JohnnyBravo

@Chumbimba Thankyou for sharing, happy to hear your retreat helped. Well done for doing a Vipassana retreat, a very concentrative style of meditation(s) in my judgement. I am reminded of the ageless Peter Ralston in terms of 'this forum will NOT help you with enlightenment.' Leo's videos will not help, Ralston's videos will not help. The videos can introduce the subject, but in terms of genuine enlightenment, no way. I believe this is the correct video of the sensibility of throwing away all your data sensibilities on the enlightenment subject. Less is more. Big time, less is more in our information culture. Why was it that Zen practitioners 400 years ago could successfully attain enlightenment an THEY didn't have a prepaid smartphone nor access to the video "Being a Zen Devil."? *Please note, Leo, I admire your work and videos. I have not uploaded one single video on YouTube on enlightenment so I cannot bargain with yourself. Thankyou for all your efforts, time of study, attention and intent to share what you have learned. Thankyou for this forum also. Stay strong. Here Mr Skeleton Polo Ralph Lauren reveals that the trick is 'less is more' when it comes to information on Enlightenment. Info on enlightenment and the pursuit of enlightenment are NOT the SAME THING. Looks like he has a hot cup of Thyme tea? No?

Dating is NOT a math exam. Dating is more like a maths test; it doesn't matter if you know the answer or not, just scribble something on the paper and try.

