RobertZ

The word, “Ego” has several different meanings—so it is ambiguous. Ego can mean an inflated self-worth like, “That guy has a real ego.” Ego can mean self-esteem like, “I lied to my wife, so my ego is hurting.” Ego can also mean the conscious-thinking self. Ego can mean the same as the word “I,” or self, like “I am going to the store.” Some people interpret the word, “ego” with the No-Self doctrines like, “A person already has no ego: therefore, they experience that their experience [of a self] is an illusion.” Some people also describe a feeling of dying on psychedelic drugs as an “ego death.” Afterlife experiences may follow. Freud said that the ego is a set of mental functions including delayed gratification, reality testing, memory, planning, and information synthesis (Snowden, Ruth (2006). Teach Yourself Freud. McGraw-Hill. pp. 105–107). He explains that the ego is the part of the psyche that can acknowledge reality while pleasing the body’s instinctual desires and needs for satisfaction. Want to run through Down Town naked—wild and free? The ego might say, “But consider reality. How about a nudist beach, instead?” So, the ego has the ability to perceive reality (both conscious and subconscious perception) and executively fulfill the body’s needs with a view to long-term benefits. In this view, conscious awareness resides inside of the ego. Ego defence mechanisms allow a person to ignore reality to some extent, to fulfill needs or desires. To become united with one’s ego (in order to feel oneness) a person may do the following two-part exercise. (1) The person feels (deeply) into what he or she desires or needs. (2) The person then takes a good hard look at their reality. By doing this exercise, a person can experience their ego. I’m not versed on dissociative hallucinogens like PCP and ketamine. These drugs might have a role, if your goal is experiencing oneness though an ego-separation.

I had a year or two when my crappy sleep got out-of-control, with sleep terrors. Regrettably, I suffered without proper sleep medicine (I probably put off seeing a doctor because of some ignorant childhood indoctrination about the evils of sleeping drugs). Anyway, I sometimes self-medicated with ~75 mg benedryl, which gave me some inflammation relief. Turns out, I had hypothyroidism. I treated that condition and started falling asleep in 5 or 10 minutes from when my head hit the pillow. Some of the other things that helped me were Magnesium Glycinaye, zink, and slow release melatonin. You also mention a difficulty looking inward, in life. In PTSD therapy, there is a common problem where accessing subconscious material can trigger a lymbic reaction, such that recalling the subconscious material compounds the person’s neural and psychic injury. If you have an aversion to sleep, your mind might be protecting you from certain subconscious material. The mind is a self-healing system, and only sometimes forms unhelpful defences. So-called “superficial solutions” may be completely legitimate while the self-healing process occurs. Brainstorming some options (these are not recommendations, but just possible options): How long do you think it will take for your sleep to improve (state the first number that comes to mind)? Then, use your sleeping medicine for that duration. Increased consciousness is literally preventing you from sleeping. Blast open your subconscious with drugs. MDMA would probably be the most self-loving path to explore any difficult material because it reduces any potential retraumatization by calming the amygdala. Meet a hormone optimization physician. Health parameter awareness requires blood work. If you find a physiological risk factor (hormone decline is well associated with a lower quality of life and an early death), then lifestyle factors (like diet) might help to an extent. Any stimulants? Stick to stimulants with a short half life, like Phenylpiracetam. Caffiene has a six-hour half life. So, if you have a large Starbucks coffee at 2:00 pm (270 mg of caffeine), you still have 135 mg of caffeine in your system at 8:00 pm, and 67 mg at 2:00 am. Taking large Starbucks at 2:00 pm is like having a small McDonalds coffee (100 mg of caffeine) at Midnight.

I enjoyed reading PhD dissertations. You can find tons of them free on online library databases (ProQuest) if you’re in university. I like psychology dissertations. For many older publications, if you get the DOI number (eg from Google Scholar) many of them are free if you paste the DOI into http://Sci-hub.se

Not directly about the ‘man’ part—but about the ‘strong’ part: One thing that helped me gain a lot of weight was using an app called “Strong.” It’s a very simple app that records weights and reps, for weight lifting. It’s a paid app—but I could not find anything as functional for free. “HeavySet” is okay and free—but you’ll see the difference immediately. I did years of lifting every second day—just going really “hard” every time. However, lifting by feeling is tricky. The mind simply forgets—anything can feel hard. The app helped me to be objective about my workouts. Start very gradually—pretty much any lifting will cause hypertrophy early on. Gradually add weight when hitting 11-12 reps and lower weight if hitting 5 to 7 reps. Keep the weight the same if hitting 10 reps. Generally, aim for 8 to 12 reps to gain muscle weight. Focus on bar lifts: bench, row, squat, dead, overhead, pull-ups. Eat lots of food that you, personally, can digest well. Building physical strength built up my mental strength.

