Derek White

I don’t do it anymore, I am busy like most adults. I need to be stress free and calm to do it. It needs mental energy. If I am exhausted from the days work, I won’t have the energy to control my dreams. There is an active component to lucid dreaming, normal dreaming is passive and more relaxing.

Okay, you should have specified that you mean women who work long hours. I don’t think anyone would want to with someone who doesn’t have time to spend with them. Also, it depends on what type of lawyer or a doctor you are, some don’t work that long.

A female Leo? Wouldn't that be someone like Emerald? I don't think Leo's a good example because his work is so inter-twined with his life. If you were his partner he would discuss his ideas with you I guess. Most people's work is not so inter-twined with their life. A good way to imagine would be a female teacher, realtor, or someone who has a 9-5 job or is a business owner. Jobs like that are different from what Leo does. Leo basically just shares his ideas with us.

Also, if you are a housewife with no work experience and no education, it's going to become very hard for you to leave your husband if the relationship doesn't work out. Your mind won't let you leave an abusive relationship because you would be dependent on your partner. Not focusing on your career is bad advice. Many career women have looks and femininity. The experience you get from having a career makes you a wiser and a more rounded person. I think career women are more interesting because of their career. You can combine your skills with a career woman and create something completely new. I know women who have post-secondary education who chose to remain housewives and women who are working, there is a visible difference between the maturity levels. You learn so much if you pursue your life purpose, you have to become a better person. Not to mention, a woman who's life purpose is only raising her children, counter-intuitively, creates a very toxic environment for them. Like Emerald said, you can't fill with an empty cup. I think many of the things that you value in a woman are very shallow and superficial. You may also be projecting your own values onto other men, just because 3-4 men on a niche forum agree on something doesn't mean all men agree with it. Many of the men on the forum want the woman to support them in their careers and life but don't want to support their female partners' career goals back. It seems you guys want a woman who makes you feel good when you come home and takes care of the kids. To me that's a bland person, and you know career women can do that anyway.

I must add an obvious point here, many working and middle class men and women do care about the financial status of their spouse simply because they value money. “Money doesn’t matter” is a childish notion, I don’t think it’s popular outside of this forum, money helps you afford a better life for your family.

I must add that women like success because it is an indicator of ownership. A guy who doesn't take ownership (weak guy) is a disaster for the woman. Weak men take more than what they give from the relationship. Weak men won't support their women in their ambitions, because they're lazy. Weak men don't have their own ambitions either, which leaves the woman helpless. Overall they are just a burden on the woman and the family, and the woman has to work double to sustain the relationship. Also, men have two games. 1st one is to have sex with as many women as possible, which is unconscious and only focuses on superficial attraction. 2nd one is finding a life partner. If you are playing the 2nd game, I recommend you find a woman who takes ownership. One of the best indicators of ownership is career success and profession. A woman that only focuses on children may initial seem like a good choice, but as Emerald pointed out, she puts a lot of pressure on children.

I think it would. Maybe it is just me. I value life purpose, being skilled and being somewhat ambitious. I think there are other men who share my POV. Men marry low but not THAT low. How many times have you seen a professional like a lawyer or an engineer marry a factory worker? I’ve seen doctors marry nurses but that’s usually as low as it gets. She might have to change her standards a little bit then. I would say she would be better off with a 200k than without it. Her finances would give her more options. According to me men do care somewhat about finances, you can do a survey on the forum asking “how much men care about the woman’s earnings in a long-term relationship, out of 10?” I think the response would be around 6 to 7 definitely not 1. 1 being doesn’t care at all.

