Ross Labby

Never lol

Sweet! Yes, so I'm getting a transfer for my part time retail job. Also, for my financial situation, I will be losing some money during the four months since my income will be unable to fully support my rent and expenses as I am relying mostly on my savings. However, to me this is not a big deal as it will be worth the experience of trying these things and it also won't make too much of a dent to my savings considering it's only four months. Plus, I have devised an estimated budget and expense sheet so I feel prepared. Well, I'd like to perform live and I compose. I sing, I play piano, guitar and use a loop station. I have basic skills in these. These are what I plan on immersing myself in and yes I'll be attending networking events too. Oh that sounds neat.

Hi, I am going to be moving to my friend’s place in Toronto this September as I currently live in a smaller city here in Canada. It’s going to be for four months (so far). So there are a few reasons why I’m moving there. One, I like the big city life. Two, I want to work on my dating life since I have little experience. And three, I want to start performing live music there as I am working on finding my life purpose by doing a 1 year small bets for music and then film for the following year. And I’ve had experience with these two domains before, so these small bets feel like the final test. Now I’m aware that I’m not going to get amazing success in four months, it’s just that I want to get a taste for them. Like I’m 24 and I want to start LIVING. It’s also only for four months since it’s expensive and currently unaffordable for me if I were to live there for a long time. So I just have a couple questions regarding this move. One, does anyone know if pickup/cold approach is common in Toronto or is it more of a social circle kind of city? Because I was looking up bars/clubs there and saw that the biggest one holds up to 4,000 people. And I’m pretty sure Leo has mentioned these types of clubs to be ideal for a cold approach style due to their great volume of people. Two, if I’m working on my music (mostly just performing live music gigs), going out to socialize/do pickup, and work my part time job, do you think this is too much on my plate for four months? Because roughly I’d imagine working some hours during the week with the rest of my time dedicated to music, and then going out friday and saturday nights to socialize/do pickup. Would just like a reality check in case it seems like too much. Because even though I’m excited, I am also super nervous and don’t want to be too overwhelmed with too many things. Would like to hear what y’all think and any advice. Thank you.

@Cubbage True, people can definitely underestimate the rabbit hole of THC and what that entails

@Leo Gura Ok thank you I’ll do that. Slowly I’m feeling better so definitely it’s passing with time especially by not resisting it and letting it run its course. Even though I know I’ll have to let it go for my own well being, for some reason I feel kind of guilty for not facing it (this existential sense of loneliness and meaningless). I know I shouldn’t feel guilty and maybe I’m not ready to face it yet idk. And it also sucks that this happened because the main reason why I take edibles are usually for creatives reasons which I enjoy but it’s probably for the best to take a break from them for a while and focus on other practical things. Like currently I’m focusing on life purpose and dating stuff in my life and I wouldn’t want weed and its side effects to interfere with these currently, especially in a negative way.

@Yimpa Oh that’s nice

@Yimpa I live in Canada so it might be expensive to call, but thank you for the suggestion regardless.

Ok so last night I took a 5mg edible and out of nowhere (probably wasn’t exactly out of nowhere, but I can’t exactly remember how) this feeling of loneliness and meaninglessness in some sort of existential way just kind of hit me. I was just sitting down in my room and started thinking randomly and then BOOM. Last time a took an edible I had some positive insights which were nothing big but definitely helpful. And I wanted that again this time. And while I’ve never had an overall bad experience with weed, I’ve had bad moments which I was able to pull myself out of. But this one for some reason just pulled me in and it was hard to let go of. I tried not to resist and thank god didn't end up panicking. I called a friend who happened to help calm things down a bit, but now the morning after I feel a little better, but it’s still there lurking in the background. The weird thing is that I’ve taken weed many times and sometimes with higher doses, but then again its been a while as I don’t take weed often. I also thought maybe its cause i started meditating again a few days ago so maybe things started to surface idk. Also, I was in an okay mood before taking the edible, but not a great one. I enjoy taking an edible here and there but I’m kind of nervous now. Anyways, just wondering how to cope with/move on from this and if this is a common and normal thing? Would love to hear your advice and input.

@NoSelfSelf @Roy I might have not explained the situation clearly enough to you guys, but yes I don’t have the most dating experience and my game is not the best. It’s something that I’m slowly improving at. And I’m proud of myself for doing these things that are out of my comfort zone. And I know I would be improving my game way more if I was approaching more girls and had multiple options which would be optimal. It’s something I’ve been thinking of doing for a while and if this doesn’t work out I’m going to start that. This might be a good kick in the ass for me honestly. It really is stressful, anxiety inducing, and emotionally draining dealing with one girl (when not exclusive). Thank you for the input and advice!

@Roy by seeing her I mean dating her. And we’ve made out and done other intimate and sexual things…but no sex yet. And I’ve escalated to the point of mentioning us going back to one of our places to be alone. However she’s said that she’s not ready for that yet to which I respect and have let her know that we’ll do that when she feels more comfortable.

@NoSelfSelf Yeah that’s how I feel in many ways. There’s a good chance that it’s a test and it’ll be frustrating and hard to escalate things with friends present. Thanks for the input.