The Significance of a Wing/ Mentor for Social Skills OR pickup "Until you observe someone else doing it, the activity is still just a seed in your mind."- Unknown Back in 2010-2012, I would watch early YouTube videos of men talking to random girls on the streets. It was not until 2013 that I began my first phase of proper talking to real girls on the real streets (and not online). I have talked to strangers before. I know how to mingle and stuff a little bit. I have even done a sales job before where I was forced to stop people and interact with them. And, And!! I had watched YouTube videos of men talking to women! (and back at this time, many of those guys were Australian, and they were shooting their videos in the streets of Sydney and Birsbane that I am familiar with!!). So we beget the question, Why did it take so long, and why were there so many barriers towards striking up sexual conversations with women and flirting with them in a sensible format, and yet I could muscle my way into talking to strangers?..... Was it a lack of my confidence? Maybe I was just a coward all along. Was it a lack of motivation? Maybe I needed to engage in this NoFap idea. Was it a lack of self-image issues? Maybe I needed a more expensive perfume. And here I Was frustrated and single, not knowing what else to do. And then God sent me my first pickup mentor, who was also my wing for about 5 months. And through WATCHING this man actually DO and BEHAVE the way I want to - in my own eyes right in front of me with me and not through a screen- my reality shifted. All of a sudden I began talking to girls easily. I began going to bars on my own and not feeling self-conscious as much. Everything fell into place. The reason a wing is not to be avoided is because *watching someone do the behaviour makes it more 'normal' in your mind.* Have you ever seen a martial artist do shadow boxing? The first time you saw him shadow boxing, you probably were thinking, "Is he dancing? He is not fighting anyone, but why is he punching the air? Could he at least punch the boxing bag??" And after you yourself have watched Rocky or Hajime No Ippo, try and not tell me you haven't at least tried shadow boxing on your own or in front of other people. Why now? Because the behaviour is now registered as 'normal' in your mind. The good Master Mentor will eventually reveal to you that *any* comment or flirt you make to a woman is normal. This is a rare mentor and took me about one year to find someone who eventually did behave like a clown, was an absolute loser, and yet women loved him like I have never ever seen in my life. This man, this Master Mentor, taught me how to dance. How? Well, he SHOWED ME with HIS BODY how to dance in public. It's easy once you have seen someone you trust perform the behaviour and be cool with it. The signifance of a wing- not even a mentor- is that through them approaching girls or talking to strangers in the street, you give yourself permission quickly to do that behaviour yourself and try. "Try." The way to get good at anything is to do it more often. Practise. Helio Gracie would say "repetition." But until you meet a wing, even with me writing this and telling you that it is acceptable and polite and ok to talk girls you find attractive- you will still just consider this and not give it an attempt. The wing is your gateway. You can abandon the wing once you feel 'normal' talking to a girl when you see one. And honestly, this entire subject of in state VS out of state is really marketing. It is not as relevant as you may think. The entire pickup and dating marketing culture, such as Redpill, will all try and make you feel you are not 'good enough' to approach a girl UNTIL you do XYZ.... It's nonsense. Getting a wing can not only get you into talking to girls quicker, but it can save you a lot of money $$. If you do not have a wing or mentor, you will probably be one of the thousands of poor young men that ends of buying countless pickup products, one after the other, year after year, still waiting for the 'magic moment' or 'magic phase' in your life to happen until you begin talking to girls. You want your dreams realised, but just not today for some reason. Getting a wing, even for just one day, can have you get your hands in the clay rapidly and putting in fun effort quick. Once you begin talking to girls and strangers, and you make it a DAILY THING you just 'do' for the fun of it, within about 5 days you will be a new person. Within two weeks you will have a date, and within a month you will wonder why it was ever so hard to do this thing after all. Sadly because of our phone culture/smartphone era time we live in now (a very crazy era to be alive in), your options of meeting girls are only two fold: 1. Tinder (or dating site) 2. 'Chance.' Both of those items are out of your efforts of control. Tinder is poison. 'Chance' by here I mean social circle, and meeting a girl every 2 years and having a small coffee date with her and then realising she never liked you all along. Don't be that guy. I know a guy my age whom never meets girls due to his severe introversion. It's problematic. He has his own house $$, his own business, he is a muscular gym good looking man, he has a close family and tie with them......And yet he cant even get a date despite 3 months of Tinder. 3 months of Tinder VS 3 DAYS of cold approach. Yes 3 days. 3 DAYS. That is such a bold slap in the face isn't it. You will get more dates and experience in 3 days of talking to REAL PEOPLE in the REAL world compared to one year on Tinder. I'm a handsome looking person, they call me JohhnyBravo, but Johhny for short. I am not Brad Pitt looking- I am better looking than that. I have 4 pack abs. My hair is spikey. My shirt is ironed and pressed. Currently wearing Lynx Africa, a highly expensive cologne.... And yet in one year of online game....I got 2 dates. A wing is your GOLDEN TICKET to getting into the chocolate factory of infinite and limitless supply of meeting new people and including very attractive women. If you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep attaining the results you are getting. I would advise to KILL the story of "oh I cant meet girls boohoo" and kill the story of "I am 30 and never been kissed, who can beat me?:- kill those stories now. There is no honour in them, and by the way, a father figure of mine whom I admire met his first girlfriend when he was 34. And he never brags nor talks himself down about it ever. He says it just as a Zen fact. I respect this man so much. KILL that narrative. Either create a new story- become a Johnny Bravo or Austin Powers- otherwise drop the story. Start talking to strangers, do your best, have good intent and willpower, and just do your best. And if you cannot seem to find yourself talking to strangers- a Wing is the silver bullet for now. Once you have normalised this behaviour in your mind then let your wing go and give him your blessing. The reason I was able to meet my wife was credit to my wing 6 years ago. Not me, my wing/mentor. If I had never normalised the behaviour of talking to strangers, I never would have been as fluent socially nor had the experiences I had. You deserve this experience of mingling with The Universal Brotherhood. Enter it now. Good luck you two. Who knows maybe you two could exchange details and agree to meet up?

Oh mamma, the meditation was grrrrooovy. (jokes aside: the self-love/self-respect I have for myself has SKY ROCKETED like a 2000 mile boner. This is less of an insight but more of a behaviour change and attitude shift. Like driving my car slower now on, little things like this I have noticed only upon reflection. Will insert a behaviour shift item soon...)

