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You have to eliminate the contact a 100%, every fucking photo, facebook message will trigger you. Also every thought will trigger your feelings, eliminate them through accepting it will never happen. If you keep your hope, you keep the feelings too. The problem is your self-esteem, not that you need anyone to complete you.

Dude let it go. Depending on how old you are (probably in your teens?), the chemical reaction involved with being in love with a girl is brain melting. I experienced this myself, you suffer and suffer on and on and hope for something which will never happen, she is not the only one, you can experience the positive part of your feelings with someone else without any problem. Self-esteem is the problem, work on this and concentrate on yourself. Don't attach yourself to someone just because you think no other girl is there for you, there is. Forcing another person into a relationship will only create more suffering. And when you quit it, quit for good and that's it, no fucks given, or the unpleasant journey starts again.

This: And the Tinnitus afterwards, mmmmhhh!

I've tried psilocybe cubensis and LSD. LSD was more mild on the body, probably because it's a pure substance and not a substance mix like a mushroom. I felt an extreme "oneness" on LSD, it was comforting and i felt love for every being on earth. In my opinion, if the dosage is high enough, your mental filters will break down and you will experience a sort of "ego-death", but in such a way, that it is overwhelming and very hard to cope with, conclusion is i learned much more from meditation and mindfullness than from all the trips i had. It was impossible for me to integrate the experiences i had into my life/philosophy because you certainly are intoxicated when using this stuff, it does not feel clean, i didn't feel that i have done my body and mind a favor and the cost/benefit wasn't worth it. Through mindfullness and meditation the experience is clean, the knowledge you gain is gradually evolving and you grow with practice, much more rewarding than a trip. But certainly there are people who gained knowledge from using this stuff, or else there would be no tradition using mushrooms in Peru or Ayahuasca in Brazil.

"Believe those who seek the truth, doubt those who find it; doubt all, but do not doubt yourself." André Gide

"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free, that your very existence is an act of rebellion" A. Camus "True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing." Socrates

Been there, this lack of motivation hits many of us in the same age. If you can't see a goal you get nihilistic about your future and that's dangerous. Motivation is powerful, but it is just a feeling you have which makes it easier, if you decide to go through a wall no matter how you feel it becomes obsolete. What worked for me: the path is the goal, it is all about getting your ass up and overcome the lack of motivation by simple action, don't overthink, act. Every time you get demotivated, recognize it, don't dwell on it because it starts to grow and you will get no where. Force yourself to get back on track. If you do this your personality and self-discipline will grow and as time passes by you find your goal, because you overcame adversity and start seeing what is important for you. It is like you stand in front of a wall and can't see what is behind, if you overcome the struggling you will grow and see what is your actual goal behind the wall. Good luck mate!

Really who cares about it, it is your choice, i think you overestimate the reaction of the people. Gossiping will always be there, with or without your nose job, if you lie about it you get in a situation which will put pressure on you, for no reason. Let the people talk, because they always will, you can not control this. Your self-image hinders you to accept this, telling you to be like this or like that.

I loved Seneca and Marcus Aurelius Meditations. Do you know Arthur Schopenhauer? Especially his "Aphorisms" and "Wisdom of Life" remind me of Seneca.

Tried noopept, effect was awesome felt like Einstein, but the side effects, oh boy, bad mood and libido dancing limbo. Sulbutiamine did nothing for me either. Bacopa monnieri extract daily elevated my ability to retain information quite well, it's effects are more subtile, and i don't feel drugged like i was on noopept.

Not comparing myself to others, only to my former self helped me a lot. It feels like i am not competing with others, just with myself.

Don't torture yourself and try quitting cold turkey, substitute with other sources of nicotine. I smoked for 10 years, there were times where i smoked almost a pack per day. Then i got myself a e-cigarette, it is important that you don't under dose the nicotine, your body has to feel that it gets the nicotine it needs from e-cigarettes/or other sources as well. You are addicted only to nicotine, but the severe effects on your health are caused by the 10.000+ chemicals forming when tobacco and cigarette paper are burned. If you substitute well, you can minimize the effects of withdrawal, most problems in quitting occur here, if you dose the substituted nicotine too low, you get withdrawal symptoms and you want to smoke again. After about 6 months smoking e-cigarette with nicotine doses appropriate to the doses i consumed through cigarettes i cycled the dose down, i am now clean since a year. Maybe this works for you too. edit: And in terms of pot: i switched to vaporizing, it eliminates the association with smoking and helped me to stay off the tobacco

@Valium I can relate to your problems dude, i got my self out of this vicious circle by understanding a few things. First your body is a machine, you feed it alcohol and your body will react. As a pharmacologist i can describe a few things that alcohol does to your body: in your Brain there is a receptor called GABAa, it regulates for example emotions, relaxation and anxiety, alcohol activates this receptor, therefore you feel relaxed short term, but excessive use/long term use will desensitize this receptor, you will feel anxious and dull if you quit automatically, and the circle starts again, you start drinking because you feel anxious and dull. Your problems are a function of your substance abuse and NOT caused by your personality. Quit drinking and using benzodiazepines (benzos activate GABAa too.. and desensitize it too; short term relaxation and anxiety free but long term the opposite!). This post is worth pure gold: http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic/54028-treating-anxiety-safely-effectively/ I recommend to you, stop using any substance described in this thread as promoting anxiety (direct or indirect). Get Bacopa monnieri extract (it will get your GABAa levels in order) and rhodiola rosea. These are no wonder-drugs, but they will definitely help you mid-term/long-term, without any side effects. If you can stay off the substance abuse, you can get Schizandra extract, check if you tolerate it well, it will help your liver to recover. edit: And for the rest: try to be independent, independent from "getting a girlfriend", "having friends" and so on, this will not make you happy unless you are happy all by your own, nothing can give you long-term happiness outside yourself, meditate (!) and banish the negative thoughts. You can do it!

You start to calm your mind, when you meditate, sensations of the body will become more intense because you become aware of them (for example a pain in the knee or your leg getting numb). Just try to observe the pain, the numbness, feel it and try not to react to it. If you do this long enough, feeling the tension of your muscle and observing it, it will fade away and you can go back to observe your breathing. You let go by doing this. Your mind telling you to switch position is like the usual monkey talk the mind creates, there is no need for it.

I meditate while lying, sitting/Lotus wrecks my back