I live in Canada, BC, here you gotta wear a mask only indoors and there are just normal restrictions like stay 2m apart and restrictions on businesses regarding customer counts. There are also grants and other aids you can apply to. Only 25+ (except indigenous people, they can register 18+) can register for COVID vaccines, but starting today 18+ can register as well. The vaccine rollout is not going too fast. Only 2.37% have received two-doses and 24.21% have received only one dose. I was born in India, and it seems it’s not going too well for India... They recently held a huge Hindu religious event (Kumbh Mela, you know, the one that can be seen from space) despite the pandemic, and they are having political rallies due to an up coming election in an important state. There is also a massive farmers protest going on since September of last year. Did I mention there is a new variant? All this under an almost fascist government. There is an oxygen shortage and people are selling cylinders on black market, and the healthcare system is at the breaking point. Edit: on 21 April, India recorded 300,000 COVID cases, breaking the world record for mast cases recorded in a single day, but experts say the number of real cases is 29-times higher than the official numbers.

People in Vancouver are so cliquey, most of the people in university are only friends with their high school buddies. People only hang out with their racial/ethnic groups too. Even in high school people were mostly friends with people from their own elementary school lol.

I’ll just reply to the original post, I haven’t read everything in the thread. There are many facets to this. It’s well documented that women prefer more successful guys. Firstly, personally I like women who are successful. The problem is other people will look down on me or the woman may feel insecure about me or think she’s doing me a favour. It’s the same problem with dating taller women, I don’t have a problem. Society makes you feel bad about it, you get ridiculed in public. These are thing I think about, unfortunately. There’s also this tendency to simplify this by saying, “men don’t care about success at all,” which is not true. A successful man is unlikely to marry a minimum wage worker. Men do care. If I had a sister I wouldn’t want her to be with someone who’s broke. Money gives you freedom, good lifestyle, pleasure, safety, statues, and so on. And a successful guy, if he worked the right way, is also likely to be a better human being (bitter pill). He will have intelligence, discipline, positive attitude, independence, inter-personal skills, stress management, etc. All these things are valuable outside of your career as well. She’s just securing her future. There also the aspect of our base biological survival desires, like picking the most powerful guy in a tribe for survival and safety. Likewise, if the base desire for men is to impregnate as many women, then they wouldn’t care about success of those women. I won’t get into it, it seems pretty obvious. I think it makes logical sense from an evolutionary biological standpoint why women do this. Also, there’s this mutual understanding that the women may be slightly less successful, but she makes up for that by the fact that she has to take care of the baby and house, and that the husband has to earn more because he doesn’t do those other things. This is more common with traditional couples. Idk, I wouldn’t say it hurts her chances if she’s successful, it narrows it down to men she may be interested in. I guess it has to with with base survival agendas.

Not currently, but I had the ability to lucid dream since I was a child. I would get bored of it and actually just try to have normal dreams.

Why don’t you go back to post-secondary education ? You are going to be working hard in a minimum wage job anyway, might as well put that time and effort in educating yourself. It also depends on your age and financial situation too of course. I would say don’t be afraid of taking a loan, you can pay it back once you finish your education. There are many programs which are two to three years long which you can do to get a decent job after. You can do a bachelor’s which then can help you get a job and open new opportunities. You can also study part-time. You should spend more time on university and college websites exploring these possibilities. While you are studying, you can also shadow or volunteer with the profession you want to go into, just to make sure it is what you want and get starting experience. You don’t have to be booksmart to do well in university. If you practice questions, memorize the pattern of questions, memorize important stuff, and put in the time and effort you can do it. This even works for arts courses, memorize the format of the essay and some general stuff, and then just practice writing. The people who get the highest grades are not the smarted, they just practice a lot and are self motivated. You’re probably putting more effort in your minimum wage job.

Hey guys, I messed up. I fell into a trap. I let go too much, got involved in spirituality too much at the expense of survival. Didn't balance letting go and staying focused. I tried to let go of everything, I was blissed out sometimes, but it was escapism and an ignorant approach. I was avoiding the pain of concentration. Took me a long time to get out of it intellectually and emotionally. Basically, I want to get a job now, any job, but I don't have any work or volunteer experience. I just have a high school diploma. Idk what to do now. What do I put on my resume? Should I go for more physically demanding jobs? Do I start by volunteering at random places and apply after some time? Or do I apply to a trades/diploma/certificate program? Any advice would be appreciated. (I live near Vancouver, CA) -DW

He resigned. The lady tried to resign but was fired instead. The point is we live in a stage green society where discussing these things in this manner can get you into a lot of trouble, like it or not. A transcript of the convo can be read here. The last few lines are pretty weird.