Johnny Bravo's Meditation Retreat Insights I have completed my meditation retreat. It was going to be 4 weeks but yesterday I just 'knew' I was complete with my retreat for now and wanted to commence into my old Earth Game life with all the drama (I was dying to watch season 8 so now I have permission to). Here is a compilation of some of insights I downloaded/comprehended during my deliberate solo time. You will notice within my insights that I also outline what my meditation was and what my retreat was, for those very words and those 'items' are/were debunked during this period. I don't like the word meditation anymore, nor even the phrase "retreat" seem sensible. But alas my fellow disciples and my fluffy Leonidas, here is some juice from the rarest fruit in the world: After one has properly gained sufficient practise with one or two meditation techniques, and no more than this, meditation stops being "meditation" and stops being "a separate thing you do" from the rest of your life. Meditation is NOT a binary state of being nor is it escaping into some alternative psychological state. People that advocate this are misleading you. One cannot do meditation incorrectly. The INTENT and the application to meditate is satisfactory enough. If you think you are meditating, you are. What is fear? Fear is only one thing and one item combined with a behaviour trait. Fear= projection of a bad future circumstance. The future is a projection. ALWAYS a projection, with a certain flavour to it. Fear = unwillingness to take the 'hit' of this 'bad' future projection. To stop feeling fear, simply embrace WILLINGNESS for the projection. Wish for it to come true, have an attitude of boldness about the projection, and the fear vanishes. Example? I am scared my fruit tree will be chopped down by my neighbour next week. I am NOT scared about the tree going down, I am scared I will be unwilling to face that the tree has fallen or be cut down. Do you see/feel the distinction? Fear is always unwillingness. If you are willing to face/encouter/endure or hope for the projection to be real so you can face it, the fear zaps. This is why in those stupid self-help books they say "The antidote to fear is courage, or do the thing to have the power." Sort of. But just be willing to face whatever and KNOW you can deal with anything. You must appreciate this insight. The brutality of martial arts. True martial arts is nothing more than learning and getting familiar with death. Not the theme of death or the theory of death, but real death. True martial arts- classic Budo- circumference completely around death. All techniques of martial arts derive from death. To survive, one must be familiar with The Tao/ the way of nature. Budo is Tao. Martial arts that prostitute themselves as sport combat or entertainment/a hobby are, yes, prostituting the Tao. You will never, ever meet a true martial artist in the UFC. The best boxers refuse to compete. Genuine martial artists are not necessarily arrogant on their technique, but it's that they appreciate death and they can therefore appreciate life. Leo, there is a suggestion for you. Go take up Kyokushin Karate. There are certain principals and energy within a Kyuokushin Karate school that I think will tap into what you need to, directly. I know you have taken psychedelics and done retreats; so this should be a walk in the park, no? You are in need of some intensity of exercise/movement anyhow. Now is an appropriate time. One single lesson is enough. If there is an anger pulling you into this, then stick with this Karate for a few months until all your anger has settled (for now). Escorts are humans. Johhny, stop waiting for permission to be the man you wish to be. Develop your own morale code and stick to it. Abandon what others say of morality, or how to be in the world. If you want a morality, then own it and take it up. As long as it is not borrowed. The quickest means to reach your destination is to refuse to jog. Only walk. Go slowly. The shark is a killer being of the ocean. It's body is athletic, muscular, zero fat on it. It's teeth are weaponry. The shark also has a correct psychology for killing and being natural in this. There is an art to his killing. Yet when the shark is taken out of the water, it is useless. Johhny, stop being a teacher for other people. Unless you are asked, or you feel the heart beckoning to mentor or coach, abandon this practise. Teaching is futile; just be a fellow students. Have the balls to be non-impressive. Be yourself, yet, be ordinary and easy. What is this act you keep doing Johhny of trying to be a Bravo you are not? When you criticise lazy people, at the higher level of understanding, what you are actually doing is refusing to embrace a 'healthy laziness' into your life; you project laziness onto others to see this. If you want to relax, 'test' out being lazy and being complacent from time to time, and being ok with it. Johhny, quit your job. The specific thing you are doing, it is time to cross at a ford. Go and be a cleaner for 3 months, or go and work at the airport for 3 months. Go and 'drop out' of the story for a while, whilst simultaneously refusing to run away from the earth game. Stop being a character and playing a role. You are YOU, not a character in a movie. It doesn't matter if you are assigned as James Bond in the James Bond films- the more you play a character, the more you are violent towards your true authenticity and are abusing God. Yes, when you play a character you are abusing yourself. Stop telling yourself a narrative and story. Your life is not a movie script or Harry Potter film. Life is, just, what is happening. There is no "next day" and "yesterday" all of that is just mental projection. Sure, the projections are necessary to interact with other people, such as the invention of TIME, but play with them and don't be dictated by them. Start driving slower in your car. Deliberately go a little slower. Do this for the next month (and I did). Get off all social media and online forums Johhny. Shinmen Musashi once told me, "Do nothing of no use." For what purpose is there in going on this online forum? To interact? Bullshit. You just want to dump your excess emotionally stress elsewhere, so an online forum will do because no-one knows no-one. An online forum is the most cowardly place to visit in existence. A 12-step group, though they have victim mentality, at least they have the courage to show up every week. There is but one single secret to enjoy your life. Well, two. 1. Be a human (stop trying to play God or some mystical being). Yes, get sucked up in the day-to-day drama. What is the trouble with it? You are aware and see it for what it is! Well enjoy it! Start gossiping! Start getting drunk every so often with people. If you crave a bag of Doritos, have it! Have a warm and hot shower every so often as well as the cold ones. 2. Whatever you do, do so with TOTALITY. If you are going to suffer, suffer with totality. If there is pain, take on the pain with totality. Refuse to pull your punches any longer. Stop being squeamish and begin living in totality. If you are angry, be totally angry. And this means if you are sad, you walk around with it painted all over your face "I am sad and I am not hiding it." If you are a slave, there is one means to escape: acknowledge you are a slave and enjoy the