VeganAwake

Yup, and that process feels like a slow rebalancing of energy distribution. The self character isn't forgotten. It’s been at the forefront of the mind for a very long time and there are long-term habits/preferences still intact. Some of those things change rather quickly and some don't. The things that did change quickly seemed to be directly tied to that conditioned self character.......for example the self guilt about desperately needing to advance my rank in the military to keep up with the competition, that almost dropped immediately. Also my fitness goals changed really quickly. The entire concern about upholding my overall professional image dropped basically. As far as the acting out roles thing.....its similar to an actor/actress playing a fictional character. The actor knows the character isn't real, but when they are playing the role, it's almost as if the body's energy brings it to life. Something that wasn't expected was how clearly the understanding is of how this sense of self becomes so prevalent in each body/mind. It's like everything changes and nothing changes. I didn't stop being a father, in fact it's much better because there isn't a me trying to play out my hopes and dreams through my boys. It's easy to tell what they are interested in......just have to pay attention to them!

Frustrated narcissism coupled with little person syndrome: I'm everything, i'm not insignificant in the big scheme of reality. Why? Because I said so and that proves it. Behold my powers and witness my infinite intelligence. See those clouds and lightning over there.......im doing that!!! Prove me wrong!!! 🤣

There doesn't need to be another pov. The freedom is not knowing. Leave it empty please

I see, Interesting because it wasn't actually obvious right at first. You caught that lol. At first, it was still assumed to have been there for as long as I could remember, even though it had become obvious that it wasn't currently real. It was quite possibly somewhere around 18 months later, when it became totally clear that it was never actually there from start...... it had just seemed to be there. The self character isn't totally forgotten. In fact the body can still play the role of that character almost perfectly because there had been identification as that self for so long. The difference is that character is completely understood to be fiction, so things aren't taken so seriously, there is no loger getting stuck in that drama play. It's freedom from the seriousness of that identification, but for nobody. Like energy just acting out roles. Certain memories can get fuzzy though, as if the recognition effects them a bit. Definitely not like amnesia or anything though 🤔

I've definitely closed some gaps in my day

It's definitely an interesting belief system. What is the key takeaway if there is one? What is the importance of recognizing: "the self is not the reality, it's the reality expressed as a self, knowing that it is: What does it matter and whom does is matter for? Is there any benefit to this apparent realization, or is it just truth for truth sake?

"Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown" - William Shakespeare

Who knows it? What exactly is that which claims to know these so-called facts? I just wouldn't describe it as knowledge. It's more like a description of reality after all the conditioned beliefs, concepts, stories, assumptions crumble away. But I can understand how that would seem like a knowing of sorts. I would admit a master auto mechanic has the knowledge about the total functioning of certain vehicles. It's happening directly in front of him, he can see everything live in action as it happens. But I don't actually know reality, & I'm certainly not the totality of it. It was here doing its thing long before this body learned its human name and how to go pee pee in the toilet without splashing everywhere.

Totally agree 🤙

I stumbled onto his videos on YouTube while looking for someone who had a similar experience around 2019 At first I thought the guy was crazy. It sounded foreign or something, but I could hear the sincerity in his voice and see it in his body language. After a little bit of getting used to his language/articulation it was like : "holy shit, this guy is describing an almost identical situation to mine here, but using different verbiage" It's a trip!

Yeah, it's all of those things and I suspect its a little different for each body. That lived sense of self will never dissolve entirely, it's energy flow is to habitual, but it can seem to loosen up and feel lighter. Here it wasn't anything physical initially. It was seeing/realizing this sense of myself wasn't as solid as it had once seemed to be. Like a glimpse at first, then little by little, over a period of a couple days, it started to become obvious that it wasn't actually there or real. Like the sense of self went from a sturdy brick house to a wobbly house of cards in days. And at a certain point, it became obvious that it never was. Everything felt lighter and less serious almost immediately. The energy put into the clinch of this self illusion is incredible, and weirdly only really noticeable after it relaxes.

That logic sounds very circular and smells of buddhism. One of the reasons awakening is so radical is because it completely disregards the knower as real and credible. The knower there, being the Breakingthewall character and everything that identification believes it knows or has acquired since young age. That's why it's often referred to as unknowing. It's rare because this identification is so solid and habitual it's damn near impossible to see through it.......some say nobody ever sees through it!......that the seeing through it is simultaneously the end of it!

Yeah, I totally get what you mean, there's only so many words that seem like they match best to the situation. Probably sounds like a copycat. The sense of self doesn't actually break or die because it's not real. Those are just the words attempting to describe how it seems. At least here, it was a clear recognition that carries with it the ability to slowly strangle/deflate the self illusion. Writing a long example about yourself is kind of like an exercise to reveal how much of its concept is just assumed and in the head. Interestingly here, a lot of the "sense of self" was descriptions heard from other people over the years and just assumed to be a me.