Flare

@James Hunter There is a difference between a functional self and the "true self". (Just making things easier here in terms of terminology) Your functional self can still hold believes, as long you're not attached to them, and being able to cope with live.

Because there is no downside. Suffering is mostly created by fear, which psychologically always is the fear of death in the last place. Since you had the idea death is perfection, well guess what if you really believe it, your fear is gone. Your suffering ends. Happy life. Death would be a bad option after that, since it's indifferent and contains no joy. Guess what you're back at the start. without suffering by the way there is no joy. We're happy that we were pushed out of eden (metaphor obv). Living in a constant space of perfection kills your awareness and consciousness. By the way, logically your arguments make zero sense. There is such a high variance you're not right and death is not perfection. Logically just taking this variance doesn't make any sense. Don't be that arrogant to believe we as humans with our limited consciousness really got everything figured out or can make assumptions about death that go beyond daydreaming at this point in time.

@0ne You will find out anyway. Why don't find the beauty of life while you're here? If death should be perfection then you are free to do anything you want in this life.

Why is death perfection? For me it sounds like a thesis without evidence to be honest.

@100rockets Did you give Camus Sisyphus a read? (He used the old story as an metaphor) Life is absurd, but in seeing it as this you actually get to joy. By the way, I don't get it how you and others here can speak of a lie and "bs" neglecting happiness in the same sentence. Pure duality - nothing near awakening. If there is nothing true, there can be no lie. If there is no happiness, then there can't be any true depression. So why care anyway? Life can't be ugly if there is no good. Happiness does exist, it's something physical your consciousness is experiencing. Saying it doesn't exist is just as illusionary as clinging to it. Michel Foucault had the same ideas. Well turns out HIV isn't just a concept , sadly enough though - he was a real genius. Other point I don't get, you're trusting your critical thoughts but not the reality. Thoughts and especially language is a social construct. If you wanna cut a knife with itself I really wish you the best luck. It won't work. Question your thought as much as you question the "reality". It's nice to see trough some misconcepts that were inflicted on you since you're a child, but please don't be that one sided. I get it that the (first) liberation can be painful, but you're still clinging to what is causing the suffering which are in this case your thought. You're making up the "problem" where there is none. You're searching for an solution, stop that. Problems only exist when there can be a solution, otherwise there not problems but just thinks to accept. Try it. Accept things as they are, your ego is just telling you that the world should be different, when in case that's the real illusion. @Nahm Seems like a the state "drunk of emptiness". I actually really enjoyed this somehow. You literally don't care anymore.

First of all I really like you approach and your intention (which im guessing). But I got some logical points against the construct as whole, even though I think in the essence we would agree on the most points. So lets go: How do you know that for sure? That is a way to narrow kind of thinking. First of all, yes there are some theories about swarm thinking even mathematical ones. They say that the environment is shaping the action of so many animals that people believed they had a consciousness all together. However that is not true, the circumstance are the one's to blame. Your assuming "we" are fighting. There is no we or us, at least none that is fighting anything. Old things are replaced because we're constantly experiencing new black swans, if you wanna use the term by Taleb. (Black Swan = anything that happens we didn't know we didn't see coming) How can you say this for sure? If you don't study history backwards but forward, like people are experiencing it, no one was able to predict the future for sure. Your doing to the future what, most of us did to history. We rationalize it, like we rationalize our own behavior. (Erich Fromm) So sadly Marx and Hegel were wrong, even though the concepts are great and you can definitely learn from them. But again history is not (!) a narrow road. Or maybe it is, but to prove that you would need every information that exists. Hegel got a glimpse of that epiphany. If i gave 100 people 50k informations and told them to predict the future, they might feel overwhelmed. If I told them afterwards that 4 information where important to an certain event, they will think that they would have been able to predict it. Which in case they were not, obv. Theories are about consciousness wider than the personal experience are just fragile. You need to find one thing and the whole theory just implodes. Yes you may be able to build some kind of fractal structure out of personal/psychological knowledge but that is nearly impossible. Most likely you're just going to fall for the Gauß-Trap again. In which your 5% significant is still enough to blow your whole construct, if ever proven right. The next big shift will happen, when it will happen. We got absolutely no evidence about the future. Sorry if might been a little bit harsh here. But the problem is precisely that were trying to construct consciousness, press it into theories, see an awakening in the masses etc. We are destroying it completely, it is nothing you should intellectualize, it is something you should experience. That's where the magic lies. Trying to describe consciousness with words is like trying to see your own eyes, you won't be able to. Or as Zizek once put it: "For Lacan, language is a gift as dangerous to humanity as the horse was to the Trojans: it offers itself to our use free of charge, but once we accept it, it colonizes us." (I think you can find a similar Alan Watts Quote) Don't limit consciousness by trying to put in any definition. If the real awakening is happening, they will be no one anymore to talk about. Or as it is written in the Zhuangzi: "Show me the man who has forgotten words, so I might talk with him." The word awakening is one of the things keeping "us" away from awakening. Mood used to say this: "The world is full of buddhas but they're sleeping." @Nahm Haha new Neo, that would be it! I totally get what you meant with your analogy. You get a pn, I think were really drifting away from the actual topic. Greetings

