VeganAwake

Sure! Still feeling like an awakening happened for you even though you was seen to be a conditioned illusion. Decisions being made faster and without much effort which can come off as very egotistical. Feeling stuck between two realities. (awakened & asleep) Feeling separate and alone even though separation was seen to be unreal. Wanting to jump on a flight somewhere and start a new life. Wanting to change your name and identity or wanting to disappear. Wanting to travel and find others that have had similar experience. Feeling like I alone know the truth and others are completely ignorant of this truth. Wanting to do things that felt off limits or wrong prior to awakening. ❤

Honestly a lot of weird things can happen. If you have someone that can keep an eye on you and simultaneously let things unfold for you, that would be a good option. There isn't exactly any one solution I'm sure you have realized. ❤

That's completely normal. Energy will be getting thrown all over the place for a while. It will take some time for those patters to wear down. It can feel like your stuck in between two realities for months. As the self wears down, less and less energy will be put into these habitual patterns. But these patterns can and usually change greatly when there is no longer anyone entering them. ❤

Well that clear realization would be the end of the conditioned idea of good and bad. But that doesn't mean that the body would become ignorant of the fact that if it doesn't follow societies rules it can be thrown into jail or cause relationship disruptions and such. ❤

There is no such thing as enlightenment because enlightenment is the realization that the apparent individual which attempts to become enlightened or believes he/she is already enlightened, isn't real at all!! Meaning it's a seemingly real experience but within a misunderstood reality. Example: If your parents convinced you from birth that the outdoor oxygen was deadly and kept you locked in the basement for 19 years there would be all kinds of seemingly real experiences during those 19 years, probably most of them not very pleasant. Then one day the basement window shatters and the outside wind comes roaring into the basement and you are able to breath this oxygen without issue. Your entire paradigm/belief system is shattered & yet there is still the conditioned memories of all those past experiences when you believed the outside oxygen was deadly. An entire reality was experienced but within completely unreal circumstances/beliefs. So it was a seemingly real experience but under completely unreal circumstance. Making that experience REAL & UNREAL simultaneously. This is what enlightenment is like only the seemingly real individual (me/you) with all its conditioned beliefs and concepts, was never real from the start. It was an illusion of self within that organism there. What a mindfuck right? ❤

It could be recognized that the only thing that wanted to become a saint were patterns of conditioned thoughts. That recognition can happen anytime anywhere spontaneously! ❤

Maybe it only feels mindfucking when your constantly attempting to squeeze everything into a conceptual box and put it on the shelf of understanding. Everything don't fit on a shelf, and it can't be pinned down or hung on a nail either. Just sitting back and saying WOW!! ❤

But what if that got boring after a while and you wanted to start shaking things up a bit for entertainment ? hehe. ❤

But there not actually contradicting the present moment, there happening with the present moment or with everything as I like to say. Nothing is separate or excluded. Awakening is not exclusive, it's inclusive! The inclusive IS, IT, BEING, EVERYTHING, THIS!! ❤

Well it's what the sentence attempts to point out which is neither complex nor simplistic. It points to everything simultaneously being nothing, without separation or non-dual. This kind of freedom is actually the goal of all religions but over thousands of years it's become spiritual materialism.... in other words diluted which is also not right or wrong.... it's just what apparently seems to be happening!! ❤

Osho once said that all the three main religions born out of India Buddhism Jainism Hinduism are intended to create an inner zero..... nothingness as Buddha called it apparently! I just watched that Osho video which is why I mentioned it ❤

Exactly, like creatures of habit! ❤

Yeah man I've been there and I feel for you. The mind wants to find an answer that brings clarity and peace. And it always feels like it's on the cusp of figuring everything out. There isn't an answer but it can be recognized that the very one desperately seeking for an answer is an illusion! And then BOOM, there's just everything without separation! ❤

I really resonate with this...& agreed!! Here is something I remembered hearing from that Samadhi film a few years back...kinda relevant!! "The ego construct is nothing more than the impulse to repeat. It is simply the path that energy once took and the tendency for the energy to take that path again, whether it is positive or negative for the organism". ❤

Nice, Here I would describe identification like an unexplored assumption or misunderstanding, a real & unreal experience.... J krishnamurti & Osho had a lot of great discussions in this area! It seems difficult to point out because it's not a particular thing, it's a bunch of smaller things that seem to make up this big unreal identity construct. And it's more of an internal recognition as opposed to an external behavioral change. For example: An apparent someone who recognizes their personalized identification as unreal, will still remember how to sell real estate, save money or operate a crane, still prefer white rice over brown or coffee over tea. What I'm saying is there will still seem to be a character with a personal identification or preferences. In other words it wouldn't be able to be pointed out! As far as identification taking the form as nothing, well that just wouldn't be nothingness. But it could be a concept of it. ❤

Never really thought about it that way, very interesting. ? Here it kind of felt like constricted or trapped energy in the body which was upholding this self construct was released back into everything. And so in that sense it would be completely normal to feel like the identity shifted from the body/mind organism back into infinity or something. Just became obvious that this identity game was complete BS. ? ❤

Then that is what is being experienced there. It's whole, complete and perfect. ?

