Ryan_047

@MochaSlap Because of my depression I can't get motivated at all,and unfortunately I have no time for gym.I saw all of the videos above but its hard to take action..and that's my problem.

The title says it all.So,yeah I know what we should try new things in order to find our passion,but..how do we know when we found it?Are there specific sings that occur when you truly you found your passion?How deep should we dig into a specific subject so we know it's the "chosen one"?Is there a specific plan that I need to follow in order to find it? Have you found your passion?If yes,please tell me the story of how you accomplished your search.What did you do? Also,it would be nice if every question I've asked above will receive answer:).

@MIA.RIVEL @Pelin Well,sounds logic that the passion should find me...But I fear that I will reach the age of 30 with a stupid job waiting for my passion to occur.@Eelco1981 told me to find my character strengths through a test..And I did that.I can write my autobiography too.But...how this stuff are going to help me?And what pattern really means in this context?

@MIA.RIVEL Thanks for your answer,it is inspiring.What things have you tried before?

@Eelco1981 Well I cannot do the course.I am 16 years old and ain't got money for that and I can't ask from my parents.I'm goana buy it when I'll have my first crappy job,lol.But,did that fire occured instantly or did you spent some Time on that specific subject?I am interested in hearing your journey,I really am.

So..like in any other topic that I have created on this site,I am going to write a lot.I hope it won't get boring. I've watched Leo's videos about school and I've got some few points that I want to talk about. 1.Leo said that the students need to study a lot in order to improve their work ethic,which will help them later in life.Learning should be pleasure because we,as human beings should know about the world.And the competition and the grades shouldn't motivate us,because they are like the politics of learning and represent external motivation. Sounds good so far.My problem,so to speak,is about learning as much as possible the things that we are taught in school.Why?In my country(and maybe,like in the most countries worldwide) the educational system throws tons of useless information towards its students.My subjects that I like are the following: math, coding, history, English(it's not my native language) psychology and physics.Why I need to learn the other subjects?I agree that we all need to know the basics in every subject,but not be forced to learn advanced chemistry,for example(in my case).I don't get to pick my classes... And let's face it...5 years after I will finish high school I won't remember not even half of the information that I learned at school,and I'm sure I won't be the only one.I noticed that I can trick myself to learn something that I normally hate,but this thought is frustrating.Use it or you'll lose it!And I'm sure that I won't use chemistry,literature in the future. 2.I don't know my life purpose yet...and because of that I can't get motivated,therefore I'm not motivated to improve my work ethic.To be honest,it's hard for me to get motivated at all.I'm not really sure what I want from life and this is frustrating..I can say that I want to know what I want,but I don't know how to find that out.And if I don't want nothing I can't get motivated,right?I've had emotional numbness for a long time and I cured(around 70%) with the help of meditation,affirmations,sport and socializing.After I saw really positive results I started to fall of track with meditation and affirmations.Even if I re-watch Leo's video about the benefits of meditation I still can't get motivated.. 3.Don't get me wrong,I'm not searching for excuses/complaining for not going to school.I've always got good grades and I'm an average student at least.But I've got some problems and questions...Give me reasons to study really hard!I don't see any relation between finding my life purpose and learning useless stuff(no,I'm not saying that everything in school is useless,but most of the informations are..If my life purpose would be to become a painter,would advanced chemistry biology economy help me?No!).I'm not even sure of what my passions are and school takes a lot of my time and therefore it's hard to find them out. In September I will enter 10th grade and I don't know what I want to do with my life yet.I want find my passions now and focus now on what I want to do!Are there any fellow students out here as well?If yes,I would love to hear your reasons for studying hard.I'm 16,if that counts for something..

I am struggling with finding my passion.Before going into my situation I would like to hear how you guys found your passion,and what was the path to it.I am really interested in hearing your stories,they might help me and others as well. First thing's first..I am 16 years old and I kinda know what I like and I don't like.The subjects that I like at school are math, coding(and many things that are in connection with computers),physics,English and German(not my native languages). I also like psychology very much and economics sounds interesting(not read so much about it).I like particular subjects regarding history,like the world wars,the cold war and the religious wars.And,sometimes I can get interested in the politics of my country. So...these are the things that I normally like.I thought so far that my passion is coding,but I don't really feel an big amount of pleasure while doing it.I mean,I like it very much(in fact,if I was to rank my hobbies,coding would be #1),but I don't feel "the drive" that people who found their passions describe.And to be honest,sometimes the process of learning coding gets frustrating,and I don't really see myself designing websites and programming robots for the rest of my life actually. There was a time in my life when I got really passionate about something.There was a online strategy game that I've played for nearly 2 years.I used to enter the game daily and think about it very much.What I liked so much about it,wasn't the game itself,but it was the fact that I was a member of an alliance and that I was an important person for the alliance I was part of.Getting into a little bit of detail..I was like a "co-leader"(no,the game isn't called Clash of Clans).I liked communicating with my members and teach them how to play.What I loved the most to do in the game,was to establish relations with other alliances,I was the "diplomat".I liked recruiting members in order to form new alliances and get control over a certain area of the map. I got to the point where I was respected by the most important leaders and by a lot of players(and I was only about 14 lol..and the average age for players in that game is somewhere around 20-40).This game was almost all the time in my head and got much ideas.I told this story in hope that somebody can relate to it,or give me some advice.By the way,please do not forget about the path towards finding your passion.