You have a comprehensive list here! Business coach or manager to Business Consultant may use diverse fields such as education (teaching), psychology, coaching, law, philosophy, mathematics, or ethics/religious studies. These in addition to business administration skills (eg., HR, accounting, economics, tech management, marketing, decision modelling [advanced Excel], etc.). My thoughts about interdisciplinary work: Often, work teams are interdisciplinary. As an interdisciplinary individual, however, a person offers the ability to communicate and interpret between discrete fields. The predecessors of universities broke off from one another (philosophy, theology, medicine, and law) in the late Middle Ages, if I remember correctly. Universities decided that these fields of knowledge were sufficiently distinct and independent that they had to be taught in separate institutions [and ne’r shall they mix?]. This separation of fields of knowledge is surprisingly complete. There are some bridges—I would say mostly with medicine, like medicine and law, medicine and business, medicine and ethical philosophy, and so on. People often tout the advantages of specialization. Many people spend their life digging very deep into a narrow field. ‘Specialize, specialize, specialize—find your niche, create great value; this way brings success; and don’t be a Jack of all trades and master of none,’ many people recommend. I use the image of tunnels into the ground to represent specialization in fields of knowledge. More gems dwell deep in the ground. A person might look at this situation and realize—“Shit. I will never be the leading researcher in radiological oncology or 16th century art. But if I can go meaningfully deep into multiple fields, I can dig horizontal between multiple tunnels. This interconnection means communicating ideas, social networks, and other kinds of resources between people with very different kinds of interests. Marketing the value of religious studies to a construction business owner? “Go preach in a church.” Many people don’t even see the value of hiring a lawyer for an administrative position. “The only skill lawyers have is practicing law.” The problem of interdisciplinary studies is quite deep. First, the usefulness of one field of knowledge in another field is not always obvious. You might suppose that a masters degree in English literature is useful for a journalist job? After all—the master can write, right? Maybe hardly anything from English transfers over to journalism. Dental offices are getting along very well hiring dentists and medical office assistants, thank you very much. I suspect that an interdisciplinary individual is a LONG term proposal. Skills from one field may not transfer over to the other field for many years. Not only does an interdisciplinary individual have to spend many years of study in each field, it may also take years for the competencies and value-added to connect.

Healthy Boundaries I don't know a lot about boundary setting. I would Google terms like, 'setting boundaries,' and 'setting boundaries excessive contact,' 'setting boundaries too many texts,' and 'setting boundaries too many phone calls parents.' Also, I don't know the nature of your communications. For example, maybe you could consider whether the conversations otherwise pleasant--like philosophy, banter, and talking about life events--and the only issue is frequency? Or, are the communications a little more toxic, like gossip, blaming politicians, telling you what to do and what not to do, and so on? This consideration of the nature of the communications may help you to decide if you really want to become more intertwined with your Dad through financial dependency. An employment relationship may add an additional layer of subservience, despite the father-child relationship--which might be beneficial (mutual trust and more money in both of your pockets), or cause problems like manipulative affection and excessive discipline (you are not a child). For example, if your dad already makes passive aggressive comments telling you what to do and what not to do with your life, then an employment relationshp might tempt you to dishonour him. Asserting independence vis a vis parents, and earning respect for one's differing opinions or lifestyle is not easy and may take many years. Here is a technique you might want to use: Step 1: Brainstorming Brainstorm some options and write them down. For example maybe write down, Option 1 - Ignoring texts / not taking phone calls, except 1 x per day or 1x every two days. (Act like it's no big deal when he asks why you did not answer immediately. If he presses, do Option 2 (below). Option 2 - Having a phone conversation and ask him if you can have conversations with him just two or 3 times a week. 'Can we talk two or three times a week [instead of two or three times a day]?' Try to come up with 1 or 2 more options. You should have at least 3 options. Doing nothing is not a good option. If you feel that 'Doing nothing' is a good option--then still come up with at least 4 options. Step 2: Analysis Write down a number of benefits (+) and negatives (-) for each option. For example, one positive of ignoring texts and phone calls might be, 'May have a bit of success in reducing contact over time.' A negative might be, 'Dad might feel that I am unresponsive or irresponsible.' Take a step back (go for a walk or something), and then review what you wrote. Make a decision. Consider timing but don't put it off forever.