I will do my best to explain this experience: Your mother's body gave birth to that body there. It was given a name, birth certificate and social security number. And from a very young age that body was told that it was a separate individual named wally.(let's call it wally for communication purposes?) Everything the wally body experiences and learns, enhances wally's 'sense of self'. As the wally body grows and experiences, so does wally's 'sense of self'. The wally 'sense of self' experience also gives rise to the experience of other 'separate self's' out there in the world.(mirror effect) The wally body feels like, I am here and everything else is out there. One day the wally body starts feeling separate and alone, like something is missing and so it starts looking for something to remedy this situation.(seeking) One day the wally body hears about something amazing called spiritual enlightenment. This must be the answer the wally body exclaims!!! So the wally body starts watching videos and reading spiritual texts. It starts meditation and jumping through all kinds of spiritual hoops which it has heard could bring about spiritual enlightenment for wally. But what the wally doesn't recognize is that this Entire set-up of feeling separate and alone & that something is missing is a complete False Claim or Misunderstanding. See wally isn't actually real. He feels real and separate but this is an illusion of the wally self. See nothing that the wally body learned or experienced growing up actually equals or amounts to a real separate wally individual. There IS a real conditioned body called wally but that centered innermost sense of individuality is just an illusory construct held within the wally body's mind. In fact if that wally body hits its head hard enough, it could completely forget its entire conceptual identity. Simply put: Anything that wally attempts to do to attain so-called spiritual enlightenment, only reinforces and sustains the illusion of wally being a real separate individual in the first place. So in that sense the entire spiritual paradigm is dualistic and completely useless. Why? Because there NEVER was a separate wally in the first place that even could become spiritually enlightened. There is no separate wally self; there is no thing that realizes its not the wally self; there is no thing that realizes it's everything; and there is no thing that realizes its nothing. It was all just Maya, the illusion of the self spinning in circles. Meaning nothing ever actually happened, it only seemed to. It's freedom for No One!! Which is simultaneously nothing and everything!! ❤

That is still just the illusion of self but now identifying as everything. It's a very sneaky illusion in that sense. This is the apparent issue of not cleary seeing through or uprooting this illusion of self in initial self enquiry. It's what's often referred to as spiritual ego. It will convincingly say, well since I'm not the limited human body-mind organism, I must be everything then, I must be that which holds said phenomenon. Simply put: When the ego senses it's demise/recognition of its own unreality, it scrambles under the radar for its new higher proclaimed identity. This new special identity is Spiritual Ego sometimes called the higher self.....but it's just Ego functioning extra sneakily. ❤

@Aaron p Check out books by J Krishnamurti. This topic was his forte!! ❤

This is interesting and I totally get what your saying. You are really giving ego to much credit and awakening to much specialness though. It's just a simple recognition that this sense of self / ego isn't a real entity. Just a hey, this big important me isn't actually there.... it's an illusion of self. Sure when this is clearly recognized it can take some time to unravel and it can feel really strange and or relieving for a while. I like to describe it as ordinary and simultaneously extraordinary. ❤

The body!!

Nothing is necessary because the question arises out of an illusory-like experience of separation where meaning, purpose & value seem real. Awakening reveals the questioner or individual within the body isn't real. Nonduality is already everything without a second. No real you or me....no real separation....boom nonduality! ❤

Yeah man...there is only what seems to be happening! It's a real mind-f*** because it really seemed like there was a me making progress on the so-called spiritual journey.....now that whole experience felt like a ghost running on a treadmill. Nobody was getting anywhere ? ❤

Have you tried dumping all that conditioned spiritual materialism yet? Are you capable of dropping all that so-called spiritual knowledge which you so desperately cling to and identify with? Not dropping it because someone recommended you to.... Dropping it because it is clearly seen to be complete BS. Do you fear that reality as you know it will be turned upside down and unravel underneath your feet? Well that's exactly what awakening feels like at first. It's not exactly an endeavor for the faint-hearted. But what's longed for isn't a something to be found. What's longed for is the end of the experience that something is missing. What's missing is the realization that nothing is missing. Like a carrot dangling in front of the donkey's nose, the illusory seeker seeks and seeks and seeks to no end, and whatever is found along the way only temporarily satisfies its unquenchable desire. You see if it ever found satisfaction, it would be the end of the seeker & the experience that something needed to be found/discovered/attained. For the seeker the answer always lies just outside of its reach, just up ahead in the next spiritual book or text or perhaps during the next trip or next meditation session. This seeking energy is real but under the false assumption that wholeness is somewhere else. THIS is already whole and complete & it can't be found anywhere else because it's already all that there is. ❤