@Blaze35 Actually,when I was playing that strategy game that I've talked about I didn't had the egocentric mindset that you talked about. Basically there was a server with the European map incorporated and of course I've spawned into my country.When I spent some time thinking why I liked the game so much I realized that I didn't liked the game itself too much,what was motivating me to enter the game on a daily basis was my wish and desire for helping and making my country great.I also realized that I was thinking a lot about how the other countries on the map think and see us.Do they respect us?Do they fear us?I wanted to build a good team that can hold and defend my country. Just to know,in the real life my country is extremely corrupt,many of our people are easily brainwashed and many more problems..We have a really bad reputation in Europe,and unfortunately we deserve it.I always wanted to help my country in any way,and that's the meaning I attached to that game. So,basically you're telling that if I find an activity that I enjoy,and if I attach a meaning to it,that particular activity is going to become my passion?

I'm currently suffering from emotional flattening(or anhedonia) and I'm trying different techniques in order to recover.My answer is simple:When do emotions occur? I am asking this because I want to know when I have recovered properly.So,I want a big and detailed list of activities that cause emotions..for example:eating..When I eat ice cream I feel blank..or when I read I feel blank..anything from social activities to hobbies,eating etc.It can be negative stuff too. I would appreciate if I get many answers..This might sound like a stupid request,but I swear that I don't feel anything and I forgot how it is like to have emotions.For me,eating ice cream and eating eggs is the same thing.

@Salaam I find you answer very helpful,thank you.

@Ayla I don't see how I can understand that I'm not any of that or just let go of it...I barely feel emotions in extreme situations and even then they last for a second and they are not intense at all.I know the source of my numbness and I know that it is not helping me anymore(yes,it was helpful in a way in a certain period of time),I believe that I know everything about my current state,but I just don't know how to break free of it. So,you're telling me that I should not try to resist it?(your answer it's a little vague to me to be hones).I tried this approach but it's only making my state worse..I even started to have suicidal thoughts because of it.

@Ayla Well,I get your point and to be honest I can relate to it,but I don't think you understand what emotional numbness is and what I am trying to say...I am like a zombie,I'm not experiencing emotions at all.I'm not stupid,I know that I should feel emotions every now now and then,and I do not refer only to insignificant things like eating..I'm also refering to connections between people..I guess that at least that the feeling of connection and love for my mother ins't an "universal emotion",and I'm not experiencing even that.. No,nobody is shaping my emotions...You can google anhedonia if you really want to understand what I'm going through..I appreciate your answer,but please I beg you..tell me when do you feel emotions..You aren't a zombie like me,aren't you?

Hello! I am a 15 year old male teenager and I am living in a second world country.I have lost interest in everything and I feel like I have no feelings at all.Nothing has meaning to me and I can't find joy in absolutely nothing.And by nothing,I mean social interactions,hobbies,music,movies,games,school,reading and the list goes on and on.The things that I like(or at least,that I liked) now are so...empty,that's the best word that describes how I feel.Most of the time I feel neutral,or sad.Sometimes I feel like I can die just in the current moment,and I just wouldn't care,even though I haven't accomplished anything in my life. I've done a little bit of research on the internet and I have something called "Anhedonia".In short,it is the "inability to experience pleasure from activities usually found enjoyable",which is exactly how I feel.Be advised,I do not feel depressed(even though I think that anhedonia comes from depression).I was depressed for a period of time,but my depression is gone and now I feel like this.My goal was to become a web designer,make money,set an example for others,not to depend on my parents(from a financial point of view).And don't get me wrong,I really enjoyed coding but now..I enjoy nothing,and I have no desires.I would take the time to explain how I've got depressed,but according to the rules of this forum I should be as specific as possible.A last point:I can't go to a psychologist because my parents can't afford to pay one,and I don't really want them to find how I feel... I watch Leo's videos for a long time and some ideas that he's telling in his videos,normally it would blow my mind and I would be excited and motivated,but..it felt so neutral like I was listening to a boring subject.Sometimes when I am thinking about this I feel so angry and sad... I will turn 16 in a few days,and I feel sad because I know I should feel happy(by the way,I don't remember the last time I felt happy),but I just can't.I apologize if I wrote too much.