Journaling is excellent. You are probably thinking about stuff all the time. It is surprising what comes out in journaling--journaling might sound 'boring,' like, 'what would I write about anyway?' But what comes out rarely fails to surprise me. Journaling can help with awareness of what is on-mind. Awareness of one's thoughts may assist with concentration.

Hi @AndylizedAAY, The questions, "when to watch" and "watch his content too often?" brings to my mind time spent on a task in light of a person's values (which also ties into motivation or interest). A couple of strategies people use to analyze their time on tasks are (a) task lists and (b) daily routines. Both of these strategies involve decisions about what a person 'should' or 'must' do. Task lists involve writing down everything a person 'has to do' (on paper or in a journal). [Write a little square beside each task, and check the square when the task is complete.] The nice thing about a task list is getting tons of things accomplished. Some people recommend biting into life by starting with the most difficult task—but finishing small tasks can generate momentum. For example, you might write 'to-do lists' a couple of days per week; and after a month or so, realize that you want to put "watching one of Leo's videos" on one of your daily lists. "To-Do Lists" gradually assists with value prioritization, mainly on a subconscious level, in the tasks a person chooses to list.* Daily routines involve "blocking off" times each day or week to do certain kinds of activities. Routines are what you make of them--with discipline, adaptation, and experimentation, routines can be effective and powerful. For example, at such a time each day, a person wakes up, has breakfast, works, relaxes, learns, does self-development activities, cooks, cleans, and so on.** For example, by formalizing a daily routine, a person might block out 25 minutes a day for some kind of self-improvement activity—and commit to this 25 minutes every day. One day—after a few weeks of meditating, or reading, or journaling, you might say, "So what am I going to do with today's 25 minutes?" Then you might decide watch 25 minutes of one of Leo's videos. Then, you can decide whether you want to continue with the video the following day during the "self-improvement" time-block. ---- * One of the weaknesses of task lists is that days and weeks sometimes pass, where the task list sits in a drawer--unused. A person might 'forget' about the task list as a way to put the tasks off--because of worry that the tasks might be difficult. We might have a sneaking suspicion that we can ignore the "to do" items without too much consequence. In fact, there might not be any consequences for ignoring a given task. However, a person might ignore the whole list because they need a break, or more fundamental aspects of life require attention. For example, if a person feels tired and overwhelmed every day--they may have a motivation-obstruction. ** Routines can also be challenging--for example, stopping a fun activity or breaking up a very productive activity because "it is time" for the next activity. On the other hand, there are benefits to limiting activities to set times—like training oneself to work more efficiently next time. Finding the balance between flexibility and commitment to various aspects of life is a juggling act.

Sorry, I can't make an assessment and I don't know what a jhana is. However, some clinical work talks about "spiritual emergencies" or "spiritual emergences." These experiences are often misdiagnosed as mental disorders, and suppressed. For example, there was one experiment in an acute psychiatric hospital, on a couple dozen psychiatric patients (or so): one group was treated as normal (drugs and therapy suppressed their unusual symptoms), and the other group was allowed to fully express their unusual behaviour [i.e., whether a spiritual emergency or an acute mental disorder like psychosis or disassociation). They were allowed to fully exhibit their strange behaviour in a safe and supportive environment. The group who was allowed to "go through" their mental process without suppression fared better. This study suggested that allowing a psychic emergency to proceed through its natural course may lead to better psychological outcomes. I am not suggesting that you ignore the possibility that you might have a health issue--like a stroke or something. Definitely, you would want to treat issue like a stroke ASAP; and if dysfunctional symptoms persist--definitely, seek professional assistance. Spiritual exercises can also cause unusual experiences--and unusual experiences do not always indicate a health problem. Allowing acute emergencies to run their course may be more beneficial than suppress the symptoms. The mind is a self-healing entity. Sometimes, the mind exhibits unusual symptoms as part of its self-healing process. So, I would rule out dangerous health conditions and address dysfunctional issues that persist. If you have a safe place to "go through" a spiritual emergence, then that process might also benefit you. Sorry, I don't have a diagnosis. All the best!

I have sometimes had trouble keeping track of time while meditating (hence the alarm clock); but I experienced time dilation more often on psychedelics. I'm not sure if that answer helps.

Yes, for cutting a blotter, I sometimes use a (sharp) razor blade / exacto knife on a piece of cardboard, like a non-corrogated food box or a cutting board. Tweezers might be helpful to hold one end down--or try to use a finger (nail) to hold one side down. Alternatively, I use scissors--but one side ends up being bigger than the other. In general, I find slightly smaller doses (like 1/8 of a blotter) work better for functional microdosing. I have a "good day" when I take a smaller dose, because I am able to concentrate on my daily tasks. When I take larger doses (e.g., 1/4 or 1/5 of a blotter), I get quite distracted and seek amusements or entertainment, or spend hours writing philosophical asides.

