Derek White

I thought I would share this video of Sadhguru supporting the religious extremist ideology Hindutva. This video really shows his cultural and religious bias, and more importantly his ignorance of history and politics. Look at the word he uses, "They have been trying to dismantle Hinduism for 1000s of years...", "What you call Hindu is the future of the world." The 'us' versus 'them' dynamic. It seems he thinks everyone is conspiring to overthrow his religion. Such paranoia, which will eventually spread among his followers. He is ignorant of so much outside of the narrow field of spirituality. It is not that surprising because in order for him to run his Yoga organization at such a big scale he has to be on the good side of the pro-Hindutva government. For some context: What is Hindutva? Hindutva is NOT Hinduism. In short, you can think of it as Hinduism's version of Islamism. Hindutva is a political ideology which is literally inspired by Nazism and Italian Fascism. The term was popularized by a man named Savarkar who was also involved in Gandhi's assassination. It also wants to turn India into a Hindu-Nation run by Hindu laws (sounds familiar right). Hindutva is not 1000s of years old as Sadhguru claims, it is barely 100 years old. This ideology is used to intimidate and spread hate against religious minorities, and is often espoused by politicians giving hate speeches against Muslims. It is inherently undemocratic and it a thread to not only religious minorities but to people's civil liberties, women's rights, religious freedoms, intellectuals, universities, free press and journalism, and much more. Hindu extremism has been a problem in India for a long time, leading to pogroms, riots, lynching, and discrimination; it has lead to the deaths of thousands of people in the past. I don't think Sadhguru knows any of this. What is "Dismantling Of Global Hinduism"? It is a name of a conference on Twitter by some American Academics who wish to put a stop to this hateful ideology and differentiate it from Hinduism. It seems Sadhguru knows nothing about them either, he heard "Dismantling... Hindutva" and immediately became defensive. Check out their website if you are interested: https://dismantlinghindutva.com/

Yea, I agree with this, we should be more holistic. It's not a deal breaker, but it's not attractive either. This kind of defeats your own argument. No offense. I don't hate women with high-body count. Nowhere have I called women with high-body counts names or derogatory terms or calling them immoral or evil. I don't want men to hate them, and I don't hate them either. I'm just sharing some of the fears average men have when they think about this issue. I also want the stigma to go away so people can be more honest about this. It's just a preference, nothing more than that. Lastly I just wanna say, most men don't want women who give sex away easily to be their wives. This kind of behavior goes against what's expected in a monogamous relationship. IMHO this is a legitimate fear. To say this is "insecurity" is like saying "Don't be insecure about your wife having sex with other dudes. She loves you bro! Let her have sex, she'll come back to you, Why so insecure?" It's too much to expect from men. And to clarify: If you are a man with a high body count, it is hypocrisy to expect a low-body count from women. If you are an older man in his 30s or 40s, it is unreasonable to expect a very low-body count from women. Obviously, look at the situation holistically.

Leo said in his latest video that protein powders are filled with heavy metals. I was getting into exercising and was thinking about using them for protein intake and weight gain. If you have any alternatives please let me know.

Ask any woman in her late 30s, it gets harder. Yea, it's easy to find a husband, but not the man of your dream, not the best you could have had. At least you agree that too many LTR cause trauma, like it did with your friend. When a guy pretends to like a woman, has sex with her, and then ghosts her, it causes psychological scars. Playboys/PUAs hurt women too, ask any woman. Maybe you don't think so because you are one. It's not just that, guys want to feel special too and relationships lose their spark when it's like your 30th time. How are you gonna form a bond after that? I'm not shaming women for having sex. It's a free world, do whatever you want, just know that people are going to have preferences. It's just my preference, it's actually good for men if women are having tons of sex with different guys. And many women have this preference for low body count in men too. About developed/underdeveloped : This is the problem with using Spiral Dynamics everywhere. It's just one perspective. Majority of men around the world (most of Asia, most of Africa, many countries in Eastern Europe, Russia, China, India, etc. and even in NA) have preference for low-body count. That's majority of men. It seems according to your worldview there's nothing to learn from them. You look down upon these people. Everywhere people are underdeveloped except for your little ideological corner in North America. Except it's not true. People are sad AF in these "developed" places. Yes, there are things they do better, but it's not relationships. Anxiety and depression are at an all times high in these places. People get into pointless relationships that don't go past the lust phase. People are materialistic AF. Seniors are lonely and have no attachment to their children and partners. Often times there are no partners, because they got a divorce. They are just dying on the bed no one to look after them except for a nurse sent by the government. Yea, these traditional cultures have their problems. They are not perfect, I will be the first one to point those out. But these developed places are not the epitome of relationships or a healthy society either. The solution is in balancing the traditional with the modern.