Hi, so this is a situation I'm currently struggling with as I'm not too sure how to approach it. A girl I've been seeing for a few months has asked me if I wanted to go out with her and her girl friends for drinks. However, I've heard that it's not a good idea to hang with a girl and her friends before exclusivity or having sex since this may result in being friend-zoned. We've done things but they haven't gotten to the point of sex yet. Anyways, I politely declined as I said I would be happy to down the road but with like to spend time with her and get to know her better for now. And she responded positively to it. The thing that makes this situation tricky is that one of her friends is actually one of my friends too. And I knew this friend before meeting the girl I'm seeing. So I don't want to come off like I'm trying to avoid my friend. And now the stressful thing that happened is that this mutual friend of ours is inviting me to a game night I have a sure feeling that the girl I'm seeing is going to be there and she probably knows about our friend inviting me. And I'm not sure what to do since I know these two talk to each other and probably have talked about me and I don't want to make it seem like I'm trying to cut off our mutual friend as that might make the girl I'm seeing be mad with me. And it might also give her the impression that I don't care about her friends. idk lol. What do you guys think that the best course of action is in this scenario?

Hi so I've been redoing the Life Purpose Course for a while now and I've just done the zone of genius exercise about twice now this time around and it has been difficult for me as it's hard to choose the most accurate answer as my interest is split down mostly between music and film. And the zone of genius (my unique ability) that I came up with is along the lines of "expressing deep emotions and thought-provoking ideas". Now the thing is that it does feel authentic but I'm not sure if it's vague and not specific enough. Like I could include other specifics in it such as writing stories, making films, composing music, or performing music, but the thing is that I feel as though I'm not ready to incorporate or pick one of these specific examples as I am currently trying some of them out to decide which is best for me. I'm even planning to pick one of these to try out for one full year and then try the other out for a year and then decide after which feels best. So in this case I would try out music and film for a year each. So while I feel that the zone of genius I came up with is fine, does anyone think that it is vague and should be more specific or is it good the way it is? Also is it possible if I could make my zone of genius more specific over time once I get more clarity after trying some of these pursuits out or should I get it right away? I'm just wondering because I want to get this right and don't want anything less. Thank you.

@Leo Gura Yeah true. True and if rejection happens I'll just have the mindset of she's just not ready yet kinda thing so it takes the pressure off. And where are some good places to isolate a girl when you're with her? Like I was thinking maybe that during the date which is likely daytime, I could ask her if she wants to go back to one of our places to do something (like play a game or watch a movie for example) and then make a move. However, since we haven't gotten too physically intimate yet and we both live with our parents I'm not sure if that would be the best move yet. What do you think? Will do! And that is one thing that I tend to struggle with is patience, so I'll need a little more of that lol. And that does give me some reassurance because I was starting to think that maybe she lost interest.

So I met this girl at a new years party and I was interested in her and asked her out a day later for a coffee date and she agreed to it. The first date went pretty well in my opinion. Despite being nervous I was very present when talking to her and thought I knocked it out of the park as we talked and had a pretty good connection, maintained strong eye contact, and made her laugh a lot. The one thing on my mind though was that I've got to escalate with her physically and go for a kiss. Well, we hugged at the beginning and end but no kiss or physical escalation throughout the date. However, I thought it still went well and just decided that I'd go for the kiss on the second date. So I then asked her out for a second date to go play pool and bowling. This date went okay since I felt that I was more in my head this time about having to physically escalate and go for the kiss. I have to say that I didn’t like playing pool and bowling as I felt it put a stop to the connection. But I eventually said that I’d like to talk with her and we did which was nice. When we sat down she sat a seat away from me but then I moved over one to be next to her. Though the conversation went well her body language was closed off, but her eye contact was pretty good. However, due to her closed-off body language, I didn’t feel comfortable escalating physically or going in for the kiss. But she did give me a ride home and I thought that my chances of getting success are probably becoming slimmer now so I just asked if i could kiss her just to be sure and she accepted that…so that was cool. Then for our third date she recommended a movie and went to that. After that I asked her if she wanted to go get a bite to eat and we did. This time I felt the connection was back and I felt present again and enjoying myself. We even played a lil footsies under the table ahah. Our conversation was good and eye contact was strong. But still I didn’t physically escalate that much. I should also mention that I would tease her a bit throughout these dates but not really flirt that much. And when she dropped me off I went in for the kiss this time without asking and I got the cheek. After this I kinda made the mistake of not picking up on that cue and proceeded to ask her for “another one?” and she said “we’re good” but she still said we can hang out next week. After that I smiled and said my goodbye. Then recently I texted her that I enjoyed my time with her last night and she replied saying that she did too and that we should hangout soon in which I agreed. Also another thing is that she doesn’t initiate text that much with me as i don’t either which I don’t mind. We just use text as more of a device to set up dates. Also she’s told me that she is introverted and I’ve been told that she is shy and it is clear based on being with her. I’m also not sure if she wants to take things slow or not. It’s hard to tell. I know I should be a little more flirtatious and escalate things more physically but I just get nervous. So I’m a little confused and I would like some advice on what to do next time when I see her. Also I’m a little worried that maybe she just wants to hangout as friends now despite my advances and has lost interest. Do any of you think she is still interested? Or that she isn’t? Or that she lost interest and that it’s too late to fix things?