Derek White

Leo said in his latest video that protein powders are filled with heavy metals. I was getting into exercising and was thinking about using them for protein intake and weight gain. If you have any alternatives please let me know.

You must be soo fun to hang with…

Obviously people won’t like you if you’re upset with them. Like hello? Basically, they’re angry at you because they don’t think they did anything wrong and they think you’re overreacting. If someone doesn’t like my company I will leave them as well. I don’t want to be around people who are upset with me. If it’s some mistake, then I will let it go or apologize. If someone is upset by my ideas, my language or thing that are core to me, I will leave. Your friends don’t want to change the thing that made you upset. They don’t have a problem with that. They don’t want to change to make you happy. If you don’t like them then you should leave them.

The definition of masculinity is created by you. It’s all made up, it doesn’t exist outside of your mind, it’s a concept. Just be the best version of yourself, don’t try to fit into some masculine or feminine mold that’s set by society.

He’s blowing on the food not spitting. The fact you shared a video from a channel called “Rashtra Bhakt” shows what your stage is.

I meant real mystics, not stage blue priests. Maybe it's the stage blue culture or ancient observation, or both. Yea, we should not, but if people can lose interest in success, money, food, life purpose, family, etc. then it can happen with sex too. It's not far fetched, that's all I'm saying. @bejapuskas I've experienced something which coincides with my growing spiritual interest. Others have experienced something similar too. There can also be other reasons for it. Yea, I find it fascinating to think about how much of our sexual feelings we project (or simply put, how much of it is in our heads). It not like we see a vagina or a penis and feel sexual immediately. It depends on our identity, how we view the other person, and the situation. What Leo said about identities and constructs is relevant here. There are people on YouTube who are attracted to all kind of inanimate objects. If we can project "sexiness" on to inanimate objects, roles, and scenarios, I think we can do it to body parts too, like feet. This person is attracted to balloons: Rollercoaster: All kind of objects:

Even if there is a physiological component people have exaggerated it in their minds. It’s mostly in the mind. For some footfetishers feet are so important that without them they can’t get off. Why don’t they get off to their mom’s feet or men’s feet? And why only some people have it? That’s clearly in their minds. Just look at Ancient Chinese foot binding, liking that is definitely a construct. Just like in some countries big boobs and ass are seen as more desirable than in other countries. Losing interest in sex after becoming spiritual has been the experience of Sadhguru, Osho, and Krishnamurti. Around the world mystics and religious people are expected to be celibate.

@bejapuskas Another reason that I forgot to mention, is that as you become more spiritual your mind starts to deconstruct reality. Our mind projects sexiness on to situations. Things are not inherently romantic or sexy. You start to deconstruct that once you become more aware. So much of sex is in our minds. Now, I do have urges to masturbate, but I don’t sustain the construction beyond that point. That’s why I say I’m somewhere on the spectrum. This may be one of the biggest reasons. It’s the same way with life purpose. Leo talked about it in the Dangerous of Psychedelics episode. Life purpose is a construction, like sexiness. As you become more conscious by taking psychedelics, you will start to question and deconstruct your life purpose. That’s why it’s not recommended to take psychedelics if you want to focus on your career, as it will make you less productive. That episodes talks about the dangers of being spiritual in general. Preference for boobs, ass, BDSM, footfetish, height preference, MILFs, teens, dom/sub, roleplaying, scenarios, pizza boy, nurse, celebrity, lips, legs, thighs; finding all this sexy is a mental construction. Maybe something like heterosexuality is deeply coded so it’s harder to deconstruct, but a footfetish and a dom/sub fetish are easier to deconstruct. There’s also the intensity of the desire/construct. Maybe it’s enough intensity to make you masturbate but not enough to motivate you to have sex or approach random people. It also varies depending on the mood and day.

Yea. Some people assume that being slightly submissive means you are gay. As for being skinny, I meant I may be unhealthy (underweight) that's why my sex drive might be low.

