fridjonk

@electroBeam god bless you sir

Time for good ol' LSD trip. Been a good 3 weeks now since my last LSD trip. It was an awesome one, but lacked effort on my part and ended with little growth. I've been trying to stay more conscious every day and started my meditating again. I've been looking into kundalini yoga as well and will likely experiment with that. Sadhguru has a strict warning off the potency it can provide, so much in fact it can lead to serious problems. But I in my humble arrogance believe I'm ready for it. Been watching a lot of Sadhguru and Adyshanti the last weeks. From having delved into Sadhguru's mind in the past and now, I get the feeling he exudes a lot more wisdom than many traditional non-dualists or neo advitas. Of course, I'm careful of not projecting any authority to anyone, but his level of body control and knowledge of the body's intelligence I feel far exceeds any other teacher. I believe he also admitted in May that he has really been "pussyfooting" around with how he explains all of what he has to say. If I remember right he's going out of the public spotlight after he releases his new book on death, and will be turning inwards once again. But then again, all of this is just a story of which my imagination entertains. Can't really get too lost in all of this, as it has no relevance to my awakening. I've been contemplating many things in the last couple of days. Things such as existence being entirely subjective and relative. The subjectivity really amazes me each time I try to reflect on it; how the room I'm sitting in right now is all of existence, totally imagined as a limitation to experience itself...amazing. I've also learned to appreciate just not thinking or contemplating anything at all. Just sitting and being. The mind finds all kinds of sneaky ways to act like it has figured reality out when in fact, it can't be thought, only felt. Watching the breath is something I'll be focusing a lot more on now. From meditation to daily activities, monitoring the breath leads to a clear, calm, and silent mind. Like Sadhguru said in regards to leaving the spotlight, he'll also retire the language in his mind and totally erase it. I'll be dropping the tabs in two hours. I'm going in with a focus on contemplating and figuring out how to evolve into higher consciousness in everyday life. As I'm writing this I also feel that I don't really know what I want out of this trip, other than becoming wiser and more experienced in life. I feel I can't rely on psychedelics too much also, for it is I who needs to transform and no one but I can. I use them as tools, but sometimes I forget that they're only that, tools to assist. We'll see what comes out of this, hopefully, something lovely.

Thank you for reminding us of this. ?

I'd bet you gained a little more clarity after offloading here.

Did you tie your camel before the shift started?

@acidgoofy Just because it's physically safe doesn't mean it's necessarily healthy for you. The overstimulation of serotonin is like shooting meth except its not dopamine. It's such an alien high you can become insensitive to feeling it the way nature intended. I'd stick to 1-3 times per year max. Correct me if I'm wrong, just my two cents.

Kratom powder is the worst thing I've ever tasted in my entire life! I simply can not believe how bad the taste is. Anyways, time to dissolve.

@Aratrok Nonsense? I live on a farm.

Would you rather get to live at all and die in the end? Or to never have existed at all in the first place? Funny how people who've never been around farming, have no idea of how it actually works. Although I assume it's way worse in mass-marketed countries. But here in Iceland, they get to live a happy life where they have lots of freedom to roam around and are treated fairly.

Today I went with my family to walk Þingvellir, the national park of Iceland. It was so utterly stunning it's beyond me how beautiful nature can be. It felt like a therapeutic session walking around there. Seeing the birdlife, appreciating the flies that were annoying the hell out of my family. ? I saw an Audi-r8 as well and appreciated the beauty of man-made artistic machinery. I've finally gotten my spiritual spark again and have been enjoying some videos from various teachers such as Osho, Adyshanti, Spira, Yogananda, Ramana, etc. Instead of watching "brain-dead" content; I can instantly feel the difference in how my mood is and how my ego feels less and less need to be constantly stimulated. getting back on track with contemplation and meditation feels so good after taking a little break from it. I now feel I've come back wiser and with a less belief-based system around this spiritual game. I thought I was belief free back then, but now I see clearly how much of a trap I had gotten myself into. I've refrained from using all words and concepts such as god, love, truth, etc, because they all fall short of the real thing, and don't come close to describing it. It's such an intellectual trap and its very clear to me. These things come as a byproduct of you looking internally and ceasing to find a self in which you thought was there; when it was an illusion all along. Yet this is also assuming a process that I've yet to undergo without psychedelics, so silence is perhaps the best representation of what I'm trying to express. Today I'm grateful for being alive and healthy.

You believe there's such a thing as infinite love. You don't know that. Why are you chasing some concept of something you have no idea whether its true or not? Drop all this acquired knowledge that you've heard others talk about. Only by learning to not know, will you know.

Are you conscious of what you are right now? If not, then you don't know. If you do know, you wouldn't be asking this question.

