Espaim

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About Espaim

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  • Birthday August 1

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  1. 11-12, maybe sometimes going up to 13 if particularly well-fed and slept nicely. Honestly, I have to strain myself a bit to understand 13. 4 if I'm hungry Interesting theory by the way. Thanks for the knowledge.
  2. Are you willing to move out of your country?
  3. Journaling can certainly help you with many issues you may face. I suggest you to do it if you do or do not go to therapy. Nonetheless, I'll add some thoughts here. It seems like you have lumped "therapy" into a single thing but there are many approaches to it. Let me list some of the top of my head: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Existential Therapy Psychoanalysis Gestalt Therapy Psychodrama I bet some will have more of "how did that make you feel?" and others will be... Different. I suggest you research about it. If you find some approach that interests you, don't fear trying it out. Sometimes it'll be hard to find a good match of an approach or professional for your individual needs but it can be helpful. And you can even bring your journal to help! At the end, the choice is yours.
  4. This is awesome. I'm a psychology undergrad and I learned about quite a few of these, but not even half!
  5. Thanks! Tbh I went all in, didn't care about not using drugs as a crutch or something (the irony is I already knew about Actualized.org since I was 18). Maybe this rush made me crash and burn faster. For my own luck, it went well afterwards, or at least until now My therapist also said something along these lines. I've been slowly revamping my social connections. However, I also have a long list of issues that require my attention (not related to socialization), so this isn't my top priority. I already had some friends with whom drinking wasn't our main bonding activity, and I've been trying to reach out to them. Anyway, thanks!
  6. I began revamping my social connections after adopting new healthy habits. I tend to gravitate towards highly open-minded people, generally those who are more mature, despite my own youth. Being in university facilitates this process. I decisively cut ties with individuals who act too childishly (not to be confused with playfulness) or disrespect my boundaries. My policy is to give a warning on the first offense, but after three strikes, they're out. I value friends who know how to listen actively and understand my limitations as a human being, and I strive to reciprocate these qualities. Generally, most of my friends lean left politically or at least hold some liberal values. I don't mesh well with close-minded individuals and, in such cases, I try to maintain only a basic level of friendliness without becoming too close. This approach helps me cultivate meaningful relationships that align with my personal growth and values while also not alienating myself from the people I don't really want to become friends with.
  7. After more than 400 days of sobriety, I'm reflecting on my journey as a 24-year-old college student who quit drinking. My heavy drinking began at 20 during the COVID-19 pandemic, exacerbated by a job where free beer was abundant. Despite changing my major which I was unsatisfied with, my drinking habits persisted, even interfering with medications for neurological issues. Post-COVID restrictions, I attended every social event possible, drinking excessively at each one. My extroverted yet disagreeable nature made me prone to disinhibition. A seizure served as a wake-up call, prompting both my dad and me to quit alcohol. The benefits have been significant: No alcohol cravings Reduced spending (both on alcohol and impulsive spending while drunk) Less of family/friends worrying about me No regrets about actions or words Rediscovering social events without alcohol (I still go to parties sober and have fun but it's different. I can't stand as much as I did before) Seeking healthier social activities There are some challenges: Finding alternative ways to deal with negative emotions. I've started therapy some weeks ago and it's going great. I also started working out. Occasional feelings of being left out. Honestly, this has been something I've had difficulty dealing with. Explaining my choice not to drink (not really, I'm not the type that beats around the bush). Neutral Interestingly, after 400 days, I'm forgetting what it's like to be drunk. Seeing others drink doesn't even register as something I'd consider doing anymore. Sometimes I host parties and I find myself wondering what to do with alcohol left around the day after. While quitting hasn't solved all my problems, it's solved more than one. I have a long way to go still in other areas.
  8. You go buddy! I'm 400+ days alcohol free and "stopped" smoking 8 days ago (had one single cigarrete during this time). My lung feels better definitely. Hitting the gym and therapy have really been helping me.
  9. Even though I'm a psychology undergrad and know many people who meditate and have done psychedelics (pretty open-minded people in general, liberal/hippie leaning), they're still incredibly close-minded regarding some of my experiences. So I just shut up now. I've decided it's not worth the hassle of explaining.
  10. Having a conversation with any family member while peaking
