Derek White

@Matt23 Idk if someone of the examples you gave are red. Being emotionally charged is not something exclusive to red, it's something tier 1 stages do. I haven't seen the movie you mentioned so I can't comment on that. I'll try to see if I can find a healthy red. Burger king one seems green and the marine corps seems blue. Ya, blue uses conformism and morality to handle red.

Maybe a healthy red would be someone who doesn't take abuse from anyone. Someone who's independent, does what he wants type of a person. Because purple is conformist so red is a reaction to the negatives of conformist purple.

Good Job! Usually family members can see the masks we wear.

I agree with you title that romantic love as society tells is false. We should look at how we actually conduct relationships and not what movies tell us. I think there is more to humans than survival alone. Granted, most of our relationships are selfish and based on mutual survival. But our relationships are not as survival oriented as animals'. Outside of relationships, we are doing things which are counter-intuitive to our survival. In a way spirituality is about being less like animals, less survival oriented and more human, more free. What we are doing here is anti-survival. Just being aware of survival is itself anti-survival and should be a clue that there is something beyond survival. As we become less and less survival oriented, the way we relate with the universe and the 'objects', 'people', 'you' and 'I' in it becomes more romantic. It's not what you see on TV. It doesn't even mean that you start treating the other person nicely, that's such a social and psychological thing. True Romantic Love would be when you transcend survival completely.

Hey guys, I wonder what facts older and more experienced actualizers have realized and would tell their younger self. This is mostly for 30+ folks but others can participate. Some time back I came across this video which asked Reddit users what are some cold-hard fact about life. I thought it had good advice so I decided to ask a similar question here.

@Sahil Pandit I remember you replied to my post about no-mind from April 2019. It seems you have grown a lot since then. Keep it up! Good Luck!

@Leo Gura Is drunk sex even consensual? In school they taught me to not have sex while someone is drunk.

@Serotoninluv Qualification is relative but we can all more all less agree on it. Most people would agree having consistent good grades, interests, and hobbies makes for a good university application. I can understand the university considering knowing more languages and coming from a poor home an asset in your application. Knowing more than one language is a sign of intelligence and growing up in a poor home and applying to university is a sign of dedication. But I don't understand how being from an underrepresented group is advantageous and why is your university targeting such groups? Could you explain that? This could potentially lower the standards of the university. A better way of helping them would be to increase the funding of their schools. I was reading an article which was a transcript of an interview with Paul Tough, author of the bestseller The Year Which Matter The Most: How College Makes or Breaks Us. He was asked about how US private colleges are in red and are offering massive tuition discounts and how only 11% pay the full freight. He said most institutes, except the top ones, need tuition money to operate, students who don't have particularity good grades but have enough family money to pay full tuition are sought after. They also hire out of state students for the same reason. Idk if scholarships but this is what the article said. So maybe your university is targeting underrepresented and under-prepared kids because of they are financially beneficial and giving you false reasons to enroll them?

Pretty sure he supports LGBT rights, just not the things he deems-unfair. That’s a false equivalency. Men don’t have that much power. I hope you don’t mean equality of outcome. The best people should get the job period.

I don’t want people telling women what they can and can’t wear. Simple. If you don’t like what someone’s wearing don’t look at them.

What’s your problem with women wearing sexy clothes?

Yep. But it’s not a big deal. In the end it seems she’s just trying to shed light on female workplace sexism.

Really? I never hired a prostitute but the ones online seem jovial. You could watch solos. Where did you meet that witch? I wanna hang out in that area. Ps: (You should get a profile pic)

@Arcangelo Why don’t you try hiring a prostitute or an escort? Does porn not saftisfy you? Have you had success getting laid?

Blue reacts to orange. Post by @Forrest Adkins

@Nahm This should me on the Society sub forum.

I made a post about this. You should really use the search function before posting a new thread. He does agree they can lead to enlightenment.

@Serotoninluv Alright, I’ll try to see it in DE. Shouldn’t be that hard to understand what I’m saying. I use the word all the time, eg manipulating the landscape, nature, matter, substances, ideas etc. It means to change. Whatever ?‍♂️ My point in a nutshell.

@Preety_India I already explained what my definition of manipulation is but you didn’t read it. I already explained how I condemn lying and cheating. I told you to be careful no to misunderstand me, but you willfully ignored it. You don’t even care to understand what I’m saying. No one’s victim blaming you. You sound so condescending and emotional. Don’t vent out your anger for your ex onto me. Others can do the same to you. You have too much trauma to understand what I’m saying. Just put me on your ignore list or something because I don’t think we can have a proper conversation ever.

@Preety_India idk if this was directed at me but just know I condemn lying and gaslighting. My definition of manipulation is different from yours. Let’s not have a misunderstanding here.

