Derek White

@Leo Gura Earlier you said masculinity is imposing one’s will on the world. Would you then say that masculinity is devilry? Since imposing one’s will means to manipulate the world into being a certain way, freezing it, and defending and attacking other forms. Is masculinity = survival = devilry?

@electroBeam A few days ago I was at a library and this woman took off her shoes. I was so turned on by her feet that I ended up reading erotic entries on Quora for the entire study period (it’s a library, you can’t watch porn). After that I was turned on for like the next 12 hours. @Leo Gura Have you actually tried to reduce your sex drive?

@EmeraldYou can say the same for men. Why do you tolerate sexism from women and not men? It is the meanest thing you can say to a man as a woman, other than falsely accusing him of a crime. Calling them sexists makes them defend their position more, I would say you can almost guarantee he will never change his position, now that you have said he’s a sexist. If you want to change their minds try to give counter arguments. I think there are two groups here, one believe relationships are selfless and without manipulation, and the other believes manipulation and selfishness from both sides are necessary parts of relationships. Emotion vs. Logic. The truth is somewhere is the middle here but we need to understand the perspectives on both sides and criticize them. This will involve a negative reaction from both of them. I personally lean a bit to the logic side, but hey that’s just me.

@Anna1 Sorry to post again, but while I hear your complaints against men, I have come across similar stereotyping from women. One literally read, “Men are always shallow, they go for looks.” As a man who doesn’t date women for sex, IMO men can have purely sex based relationships ethically and without breaking women’s hearts. I don’t think learning to present yourself well (which I think is PUA) so that women like you is any more manipulative than wearing makeup or good clothes. Hope these opinions are not too controversial.

@Anna1, @Emerald is not the only psychoanalyst here. One user has previously diagnosed another as having a mental illness and another as having the Dunning Kruger effect. They have also somehow read people’s “vibes” or “energies”. They never responded to the original points though, which shifted the conversation and some good points were lost ☹️ Users should attack people’s points not their personalities. There should be consequences for mean spirited sarky comments and those who attack people’s character. People should try to be as neutral, objective, and logical in their responses as possible (like a professional email). If someone is wrong tell them why they are wrong by proving counter arguments. Calling them “sexist”, “arrogant”, telling them how you feel or leaving a sarcastic comment just makes them more defensive.

Idk if they are attracted to sociopaths, because sociopaths are the type of people who shoot up schools. They are psychopaths but without the charm. I think the word you were looking for is psychopath. Narcissists are attracted to shallow personality and physical traits like money, muscles, cars, beauty, etc. I made a post about this topic you might want to check it: She has made a video explaining the difference and similarities between psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists, so look for that. My favourite technique to avoid narcissism from her is the grey rock.

Yes! I want to see a video about this! Maybe he can combine red and purple into one.

Looks like stage blue people forcing Trump to pass these rules. Is there a women in hijab behind him? Also, I find the inaccurate map on his desk hilarious. Christians feeling like victims in USA. And they they say the left wingers are victims.

Yes!!!! hahah

How would you deal with it, practically? Any techniques or tips? (I don't have bully problems) I think I should clarify a few things. By bullying I mean when 'you' are forced to do something against 'your will'. I know people might spin this around spiritually because what is 'you' and 'I' and 'will' and 'bullying' is arbitrary. I am asking for your typical, classic bullying, and practical solutions for it. I know some of you are going to say 'oh just learn martial arts' but what if you are disabled or weak? what if the bullies are in a group? Also, what about emotional bulling? Think about these too when answering.

@bazera I'm Indian and I know your pain.

@Leo Gura That's hilarious.

@Keyhole I mean you’re the one who called me arrogant and interpreted my sigh in such a negative way. I never called you any names... was just trying to share my opinion.

@Keyhole sigh because you don’t understand what I wrote. So much judgement because of a sigh. Sigh.