Hello there! I don't have any idea of what is wrong with me.First thing first's,I am not suffering from depression.To be honest I was suffering from depression and anhedonia for a good period of time,but now I am alright.Please don't make this kind of assumptions. So,my problem is that I don't want anything,I have no desires or wishes.I can't get inspired by anything and I tried a lot of methods in order to "wake me up".I watched a lot of Leo's videos,or other inspirational videos on YouTube and nothing.I even tried to imagine that I would die in a short period of time and still nothing.I feel like nothing can motivate me to do anything,and I repeat I am not suffering from depression or anhedonia. I am a 16 year old teenager that lives in a 2nd world country.I know for sure that in order to achieve something or to do something you need to want that thing very much.You need to wish for it.If this criteria isn't met we can't do amazing things.And it gets really frustrating for me because I can't find what I want out of my life.I mean,I don't wish for anything.I don't wish for money,a girlfriend,practicing my hobbies,finding passions,reading,helping other etc. I know that I should be doing something and not wasting my time,but I can't be productive if I don't know what I want to achieve(I feel like I don't want to achieve nothing).For example I started to learn coding.I was coding and coding for like 3 months and then I fell of track.Then I started learning how to edit videos..same result.I even started meditating,and fell of track(I had meditated for 2 months).Don't get me wrong,these are all activities that I enjoy(I haven't mentioned reading,studying psychology and math),but I can't practice them. Basiclly,I don't want nothing.I have a little problem with breathing,I am not willing to resolve even this problem.I searched for an answer to this problem on the internet and found that there are many other people like me.But no answer.Some other few points: I feel like my life is getting a little bit boring,and I get frustrated by school(many reasons,one of them being that is stopping me from practing my hobbies and teaching me a lot of useless stuff).

I'll cut straight to the subject...Should I always respect a concrete schedule when I am meditating and doing affirmations?For example I am meditating 20 minutes and doing affirmations 5 minutes per day.It would be alright if sometimes I meditate for 60 minutes and doing affirmations 15 minutes in a day,and the next day I respect the normal schedule? I am suffering from anhedonia(or emotional numbness).Do you think that this 2 techniques will heal me at some point?(I am also doing a writing exercise and sport in order to cure it).

@Kelley White I am sorry to hear that you are in pain.I wish I could help you,or even repay back the help you have given me.All I know is that Teal Swan has been in a similar situation as you,you might check her out,if you don't already know her.If I would feel again,I am sure that in this moment I would feel at least gratitude because you helped me...As Teal always says at the end of her episodes,have a good week.

@hi guys First of all,I can't say that I am very experienced in self-actualization,and I can't really give you some magical advice that will help you.But,I think that there are some things that I can help you with.By the way I am 16 years old. So...Why don't you like the people in your village?Please give more details.And you said that you know "a few people".So,there are more I guess.Maybe you don't like that "few" people,try to find others. Well,ok I understand that you can't go in town..but you can also socialize with people via internet,using Skype,Yahoo,Facebook.I guess your classmates might have accounts on the networks I have mentioned.Do you have any classmate that you like be around with?You can sleep at him/her some few days,it's vacation isn't it?And I don't really think that travelling by buss is that expensive. Socializing..This was something I was terrible at and that I still struggle with in some situations.But I would get in more depth here...Are you shy/introvert?Think about that.Watch Leo's videos about these subjects. About the temptation to play video games...Check out Leo's last video.And think and understand that video games won't make you fulfilled.Can't really help you on that,I am not having or had such a problem.Maybe some affirmations would work? Schoolwork...Well,I am not really motivated either to do schoolwork lol.But in my case is because of anhedonia(a type of depression,this is with what I am struggling).Realize that if you don't study you'll have no job,and therefore you won't be able to self-actualize and you will end up being miserable.You are not depressed as I,right?(hopefully you are not).If not,you can still find pleasure in things.Who knows?Maybe you will find pleasure in doing math exercises,coding,writing etc.I see that you are from Germany,be happy dude..your school system is awesome,I would with to have such a system in my country(I am from Romania,our school system peers with the african one).You don't have to endure what we are going trough. Well,I don't really know how helpfull I am,but talking to somebody about your problems really helps.If you don't find somebody else that can guide you better than me,I am willing to continue this conversation.

