Waken

Hi Nivsch, I might be able to relate to your experience. I've tried many things and sometimes something works at a time, but doesn't seem to work quite another time. Maybe you tried to self-love yourself, even while you didn't really feel that because you wanted that to remove the fear? Perhaps sometimes we hear that self-love can heal us, and so we think that if we just self-love ourselves it will solve it, even when that doesn't really feel good to do. In that case, it might come closer to trying to force love onto ourselves instead an actual act of self-love. Not saying that's what you're doing per sé. I think it might be good to listen to your emotional guidance system to what feels good. If you would focus on giving yourself what feels good, then would you do things differently? Somethings you could try: Acknowledge how you feel about the issue, state your emotional position about it, then after you expressed these feelings, find thoughts that make you feel better, that give relief. When emotions arise, you can also just focus on something that makes you feel better, sometimes I put my focus on a sense of well-being that's in experience, but more strongly in the body. Actually there is also something called the 'focus wheel' by abraham hicks, that I tried recently and seemed quite powerful to work on a specific subject. Wishing you well

Okay, sounds good. I can't talk much about that since I didn't watch him much, but I like that you use the word alignment there. I still prefer other sources, but that doesn't mean he can't be the best thing on someone else's path.

@The0Self It seems to me that you're measuring someone based on the information he's saying. Or more accurately, I suspect you might be measuring (at least to some degree) based on how deep you interpret his explanations of what life is are. To me, that's a big no, and not at all what I'm looking for. Something I heard Matt Kahn say a couple of days ago, which resonated was something like: "not measuring how far someone is based on what someone is saying, but by the quality of the thoughts they are expressing or embodying." Frankly, I might have given that sentence my own spin a bit based on how I understand things, but I think that's much better. It's not about how "deep" someones thoughts are, but about his actual experience, his actual vibrations he's giving out. If you're looking at someones information, you're focusing on a small part of him, so to speak, if you focus on the energy he's expressing, you're focused on the total. Imagine someone who doesn't increase his depth of explanation in a period, but heals lots of his traumas and his whole experience has become expressing much more of a loving energy. If you're focused on someones information, you might then think that he didn't get any more advanced, while he is actually doing much better.

But if this method is taken up by someone who actually doesn't feel like doing it because he's trying to make it happen, it actually is resistance and therefore not really the same as letting go of control @Mason Riggle Love it

From 1:20 your question is answered by Bashar. Love listening to him. 'you don't need to make it work, the machine works. Let it work, let it work'

Like @hyruga said. I've a website on Wix, it's a free thing still, but when I expand it a little more and feel like it I can always buy a domain. Now I can add something when I like to, and don't have to worry about anything

lol, that gave me a laugh

@Raptorsin7 Well, I have a quite strong preference for feeling peaceful and am fairly cautious and avoidant for people who I feel can have some sort of unstable anger leashes or something manipulative. Bentinho makes me feel a bit cautious that way. Same as with teal swan, but Bentinho gives me more of a vibe which I relate to a sense of dominance and like a sort of wanting to maintain power or so. Not saying he's bad news though, perhaps it's all not that bad, but it doesn't feel for me

Well if you just keep looking into it like you did, it will clear up more and more. 'the separate self' could be seen as like a combination of multiple beliefs, with 'I'm a/the observer' as a part of it. You can clear it all out by just simply investigating like you already did. For example.. you say 'my brain', 'my head', can you find anything that the head would belong to, or could it also be seen as just a head? And what is 'head' in your experience when you close your eyes, can you notice that there are sensations, but that thought just adds the idea of a head to it? Can you even find anything that is doing is looking and investigating? Well.. if it attracts you to become clear on that you are not a person/that there is no person, you can pm me. I've been helping/guiding people get clarity on this topic on and (mostly) off in this topic for like 7 years. I love doing it

Well I don't think you have to struggle to much with this. It's fine. Everybody has some things to work out. One of the things you could do if you like is just when an opportunity arises, share even just the tinniest bit more than you usually do. You could start easy, like sharing on the internet when it feels right, whatever. You keep doing that and after a while you find that you're actually much opener than you used to be.