Go talk to guys outside of your ideological bubble. This is the mainstream male perspective. Most men don't want women with high body counts as wives. If it didn't matter women wouldn't hide it and "slut" wouldn't be a derogatory term. Many women are in relationships with men they can't get sexually aroused from. What I said applies to people who want a family. It becomes harder for women in their late 30s to find a good husband. A woman in her 30s who is successful will not marry a man who is less successful than her. Women don't marry down. The men she wants to marry may want women in their late 20s who are not as career driven. Late 30s is not a good age for women to seek a husband. They have much more bargaining power in their mid and late 20s. Even if they don't marry low-value men as you said, the single-cat-lady ending isn't much of a happy ending either. Basically it fucks up their standards for men. A man who would have been a good husband seems mediocre because he has to compete with the best qualities of all those previous men.

Speaking from men's perspective, of course it matters if you are interested in marriage. It matters to most men whether you like it or not. Most men intuitively don't want their wife to have slept with 20-30 guys before them. It's an instant dislike. I always say look at it from a case to case basis, but men will judge you for it. Here are the reasons why: She going to compare you to all her exes, "he was better in bed", "he was richer", "he was more romantic", etc. She going to be jaded and bring her trauma to this new relationship. She may feel scared to love you fully, because she is more careful now, because some playboy scarred her. There is a risk of cheating and divorce, how do I know I'm not just another number for her? What if her previous pattern of relationships continues? is she even interested in a long-term relationship? If she has hooked up with a bunch of guys, sex is probably more important to her than other qualities. So as you get old and ugly or finds a hooter guy... maybe she doesn't want to be in the relationship. Many high-value men will have sex with women who are lower in value than them. But these men will never commit to them. What it leads to is low-value women thinking they deserve high-value men as life-partners, just because they were able to have sex with them. So these women will settle for a low-value man because their biological clock is running out, but in reality they don't respect you or find you attractive. This will cause problems in your relationship. Men want to feel special too. If a woman has already been with many guys that just makes us feel not special. Having been in many relationships makes you jaded. "Been there, done that" attitude. Your 30th relationship is going to feel much less special, than your 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. Women should know that men will always judge you based on your body count. No one wants to deal with that trauma. Women who sleep around, their standards are all messed up. Women need to realize a high-value man will fuck you and leave you. And then you will be under the illusion that a high-value man will commit to you, when in reality even an average guy won’t commit to you. You won’t feel attractive to a low-value guy afterwards. Even if you marry one, he’s gonna feel your lack of attraction towards him. For women it’s not about about how many guys you can have sex with, it’s about how many high-value guys will commit to you. That expectations is probably too much to ask for in North America. But in other parts of the world like South Asia, South East Asia, Eastern Europe, etc. this is not unheard of. It's not limited to Arabia or Afghanistan alone and no, it's not always because parents forced them. It's simply the culture there and causal sex and hook ups are looked down upon by younger men and women too. This is probably true for most people in the world, most people don't have the same luxuries you have in the West. If you don't have problem raising someone else's kid then it's fine. But can't you see how some men are justified in not wanting to do that? It should be pretty obvious. How many women would marry single fathers? Not many I suppose. Here's what men think: When women have kids, their attention turns towards them more. The husband becomes a second priority. Rehashing my previous point, trauma and feeling jaded from previous relationships and partners. What if you don't want kids? Or plan on having them later in life? Do you want to deal with "You're not my father!", " You're not his dad!" BS in your relationship. The relationship with the child will always be rocky.

You must be soo fun to hang with…

Obviously people won’t like you if you’re upset with them. Like hello? Basically, they’re angry at you because they don’t think they did anything wrong and they think you’re overreacting. If someone doesn’t like my company I will leave them as well. I don’t want to be around people who are upset with me. If it’s some mistake, then I will let it go or apologize. If someone is upset by my ideas, my language or thing that are core to me, I will leave. Your friends don’t want to change the thing that made you upset. They don’t have a problem with that. They don’t want to change to make you happy. If you don’t like them then you should leave them.