I looked for local psychedelic groups on facebook, and joined in. I met several therapists in these groups.

In my limited experience and from some research, go in waves. In a session of say 25 minutes, go in phases, with calmer more meditative moments like poetry, mantras, abstract prayers; then shift into a more gradual confrontation and adjuration for a time. Then back off, and go back into the calmer approach, then go back into the commands to leave. Don't address the entities directly, in the second person, "You." Don't try to engage directly in dialogue with them. Rather, the commands / adjurations should be in the 3rd person, like, "In the name of love I command the entities to leave. In the name of consciousness, I command them to leave." This indirect approach is because some entities are more intelligent and powerful. My thoughts.

Sometimes I pretend that I someone else is in my body and experiencing my reality (e.g., someone from the past experiencing my reality). I don't think much about the perspective of inanimate objects--I lack reference for that imagination. Sometimes I observe animals and consider their behaviour--so I kind of think about what they might be thinking or experiencing. There is probably some good art (like music) that jokes around with the idea of being taken seriously.

Hi @AndylizedAAY I have to make some assumptions to respond because your "cycle" seems perfectly normal. School followed by video games. For example, maybe you feel frustrated, because you say, "cycle" and "more productive." I am not sure. Also, advancing through school might be productive, and amusements can help a person to be more effective at their work. If you provide some indication of your values and potential alternative activities--maybe we could provide some advice?

One idea in philosophy is “what is the highest good or best life? One suggestion is that the practice of philosophy (sometimes also called contemplation) is the highest good. A person philosophizes or contemplates for contemplation’s own sake (and not for fame, reputation, or money to spend on some other good). For example, a person works in order to have time to philosophize. A person does not philosophize in order to work better or do anything useful. Philosophy in itself is literally useless because it is not done for any other use. People often find a sense of meaning and identity through their work and other pursuits—besides meeting their other needs. So to philosophize, a person likely needs to address their other needs to some extent—needs like food, shelter, belonging, respect, and so on. But at some point, a person would have to prioritize their values. As several people on this forum pointed out, philosophers have prioritized philosophy over health or life. So, I would say seek to address your needs and use space time to philosophize—however you do that (e.g., contemplation). However, keep your purpose for working and other life pursuits in mind.

You mentioned a decade of self-improvement, and that fact may be relevant. For me, when I became unable to get stuff done, I thought, “My problem is probably a substantial disorder of my thoughts, perception, or emotions that is hindering my ability to function, make good decisions, or meet the ordinary demands of life.” After a good-go with a psychologist, I experimented with psychiatric drugs (under a physician). Those drugs helped bandaid my symptoms, and helped heal my nervous system, I think.* The drugs didn’t resolve my symptoms, however. Per my original plan, I came off the drugs after 9 months. Finally, I spent almost one year (one hour a day) researching hormones. After this significant research, I got on with a physician who was experienced in hormone optimization. My inability to get tasks done resolved. Again, you mentioned a decade of self-improvement—so I assume you may be at least 30-years-old. I note that many people begin to experience adverse environmental effects on their hormonal systems by the age of 30 (and significant changes/deficits begin despite environmental factors at around the age of 40). —— * New research suggests that the beneficial effects of many popular anti-depression / anti anxiety meds work more by the mechanism of increasing neuro-plasticity than by controlling the uptake of neurotransmitters (despite their initial classifications).

A dogma is a formulary. People use these formal patterns of words to practice habits of making decisions about various thoughts (often thoughts about different kinds of relationships). People also use dogmas to ritually share habits of thought within one another. People invoke such beliefs as intentional habits of the intellect. The concept of “prudence” is an analogy for the use of dogma. A person forms a habit of prudence by deliberately and consistently thinking how to live a fulfilled life. Similarity, a person believes in a dogma by habitually deciding in favour of a particular thought (and it’s implications) with various levels of openness or assistance. One kinds of dogma is a kerigma. I would suggest that a kerigma is a statement that functions like a broken object—whose parts fit together as verification (for example, a kerigma may contain the core essence of a religion in a few words).

In "How Your Mind Interprets Reality," Leo gives an exercise of writing down multiple interpretations of a given fact or situation. Does anyone have any further directions or suggestions for how to do such an exercise? I want to practice generating more interpretations, but I'm not quite sure how to begin such a practice.

