and I've found it keeps me in the present moment more than meditation.

Don't listen to Leo if it doesn't resonate with you. Half the stuff he says I don't agree with but I still can respect his art and vision. I'm my own creator and go my own way. Other people are as well and it isnt like he is spreading some bad or dangerous ideology so if you don't agree with it you can let it go.

Take it with someone you trust who could handle you in case you had a psychotic breakdown and keep you safe or hold you down if necessary.

he unquestionably had a ton of darkness to him as well as awareness

there are people with high levels of consciousness that want to work in and spread darkness as well. hence why I like to separate being unaware/aware with being bad/good.

You man up and face the fear. The fear has no reference point. You just experience it because that's the only way forward. It's so simple that people try to use their minds to get them through it but you can't bring your mind along with you. Psychedelics it's possible very quickly if you let go. Be honest and let your heart guide you. Your heart will guide you even better in real life often times as well. Many people are too scared to just be honest, feel scared and dive into the ocean of fear.

why do you think so?

Not necessarily, but even being communicated through an ego it doesn't make my point less valid.