My thoughts; just relax and go with the flow, with the current of creation. No need to try so hard. When resistant thoughts come up, perhaps take a look at it and let it go. When unpleasant emotions come up, instead of avoiding it, allow yourself to be present with it.

Doesn't resonate with me, but if it does for someone else that's great

simply being fully yourself. meaning to be aligned with the unique natural vibration that you are. Which is, what I would think, also what anybody here actually really wants, because that means being aligned with what feels good. That doesn't mean at all growth/more has stopped. Pushing spirituality is a contradiction. But hey, when you're really anxiously trying to get to some ego/mind made fantasies, you might just feel the tendency to flat out ignore statements such as that:)

The "cat" is just life/seeing/sight/color/consciousness, happening nowhere without observer. With other words you don't experience objects, that's just adding the idea of a backside, weight, function, etc to the experience. The sight/color/cat/etc doesn't travel to a brain or whatever to be processed, it is just there. There is no subject-object split, it's all wraped up as one

I can appreciate your time and energies to help. Your writings to me seem to be able to increase a sense of understanding and well-being. But sometimes behaviors from parents and friends are just not expressing love or care and aren't conducive for someones well-being at all. Of course that doesn't mean that they don't also have love for us. Valuing a someones nature, choices and boundaries to me seem to express love. Parents may know better how to survive in this world than a child, and their help then is of course very useful, but that's different than control. Sometimes it's just best to leave an environment instead of trying to speak right behaviors of control or manipulation. That of course doesn't at all mean that you can't choose for your own well-being and choose to think loving thoughts about your parents or whoever still, they still have their traumas to heal and their journey to go through after all.

Wow, your story baffled me. I can definitely relate, but perhaps your story is even a bit more intense. From your story it seems to me that you've grown up in an environment with some manipulation going on, as so many on this world have experienced. The thing that I would like to tell you is that I could understand it if you have gotten the idea from that whole situation you've been in for all of your years that you are 'off' in some ways, have uncertainties and that you don't know what the 'best choices' are (for you). I would vote for choosing whatever feels best to you, whatever gives you a sense of relief, whatever your hearts desire is so to speak. I'm in a situation too where I might make a certain choice and in my mind I hear the judgement from certain family members about it when I contemplate the choice. However, I've come to stand much stronger in what resonates to me, and don't buy suggestions from others anymore that "they know what's best for me". I'm even dropping listening to my own thoughts about what's best for me, and am getting stronger attuned to what choices feel best in the body instead. I think I saw a message in this thread about confronting them and trying to change the relationship dynamics. Ugh.. sounds struggly. If you would ask me I would suggest taking the path of least resistance, and that might mean to just get out of the whole situation. You can just feel what option feels like having most relief in it. You might like to consider that holding grudges or resentment against others isn't what will make you feel really good though. Perhaps express your judgements about it if you feel that releases it, and after that seek thoughts about the situations that will give you even more relief. Turn what happened in the past into wisdom, love and understanding, and then you might come to see what happened as a big gift in domains such as self empowerment.

I texted with a girl/woman who was exploring polygamy, and she said she liked it so far. She proposed me that we could just let life flow and see how we felt to relate to each other (if at all). I resonated with her ideas about that. That eventually resulted to us not talking anymore because we both probably didn't quite feel it. I don't think you need to think on it so much, but just feel what feels best for you. For me the idea of having a love relationship with a single person currently feels best

I sleep about 8 hours. I think in general the less sleep you need, it could mean that you are more in tune with your soul/inner being/natural state. I'm however also a fairly sensitive person, and have heard they need more sleep.