@FlyingLotus Thanks for your suggestions!

@Preety_India "Some studies have shown that meals high in fat can drop testosterone levels by anywhere from 15 to 40%. Similarly, high carbohydrate meals can drop levels from 10 to 30% for anywhere from 3 to 8 hours. Even consuming a drink that has about 75 grams of glucose (about what you'd get in one of those "Rockstar" energy drinks) is enough to chop testosterone levels down by jaw slackening 47%." However, my point is that LOW testosterone can cause surges of sexual desire. The solution might not be dropping testosterone levels--on the contrary. Sometimes HIGHER testosterone can help to normalize sexual urges.

@Andrew John @Gregory1 Thanks. "Fruit of the earth and work of human hands," right?

One question that might help you is, "So what?" So what are the consequences if I have a different view than the people around me? So what if I think about different opinions? So what--is the world going to end today? So what--will they say, "go to hell"? I am not saying, "be disrespectful," or "punch their teeth out." No. Even though you are developing broader thoughts, you continue to need stability. You still need community, fairness, care and courage, persistence (hard work), and clever decisions. The people around you are taking advantage of your need for stability to undermine what you want. They are bullying you, excluding you, and saying that you are bad. But there are exceptions to their rules, right? Maybe they are jealous of you because they are unhappy, and they lack the integrity to care about you. Be respectful, but be strong. Exercise. Keep your discipline, but see that love is patient. Even if you are wrong--love is patient. Like life--it is not the end of the world because you have different perspectives.

Maybe try pencil crayons (a collage, mapping out thoughts and feelings with words and images)? Look--you need help with "coping." There is no way you are going to figure this out overnight. You need soothing for your emotions and psyche. You don't need to process and figure this whole thing out right now. Something to help calm your nerves--a clear mind--like guided meditations. Resort to old practices that brought you peace in the past--maybe a hot bath, a long walk, orna favorite food. You can work on processing and really feeling the difficult feelings, and reintwgrating your relationship to your memories in time. No sense in reliving it again and again if the memories and fears are hurting you. You will get to healing. Right now, look for comfort. A custody battle is just that--a battle. It is a conflict. Your sword and shield in a custody battle is your focus on the best interests of the child. You have many strengths in this conflict. Let me get to your strengths in a moment. However, You also seem have some vulnerabilities in this battle that may distract you from focusing on the child's best interests. I'm sorry to be quite blunt, but the Past violence toward you is most likely an irrelevant distraction. He will likely use his domestic violence against you in the worst way. If you bring the topic up, for example, he might suggest that past disputes are inhibiting your judgment; so that you are conflating your hurt with the child's vulnerability. Even if you have third party evidence that the child was exposed to the father's violence, or you have evidence that his violence limits the his ability or willingness to care for the child (which evidence you might not have), such evidence is probably merely one of a dozen factors. Don't get sidetracked on this topic. It's a vulnerability for you. Three weeks straight? There is no way a 7 year old should miss you for 3 weeks straight. It's usually not good for kids that age to have long blocks of time away--the parenting schedule should be more along the lines of an evening a week with the dad, plus every second weekend. In any case, the time should be divided within the week--not weeks on end away from the child. It sounds like you lost on some early procedure, or he simply apprehended the child because there was no court ordered parenting schedule. There should have been a more gradual reintroduction of the father -- in a monitored fashion -- with consultation on decision-making. 3 weeks is outrageous. You probably need a clearly-defined parenting schedule in the interim. This interim parenting schedule should probably be a high priority for you. Then you can go about arguing about details of days and decision-making responsibilities. Your strength is in your knowledge of the facts. You know the facts better than anyone else. You know the facts about the 7 yr old's relationship with you--like how close your your relationship is, and the history of care you provided. You know what are the important points to bring up on the topic of the child's needs for (a) stability, (b) his/her personality, (c) health, (d) emotional needs, and (e) physical care. You can listen to the child with a generous and open heart. For example, You can observe his/her ability to adjust to changing parenting arrangements. You have the facts to suggest if cultural or spiritual factors might be important for the child. Your challenge is to talk about the facts squarely in terms of what is best for the child. You should talk about what is best for the child with every sentence. Sorry if Im being too forward. Obviously, I don't know what's really going on. Right now, focus on feeling comfort. Don't be afraid.

@levani H. A. Abramson did a lot of the research on the cross tolerance between mushrooms and LSD in the '60s. For example, https://bibliography.maps.org/bibliography/default/resource/1809 https://bibliography.maps.org/bibliography/default/resource/4463