VeganAwake

Yeah, it's all of those things and I suspect its a little different for each body. That lived sense of self will never dissolve entirely, it's energy flow is to habitual, but it can seem to loosen up and feel lighter. Here it wasn't anything physical initially. It was seeing/realizing this sense of myself wasn't as solid as it had once seemed to be. Like a glimpse at first, then little by little, over a period of a couple days, it started to become obvious that it wasn't actually there or real. Like the sense of self went from a sturdy brick house to a wobbly house of cards in days. And at a certain point, it became obvious that it never was. Everything felt lighter and less serious almost immediately. The energy put into the clinch of this self illusion is incredible, and weirdly only really noticeable after it relaxes.

That logic sounds very circular and smells of budism. One of the reasons awakening is so radical is because it completely disregards the knower as real and credible. The knower there, being the Breakingthewall character and everything that identification believes it knows or has acquired since young age. That's why it's often referred to as unknowing. It's rare because this identification is so solid and habitual it's damn near impossible to see through it.......some say nobody ever sees through it!......that the seeing through it is simultaneously the end of it!

Yeah, I totally get what you mean, there's only so many words that seem like they match best to the situation. Probably sounds like a copycat. The sense of self doesn't actually break or die because it's not real. Those are just the words attempting to describe how it seems. At least here, it was a clear recognition that carries with it the ability to slowly strangle/deflate the self illusion. Writing a long example about yourself is kind of like an exercise to reveal how much of its concept is just assumed and in the head. Interestingly here, a lot of the "sense of self" was descriptions heard from other people over the years and just assumed to be a me.

Is it more that just an identification with thinking? Does it create a physical experience in the body and what is that experience?

Unknowing is similar to not taking a position on a topic but still being engaged. Similar to watching the NFL without having a team. It allows a big picture focus instead of getting tunnel vision on teams and players. But its also not denying the role of the players and teams. We aren't trying to crucify or demonize this "sense of self", we are just watching it, seeing how it labels and takes ownership. Shining a light on it to see if it's actually real

If it's conditional is it love?

I would be suspicious of anyone describing reality that way. It would sound like a blind total denial of sorts. Physical reality is wild and crazy, it's over the top radical and spontaneous. The human languages can't even come close to doing it justice. An explosion of lights, colors, sounds, smells, crazy looking creatures, amazing plant life, infinite cosmos and the mystery of the unknown. But simultaneously its empty of certain qualities which humans try to superimpose onto reality like importance or value and purpose. It's empty and full. Empty of meaning and purpose. It doesn't have an end goal or agenda to stick to. It doesn't need or require anything to be a certain way. It's already complete in other words. It's already everything and lacks nothing. Full because it's all encompassing/all inclusive and excludes nothing. As conditioned humans we attempt to understand and know what reality is. We try to force meaning onto reality by way of our perspectives/prerogatives. The sense of self is that which experiences suffering and becomes defensive if another body calls it a stupid ass. Sit and write an entire page describing yourself in detail minus the physical body..........that's at least what I refer to as the "sense of self"

My view is that reality doesn't have a prerogative. It doesn't have an end goal it's trying to reach. Humans just project those qualities onto reality. There definitely seems to be a survival quality but it's more like a programed instinct rather than intelligent decision making. And obviously within reality there are biological creatures that appear to be self aware or self conscious, but there isn't an all encompassing consciousness or universal consciousness actually happening. The identification of Being this conscious universal reality it what I totally disagree with. That identification aspect was clearly recognized here to be completely illusory. It's like a delusional exaduration of the self illusion (spiritual ego) We don't have to agree on these points.........reality still flows regardless!!!

Reality IS limited then because it cant become unaware of itself being all of reality any longer 😝

The really shocking part is that it never actually started. It only seems to! That's typically only recognized clearly when it dies.

That doesn't include the tip!

I never said reality is an illusion. I said the identification that believes it's the reality being aware of itself, is an illusion. That experience of being self aware and conscious, is just the body's senses coupled with the conditioned imagination of the body. Basically that body's mind over there has become an entity in-of-itself. It has convinced itself that it is all of reality. What's being said here is that is not the case, it's a very tiny piece within reality, but it's not all of reality itself. The source that claims I'm fucking reality being aware of itself, is completely unreal! I'm sorry Breakingthewall self illusion. You are not all of reality. It's a tough fact to grasp. It can feel like the rug was pulled out from under you and that you've been bamboozled for year's. Fortunately I offer counseling at the reasonable price of only $200 an hour to help you through this disidentification process 🤑

Again, it must be convenient to have instant amnesia for the things said there. I just think what's talked about here, triggers and frustrates the self illusion there. It goes against its illusory framework or paradigm. It threatens its own reality and entire fantastical belief system of being all of reality(undercover delusional narcissism). YOU ARE NOT ALL OF REALITY! THAT WHICH BELIEVES IT IS, IS A GIANT INFLATED SPIRITUAL EGO/SELF ILLUSION. THAT EXACT IDENTIFICATION THATS SAYING "I AM THAT", IS THE SELF ILLUSION. GET IT!!! And of course everything said here sounds the same and gets boring. The communication doesn't change or offer anything to that stubborn self illusion. It's a completely uncompromising communication. It would be strange and very questionable if the communication changed drastically over time, wouldn't it? What's being communicated here is timeless. It doesn't change depending on how many psychedelic drugs/trips have taken place, and steered the imagination drastically. And of course a confident communication that completely denies the existence of that identity is going to be attacked and labeled as malarkey. That's it's main defense mechanism. If it can undermine the credibility of the messenger, it doesn't have to take seriously the implications of the message. ❤️

There just isn't a you period. That which feels like a separate person within the body or as the body, isn't actually there, it just seems so. The truth will set you free because there wasn't a you from the start 😉