This makes her rant even more ridiculous. It doesn’t even affect her, yet she was so irritated. I don’t know for sure, but you can almost predict that the convo was going to go to “these blacks get in because of affirmative action and really shouldn’t be here!” Their mind naturally goes to that line of thinking, yet there can be so many other factors at play. If there was a black person there the conversation would have looked a lot different, and I think that’s a problem.

@Forestluv Do professors get penalized if their students don’t perform well? Of so how does it work?

There can also be other reasons why black students perform poorly other than racism or affirmative action in university. I listed some in my previous post and there probably more I haven’t listed. @Forestluv I feel bad for her but I think she should’ve known better. She is a law professor and social awareness and proper use of language are both at the centre of law...

Yea, and international students have to pay upwards of $100k and tuition is higher for out of state students as well, not to mention the hard-work it takes to get entrance into these institutions: getting a high GPA and volunteering and doing extracurricular activities simultaneously. I think being a professional means having a positive attitude at work. I don’t think she has a positive attitude. And it seems like she was gossiping about her students with her colleague. If she had a problem with black students she should’ve brought it up in a meeting in a professional way. Her tone of voice, her gestures and eyes, and her words all suggest she thinks of teaching as a burden. “I have a lot of angst”, “driving me crazy”; this sort of attitude is not tolerated at higher positions.

I think that’s it. It’s an attitude problem. There are 100s of highly qualified applicants waiting, if she is “annoyed” by low performing students perhaps she shouldn’t teach at one of the most prestigious law schools in USA. I think that’s the standard you should expect from these law schools. Just an aside, you may enjoy this clip of an Indian professor. See the teaching styles in different cultures. This ones good too.

The poor performance could also be because of other factors. -Maybe the campus is located in a white neighbourhood and most black students have long hours of commute to the university which may impact their learning. -It could be racism in the university. -Maybe the schools in black neighbourhood grade students differently, or are not rigorous enough compared to the ones in white neighbourhoods. -Wealth gap. Perhaps black students have to hold jobs after school. -It could be because the university enrolled black people just for the sake of enrolling black people. A problem in the selection process. We should not rule out this possibility. Idk if what she said is racist, I need to see the whole video, but she didn’t have to roll her eyes and be so hyper while saying it. As a law professor she should know the general mood of the country and act accordingly.

@Leo Gura Can you share your cooking methods for meat? Do you marinate it? How do you prepare it? I've been dealing with chronic fatigue for quite some time now, so I was thinking about introducing some meat in my diet too. I know very little about cooking meat, in fact eating meat and eggs is prohibited in the religion I grew up in and was generally looked down upon in the culture. My family only occasionally ate chicken, like once a month; we weren't religious. It is interesting to see different people's attitudes around the globe to meat eating.

Update: I got a part-time job at a superstore. I'm also planning to take a loan and study undergrad in nursing. Thanks for all the responses, they were all helpful.

@Forestluv

@Forestluv When I posted this exact video you locked my thread. Double standards much?

I think some of it is social conditioning for sure, but what about the biological aspects? Males can impregnate females with impunity, whereas pregnancy can be deadly for females. Therefore, females are more picky when finding partners. That's why females look for males who can protect them and will take care of their children. Which means they look for men who are above them in the social hierarchy, successful, and taller. I think we are focusing too much on femininity and masculinity or dominating and submissive. Most people are somewhere in the middle of these things. In reality, what men and women want is much more sober and grounded. Like women want someone who is taller than them, speaks their language, has similar political/religious beliefs, is an upstanding member of society, etc. these things are much more important than masculinity and femininity.