Liger

Hey everyone, I'm going to try and keep this short and to the point. I am currently applying to Physical Therapy school and just finished writing my Personal Statement. I dont really know too many people with proper grammar or any sort of writing experience, so I was hoping some of you guys could look over it and give me some feedback? It's only a page long and I know this is a tedious favor for someone you've never met but I'd really appreciate it if someone was willing. The prompt is about "An experience in your life that changed your attitudes and perceptions and contributed to your growth", so for many of you this might actually be an enjoyable short read. If you'd like to help a brotha out comment down below and I'll PM you the document =] Thanks!

I'm going to keep this brief and try not to go into the intricacies of each situation, but throughout my life I've realized I always have 2 very important people in my life and that is all. In each chapter of my life, I have a best friend that I care all about and a woman that I have strong feelings for. This has happened multiple times, and each time I've lost both of these figures in my life for different reasons (growth, betrayal, travel, etc). These past few months I've broken up with my 3 year long girlfriend and my best friend got sentenced to 4 years in prison. I've went through a lot of pain getting over both of these people and trying to comprehend that they will no longer be in my life, however, while going through this I came to the realization that this is a cycle that I've been going through my entire life, I put all my eggs in two baskets. While this does give me very high high's while it lasts, it gives me very low low's when it ends, and I just want to get out of this loop..... Any thoughts would be appreciated, and thank you for reading this, its a tad bit lengthy despite my promise at the start lol.

Both of my aunts from my dad's side are in their 70's and single, neither of which have ever been married. They live in the same duplex as my other uncle and aunt so they kinda have a family that they see very often (they eat dinner together most of the week and what not), and they consider my cousins their actual children so I guess they have that in their lives. My point is that yes it is possible, but nevertheless, love can allow you to experience some of the highest highs in your existence, and it very well may allow you to experience the lowest lows. But that's how growth occurs =]

I was born a Muslim, and for 18 years of my life I was a very devout one. The last 4 years of my life I've done much introspection on my beliefs and I type to you now as an agnostic. I am not publicly agnostic but my close friends are aware of it, and when on rare occasions we talk religion one of my friends always says something that makes me question the idea of theism altogether, he says "My parents are ignorant and they're so happy, why can't I be happy and ignorant as well?". When he says that, it makes me think of all the sleepless nights trying to accept the fact that "Allah", this being that I had built an intimate 18 year long relationship with, did not exist. And it makes me question whether the entire journey of truth (specifically in religion) is worth it at all. Should each person just follow what their culture teaches, regardless of its external validity, because that is what allows for the least suffering and the most happiness? Does ignorance = happiness? Thoughts?

@kindayellow Believe me when I tell you they are happy. They truly believe that they are on the correct path, they've held this belief for over 60 years, so it has literally become a reality, they no longer get doubts about what they are practicing. To them its the absolute truth and they are so grateful that they found it. Another example of the ease that ignorance can bring would be of my situation with my ex girlfriend. She was Muslim and I was agnostic, and she wanted to raise her kids a certain way. We knew it wasn't going to work out so we decided to cut it off. However, it was only a matter of time before she found a Muslim in the community that fit her criteria. While, I, on the other hand (now agnostic) have had a much harder time finding like-minded individuals that I can connect with. This is mainly due to the fact that I grew up in a specific culture/community for 20+ years and now I no longer have (want) access to that community. My point is that I've always thought seeking the truth was the most important thing, however, in practical life situations I am finding out that this may not be the case. What was the point of me suffering all those nights trying to convince myself that God still exists? Would I have just been better off accepting what I was taught whilst maintaining an agnostic perspective? (Being an agnostic thiest)

Yeah I do visit him, but I mean in terms of having someone there for you that you can also spend time with, someone that's a part of your life. Someone in prison can't really be a large part of your life. I guess I just need to spread myself thinner across a larger quantity of people, but my intuition tells me that having a large circle isn't the best idea either. Idk tbh

For the past 3 and a half years I have been with my girlfriend. I was her first love and her first everything, everything was going great until this past summer. We were both living in Dallas until she moved to college station because she expected me to be there (I however changed career paths), so she remained there alone. While there she made some new friends and changed a lot, from being the super shy type reading books at home to clubbing and partying every single week. While this was going on she told me that she wasn't sure if she wanted to be with me and she wanted to just live life. So from that day we haven't spoken much, we speak maybe once every two months or so, but recently shes been talking to me more often and I can tell from the way shes talking that she wants to get back together. I feel like I am still attached to the old version of her, even though I know that that version of her is completely gone. I mean its just hard to be with someone for almost 4 years and just have them do a 180 in a matter of a month. I dont even know what I am asking you guys here, I just needed to type all of this out and hear the opinion of others. I just feel like I need to stop trying to figure this stuff out on my own and talk to people, even if its through the internet. Thanks...

I grew up in an Arab community in which over-protectiveness was looked proudly upon, especially by parents. Even among my friends when we were high school students I would often hear "You're going to let her wear that?" or I would have one of my friends say to me "dude look what your girlfriend posted on instagram" as if I am supposed to get upset, and in many cases them telling me this actually caused me to blindly get upset and controlling with my spouse. I have been pretty distant from that culture and mindset for about 3 years now and I have seen a lot of progression. However, I know for a fact this false sense of "owning" the person I am with is not completely gone and it is still slightly controlling my relationships. It is not fair for any person that I am with to have to deal with this because of my past and the environment I was raised in. Has anyone experienced anything like this before, and what practical steps did you take to get out of that mindset.

I'd say it's the exact opposite, younger girls are usually simply looking to accumulate new experiences (first time kissing, having sex, etc.). As adults most women will literally ask a man "what do you want from this", mainly due to the fact that they've had a lot of experiences and at this point in their life they know what they want, so unless it's a serious relationship that they can eventually see themselves turning into a marriage they will probably not have those one-night stands. Now these are not laws, they are just true based off my experiences.

I've been experimenting with cold pick-up for the past few weeks and have noticed something. I don't have a hard time convincing myself to approach, and for the most part, don't have a hard time keeping the conversation going and eventually closing (getting the #). However, things always seem to quickly die down over text, even with the girls that seemed really interested in person. For the veteran PUA's out there, how do you approach the situation after you've gotten the number?

@Good-boy That is a lot easier said than done haha. But I do agree, I think if I had more options readily available to me things would be a lot easier to deal with. I've just never been too crazy about RSD and stuff of that nature, probably just a fear tbh. It also hurts knowing that she'd have such an easy time since has so many friends and options.

@outlandish Yeah, we don't live in the same place and its been that way for 2 years. But the first year was when I moved out, and I still kept in touch with her often and everything was normal. Then this year is the year she moved away and all this happened. But i think you're right, I'm attached to an old version of her, a version that was pretty unexposed to anything, so I guess this is the real her when has opportunities.

Honestly Charlotte, I do definitely still love her, but to sit here and say that I love her unconditionally would be a stretch. There are numerous conditions that I'm sure would make me lose my love for her. But I feel like I'm attached to the version of herself that I had been with for 3 years, and not the one that she is now. She used to be the kindest soul and would honestly do everything in her power not to hurt me and to keep me happy. Ironically now it really feels like the opposite, for example, when I talked to her the other day she was mentioning how guys were all over her at the club and all the details. She knows me better than anyone and knows that me picturing those scenes would hurt me, yet she insisted on it. I feel weak that I cant let go of her and accept that shes a changed person, I just keep holding on to that 1% chance that I'll get that version of her that I was so in love with. Apologies for the long read.