@Nahm The word real is just as real as the world you're using it for.

@Nahm I'm actually not deep into quantum mechanics, I gotta admit. But this kind of thinking should still apply. Taleb take the most obvious example of the black swan, where before we explored Australia everyone, even every scientist, would tell you that they're only white swans. Because there are 3 kind of things; things we know, things we know we don't know and most importantly things we don't know we don't know. So the exploration of black swans changed everything we used to know about swans. Well yes, kinda simple example. But to make the point clear, I think this video gives a good idea. It's about which rule the numbers follow. As long as you don't know every single number in that is applying to this you actually can never be sure. Same goes to science. Imagine this: tomorrow you'll find that not only does 2x2 equals 4, it equals 7 as well. This won't make your first assumption false, but it would change the whole dynamic of mathematics, even though this is obviously not true and never will. But physics are by far more complex than mathematics. What happens if you find a particle which existence you can not possibly explain? It's not a fractal, following Mandelbrots theory (btw he used to be a good friend of Taleb), would this piece prove that there must be something like Genesis? Or does it just mean that the world just is? But most importantly coming back to the starting point, our horizon is only as far as our knowledge let him be. But it's behind this horizon where things might happen that would screw every scientific theory around. But the point is, as long you didn't reach the complete freedom (@Hegel) where you know exactly everything that exists, is happening etc. you will never be able to be 100% sure. Since that mysticism might not be that bad.

@Loreena @Nahm Thank you

@Nahm Did you give Nassim Nicholas Taleb a read? One new observation (in the extremistan) can destroy the whole concept made up by science so far, because you have a huge range of variables where a single adjustment or even new one can change everything.

@Nahm Either you don't really die since you just change your form. Death in a physical way is just change. Your part of the potential infinity. // or as everything only exists in your perception, your lifetime x equals Cantors Omega, which is the variable for the actual infinity, not the potential which is important in this case. So your time is just relative to potential infinity but not to the actual infinity which it would equal. But only if it's really true that everything only exists as long you can perceive it. In both cases death is nothing to be feared. In the second it doesn't even exist.

Really bizarre thread here. Many difficult believes flying around. @electroBeam You gotta be able to distinguish between love and attraction. Your love for your partner is the same as for your mother (maybe not as intense or even more intense), but hopefully your attracted to your partner (or girl you just met etc.) and not your mother. First is about spirituality and your own being, second can be achieved trough pure skills, even though it's a hell of a lot easier with inner game and it's way more healthy. By the way, that it would be a whole industry down the drain is not an argument. If the industry was shit and good at selling shit, it would still suck, even though many would fall for the trap. Example: McDonalds. Would you argue McDonalds is healthy then? Otherwise it would be down the drain. Pick up does work. You just have to see it for what it really is (for).

