JeffR1

I find letting go of any expectations or desired outcomes helps me to go with the flow of life and accept whatever comes my way. No doubt, serious loss or trauma can upset the flow and everyone responds differently. Accepting also that whatever happens, happens for a reason and is not within our control (we have no control after all), may help you to bounce back. Remember, when the going gets tough, the tough get going!

I often like to practice walking meditation; down the street, in the forest, on the beach - wherever really! Agree also that noise is not an issue - the silence is within.

I too have found I can be shy at times and may tend to hang back in conversations, although over the years I've found I can be more involved in conversations. I'm more comfortable with people I know, which I think could be the case for others. So, for me, a strategy I use with a group of people I don't really know well is to politely and actively listen. Look at the people who are speaking, and really listen to what they are saying (as opposed to what your mind might be chattering at you). Relax your body and breathing whilst taking in what is being said. I find it helps to give non-verbal cues, such as nodding your head and keeping your posture relaxed. After I've taken in what is being said and understand the gist of the conversation, I slowly start to add to the conversation - generally by asking a question. It could be like 'how big was the elephant' - you know, something that is pertinent to the conversation. From there, people will often start to be more open to you and include you. Just go with the flow and you may find yourself feeling even more relaxed, to the point where you might be able to start opening up about something you've experienced or have done. I've actually had people say to me something along the lines of 'wow, you fitted in real well with my friends - they really like you'. And yet, at the time, I knew I was putting in the effort. Over time, I still feel I need to practice the above, and each time it becomes somewhat easier. Don't get me wrong, I'm not 'the life a party' person, it's just more relaxed and easier. One book I can recommend is Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, by Susan J. Jeffers. I've read it at least 5 or 6 times - it is so good and has helped me in so many ways. Best wishes.

Hi Rito. Welcome; great to have you aboard. I agree, Leo's videos are long and elaborate - exactly what I enjoy. I appreciate how Leo goes deep into each topic in a no bullshit way! And good on you for starting working on yourself from such a young age. If I think back, I don't think I could say I was active in pursuits such as reading self development books or anything, although I have always had a curiousity of people and of life. As far as I can remember back, I really think I have been on this journey. It sounds like you have a strong desire to follow a path. May I say, remember it's a journey - be careful about thinking it's a destination you seek. Perhaps you need to be lead down different avenues along the way; this may feel to you like confusion. What I do when I can't get in touch with what is going on within me is to pause, breathe, allow the feeling and then go with my intuition. When something feels 'right', I go with that. Key for me is staying in the present moment and accepting what it is now! Best wishes. PS: I'm 54 years young and still learning - and loving it!

Hi bazera. It sounds like your friend may have deep-seated issues within. Perhaps he is afraid to confront the thoughts and feelings around those issues. Maybe this is why he got angry when you asked him for an example. I've found people will talk when they are ready to talk - some may never be ready to talk. I've also found that trying to get people to open up to deep issues can backfire and lead to anger, resentment and other such feelings. Your friend can choose to talk to you or not - that's his choice. So, what would I tell him? I would let him know you are his friend and that you are there for him if he wishes to talk. Beyond that, if you start to become aware of him wanting to harm himself, do your best to get him medical help.

Hi lilacwest. You raise very interesting questions, which I have also experienced. I wonder though whether you are forcing or 'white knuckling' present moment. To me, present moment is Being in the moment. It's effortless. It's about surrendering to all that is. It's about letting go of all expectations, outcomes and destinations. No doubt, the mind has a tendency to wander and we will at times need to bring it back to the now. That's great you are able to Be at times, though it does appear it is taking a lot of effort on your behalf. To me, Being in the present moment is anything but boring. Nor do I experience impatience. Maybe you might ask yourself what it is you are expecting by being present. Is there a state you are attempting to achieve? What does that state look and feel like? Are you truely allowing yourself to be present? Or, are you just thinking you are present? Esoteric? Yes! Look deep - really deep. Being present to the moment is just that. Nothing from the past; nothing for the future; no expectations; no illusions. It's a complete clearing of everything which sees you connected with all that is. It literally is remembering to 'stop and smell the roses'! And what is that? It means, to me, to let go of everything and just Be exactly where I am that exact moment and realise I am part of something wonderful. Best wishes.