Get a more nuanced view of manipulation or at least read what I mean by manipulating before judging. I think you are willfully ignorant about what I mean by manipulating. Your definition of manipulation is vague. Maybe their not bitching about it because their aren’t that many? Some women are bitching about their narcissistic exes though. Better than looking like someone else ?. I don’t agree with everything @Arcangelo does.

@Serotoninluv I introduced the idea of manipulation being a spectrum because I get a sense individuals were equating lying about your job to fake compliments. I’m not making any false equivalencies. My definition is more accurate than the standard and less confusing imo. Even if we use the standard one, it has huge grey areas. Take smiling. Good manners or manipulation? Who knows? As long as you’re not calling wearing a cologne or to steer a conversation or to change the setting as unacceptable manipulations, then I’m fine. Idk what you mean by “energetic orientation”. I’m assuming it means mindset. I mean... ultimately it makes YOU feel good. But I get your point. I still disagree with it. Which leads me to my next point. I think the right orientation or mindset should be transactional. If I’m not wrong you suggest a “grow with her” mindset. Well, “the grow with her” is also transactional because you’re expecting something of her. I think in terms of spectrums so all relations are transactions imo. Realistically the type of relationship you talk about requires a lot of transactions and most people don’t want those imo. Especially in todays time when people are afraid of commitment. Even if they do commit they want to give each other space. Have a mindset of a businessman. Market/present yourself well. Put your offer on the table, honestly, and see the other parties offer and if you like it then accept. Don’t lie, cheat or do fraud. Learn presentation, marketing, or ‘game’ whatever you wanna call it. The most skilled person is not necessarily the one who gets the job all the time. Learning presentation skills is not manipulation in standard language imo. The manipulation stuff we agree on I think, it’s just minutiae. I think the main point we disagree on is whether relationships should be transactional. I think they should be, fair and implicitly so. I don’t understand how it can be otherwise. I’m not worshipping a deity/goddess. I’m not her slave. We are two independent individuals. We’re not doing Bhakti Yoga lol. Plus it’s hard to find someone who’s into Bhakti.

@Preety_India It’s a matter if semantics. Smiling on a date can seem as good manners to some and as being fake and pretentious to others. @Serotoninluv There are degrees to manipulation, like I said. To truly not manipulate is to accept reality as it is. Why improve one’s personality? Just accept it and let go. Why act on desires? Just sit with them and don’t try to change them. Why go out to find food? Just sit with hunger without manipulating. In the letting go video, Leo said eventually you let go of your life. We manipulate unconsciously and every moment. To truly not manipulate is to let go of everything. That’s why I maintain, manipulation goes very deep. In the context of relationships, if someone lies or hides their true intentions then that would be too much manipulation. Wearing a little bit of makeup or learning how to talk properly is manipulation that is normal and acceptable. People don't want their partners to remove all filters. They don’t want to hear every thought their partner is having. Sometimes the sensitive thing is to not share your thoughts (that keep changing) and to keep unnecessary criticism to yourself. I don’t just mean romantic relationships, I mean ALL relationships. Maybe telling your partner “that actor is way hotter that you” may not be the best thing, it may break their heart.

@Mongu9719 I’m an Indian immigrant in Canada so I can understand what you go through. I would just say be yourself, don’t identify too much with any culture. You said you are born in America, so you are American. Having Indian parents doesn’t make you any less American. And just like... learn to be alone and learn to not let other’s comments hurt you. A lot of it is also in our head. Many times people are not actually being racist, we just misinterpreted their actions. There’s nothing wrong with being Indian, India has a glorious history. I mean, now a days society is so accepting, and encouraging of minorities, there is so much political correctness and representation, there is no excuse to be feeling like victim. Regarding your parents, ya Indian parents can be strict and conservative. But they have redeeming qualities too like they make you disciplined, help you with money, encourage you etc. I always thought of them as an advantage. There are both pros and cons. If you just work on yourself your parents will trust you to make your own decisions. Show them that you’re mature, can handle your own shit, earn money, get good grades, and live independently and they will leave you alone. Also maintain a mental distance from them so they get use to you being distant. Lastly, just don’t identify with any culture. I see that many second generation Indians are more Indian than Indian! because they feel the need to belong and a sense of meaning. That can be very toxic. Both cultures have problems and Indian culture has more problems. Just be without a culture and take good stuff from both cultures.

... and we must be practical when dealing with relationships because most people are shallow who want an attractive physique and an attractive personality. Advice that says don’t manipulate is impractical. Honesty, love, manipulation have degrees and are deep spiritual things. All relationships would fail if we were honest all the time. Asking someone to not manipulate is like saying “don’t smile if you don’t want to” to someone going for an interview.