I've never defined my value from sex, but that's not it. I am afraid it might be because of something negative. There can be many reasons. Growing up I didn't have a good relationship with women (except my mom and family members), I got into arguments and fights with them. The girls in my school didn't really like me either. I had very little female interaction in my life. So, I have this belief that I will never get along with women. I know it's bullshit because I've had positive interactions too, but it is in my subconscious mind still. Another reason could be that because I don't like dominant sex and behavior that's expected of men, I am not interested in getting into sexual relationships with women all together. I don't like being the one making moves, I think I may have a slightly submissive sexuality (like a women's) I'm afraid. I'm still straight though. Another reason could be, that I'm too introverted, lazy, and shy. Another reason could be, I am jaded by watching too much porn. Another reason may be that my hormones are messed up, I am kind of skinny and need to put on weight and start building muscle. These all seem like equally viable reasons to me.

As a man, I am suppose to approach her, seduce her, lead the conversation, and even in bed I am suppose to make her orgasm and please her. That seems like too much to do. Is that type of sex even fulfilling? When will women try to make me happy? Does not liking doing everything make me a submissive guy? Wouldn't it be sexier if women enthusiastically held your hand and try to please you? It would be way sexier if women lead. Do any other men feel that you are doing everything in dating and sex? I wonder if all this running around is worth it. Ultimately we get into relationships for fun and pleasure. IDK if it's worth it to do so much work and go through so much suffering to get a few drops of pleasure in they end. Like even the sex is catered to what she likes. Just get an average girlfriend that matches your interests and focus on other things like spirituality instead. That would give you more pleasure than this. At least this is how I feel.

I think I'm somewhere on the asexual and aromantic spectrum. I am not as sexual as other people. I was very sexual when I was 11-12 years old, but now in my early twenties I don't feel as horny.

Ummm... you can't tell how someone treats women by their Youtube persona. That's assumption.

I did, it's not very good. You're just assuming those things about him and about attraction. And assuming you're not assuming. No, women don't get attracted to niceness. Every guy knows this, and you thinking it does proves you don't know what you're talking about.

What makes you assume he treats women well and other guys don't? Actually a lot guys treat women well, haven't you met nerds in high school, but they don't get girls, jocks do. And how are you assuming his body count by looking at him? The assumptions episode is made for you. You haven't made much progress in understanding attraction. You are still getting offended and defensive just like the last time I checked.

Yes, that's why I watch Leo's content. It can't help you get major insights but it can help integrate those insights after the fact. Otherwise you could lose years of life.

If she cheats on you then break the relationship and let her go. What's the big deal? It wasn't meant to be. Be happy cause you dodged a bullet. You're not a bad person because someone cheated on you.

I am a skinny person. I have always been slightly underweight. I can eat whatever I want and however much I want and I won’t put on weight. If someone else ate like me they may get fat. My mom is fat and she eats less than what I eat. It has to do with genetics. Research different body types like ectomorphs, endomorphs, and mesomorphs and their variations. Evolution is more complicated than that. Have you seen marathon runners? It is advantageous to be able to run longer distances in the wild. You can out run your predators. And it’s also advantages to have flexibility. Just some examples. I don’t think you could do that if you were all muscle mass or obese. I think what’s happening here is that you are projecting your own liking for food on to others and labeling those who don’t like it as abnormal. No, not all skinny people are anorexic. I think you should start a thread about anorexia if you want to talk about that. And food is not pleasurable to everyone. I have never had pleasure eating. I don’t find sugary and fried food pleasurable. I find pleasure in spirituality, working out, and other activities. I once went without food for almost 2-3 days, I felt some hunger (minimal) and weakness but no cravings. Similarly I can ask you, do you find shitting and peeing pleasurable? It’s just a thing you do for survival. But why not? You are getting rid of unwanted waste from your body, it’s good for survival, it should be pleasurable!