@Kelley White Hello:) We haven't spoke in a while.I am doing a little bit better from the last time we talked.I've found some things I can do in order to eliminate anhedonia,like meditating,affirmations,writing,sport and also eating foods that help increase my dopamine level..I hope this 5 things will help me,if not..I don't know what else I can do.If these are not working there won't be a reason for me to continue living... Anyways,I've got a request,if you don't mind.To be honest,I forget what things are enjoyable in day to day life.So,what I am asking you to do is to make list of what things cause you to have emotions.Like eating makes you feel blank,socializing makes you feel blank.I want to know how many emotions a normal person would feel during a day.Please include the nagative emotions as well.If you are willing to do this for me,please give me as many details as you can.

@MartineF I don't think that I've sent the message that I wanted to send properly with the quote you brought from me.I was meaning about the usual stuff people enjoy,the stuff that are in our DNA..like eating.Hopefully you are not depressed as I,so please answer me this question: Do you feel any pleasure when you eat?Like ice cream?Actually today I ate ice cream and I felt nothing.For me eating ice cream and eggs are the same thing. Also,I can give more examples like drinking,socializing etc.

@charlie2dogs Thanks.I went in more depth and I found out the root cause of my lack of wanting..it's called anhedonia(or emotioanl numbness),I created a topic on this,if you are curios.I can't believe I didn't realized this earlier.

Hello! A short question...How am I supposed to do affirmations?I should repeat the affirmation out loud,or I should repeat it in my head? I am suffering from emotional numbness,will affirmations work for me?

@oschi First of all,sorry for not responding.I didn't felt like I wanted to visit this website for a time(I don't know why I didn't want to actually).Why I should do this exercise?Please give me some details. I am doing 3 exercises each day..affirmations,meditation and also a writing exercise.And when I get the chance I do some sport.I am not really suicidal yet. If you don't mind,I would ask you to do something for me.During a day,how much emotions do you feel and how intense do you feel them?Can you describe which activities(social interactions,eating,listening music anything) make you feel emotions?If you are willing to answer this question for me,please give me as much details and examples as you can. Today I found out that my relative that is having cancer is better now...I couldn't feel any kind of emotion..no relief or happiness.

@oschi No,I did not took any drugs.Also I'm not smoking or consuming alcohol.Yeah,the 7th and 8th grade were tough times for me.Just to make an summary:My mother and father got sick in those 2 years,especially my father..he was about to die.Also in the 8th grade I had to pass 2 exams in order to reach 9th grade,it was very stressful for me.And there were other things that frustrated me...I remember that when I found out that my father got in hospital I didn't felt anything at all.Not worry,not fear,nothing.I don't know exactly when I became numb. Even though I can't feel,I act(naturally) like I feel them.For example,yesterday I was meditating and father entered my room and searched for something.I automatically said to myself, "I hate when this happens".And I can give more examples,you get the point. Good news for me...yesterday I felt an emotion.My father told me that my aunt has cancer.I can't describe or recreate the feeling I've got,but I know I've had it.It lasted for a second.So,I guess that meditation and affirmations will work..I hope.I also discovered an exercise designed to help people with anhedonia.I hope that I will see some progress..To be honest sometimes I think about commiting suicide if I can't get my emotions back.I mean,would there be a point living if I can't enjoy anything? What is worse about this "feeling" is that you don't even realize that you have it.You know when I found out that something was wrong with me?When I discovered Leo's channel.He was talking about so much stuff that normally would have inspired/motivate me.But I was like blank.I just didn't cared.I thought at the moment that I was just lazy or stupid.But for some reason I continued watching his videos...Soon I realized that I can't feel attraction/compassion or any other positive/negative emotion for any person that I know.Then I realized that I can't find joy in anything.Normally,coding,reading,running,playing games(and the list goes on and on) would have relaxed me(at least).I mean,if I can't find joy in these activities,where I can find it?? Sorry If I write to much..

@oschi I guess that you think that I am not really numb and that I imagine or something like this? Thanks for the response,it really helped me.So,you're not sure what's really happening to me,here's a video.This girl describe exactly how I feel. What does "introspection" means?Can you go in more depth please?I need all the weapons that I can get to fight my numbness..

@oschi Well,I admit I used to be like this until the 7th grade.I am not a nerd obsessed with video games and movies as you might imagine me.Have you read the forum carefully?I said that I like(or at least liked) coding and editing videos.That's all.That doesn't mean I am staying all day long in front of the computer.I can't call myself an introvert or an extrovert neither..I am somewhere in the middle.I am a normal teenager.And by the way,I seem normal to other people.I am not creepy or anything like it. Just to get this clear..When I have free time I am spending time with my friends OUTSIDE my house.And we are not just playing outside on the phone,we are moving our bodies..I would like to practice tennis but I can't afford.I'm not stupid...What you wrote above are just prejudices. I asked a simple question...Do I need to say the affirmations out loud or I can just say it in my mind.No need for other discussions.