The definition of masculinity is created by you. It’s all made up, it doesn’t exist outside of your mind, it’s a concept. Just be the best version of yourself, don’t try to fit into some masculine or feminine mold that’s set by society.

He’s blowing on the food not spitting. The fact you shared a video from a channel called “Rashtra Bhakt” shows what your stage is.

I meant real mystics, not stage blue priests. Maybe it's the stage blue culture or ancient observation, or both. Yea, we should not, but if people can lose interest in success, money, food, life purpose, family, etc. then it can happen with sex too. It's not far fetched, that's all I'm saying. @bejapuskas I've experienced something which coincides with my growing spiritual interest. Others have experienced something similar too. There can also be other reasons for it. Yea, I find it fascinating to think about how much of our sexual feelings we project (or simply put, how much of it is in our heads). It not like we see a vagina or a penis and feel sexual immediately. It depends on our identity, how we view the other person, and the situation. What Leo said about identities and constructs is relevant here. There are people on YouTube who are attracted to all kind of inanimate objects. If we can project "sexiness" on to inanimate objects, roles, and scenarios, I think we can do it to body parts too, like feet. This person is attracted to balloons: Rollercoaster: All kind of objects:

Even if there is a physiological component people have exaggerated it in their minds. It’s mostly in the mind. For some footfetishers feet are so important that without them they can’t get off. Why don’t they get off to their mom’s feet or men’s feet? And why only some people have it? That’s clearly in their minds. Just look at Ancient Chinese foot binding, liking that is definitely a construct. Just like in some countries big boobs and ass are seen as more desirable than in other countries. Losing interest in sex after becoming spiritual has been the experience of Sadhguru, Osho, and Krishnamurti. Around the world mystics and religious people are expected to be celibate.

@bejapuskas Another reason that I forgot to mention, is that as you become more spiritual your mind starts to deconstruct reality. Our mind projects sexiness on to situations. Things are not inherently romantic or sexy. You start to deconstruct that once you become more aware. So much of sex is in our minds. Now, I do have urges to masturbate, but I don’t sustain the construction beyond that point. That’s why I say I’m somewhere on the spectrum. This may be one of the biggest reasons. It’s the same way with life purpose. Leo talked about it in the Dangerous of Psychedelics episode. Life purpose is a construction, like sexiness. As you become more conscious by taking psychedelics, you will start to question and deconstruct your life purpose. That’s why it’s not recommended to take psychedelics if you want to focus on your career, as it will make you less productive. That episodes talks about the dangers of being spiritual in general. Preference for boobs, ass, BDSM, footfetish, height preference, MILFs, teens, dom/sub, roleplaying, scenarios, pizza boy, nurse, celebrity, lips, legs, thighs; finding all this sexy is a mental construction. Maybe something like heterosexuality is deeply coded so it’s harder to deconstruct, but a footfetish and a dom/sub fetish are easier to deconstruct. There’s also the intensity of the desire/construct. Maybe it’s enough intensity to make you masturbate but not enough to motivate you to have sex or approach random people. It also varies depending on the mood and day.

Yea. Some people assume that being slightly submissive means you are gay. As for being skinny, I meant I may be unhealthy (underweight) that's why my sex drive might be low.

I've never defined my value from sex, but that's not it. I am afraid it might be because of something negative. There can be many reasons. Growing up I didn't have a good relationship with women (except my mom and family members), I got into arguments and fights with them. The girls in my school didn't really like me either. I had very little female interaction in my life. So, I have this belief that I will never get along with women. I know it's bullshit because I've had positive interactions too, but it is in my subconscious mind still. Another reason could be that because I don't like dominant sex and behavior that's expected of men, I am not interested in getting into sexual relationships with women all together. I don't like being the one making moves, I think I may have a slightly submissive sexuality (like a women's) I'm afraid. I'm still straight though. Another reason could be, that I'm too introverted, lazy, and shy. Another reason could be, I am jaded by watching too much porn. Another reason may be that my hormones are messed up, I am kind of skinny and need to put on weight and start building muscle. These all seem like equally viable reasons to me.