Well, I don't think you have to understand where it comes from. Something that you could do it just to reach for better feeling thoughts about the subject when you feel the judgement coming up. Perhaps start with statements that express how you feel and then work your way to better thoughts (over time): 'she shouldn't just have sex with others', 'I feel disdain that this girl has had (causal) sex' 'I can't do anything about it', 'it's not really my problem', 'what she does is her business', 'maybe she has just been figuring out how to do her life', 'I don't really know why I feel this strongly about it', 'maybe I make it a bigger problem than it is', 'of course it doesn't really matter what she's has done, only that we can have a good time', 'I like that she is honest with me about these things', 'she seems really nice'. Those are just examples. It can be quite fun to move yourself to better feeling thoughts. When old ways of feeling come back, you know how to get back to good feeling thoughts again and you can use the approach to anything

My thoughts and how I see it: you are always creating yourself and life reflects and supports the energy you choose/are. If you are reaching for something that is -for probably most here anyway- an activity that is anxious and not relaxed. Just think of your usual drive for reaching a state or whatever it is and see how that feels in the body. If that's the choice you make, that's the energy you practice making more and more strongly 'you'. Perhaps life is then also reflecting that energy back to you and you find more reasons to keep going down that path. What you really want is just to feel good, and what feels good is what's natural to you. Stressing, chasing and achieving are energies that are something else than what you want and therefore not a very wise choice to practice. If you align your actions and thoughts with what feels good, you are then setting up a good feeling you/state for now and also setting it up for the future. Life can then support your choice of alignment with yourself/what feels good and then 'flows' you down the path of least resistance to all you really want. With other words; relax, think thoughts that feel good, that give relief, choose what feels good, no need to try so hard.

I usually just sit and close my eyes and be present with the energy I feel. When there are many thoughts I either hold the focus on the aliveness I feel in the body, or I think thoughts that feel pleasant. I wouldn't be too busy or concerned with 'what is the most effective meditation technique', because that idea itself probably contains some tension for you and if you practice that idea you just practice that tension. Just relaxing and not worrying too much feels more at ease, and thereby you create ease over time. I think it's a good thought that whatever makes you feel best (thus not trying too hard) will be most effective, because it is most you. Whatever technique is the most attractive to you -not one that hypes up the mind per sé, but the one that feels most pleasant in your body- might be the best option to choose for you, because the attraction tells you it's aligned with you. Just my 2 cents:)

Well, in the end what's causing you to feel bad is not how you look or how (you think) others perceive you, but how you think (about yourself). Perhaps because of your belief of being ugly, you are attracting situations that are reflecting that belief back to you. I can imagine that to be a heavy burden, to think of yourself such a way. An important point for you would be to change the way you look at yourself, to think kinder to/over yourself. Find thoughts about yourself that make you feel better, and perhaps than you'll attract people in your life that will reflect that new energy back to you. You could also use the thought that you are not the body, (p.s. you're really not that body lol), so it's actually not even you. That body is just something you're wearing. I just say that because it might give a little relief, but of course the most loving thing you could do is to learn to love yourself just the way you are. Again, I think if you look at what you really want, that you might find that what you really want is not a girlfriend or such, but just to feel good. And that you can control. Hope that helps a little

I would suggest a slightly more gentle approach. Of course, there are other ways to go about it, but this is something I feel is real good and loving way to go about life. Okay, so if you hold this thought: "I need to let go of my past mistakes and ...", how does that feel? Hard? Heavy? Struggle? And how Do these thoughts feel: "Maybe I don't have to make myself feel so much struggle", "Maybe I don't have to try so hard in order to feel good", "Maybe I only have to be more gentle and loving with myself". So how does those thought feel? Stressful, stuggly and heavy again? How about thinking thoughts that make you feel relief, starting from what feels true for you and then moving towards finding more good feelings thoughts (over time) that give you relief, like: "I don't always feel good about myself" "I'm trying to do my best though", "I know it doesn't really matter what others think about me, only how I think to myself", "I'm not doing so bad" "I'm here to learn all this and have plenty time to sort it all out", "I like it to feel better and better about myself". That's something I've picked up from Abraham Hicks (channeled material), and if you feel attracted to this approach you could for example read the 'astonishing power of emotions'. However, your message does feel to have this "I'm wanting and am motivated to really make my life happen"-energy that so many people have, that I think perhaps you won't take the bait of a more gentle approach lol. But.. finding better feeling thoughts like just described, I think is much better 'thought art' than the sloppy thought thoughts expressed in your text.. ;-)

Liked it, thank you

@Alysssa Love it, especially that I think you stick really close to expressing to what you feel is you