beatings. "Hey, you forgot to whip my right ball and I have a little itch..." The man who knows he is a slave and lives it is more like a King. Only a King can have the courage to be a slave. True slaves are people who walk around with their chest out saying "Look what a king I am." What do YOU WANT? Not what she wants, or what my mentor wants, or what my group advises me, or what Osho says one should do, or what Leo said one should never do, or what my grandfather says is a mistake.....What does YOUR HEART say? Then do that. And away with the consequences. A true Saint is the man who lives with no concern for the future. Forget future; the real man lives by refusing to be concerned. Concern is a metal parasite: one must kill it. My heart burns like fire, yet my eyes are cold as ice. My being is total and on fire, yet I appear ordinary. Honestly mate, stop trying to manipulate others opinions of you. If you want to be JohhnyBravo, then you need to allow others to do what they want. Remember to kill fear embrace willingness? Well what I am saying is that with willingness, fear has no seed to grow a tree. Be willing to let other people behave however they want with no input from me. But if they punch you in the face, then yes, I am going to pin them up against the wall, yell in their face "fuck off", put them on the floor with some sort of Judo, maybe another piledriver to the face.....or a nice punch to the face...….and then leave. If anybody else wants to slap me in the face, I will return the favour and the burden of being human and slap you back twice, or, once (but harder). I am not a fucking Saint and I don't want to be a fucking Saint...Although, to be a fuck-buddy Saint with intimacy and authenticity, sure. Did you know the author who wrote the famous non-fiction book "The Diceman" took 12 years to write it before he published it? Mastery does not demand things to happen; mastery is about respect for time and timing. And here we have YouTube losers doing 1 hour videos week after week. What significance is this? The next time you are thinking of texting this woman you want to be your wife, flip a coin. Heads I text her I want to see her, tails I refuse to be authentic with her for today. Whatever the coin says, you do thoughtlessly. The beauty of flipping a coin is that you can let go of your brain and your mind. It's so much more fun existing in the body isn't it? How happy a dog must be....Ah bliss......Just be a dog now. Not an ANIMAL, but a sensible dog. Dogs have a certain morality anyways, they just wont tell you because humans don't have the patience to ask such questions. I killed a spider last year. I think it was a female. It was scary, massive, hairy legs. It lived in my car for about 3 days. I refused to kill it hoping "the universe will sort it out." Well the universe did sort it out. After 3 days, I went to the shops, returned to my car, noticed the spider had moved onto my steering wheel (close to it), and went back to the shops, purchased some fly spyray, and proceeded to murder this spider. The spider died slowly; it's body crinkled up like when you burn a piece of paper with a match. It was one of the most ugliest things I have ever seen- not the spider- but me doing that. Because I was so scared, scared of what? After this incident, I refuse to ever kill a spider again. Bugs yes, but not spiders. I respect these creatures so much. I do not care; they can scare me and I will live with the fear and the discomfort and the anxiety. But I refuse to ever kill one again. I noticed as I was writing this there was a spider on the floor so I killed it just to make sure it wouldn't bite me. There is a song by Coldplay- my favourite song- "Politik." I think they wrote it on the day of 9/11. The lyrics are penetrating. "Give me real, don't give me fake....Give us a kiss, don't tell me you're a politic." Stop being a politic. Start being a human. Yes, a human has sides and likes/dislikes and views. But better to be an angry human than a cold politic. The politic gets money, gets favour, gets approval, gets 'correct behaviour' from other people. But the politic controls. The human allows. The human has WILLINGNESS, the politic has NON-WILLINGNESS. Politics are little bitches. Donald Trump would shit himself he I said to him "sit in this chair and watch this movie." He couldn't. He is scared what would happen next on the movie screen, and will be unable to accept the plotline. I don't think Trump (or any politic) has ever had the courage to watch Game of Thrones without first reading about what happens, episode by episode. Don't be such an idiot. Let the plotline by a mystery. If you cant let something go, then there is only ONE thing you MUST do; be a ruthless action taker and exhaust yourself with action and brutality towards changing something. Only after exhausting yourself with such efforts- regardless if you change something or not- they you can relax. You are the racehorse type Johhny, not a turtle type. The racehorse must be exhausted and allowed to go at full speed, otherwise, he will have a slow death and be cranky. The best way to torture someone is to give them one command, "Ok, you can be or have anything in the world, as long as it is not yourself. Who do you want to be?"- this question will kill someone if lived out long term. If you want to stop pleasing people and stop being a doormat, here is the solution: refuse to be self-conscious. I mean, abandon self-consciousness. Live as if you are a ghost or an animal or if you have no brain. Live 100% in the flow. A people pleaser is a politic also, they are always filtering, always waiting, always suppressing, always calculating. Life isn't that hard. If someone upsets you or gives you a bad gut feeling- not only is the gut feeling correct, but your behaviour through punching them or walking away is of the highest morale principal if carried out. Freewill vs determinism?.....At the end of the day, who cares? You have INTENT, you have WILL. Who cares what or if or how things play out. Enjoy the pretension you are in control, or not in control. Perhaps you can flick between the two? But honestly who cares, just live your life and enjoy it. On my death, I go up to Heaven, and the angel says to me, "Oh, just letting you know, all along you had freewill. Determinism was not true."- I respond to this angel, "So?.." On my death, I go up to Heaven, and the angel says to me, "Oh, freewill never really exists. You were determinist all along, just letting you know."- I respond by saying, "You know what, take me down to Hell. At least everything doesn't have to be a fucking test all the time." The worst form of abuse done in schools is "time out." Or, detention or suspension. It is such a violent form of psychological abuse. You are essentially covertly communicating to the child that they have zero worth in life and their behaviour is horrible. There is only ever going to be ONE JohhnyBravo ever in the world. Do you accept to take up your cross and carry out the duty to be yourself? To be yourself is the hardest mission in humanity. It requires rebelliousness, grit, courage, and the ability to sit in the mud and dirty your fresh pair of jeans and be ok with it from time to time. --- There! It's good to get that off my chest! Over and done with! Doesn't everyone feel better, I certainly do. That was getting kind of....tense....