I don't know what I fear and I'm starting to wonder. I've died on many trips, then came back into the ego. Do I fear the unlimited love? Do I fear never coming back? Who is this "I" that's afraid? What I admire about shamans such as Don Juan and others is the cosmic warrior-like mentality. Never cowering under fear, because you've been through it all. I'm sure that's why Salvia peaks my interest to such a degree. Most of my LSD trips have been nice smooth sailing, lots of realizations about reality,love, truth. But when I come back, there is this lack of accomplishment from not having faced fear. Of course, there is no fear in those high states of consciousness when the self has died, but when you're back into the self, it slowly puzzles back together. Of course, I also had my fair share of tough trips. And I feel most satisfied after those trips because it leaves you wondering and puzzling around for some time. Because when all fear has vanished. There's nothing left but love, totally unlimited infinite love. So I guess I fear the magnitude of god's infinite totally selfless love, for "I" would have to die for that to happen. Yet you've actually only really started to live at that moment of realization.

@Inliytened1 My friend is in contact with him on regular bases, and it had nothing to do with psychedelics. It had been building up since childhood. I do see why Leo wouldn't pursue Salvia tho. What more is there to pursue after a full realization of the absolute. I guess that would be like operating a chainsaw with one hand. My trips have been too smooth sailing lately and I feel I need some sinister vibes to learn to deal with fear.

I smoked it with a pipe, and also tried the DMT machine. I burned it properly, I'll be trying again soon. This has happened to me with other substances where the first trip doesn't affect me at all. It's like my body has to get used to it. @Leo Gura Why don't you push it further? There are many people who work with Salvia similar to other substances, like Martin Ball used to do, and shamans have done for many years.

@WhatAWondefulWorld Seems you had better luck than I did, lol. I smoked a couple of 60x hits last night and nothing at all happened. I'll try again tho.

@Wisebaxter The Kriya Pranayama technique I tend to do includes a formal meditation in it. There are no rules to this game, what works for some is totally relative. So I sometimes feel like it calms my ego-mind to sit in silence and do nothing. I feel I don't try to get distracted as much because if there's one thing the ego doesn't like, its boredom. I know this all too well. However after I started doing Kriya, I noticed more "real" results from it than any other practice I'd tried. If you manage to get into a routine doing it, you will notice some change shortly after. It has helped me to write each session down on paper and check it off, that way I tend to stick to it longer, it's just a matter of taking it into action and stop thinking about it. Kriya alongside contemplation or self-inquiry is a deadly combo for the ego.

@Wisebaxter Thanks for dropping by! I'd say it really depends on what state of consciousness you're at right now, and if you've had awakenings with psychedelics or not. I started to notice a big leap in my meditations when I'd been doing Kriya daily for about 2 weeks. If you stick with the practice and do it properly for a month, I'm sure you'll start to notice immense effects take place. What I noticed most is how the energy system of your body starts to flow around more, up your spine, and through the chakras. This is essentially like a spiritual workout. I get faster results from doing it over traditional mediation, although I tend to blend them both. And it's not easy by any means, doing it daily is a challenge if you're new to it but well worth it. Check out Ryan Kurczak on youtube for some guidance. Today was spent thinking about Salvia. I had a meet-up with my friend and we had a great conversation about Salvia and future trip plans while playing some soccer (football). I've not been feeling as afraid and nervous as I'd expected. I'll dip a toe into this new world in a few minutes, then maybe again when I wake up. I'm going in with a lot of humble respect for this substance and completely open for an experience that hopefully helps my growth, and deepens my understanding of this reality.

Finally, I've got my hands on some Salvia-60X extract. I almost went in tonight but felt it would've been rushed. If I'm feeling good tomorrow I'll proceed to experiment with it. Most of this evening and night was spent heavily researching this substance, and from what I've read, it could pose some benefits to my spiritual growth. I'm careful with taking all this read information lightly and when I go in, I'll do so with a blank slate. Much of the info I managed to find on salvia comes from silly young people, so it's not much help. I'm going to rewatch Leo's video on it before I go to sleep for one final report. I don't really know what I want to get out of salvia; I'll just ask her to lead the way. I guess I'd just like to face my fears fully. My last LSD trip didn't end being as profound as the others I've had, nevertheless it was a very enjoyable experience, with many moments of insights. I didn't really tackle any fears or try to control the trip in any-way, it just happened on its own. So I guess I'm hoping for a little more confrontation with Salvia. I will start off with microdoses and work my way up slowly, to a level I feel I'm satisfied handling alone without a trip sitter. It will be done in total darkness as I've read is the proper way. Most likely with nice heartfelt music to start off with, as the doses increase it will be done in silent darkness.

Infinity can not be something. It's exactly that which is nothing. As soon as you say something is infinite, it is not. Because it can't be, it's finite. The universe is not infinite, it has a beginning and it will end. The future is not infinite because it has a beginning and an end. As soon as you think about infinity logically, you're chasing your tail.

haha, that's okay. Just push until you feel you hit your limit, then push a little harder. You will leap in growth if you do it this way.

@BjarkeT Ditch those numbers, you have to push to limit a little. Do jumping jacks until you can't do more, same for the others. I find I get most energized when I train as hard as I can, which gets you out of the comfort zone.

@Zigzag Idiot I appreciate you and all the other journalers here as well. It's very motivating to get a peek into other people's minds, and you grow a lot from it. We're all here to share our love and receive some back. I recognize that tall grass sensation all to well, sometimes you get plenty high on air and the fresh smell of nature.