I don't think so. Racism from your culture is definitely a factor and one that can be overcome. I grew up in India and I would see daily advertisements where a girl would get rejected from an interview and then put fairness cream to become whiter. She would go for the interview again and get the job because she was fairer. I would see men in ads getting rejected and after using fairness cream girls would start surrounding them. These are big international brands like L'Oreal, Garnier, and ponds, so they know what they are doing is racism. It leads to a lot of self-hate too. I was only able to overcome this bias in my teenage years when I came to North America. Recently they have made laws to ban such ads. This type of thing should be criticized and stopped. This sort of cultural programming is common in Asia and doesn't really exist in North America to my understanding so it is hard to relate to. I was so biased, I remember watching power rangers SPD as a child and thinking how can you make someone so dark a main lead (the red ranger was black)? But overtime I grew to like the character. I now understand how important deliberate representation is. Also, is there a preference for fat women in some parts of Africa? And don't they, in some places, find breasts not that appealing because women don't hide their breasts there. It goes to show how much control culture has on us.

Life is deeply unfair. Often times when you bring it up to people they deny it make themselves feel better and to motivate themselves, but that doesn't mean you feel depressed either. It's interesting that most people would agree that systemic-racism and inequality exists on the political sub-forum, but don't believe it when you mention it in the dating sub-forum. Just an observation. I think having preferences is fine but it shouldn't be culturally mandated. If your culture teaches you that dark skin is ugly then that's wrong but if you happen to have a preferences for some skin tone on your own then that's fine. Also, the black guy in the video was definitely not the hottest. I'm sure if they picked a more attractive black guy things would be different.

@FlyingLotus The last time I saw her was when she was spreading conspiracies regarding covid with Infinite Waters. Is she really that conscious? I don't think we should promote her videos on the forum. It may mislead many people.

How do you know things wouldn't have turned even better without Genghis Khan or colonization? What kind of logic is this? By the same logic I should come to your home and steal everything from you and make you earn it all over again, maybe that will make you a stronger person and we can call it progress. The point of the thread is to remember the genocide of natives, so that we don't repeat the same mistakes. Don't derail it by your "everything that ever happens is progress" rhetoric please.

I would take Leo's advice with some caveats. Leo is a YouTuber who earns money by presenting spiritual and self-help ideas to people. It makes sense for him to have a conceptual understanding and know about the big picture. He has a bias for conceptual understanding. It may not be necessary for people with normal jobs or people who don't care about teaching to know all this. I say you focus on applying what interests you, rather than trying to apply everything. If you give yourself infinite options nothing will ever get done. It can lead to a long rut, distractions and a lack of direction. After you spend some time mastering you narrow domain, you can find ways it relates to your core and segue onto other domains. This is actually an important thing to understand as misunderstanding this can lead to years of wasted time. I will make a post describing this phenomena later on the forum too. I don't think I explained myself properly here. Even if you take Leo as an example, he has narrowed himself to psychedelics for many years for spiritual growth. And overall he has narrowed himself to self-help and spirituality topics as well. He created a definitive narrow niche for himself. He has a specific style, language, and way of talking. He is not, for instance, a master of yoga or trying to master engineering or law as a career, his core is psychedelics and philosophy, which then opens doors for him to understand other spiritual domains.

@Raptorsin7 Has anyone transcended physical sexual attraction? I don't have any solutions for the collective, but for individuals like you and me, we can reduce the intensity of physical attraction if we focus more on God, spirituality, our life purpose, or our other passions. This has been my experience. There is definitely degrees to desires, and our hedonistic culture pushes us to be hyper-sexual, because they want us to watch porn and use this desire to make us watch movies and keep us addicted. Perhaps we will be so jaded by the abundance of sexual material in the future that we finally start looking at other factors when dating, that could be our way of transcending it.

Survival=suffering=unfairness=struggle=effort=limited=manipulation=bias=desires Men and women on the forum really need to contemplate what it means to be limited, and not just in the dating market. Think of all the people dying of hunger in developing countries. It is not about escaping suffering, it is about suffering more mindfully and eliminating the suffering that comes from illusion, as Leo put it beautifully in one of his vlog videos. Paradoxically, the more you try to run away from suffering, the more you suffer. We need more of this honestly from you Leo. Sometimes you try to paint a pretty picture about these things to make guys/gals feel better. Can I say one more thing? The girl you guys linked is surely attractive, but there are many girls like that. A large reason why she looks good is because of her clothing and the fact that she's from a rich part of the world where she can afford a healthy diet and a good gym. Given the opportunity and the resources, many girls can be just as hot as her.