@Durka_Durka Well, rereading my last post it seem's that I was quite vague. Since english isn't my native language I apologize for it. First of all you need rationalizations, in some way. You as a human being will never fully understand on a deep level (you can only get this in an abstract way, similar to the infinity theory from Cantor) that you will never be able to see a situation (or whatever else) as it really is, since you can't see everything. If you wanna be able to know exactly where a billiard ball will land at it's 49th hit you will need to know everything that exists in the universe in a physical sense to predict it. (N. N. Taleb mentions this in one of his great books) Not including free will. Many of the things we're facing are far beyond more complex than this. What you need to do is to get rid of false rationalizing thoughts. -> I did this because of this (etc.), just suppressing your real intentions. There are rationalizations that just try to make things easier. Take them, your brain needs it, but be aware that it's a half fraud in a way. Cut off every rationalizing thought that you know is completely delusional. Some of them might even be true, but you'l never know. So it's mostly about being okay with complete uncertainty in some areas of life. Lot of abstract stuff, I'm sorry that I couldn't explain it in a shorter way.

@onacloudynight I actually had similar experiences. Similar in the way of the energy level not in the same social environment - I always was at home. It was during a time when I used to do Osho-Gebberish Meditation for 2 hours straight. (which has some similarities to Kundalini) To me it was fascinating, not damaging obvious because I had no direct downside, as you would described it but it kinda found it's way into my social life, where I was perceived as hyperactive out of nowhere. I always jumped out of the bed at 9 am feeling an energy getting me up, even when I went drinking and partying till 6 am. Best example was once when we went on a festival. Everyone was completely wasted and I just woke up and got energy like there was no tomorrow and like I had been to sleep for 20 hours straight. My gf then couldn't understand it, me neither. Hearing your experience now it does indeed make a lot of sense. For me they way I view it and the way I could use it as a resource is trying to control your energy. Your energy outburst is most likely comparable to beta waves. It is some sort of an frenetic energy, not controlled. Alpha waves are all about controlling the energy, going the middle way like Confucius would describe it. That's where Osho actually wants you to go. I think it has some obvious similarities to the description of an alpha male from Elliot Hulse where he describes Alphas as "Tender Aggressive". Meaning that they're alpha because they have the energy but they are holding it, controlling it and even holding it back. Thats why high energetic alpha males/energy is perceived as charismatic and frenetic beta energy is perceived as annoying because there is no power over it, you're not congruent. So you got the chance to get on an whole new energetic level, including your body etc. if can use this energy in your favor - it can be a huge resource. In this particular topic I'm not 100% sure if it's helpful, but I kinda feel like I can only share my experience and there is no "right" way to go about it, maybe understanding this is the way to get your energy handled. Everyone gotta figure this out for themselves. Best luck & wishes for your future mate!

