Irina Irina

I mean you can be narcissistic but not a narcissist. That's what you are saying. That we all have narcissistic traits.

@Socrates I've been doing my researches about this recently, and I really don't want to believe that my ex never loved me and that he is actually a narcissist. I'm codependent for sure. I've also wondered if I am also a narcissist. After research I found out that if you're codependent, you cannot be a narcissist too. Codependent people attract by nature narcissists. As I've been listening to youtube videos about this, and read a lot, my boyfriend fits the descriptions. I also know that in this 1 year and half I've been an emotional wreck. How could this other person be a healthy one? In No more mr nice guy it s said that where there is a wounded person there are 2. And as I'm listening to these videos I recall some red flags during the relationship. I recall noticing at one point that my ex had no emphaty. I recall how at one point he started to get into my brain more and more and I thought I was going crazy, and that I must be wrong in my thinking even though I now know that I wasn't. I could see a lot clearly at the beginning. I'm so angry at myself. I gave all my trust from the beginning to a person that I didn't really knew. I asumed he must be worthy of all that I have, because of my neediness. And I so red flags from the start, but I still went through. I'm angry at myself for having this condition, for being so vulnerable and easy to manipulate, and for the lack of value that I give to myself.

@Anicko I'm already following Lisa Romano thanks. So what freaks me out, is not the suffering cause I'm used to it. Is the people I am attracted to and that I attract. I'm paranoid about this, as I believe my ex boyfriend is a covert narcissist. And i've met one of these before. The possibillity of meeting another in the future, and being in a relationship with one, scarres me, freaks me out. I almost don't want to be around people anymore. I'm so paranoic at this point.

@Epiphany_Inspired No more Mr nice Guy is a great great book. thanks for your advice. Behaving as closely to the person I want to be, is really powerfull method. I'm doing meditation ( from the book The disease to please- also good) and eft. exercising, doing dental work and taking action to take care of myself, and I hope that these seeds that I'm planting will grow and offer me some power to recover

@Socrates thanks I'll read it

@zakur0 so meditation does work. That s good to know

When you start reading set a time like an hour just for reading and outline The most important things from The book. The create a Word document where you put that information so when you want to remind yourself about the book you have it there

@Emilio @ZenDog radical honesty think will be good also. Ordered them. Can t wait to read. Also a people pleaser. That s my case Too. No more mr nice guy and six pillars of self esteem, the Best books to this condotion till now. Books have helped me so much.

I m expecting the book.. Can t wait to read it.

trying to quit smoking permanently with meditation and allen carr. reread the book untill is seeded in my brain and subconcious mind

How to get over a guy: why Men cheat and disrespect women to the extreme. By Keith crawford. I was living in fantasy land, the grammer is not very good but the Information is priceless.

@charlie2dogs I agree with you. From my experience. Miserable love, like Leo called it. I wish to be at that level where I am happy with myself that I don't need another person. And the " Love" I had, it was all ego based. Feeding the ego, not the soul ..........

Love is respect. Respect for the self first and if you respect and love yourself trully you will respect and love others. If you respect yourself and know what you stand up for and what you Don t, you will not attract so much men that are no good for you.

I didn t mean it like that. When you are uncapable of being happy all by yourself and you re looking for a relationship to feel happy, is wrong from The beginning. But when you are happy, you have something going on, and The relationship you re in brings you down and makes you feel bad about yourself, it s Time to drop it. You really have to respect yourself and think more like a man. Us Girls GO with our feelings and that ain t always good. It s tricky with Men.

People pleasing is really serious problem and it's literally distroying my life. I've always been like this, I also had some moments of clarity, in the last year, not many, but I felt I could live in another way, more authentic and happy and at peace with myself. Also, I could see better what is really going on. Not having this fog over my eyes. What I found about this: No More Mr Nice Guy - describes this syndrome. internalized toxic shame creates depression. I think I've been depressed my whole life, without knowing it was depression Also, the Ego plays a major role in this disease Very low self esteem We are born totally dependend on others for fulfilling our needs. As, you grow you become independent. I've never felt independent emotionally. I am really easy to manipulate. I don't see it, but I feel it. I came to the conclusion after some experiences, that when something doesn't feel right, it isn't. I really cannot get myself out from situation, that I know are not good for me and go for what I really want. I feel powerless Do you have any adivice, or knowledge about this? Please help.

I'm doing now david mcgrow meditation - hypnosis, as I find it really hard to just sit and meditate. It's good.

I'm 24 right now. I know they expect me to marry and have children eventually. Even though they don't say it right now, I will feel the pressure in the near future. And I know they will see me as a failure if I don't. But do I want to get married and have kids? I don't know. Maybe I don't want. Maybe I want. I don't knowwwwww...I don't. Would I bring a child into the world, when I cannot take care of myself? When I'm not put together? Would I want a child to be miserable the way I was my whole life? Never. I used to think when I was a child, that I would grow up and have a guy and be happy. But I see that it doesn't works like this. And I'm starting to question what do I really want in life? Not my parents. But me, what do I want? What is right for me?

@Kelley White I m watching this.. and the root problem for me I think is Trying to please an unpleasable parent. Actually both of my parents. No matter how good I was, my success and acomplishments wasn't t acknowledged. And I did good in school, I have been number one at my final exams in school and highschool. But no matter how good I was, it could always be something more out there, it wasn't enough. I was a puppet for my parents egos I think. And I got the feeling that "Man, whatever I do, it's never good enough" why try anymore? And I kinda fell down, I went to university , I was somewhere in the middle with my grades, cause I didn t see the point at being top. I knew how was there, and it wasn't worth it. So I kinda fear success right now, and dwell in mediocrity. Cause I know as soon as I get a little success my parents hunger for more will be there. I don't want to feel that anymore.

Love it s suppose to make you happy , not sad. When it makes you sad, guilty leave. There is a good reason, maybe you Don t see it. Or maybe you see it, and still stay. Do your reserchs about your situation, make courage and leave.

I think it works if you do it daily. It has to do some good.

I m a 1

Well, this book can help anyone, male or female. It s no bullshit kind of book. It s tough, but oh man, so true. Even if the truth hurts. It has valuable information, the grammer as i said is not that good, but it gets to the core problem.

I find Leo's reputation "Godly" to be a little inappropriate, no offense. I mean he is great, love his work, and what his doing. Just sayin'

@JOEE This aspect kinda sets me back and makes me doubt self actualization, even though I also cherish it... I mean all this self actualization work to become a yogi ... and meditate for the rest of the life. I don't get it, it kinda sets me back. I mean, I think self actualization is great for us , it betters us, it improves us, so we can give back to the world. Kinda what Leo is doing now, sharing all this precious information with us. I get that's Leo's choice.