I am not vouching for having no needs or expectations. Sigh You need to make an appealing offer. If you straight face say these, no one will come close to you. That’s vomiting and doesn’t work in real life. You can still have clear boundaries, it about how you communicate and enforce them. It the difference between going up to her and saying “I wanna fuck you” and making it clear you’re in the mood through other means. Edit: I wanna make a further point about authenticity. We are so far removed from authenticity we don’t even know what our real desires are. Women say they are not wearing to impress people but the reality is they have internalized so much inauthenticity. If they were honest most won’t wear high heels or lipstick, they would wear what's comfortable and act comfortably. They do this because they want others to recognize their worth, so they can get something in return. In other words manipulating other’s perception to get something from them. They deny it because their not conscious they are doing it. That is what men and women do. Relationships in a nutshell. Tadaa!

How do you have self-hate if you don’t have a sense of self? You have a sense of self. Seems like you are very confused. Take some time to clear your mind. Stop with the numerology BS and bust any other limiting beliefs you have including sexual ones.

@Meetjoeblack Honesty whatever you have said makes zero sense. It just makes navigating this thread harder.

Expecting your husband to not beat you up is selfishness but you need that in a relationship. Again, confusing love with Love.

Yes! Preach! @Etherial Cat You are mistaking Love and love. Relationships are not about Love. That’s why I’m against using sappy words like these. @Leo Gura Why do you use words like Devilry, Love, and God? This causes so much confusion in people. I feel if you used more technical words people would be less confused. You still have needs and expectations from the other person and you clearly get mad when they try to hide it from you. That is a form of self-bias and inauthenticity. If you were authentic you would accept the other person the way they are and not crib about it. Having needs and expectations is wanting reality to be otherwise. If you were truly authentic you would have none of these things. Authenticity goes deeper than what we hear are discussing. Yours and your partner’s thoughts, intentions, and needs keep changing, they are all in flux and you are not even aware of these things. We must look at what relationships really are, a series of give and takes.

I think the key mistake here is that you think going to a therapist will make you better communicator. Therapist won’t teach you how to communicate, it might make you a good person. Men and women need to learn how to talk to each other. It doesn’t happen automatic. They have different communication styles. For example: Imo, men insult each but don’t mean it, whereas women compliment each other but don’t mean it. If you are a man and talk to women like you talk to your high school buddies she will feel offended and you might even be in trouble. If women behave too nicely with the men, they might get wrong ideas about her intentions. As a general rule men should be nicer when talking to women and women should be more assertive and straightforward when talking to men. A therapist won’t give you these insights into communication. If using the right words to get the message across so that the other person is more likely to accept your message is manipulation then I’m okay with it.

@Leo Gura Yes, I think people (disproportionately women) are too wrapped up in ideals of what a relationship should look like and they don’t see the reality of the situation. @Keyhole I think pick up artistry and personal development collide into each other. If you are not vomiting whatever comes to your mind, then you are doing a form of pick up artistry whether you know it or not. If you don’t like the word PUA we can call it communication skills. Yes, you can do harm to others with PUA. But that’s true with any (communication) skill.

I don’t get what’s so wrong about learning how to communicate better, learning humour, tricks to communicate, improving your personality, and dressing better? If you think this is fake then women who wear hot dressed and makeup are fake too... Authenticity doesn’t mean you vomit everything that comes in your mind without any filters.

@Aaron p does it hurt? Burning sensations and cold sensations can feel similar at times. Do you have thyroid, horse voice, or any other throat related issue?

Throughout my life, whenever I try to do anything that involves suppressing myself or forcing myself to concentrate to do a certain task I feel discomfort right below and around the Adam’s apple in my throat. Does anybody here share the same feeling in the throat when they are doing something where they have to maintain a level of concentration? Or when suppressing emotions? Being consistent on everyday living? How do I avoid this and continue to be effective in everyday life? What is this feeling? It doesn’t feel ‘good’? Any information and/or experience would be appreciated.

@Bazooka Jesus I have the same problem. The lump gets so severe sometimes that it starts generating heat which goes up to my ears and I get headaches because of the discomfort. This usually starts happening when: - I’m working, concentrating, focusing, studying or doing anything that can be deemed “hard-work” I have to do hard work to sustain myself like most people. Also when I try to change the homeostasis (default position) of my life this happens. - Suppressing emotions. Like you said when you’re crying. Basically whenever I try to put effort into anything or do anything difficult or hard my throat starts hurting ?. It feels like suppressing (“suck it up” attitude) and bad stuff happens when people suppress. Somebody please provide some insights into this.