Yes I agree. They have an unspoken tabboo against open mindedness. Reality imposers. Good phrase. Exactly what they are doing, because deep down, they know not all women are not cruel devils.

Why does it sound like not your thing? You said you desired a genuine bond with a fellow man based on authenticity. A support group is one of many environments you can meet men as such. If you are socially outgoing you will enjoy the new experience anyway. Do what works. Glad I could help.

It is not true at all. Be especially cautious with redpill. Everytime i read or listen to redpill items (many many many months ago) i always felt hopeless. A good consumer is someone who never feels good enough. The redpill has an agenda big time. If you feel horrible and crappy and disempowered with listening to Redpill, abandon those junk ideas. It is the perfect place to meet other men that just complain about 'how women really are' all day. The redpill stuff is all purely an idea. Its not the truth. Be especially careful dipping into Redpill stuff with low self esteem. They will eat you whole. To improve your self esteem, practise talking kind to yourself and trusting yourself. Practise having boundaries with other people. Set them and enforce them violently if necessary. Protect yourself and your spiritual space. There is ONE old school redpill video that Did change my life. It is on self respect and the video does not mention women or sexual dating matters at all. Its all about self respect. Founder is Paul Elam a man I respect but dont follow. I argue Paul Elam is uncomfortable being called Redpill for he is in a class of his own. Anyways, if you practise behaviour of self respect your self esteem will naturally rise. I hope this helps.

If this is the case, well done. For a connection as such, timing is the spice. At the same time, lower your standards for what constitutes a "quality friend." Have you attended any mens support groups in the past 6 months?

Buy it..... ....but FIRST establish a 30 day exercise habit. Pushups, situps, star jumps, yoga, dance indoors for one hour. If you cannot exercise for 4 weeks in a row without skipping even one single day, this treadmill will be a waste of space and money. But if you are already in the habit of exercise and you trust you will use it every single day for the rest of your life, then enjoy! Either way by ordering it you learn. Order the treadmill now.