As a man, I am suppose to approach her, seduce her, lead the conversation, and even in bed I am suppose to make her orgasm and please her. That seems like too much to do. Is that type of sex even fulfilling? When will women try to make me happy? Does not liking doing everything make me a submissive guy? Wouldn't it be sexier if women enthusiastically held your hand and try to please you? It would be way sexier if women lead. Do any other men feel that you are doing everything in dating and sex? I wonder if all this running around is worth it. Ultimately we get into relationships for fun and pleasure. IDK if it's worth it to do so much work and go through so much suffering to get a few drops of pleasure in they end. Like even the sex is catered to what she likes. Just get an average girlfriend that matches your interests and focus on other things like spirituality instead. That would give you more pleasure than this. At least this is how I feel.

I think I'm somewhere on the asexual and aromantic spectrum. I am not as sexual as other people. I was very sexual when I was 11-12 years old, but now in my early twenties I don't feel as horny.

Ummm... you can't tell how someone treats women by their Youtube persona. That's assumption.

I did, it's not very good. You're just assuming those things about him and about attraction. And assuming you're not assuming. No, women don't get attracted to niceness. Every guy knows this, and you thinking it does proves you don't know what you're talking about.

What makes you assume he treats women well and other guys don't? Actually a lot guys treat women well, haven't you met nerds in high school, but they don't get girls, jocks do. And how are you assuming his body count by looking at him? The assumptions episode is made for you. You haven't made much progress in understanding attraction. You are still getting offended and defensive just like the last time I checked.

Yes, that's why I watch Leo's content. It can't help you get major insights but it can help integrate those insights after the fact. Otherwise you could lose years of life.

If she cheats on you then break the relationship and let her go. What's the big deal? It wasn't meant to be. Be happy cause you dodged a bullet. You're not a bad person because someone cheated on you.

I am a skinny person. I have always been slightly underweight. I can eat whatever I want and however much I want and I won’t put on weight. If someone else ate like me they may get fat. My mom is fat and she eats less than what I eat. It has to do with genetics. Research different body types like ectomorphs, endomorphs, and mesomorphs and their variations. Evolution is more complicated than that. Have you seen marathon runners? It is advantageous to be able to run longer distances in the wild. You can out run your predators. And it’s also advantages to have flexibility. Just some examples. I don’t think you could do that if you were all muscle mass or obese. I think what’s happening here is that you are projecting your own liking for food on to others and labeling those who don’t like it as abnormal. No, not all skinny people are anorexic. I think you should start a thread about anorexia if you want to talk about that. And food is not pleasurable to everyone. I have never had pleasure eating. I don’t find sugary and fried food pleasurable. I find pleasure in spirituality, working out, and other activities. I once went without food for almost 2-3 days, I felt some hunger (minimal) and weakness but no cravings. Similarly I can ask you, do you find shitting and peeing pleasurable? It’s just a thing you do for survival. But why not? You are getting rid of unwanted waste from your body, it’s good for survival, it should be pleasurable!

I don't think so. Racism from your culture is definitely a factor and one that can be overcome. I grew up in India and I would see daily advertisements where a girl would get rejected from an interview and then put fairness cream to become whiter. She would go for the interview again and get the job because she was fairer. I would see men in ads getting rejected and after using fairness cream girls would start surrounding them. These are big international brands like L'Oreal, Garnier, and ponds, so they know what they are doing is racism. It leads to a lot of self-hate too. I was only able to overcome this bias in my teenage years when I came to North America. Recently they have made laws to ban such ads. This type of thing should be criticized and stopped. This sort of cultural programming is common in Asia and doesn't really exist in North America to my understanding so it is hard to relate to. I was so biased, I remember watching power rangers SPD as a child and thinking how can you make someone so dark a main lead (the red ranger was black)? But overtime I grew to like the character. I now understand how important deliberate representation is. Also, is there a preference for fat women in some parts of Africa? And don't they, in some places, find breasts not that appealing because women don't hide their breasts there. It goes to show how much control culture has on us.

Life is deeply unfair. Often times when you bring it up to people they deny it make themselves feel better and to motivate themselves, but that doesn't mean you feel depressed either. It's interesting that most people would agree that systemic-racism and inequality exists on the political sub-forum, but don't believe it when you mention it in the dating sub-forum. Just an observation. I think having preferences is fine but it shouldn't be culturally mandated. If your culture teaches you that dark skin is ugly then that's wrong but if you happen to have a preferences for some skin tone on your own then that's fine. Also, the black guy in the video was definitely not the hottest. I'm sure if they picked a more attractive black guy things would be different.