Well let's get things clear here, even if it might sound a little harsh. I'm from Germany too (even used to life in Hamburg, what's going on here?) thinking about studying psychology/philosophy (loved both fields, since I was fifth-teen). I had the option to go to Berlin on a (beautiful) private university, which was kinda impossible duo to the price or do the same as you - studying online. Here is the point: psychology paying sucks. Opening your own office is going hand in hand with a huge risk. In addition to this there are a lot of people wanting to do clinical psychology, not mentioning the one who chose the path to study medicine in the first place. You might be screwed to get the job you want in the fields of psychology with your online bachelor in the first place. + Consider this, even if you it works. Do you think that with your experience you have right now you would be good psychologist? Or if you want anything clinical, do you consider yourself to beat any contenders in the economy, with that many limiting beliefs? This being said, since you mentioned you are (kinda) passionate about it, and if I did my mathematics right you will finish your bachelor degree in 1/1,5 year(s), throwing away your bachelor won't make anything better. It actually would make things worse. Since the space you're coming from is not very independent, entrepreneurship in any kind doesn't seem like an variable option. Since that your degree (sadly) matters. So I would recommend you to finish your degree and use the time you got while doing so to set up your life. If you wanna add another study/bachelor/Master, do so. A bachelor in psychology won't hurt you in any way. You even might get a better set up, for whatever you specifically choose to do with your life, which is in fact great. Wooho, many negative points, I'm sorry if I aimed to high. Let's go for constructive things: You need experience. Self development without action is a fraud. There is a law of use, information you suck up without acting on it will destroy you and drive you nuts. Having spiritual guidance can help you, but consider this: If you don't want to life live like Eckhart Tolle, you shouldn't put all you focus on spiritual work. It is very important and it's great to have, but can you imagine Eckhart acing life without his crowd of followers around him? Put him in a "normal" environment, he won't be that comfortable. But it was his decision to follow his path. Is this your path too? If not, spiritually alone won't solve anything. So get rid of your limiting believes (I know I put some up before, but you got to be realistic in some cases). As you described your body is screaming to do something different. Good. You got tons of drive there. Don't dwell on it, act on it. You're using meditation etc. to numb yourself from your drive. What a bad impact meditation can have in some cases. Consider this: Yes you are behind. But that's where your drive comes from. You yourself are trying to overcompensate it. Stop oppressing it. You are blessed. Many of us that doesn't face this kind of frustration never overcompensate, since that you got the ability to get more understanding, more skills, to reach higher goals, than most of us can. Maybe try to get in a state, where you didn't suppress anything and read your text again. You answered most of your questions by yourself, but after answering you just out sentence after sentence why you are afraid. That's totally fine, but you still should face what you want. Whatever it really is. You can do this. What you exactly to might even be secondary here, even though I would suggest to change your environment, it's more the space you're coming from. Last but not least, I remembered you wrote something about that you are not that analytical/don't wanna study philosophy. I gotta think about this question then: Why do you love psychology that much? Most jobs, most theories (or at least the early one) are highly analytical. How does this fit together? I think there lies a huge potential to answer some of your questions. Best wishes! Ps: I really like the idea form @jse, suggesting you to travel! Your brain might restructure some things and your subconsciousness would be able to some new view points.

First of all, if you wanna do anything new - get rid of your limiting beliefs first. They're holding you back in so many ways. They become a self fulfilling prophecy. Framing is everything. There are no such things, that "don't work out". Every path is right path - if you like how it plays out or not. But you gotta be willing to walk the path. This being said, the real reason why you wanna do this/what for, in my opinion is that you wanna get up every day to do it. I mean let's be honest (also goes @ your quote), I see so many miserable youtube channels. I see so may people trying to self development business, because it has become "the thing to do". If you're made for this, go do it. But there is a wide range out there of people trying to make videos like Leo and many other great Youtubers; recycling stuff. Do you really wanna die thinking I did this 5-10 years of my life, just copying stuff that other great people already did? Holding people back from getting real authentic input? But don't take this to personally, if you do however are really good at it go do it. The question I would always ask myself is: Can I add value? Additional thing: Selfe development becomes an addiction more and more. No Buddha/Christ/whatever did consciously do self development. They did it because there was a calling, something telling them it's needed, and necessary. If I watch some people in this community, there is actually an addiction. Through self development they can reframe many things, that's not a bad thing in the first place, but after a time they need it. They need an illusion "to get better everyday". Well what's that, you're already complete. Exactly about what the quote is talking about, people just wanna be enlightened and are so blinded that they don't realize that they already are. They need to take a step back and be able to look at this from more far away. + You additionally get addicted to a community "guiding" you and "helping" you, making it impossible for you to stand on your own feet. Your motto shouldn't be: Let's make my addiction my purpose. (I don't think that's your case, just to make it clear here.) Since I found it quite vague what you said, I would recommend you to ask you these question: Who am i? What am I trying to get out of life? And last but not least: What do I want/have to contribute to the world? If you're not sure, you most likely have to try some things. (Hopefully with low risk) Quick summarize, bc it may sounded kinda negative what I said here: Make clear your purpose is not an addiction. Define your purpose as clear if possible. Get rid of limiting believes, or otherwise you will make an devastating self fulfilling prophecy. When you got all this together, go all out. But you decide. No one else. No tipps on the internet. It's your life. Only the best mate!

