improvementedward

Like the title says, I'm looking for tips from people on being disciplined towards sleep. I'm a really busy person and I'll find that I'll often sacrifice my sleep schedule to get a little more work done or to extend my social time. While this can help me to reach a deadline in the short term, I'm pretty certain that it's actually negatively affecting my performance over the long term. So it's a habit that I'm trying to fix, but it's proven more difficult than I thought it would be to really change towards this. There's always one last thing to get done, one more social event to go to, or some other distraction that keeps me from going to bed early enough. People who have good sleep habits, what are your tips in overcoming this? What's worked for you? I really appreciate your insight and advice in advance!

Mushrooms not LSD, but I had a really insightful trip by myself with just a pen, notepad, and music. I recommend being intentional about these thoughts (which it sounds like you are) and focusing on them as you come up. Write down any insights that you have on paper and try to capture it as best you can (but don't get wrapped around the axle with this, as some things just can't be put into words). I did the above and am really glad I did, because I have some great notes I can look back on now that really help me refocus when I start to drift in life.

This Psychedelics are a tool, and like anything can be used for pleasure or growth. It sounds like you might be leaning more towards using them for pleasure. And there is nothing wrong with that! But if you want to grow, I recommend dosing less and integrating more

I'm almost done with Nassim Taleb's Antifragile, and really appreciate the idea of not only surviving volatility/challenges, but actually getting better because of them. When you face challenges in life, what strategies do you use to benefit from them? How do you not only get through them but actively improve yourself and get closer to self-actualization because of them? Really interested in hearing your thoughts!

I just finished reading Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler and Jamie Wheal. It's all about the power of "ectasis"/finding flow. In particular, they define a "flow state" as any activity that is Selfless (ie dissolves the ego), Timeless (no sense of time), Effortless (it should feel effortless), and Rich (vivid and revealing). I've definitely found flow doing outdoor adventure sports like snowboarding and mountain biking. I'm trying to find some new ways to incorporate flow into my life though, especially throughout the day in normal situations. How do you find flow? What activities or mental states help you get into that zone? I'm really eager to hear some new ideas!

I really like this. To accomplish anything of merit, you need to be willing to do whatever it takes.

@Charlotte Thanks for sharing this. As someone who struggles with OCD/Anxiety this is really helpful.

I'm starting a business and have been working super long hours in pretty stressful situations, so I've been feeling a lot of anxiety and stress recently. I started doing the following routine for the past couple nights, and it's helped me decompress a TON: -Stop all work for the day no later than 7:30pm, preferably earlier, put the phone on do not disturb, and eat dinner. -Take a long, hot shower and just pay attention to how I'm feeling/what's worrying me/stressing me out. -Make a hot cup of chamomile tea, and process these stressors/anxieties by journaling. -Read a non-fiction book in bed. -Lights out with at least 8 hours of rest time before my alarm. What do you all do to decompress in the evenings? I'm always looking for new ideas that could potentially be more effective, so I would really appreciate any input! Thanks in advance

I would encourage you to just do something. It doesn't have to be big and grand, it can be as simple as cleaning your room or taking the trash out. But by doing something productive and good for yourself, you can build up from there and adjust your tactics/strategy as time goes on. I'll share a little story with you from my own life: I spiraled into a depression my senior year of college, and spent the next two years or so just getting worse and worse. I gained and lost two jobs, lost a great relationship of over two years, and ended up moving back to my parent's house and just stagnating. The depression hit its lowest point over these past holidays (2018). I was pretty hopeless and barely functional. After reading about the positive experiences other extremely depressed people have had with psychedelics, I decided to try them for myself and bought and took some mushrooms alone in my room at my parents house one Friday night in January. I had a life-changing trip in so many ways, but there is one lesson in particular that I think is especially applicable here. I went into my bathroom at one point during the trip. It was super messy and honestly kind of disgusting, and I wasn't happy with the way it was. I had a really simple insight at that moment - "If you don't like something in your life, just do something to change it." Now at this point, I hadn't done anything for months - I could barely get the motivation to get out of bed in the morning. But at that moment, I grabbed a roll of paper towels and some cleaner and just started cleaning my shower. Over the rest of the night, I finished cleaning my bathroom. Then I cleaned and organized my room over the weekend. Then I started noticing other areas of my life that I was unhappy with, and I started doing things to change those. Now, about 2.5 months later I've joined a copywriting firm and have started doing some freelancing work. and have even built a website and launched my first iteration of a product for my first business. And it all started with grabbing some paper towels and cleaning my shower. So I would say that you should just do something. Don't worry if it's the exact right thing to do, but just pick something small that you're unhappy with, and take a little bit of action to improve your situation in that facet of your life right now!

This is the only thing that worked for me. I was super depressed for years, did all the meditation/CBT/journaling/counseling/everything else under the sun. And I learned a lot of things on an intellectual level. But I didn't truly internalize the stuff I was learning about and the paradigm shifts I was trying to make until I took mushrooms.

I 100% agree with this. It's one thing to recognize that you have social anxiety because you care too much about what other people think, and to see that it's not a successful mindset. It's a completely different thing to actually internalize new beliefs around social anxiety, and the only way to solve that is to get the reps in.