Hi Samuel. It's really your choice if you wish to tell your family. A couple of questions for you to ponder. Why do you feel a need to tell your family? Is your family going to be able to be open to being told? What difference will it make to you if you tell them? Is it your ego that wants to tell them? From my experience, it's good to talk with like minded people; some people are just not open to it. For me, it's mostly a private thing. I've talked to some people and been met with blank stares, or comments like 'that sounds weird' etc. It's your journey, so feel free to follow your intuition. I suggest you self-investigate the questions above. Best wishes.

I used to get a lot of headaches. Then, one day I realised I hadn't had a headache in a long while. Sometime later again, I kind of thought 'I don't get headaches and I have no need for them'. I haven't had a headache for more way more than a decade! Just wish I could do that with some other aspects of my life!

Thanks for like and extra upvotes AnonJohn; much appreciated. Mmmm, where to start? What can I use as an example? I used to believe in the concept that the only thing I could control is my current thought. Now, Leo and others are saying I cannot even control my thoughts. This then brings up the question of 'who am I?'. Okay, let me go out on a limb here. Let's say I'm a test cricketer, facing an incoming fast paced ball. I line it up and in my mind I say 'I'm going to hit this for a six!'. Just as the ball hits the grass, it slices off slightly. I quickly account for the new trajectory, lean in slam the ball with the sweet spot of the bat. The ball flies off high and I start running (confident I've hit a six). As I'm running and the ball is speedily heading into the stands when a seagull swoops down and gets hit by the ball. The seagull is wounded (but recovers), but the ball falls to the ground and I score just one run! I was confident I was going to hit a six; I mean, I even compensated for the new trajectory, but alas, all I scored was a single run. I thought I could control the outcome, or maybe even influence it, but in reality, I couldn't control anything. Long bow? Perhaps? But, I've actually seen footage of a MotoGP motorcycle racer racing towards the finish line around a bend at 300kph and that's exactly what happened - a seagull flew in at him and he head-butted it! So, what control do I (and what is the 'I' really?) have? None. This, for me, has been a release in so many ways. If I can't control outcomes, I can either accept or resist. Acceptance is easier, less stressful and leaves me more open to receive all the present moment has to offer. I can let go of outcomes I expect or want. If I resist, I struggle and life is a more difficult experience. I remember a saying 'what you resist, persists'! In short, accepting I have no control, releases me to just Be!

Hi Ayla. My experience of present moment thinking is that you still plan for the future and remember things from the past, it's just that you don't get hooked in by those thoughts (the monkey mind). Like you, I plan my life, establish routines and invest in my future; being in this physical world, one has to do certain things (work, pay bills etc) and this will involve planning for the future. As your photo of the steps suggests, you can't control the outcome of anything, so trusting (being present) is all you can do. If your plans don't work out the way you hoped, so be it. To me, present moment thinking is accepting everything as it is in this exact moment and not trying to control how things will turn out. Letting go of thoughts of control, worrying about the future or trying to influence outcomes takes you away from the pleasure of just Being! PS: You may have heard this: 'Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Live today as a gift of God, which is why we call it the present!' Bill Keane

I agree Thomas. I took the MBTI test for the first time about 20 years ago. It was interesting and I found the resultant type assessment resonated what I thought about myself. Since then, I've taken test two more times, and interestingly, I found each time my score on introversion/extroversion scale had moved up more towards extroversion. I would like to think that my personal development and life experiences has influenced this. PS: If you like tests, the University of Pennsylvania has good website called 'Authentic Happiness'. Their VIA Survey of Character Strengths one is really worthwhile. Cheers.