Beyond talking to strangers, I feel your grief over your friend. Its not gay. Construct a ceremony or ritual of significance and grief your hurt. Youre letting go your projection of him. You can and will find another guy friend or a Master who can fulfill all of those authentic characteristics. You said you are a warrior? A warrior never gives up as well as he is in harmony with Nature. Go find your new friend. Good luck.

Practise the skill of talking to strangers. Even for the married man or woman, this is a skillset most needed in the smartphone era. Look how easy it is for me to write on a forum online? Now when was the last time you said hello to someone in the real world? Mitigate this time gap, and your self esteem will also rise. Boundary your online time and limit it. But never skip even one day without talking to a new stranger. It is healthy for the mind and social system. The way to get good at talking to strangers is through repetition and practise over months and years. You will look back in 5 years from now and ponder why it was so tough ever making friends after you master this skill. Mastery of skill requires daily practice. My advise is to talk to strangers.

@WelcometoReality You mentioned your intuition is honing you towards something scary. If you share what this intuition is and offer me more information about your situation I can help you.

@WelcometoReality So you do not have any issues confronting the fear of roller coasters or public speaking, you are ok with this, And you say you are scared of the idea of death and it pops up from time to time? I still would challenge you to give me a more specific concrete idea first. All that arises in me is that your IDEA (projection) of death is what is the culprit, NOT death itself. You may read testimonies of people who have had NDEs and they all collectively agree that death is anything but scary. Death is more like a homecoming and a waking up from a dream and having an honest knowing of the truth. Perhaps you fear not accomplishing something before leaving Earth? If that is the case, that is a very seperate idea to death. You must use your word of "death" carefully. I dont think youre afraid of death. I think its something else. But I require a more concrete imagination of what youre afraid of in order for me to help you.

After experimenting for 4 weeks. Butekyo breathing. In other words, Spend one hour before bed ONLY breathing through and out the NOSE. No mouth. Only nose. Also pause between inhale and exhale if you can. Try hold the pause as long as possible. If you cant dont bother with this. Nose inhale and exhaling done for ONE HOUR minimum will put you to bed if the body is tired.

@Sauvik Begin the idea now. Hesitation is the greatest sin. Do not hesitate. Advance with a spirit of victory and justice. So many young men will benefit from your business. Providing of course, you have the metal to start it. You have a noble vision. Begin it now. Good luck and you have my consent. ** the condition of men vs women in India is difficult at the moment. Your service will help heal this current tension.

Make the intent firm and non negotiable to pass the exam. Once this spirit is set, nothing will stop you. Nothing. Until this spirit is set, anything has possibility to stop you.

What is it you have this overwhelming fear of? Can you share what it is please? Fear and danger are seperate phenomenon. One SHOULD recognise genuine danger. But before I begin, yes, you can tell me what it is you are doing or thinking of facing?

You can read with the brain or feel with the heart/body. The secret is dont force yourself to comprehend items. If it doesnt make sense let it be. Absorb only what comes easily and you agree with. Poetry is impossible to understand with the brain. But with the heart, yes.

Sorry that was the founder of different Karate, not the Judo founder. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&id=788B1B24902A0692245CBD5AEF0D6FB591B42E47&thid=OIP.zx2yMr_JIIF63ICHFQpE1gAAAA&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fs-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F564x%2Fb0%2F50%2Fa4%2Fb050a41cc5abb2a744d78ac299967792.jpg&exph=714&expw=449&q=spirit+first+technique+second&selectedindex=1&ajaxhist=0&vt=0&eim=1,2,6