@Loreena I highly disagree with this. To make it more clear what you should actually do, I'm just going to quote Frank Yang here. I think no one describes it as well as he does. Being too much about detaching from emotions is a fraud. You should be able to observe. Not more and not less. Stay with what you're feeling. Embrace the motion of your emotions. Quote: Best wishes

@Martin123 Hehe, he totally is

Yes: Working extra hard! You say you are aware of the fact that you're playing the victim game, so get rid of it. Reframe your mind. Don't say, you have to work extra hard. You are allowed to work extra hard. Most athletes come from poor backgrounds (even if this might be the most plain and simple example there is). They got the drive, because they had to fight "extra hard" to get where they are right now. In fact there are people of any kind that followed the same road. You body and mind are going to do something called overcompensation, this is only possible if you got an deficit. The point is, since your not only compensating, but overcompensating you can reacher higher levels of success, persona-conciousness and skills than most of us can. Happiness shouldn't be your goal. Missing happiness just plays into your victim complex that something has been taking from you that you deserve. So every time you feel unhappy you gotta rationalize it. PD is not about being happy. Happiness comes by itself most of the time, or from an ecosystem of positive emotions you developed by yourself. Last but not least be aware that having a victim complex, similar to shyness, basically you got some narcissistic ego involved in that. (That is neither good or bad!) That's a huge source for energy and motivation, even though you have to drop it at some point of your journey. You got a lot work to do, be thankful for that! Wish you the best

If you wanna discover how they got their influence and changed history, there can be only one book: Nassim Nicholas Taleb - The Black Swan In his books he explains some of the people you named. In addition he does describe exactly how people like them got successful.

Go hard on your emotions. Experience them fully - seemingly you still try to avoid them. Stay present with them. Breathe them in. Your body will get used to dealing with them, when you let your barriers fall. Look at them like a little child running at you in a park, saying: "No ones gonna love me." Will you answer: "Yes you're right!" ?

You still seem to come from an place of so called co-dependence. You pretty much summed up which are your motivations for an relationships in this case. Your fear is most likely motivated trough your, which doesn't want you (especially as a woman) to live alone, not being protected. So some of your motivations are based on what you can get and not based on what you can give. In a relationship where one or both of you are takers, motivated by what they can get, coming out of the co-dependence frame, you gotta experience some suffering. Suffering for an relationship can be beautiful in his own way though. So let's talk about "the best" intentions for an relationship: You come from a place of so called intra-dependence. Your evolution as an human being goes like that: complete dependence (parents etc.), co-dependence (you need attention, love etc. from other people, bc you didn't yet created and ecosystem of good emotions to be able to solve this for your self), independence (you only rely on yourself, you don't want a relationship) and your final form is intra-dependence. That's the point where you're independent, but realize that being in a relationship, contributing to the world etc. is in fact better than just fighting for your own. I think there is a metaphor, where stage on is 0+0=0 1+1=2 and last but not least you got 1+1=11. For a healthy relationship you should focus on what you both can contribute into it. You will get more out of it than you can ever imagine. But focusing on what you can get out of it will just lead to suffering. Your frame (and motivation) is to share. This actually does apply to having someone "to grow together" as well. If you want someone to grow with you, you still want to take something from them. This will evolve naturally , if you both come from a sharing frame. The reason here is pretty simple: you both can create something together. (Whatever it is, goals, family etc.) But personally I would suggest you to go for it in any case if the physical attraction is high and you got enough sex drive. The relationship just might not be for ages. You will learn in any case.