@now is forever I've always wanted to get into yoga but never really did it. Maybe I'll give it a shot, thanks for the recommendation!

@Michael569 Thank you for the specific and detailed advice! I'll definitely start applying these action steps.

I struggled with this too. What's helped me has been working in a coffee shop several days a week and being intentional about being social/friendly there. Some other potential solutions I've thought of have been doing some volunteer work and renting a co-working space.

I've been into self-actualization for a few years now, and thought I might share some perspective that often seems to be pushed to the wayside. Specifically, I want to start a dialogue on the importance of having fun while actively seeking self-actualization. I used to think that having fun meant that I wasn't doing things right. In my mind, if I was having fun then I was "getting soft" and I "wasn't pushing myself hard enough." I felt that having fun and enjoying life were almost irresponsible. Flash forward a few years, and I'm absolutely miserable. I went through perhaps the worst depression of my life in 2018, and ended up losing a job along with a relatively serious long term relationship. At my worst around the New Year, I took some psychedelic mushrooms and I had a little bit of a breakthrough. I realized that I'm the one that controls my happiness. I can choose to be a grouch, or I can choose to make the most of every moment and have as much fun as I can every day! Since then, I've made a conscious effort to have as much fun as possible. I try to intentionally schedule activities that I know I enjoy, and I do my best to surround myself with fun people that lift me up. More importantly, I bring an attitude of playfulness to all that I do. I still workout, I still meditate, and I still get my work done. But I do my best to have fun while I'm doing it. The reason I'm bringing this up is because I think this is a common trap for people to fall into. It's easy to become too focused on things like eating perfectly healthy, exercising every day, taking cold showers, and meditating for hours while forgetting to just enjoy the simple things in life. But all the self-improvement in the world isn't worth it if you're a miserable stressed out grouch. So this is really just a friendly reminder to enjoy the journey. It's not about how many minutes you meditated today, or the number of carbs you eat. It's about actually improving your life and feeling good. How do you make life enjoyable for yourself? What tips and tricks do you use to have more fun?

@JohnnyBravo I really like the idea that seriousness is a disease on the planet. For me, it's more about perspective than anything too. It's not about staying out all night partying, but about the attitude you bring with you in your day to day life. It's just about enjoying the journey!

I agree that you're overthinking it. All of these questions are something only you can answer for yourself. I know it's cliche but just listen to your feelings. If it feels right, say it.

Agreed on what other people have said on facing fears, and taking action in spite of them. You are never going to get away from your fear completely. But the best way to make progress in that is to face them. It starts by facing the feeling of fear itself. If you're afraid of something, don't try to fight it. Just sit with the feelings in your body and show them compassion. Learn to embrace the discomfort of fear, and it won't have the same power over you. The second part of this is taking action on the things that you are afraid of anyway. Gradually exposing yourself to things like sales calls or talking to people in public can help you to make progress against your fears. You can start extremely small, but the key is to just keep chipping away at them. Fear is a very difficult emotion. I wish you the best of luck as you grapple with it.

I had a realization recently that the biggest thing that's been holding me back in life has been a big fear of discomfort. My natural reaction seems to be to run in the other direction when I'm faced with any type of discomfort, whether it's the discomfort of rejection, physical discomfort with working out, or the discomfort of trying something new and potentially failing. I've been focusing on really cultivating a bias to action recently and that's helped a ton. I've also been reframing my internal reaction to discomfort from "Holy shit, let's get away, this is horrible," to "fuck yeah, let's embrace this and go for it." And that's been helping too. I'm wondering if anyone has any other advice on overcoming this? What's worked for you? Are there any books in particular that you would recommend to help work through this? I really appreciate your responses in advance!

I second How to Win Friends and Influence People. What's holding you back with making friends though? Is it social anxiety? If that's the case, I recommend anything by Dr. Aziz Gazipura as well. Good luck!

I can relate. I think the solution to this is fostering a deep sense of inherent self-worth. I felt this way for years, and didn't start seeing improvement until I took a mushroom trip a few months ago where I realized at the core of my being that no matter what I did or failed to do, I was inherently worthy and valuable as a human being.

@BjarkeT I'll check out his work. Can't Hurt Me has been recommended from others as well! Thanks for the advice!

Like the title says, I'm struggling with mindfulness meditation. I've been doing a pretty good job of actually meditating every day, but feel like I haven't been making much progress with mindfulness itself. That is to say that I meditate, but it still seems like my mind is always wandering and I'm not really getting anything out of it. Has anyone else struggled with this? What's worked for you? Do you have any recommendations for something like a guided meditation? Right now, I aim to do at least 5 minutes of meditation per day (though I sometimes do more). When I meditate, I sit in a distraction-free environment, close my eyes, and focus on my breathing at the nostrils. When I feel my mind start to wander (which happens a lot), I gently turn my attention back to my breathing. Is there anything I could be doing better in my process? I really appreciate your responses in advance!

I've found that the faster I make decisions, generally, the better my decisions are. The more I trust myself and act quickly, the better decisions I make. Our bodies are basically biological computers and they are constantly computing things in our subconsciousness. By trusting your intuition, you're able to tap into all this computing power.

@dimitri Thanks for sharing the video and your perspective. That's a good point. Maybe I'm asking the wrong questions.