Hey @theking00 The very wording of your question reveals your spiritual attitude behind this issues for you. "How do I go about quitting this addiction?" Well, you just stop doing the behaviour. But the way you have worded it shows to me that you are in search, perhaps, of some mystical technique or forumal for beating this. There is one of my favourite quotes that came to me during my 30 day (nearly) meditation retreat, "...Spirit first. Techniques are secondary."- Jigoro Kano, founder of Judo. So already you are defeated. Even as you have typed this question, you are not even resolves on quitting this. You have decided, "Until I get the correct technique, THEN I will start." Do not bother about WHAT technique or method to quit porn. There are countless tools out there, some have worked for people, some have not. For each method is a person, and there are countless journeys to get to the mountain top. The important thing Buddha would tell you is, it doesn't matter how you get to the mountain top- which road you take or which items you take it irrelevant- the point is GET TO THE TOP! And you are not thinking in this fashion, yet. Basically, here is the single principal behind giving up any addiction- and yes it conflicts with Leo's video on addiction, but since you asked me and I am a fan of DBZ also, it seems that I am a Sensei Piccolo telling a Young Gohan how to get stronger. Gohan asks, "How do I get motivation to get stronger?" Sorry, I cant give you motivation. But here is the principal. Spirit first, technique second. Meaning, until you have a hungry burning resolve and intent to quit porn, you never will. That is the truth. Even a junkie, no matter how achy the pains he experiences or what gate holes he must pass through- if he is INTENT on quitting his drug, he will use WHATEVER TOOL IS AVAILABLE without question. Why without question? Because he has the COMMITMENT and INTENT to quit; the methodology is pointless by this stage. In fact, some former addicts will tell you, if you ask them what they did to quit, they will tell you, "I just decided to quit one day and I did." Addicts- including people who look at porn against their will- usually have issues setting boundaries with themselves and other people. Hence why they cannot freely and easily say "no" to themselves. You can test this out- try going 2 weeks where every single day you DELIBERATLY watch porn for 1 hour. You will not be able to. Yes I mean YOU not just anyone- because you have issues with boundaries on yourself. You need to study the skill of commitment to things- this is why I referred Leo to study Kyokushin Karate (one reason). The Karate spirit is intense and firey- you can do anything with the correct intent and decision and spirit. Right now, you lack all spirit. Where has your spirit gone? Either quit porn, or make the bold choice "I refuse to quit porn and I will indulge." Either way, YOU must be the MASTER of the situation. So the ultimate technique and principal is as follows, Spirit first, technique second. But right now, intend to re-gain your spirit of determination and zest. Until you do this, you will be able to accomplish nothing in life. If this is too hard, then patiently accept this as such, and go ahead engaging in porn, but resolve to regain your spirit and skill of sticking to things- regain your willpower and intent- and then you can one day give the no porn challenge a try. Get a small 'resume' of accompishments and routines and things you can STICK TO with commitment and spirit, and then give porn a go. Examples, - Every day, no matter what, I will make my bed when I wake up in the morning - 30 days of jogging/exercise every single day without skipping even one day - Every morning when you wake up, the first thing you do before looking at your smart phone is to drink a glass of water and set an intention for the day. Build up, build up. Get your spirit. Then one day when you feel spiritually in tune with your body and mind, deciding to stop looking at porn every day is absolutely easy. The tool I used to quit porn was hypnosis. But my spirit was strong before 'stumbling' upon this means to quit. And the hypnosis was non-porn-related, it was purely on self confidence. Good luck man, trust yourself and your timing, and resolve to get a strong spirit as your next thing to do. You can do this. But you must believe in your own fist first.

I have noticed this behaviour time and again and the shadow certain people have of needing to control other people. Certain parents exhibit these mannerisms of being overcontrolling of their children. It goes beyond healthy parenting ("dont touch the fire or youll get burned") and seems to be ego stroking. And many bosses at my work have this and even in meetup groups. Neurotic obsessive desire to be in control of what other people say or do if its not in line with the status quo or someone elses status quo. My question is, where does the controlling behvaiour-the need for power over others- come from and what does it feed? And how does one go about purifying oneself of all this type of shadowy behaviour?

Just informing everyone here I am doing a 30 day solo retreat. Sadly for me I dont have access to psychadelics drugs otherwise I would take them every day for my retreat. Need to have a good examination and see what the hell I am doing on a forum like this and participating here. What am I really getting out of it and how is it helping people? Dont cast pearls before swine is a quote from the Bible I have been studying. Talk to everyone on here in 30 days.

I think you should get more experience with girls and there should be a forum limit for these types of one sentence questions. I dont have any context for what youre referring to so how can I help? I think you should say you love her and want to marry her and youll do anything to be with her and she is the love of your life and she is your soulmate as well and youre just being authentic telling her how amazing she is to you and no girl is like that ever before in your life. And then let the Disney end credits play. Sorry mate love to help please can i have some context? That was just my shadow playing out. Im human after all not a rule following robot.