@tyy It does influence it pretty much the same. At least for me, I'm 20 now and I got this about 2 years ago, while finishing school. I was always well spoken but could never really use it, until someone explained such concepts to me. For my body and mind it was a huge motivation to learn this stuff by recognizing you can apply this 1 to 1 to problems you have with girls. In stages of your life where your testosterone is high, thats always a good motivation, especially for your DNA. Dealing with mean girls is the best way to master frame battles. Girls (boys do this often enough too, trust me) do so called "shit-test". They're trying to test how much quality you have. Some off them have the same structure as bullying (verbally). They are (also) passing their circle of pain on to you if they go hard on you. Having good answers and keeping your frame will always lead to attraction. You can copy this like a blueprint and apply it to bullying situations. So on a basic level, you got a positive motivation for practicing it - no matter if/how far you're emotionally educated - rather than an negative motivation. In addition add a story which resonates with a younger person. As an example if someone likes samurais: "Hagakure" as an source for identification. I got a pretty good quote out of an article I recently read: "The best way to deal with a bully who is making fun of you is to make fun of yourself better than the bully did. The worst way to deal with a bully is to retaliate. This is because retaliation perpetuates the bully’s agenda and leads to violence, whereas making fun of yourself uses self-deprecating humor to derail the bully’s agenda while forcing the bully into a confused psychosocial dilemma. It’s a power-play, and it’s all psychological. The bully expects you to poke fun back at him, or cry, or run, or throw a punch; anything but you making fun of yourself. And if you can do it better than the bully did, then bully for you. Pun intended." On an emotional level I would suggest a young person to try a simple reframe: Every hit you take makes you stronger. If you go hard on your pain, let it all out, feel it as much as you can your emotional immune system is getting stronger. But I admit that this is much more difficult than it sound and tbh I never got bullied, I just got fucked up by some girls passing huge circle of pains on me, which is kinda similar but definitely not the same. I'm thankful for that, but I can't really tell you and 1 to 1 story about getting out of bullying.

Just see everything you say as important. It's mainly how you say something, that determines how something is perceived. You could talk about something really interesting, if you don't but the energy behind it is worthless. You can talk about something completely unimportant and with the right energy it will still be perceived as interesting. Just start practicing, your energy will follow up. Maybe take someone you have known for a long time an start experimenting how you can achieve such energy. And always remember as I said: everything is important. If you find something where you can really go deep in a certain topic, within this process, - even better.

I think @Nahm nails it here. In addition: Did you ever hear about frames (frame battles etc.)? If a person or any situation etc. can make you angry you get into their frame. You're not longer fighting on your battleground, and therefore you're loosing in strength and power. Many populist and politicians try to use or use these techniques. (That does mean if you "don't want to get used by others, but you're angry etc." they are actually using you.) So the go to counter bullying strategy is simple, if you don't get into a frame that is not your, their negative emotions can in fact not be inflicted on you. Notice: Everyone that is bullying is coming from a space where they are not happy in the big picture, they are carrying their own self doubt and negative emotions. That some rare situation in life where you really have karma. So let the situation resolve itself by not getting into a fight - really don't. How to stay in your frame? Pretty easy - Everything that is thrown at you is your frame. As an example: In school if someone is getting bullied by someone making jokes about them, the most effective way is to make an even better joke about oneself. You're taking the acting frame and own it, like it's your own. But since you accepted it outwards, no one can really be angry at you - self deprecating humor is key here. There are many way to apply such frame strategies, to stay out of straight up frame battles. Ultimately know that they will suffer the most from their actions in the long run, since that you don't even have to take revenge. Or as it's said: "Being happy is the best revenge." I would put aside what an enlightened being would do in such a situation - you're speaking about your functional body and persona, not about the consciousness you are. Best wishes!