  11. Disclaimer: I want to clarify that although I refer to my experience as a 'psychedelic journey,' I am not implying that it is complete or definitive. It may sound very new-agey and it maybe is lol. Hello, fellow actualizers, I want to share with you my journey with psychedelics and meditation. About two years ago, I intentionally paused my psychedelic use and meditation practice. I was only 20 at the time, and I needed to focus on my life purpose. I have tried various psychedelics, including weed, mushrooms, LSD, DMT, MDMA, and some more that I don't remember. Among them, DMT and LSD were the ones I used the most. I tripped on these psychedelics around 80 times, all in just one year. Although I would like to have access to 5-Meo-DMT, it's an enormous challenge in my country. Leo has inspired me to use psychedelics, and I thank him for that. I used them responsibly, following harm reduction guidelines, and doing serious inquiry during most of my trips. Although some of them were just for fun, I still prioritized safety. Since then, I've been investing in my life purpose, which involves the study of pharmaceuticals and drugs on the brain, from the perspective of psychology. Although I don't really like medicine or pharmacy enough to study those substances from those perspectives, psychology is my preferred choice. Psychedelics aggressively expanded my mind in terms of open-mindedness. Although I don't consider myself enlightened or anything, I do believe that psychedelic and spiritual experiences helped me become a more well-rounded person and understand other perspectives. Some of my psychedelic experiences felt like years of therapy in hours. However, I felt like it was time to develop myself further, which is why I paused my psychedelic use. I felt somewhat ungrounded after going through all of those psychedelic trips. During my psychedelic journey, I faced traumas and had existential questions answered, such as unconditional love, no self, the absolute, death, god realization, and many more. As a result, I noticed an increase in motivation in my personal life. Although I might not have reached the level of enlightenment that Leo claims is possible, I still found benefits from my psychedelic experiences. Throughout my psychedelic experiences, I gained a valuable insight that has provided me with emotional stability - the idea of 'not-knowing.' While it's difficult to articulate, this has helped me tremendously, pragmatically speaking. Before my psychedelic journey, I used to be a very disagreeable and sometimes aggressive person. Although I'm still disagreeable, I am way nicer now. It may sound contradictory to be socially anxious and aggressive, but I just wanted people not to interact with me. After using psychedelics and resolving most of my problems with social anxiety, I learned how to socialize properly, which made me more assertive. Moreover, I feel more authentic, which is very liberating. I hope my journey with psychedelics can be useful for at least someone here. If you have any questions or want to share your experiences, feel free to do so. Thank you for reading!
  12. Hello! We could help you out, but to provide you with the best possible answers, we would appreciate it if you could give us some more information about your current situation. What are your interests and goals? What is your current financial situation like? Is there anything else that you think we should know about? By providing us with more details about your circumstances, we can offer you more tailored and specific advice.
  13. I appreciate your perspective overall, and while you may not personally agree with the Spiral Dynamics model, my main goal is to ensure that my point comes across clearly to readers of this specific forum. I have regular interactions with individuals who prefer to be referred to using gender-neutral language. So this is relevant for me to some point. In my opinion, significant social changes usually take time, but it's essential to people going towards progress. Although I may not identify as an "active activist" of anything, I believe that we should strive to accommodate minority groups to the extent that is reasonable, at least in my personal life. History has shown that many social changes have been based on achieving equality and uplifting marginalized communities. For example, the civil rights movement fought for equal rights for African Americans, and the LGBTQ+ movement has made significant strides towards acceptance and inclusion. These movements have paved the way for a more just and equitable society. It's worth noting that I don't think we have an equitable society nowadays. This connects to the representation I mentioned earlier, particularly in regards to women. While this may not be the primary concern, addressing this issue could potentially aid in advocating for greater inclusivity. Nonetheless, I must acknowledge that you have raised a valid point.
  14. I brought up Spiral Dynamics because I believe it can provide a clearer understanding for readers. As many of the participants here are likely to be Americans or people from English speaking countries, they may not be familiar with the intricacies of Latin American conservatism. However, I am aware that this theory should be taken with a grain of salt, as it may not necessarily apply to every situation or culture strictly. Moving on, I believe that individuals who do not identify as any particular gender may benefit greatly from this discussion. Additionally, women who are used to being represented by masculine language when reffering to large groups may feel more included if gender-neutral terms are used. @Danioover9000 In my university, we study structural racism and white privilege, and I recognize that these concepts can be difficult for many people to fully grasp. I don't mean to condemn anyone who struggles to understand them. However, when I encounter instances of racial discrimination, I do my best to address them and educate people on the issue. Unfortunately, that's often an wasted effort. The challenge with gender-neutral language is that it's even more abstract and unfamiliar to the average person than concepts like structural racism and white privilege. This is not to say that people are unintelligent, but rather that our education system often fails to adequately address issues related to gender identity and language. Logically speaking, it would seem reasonable to have gender-neutral language options available. However, it's not entirely clear for me how this could be practically implemented. Portuguese can be considered to be a relatively inflexible language, which may make it more resistant to changes in its structure or usage. Other Latin or Romance languages may also face similar challenges but I'm not certain on this point.
  15. As a psychology undergraduate living in Brazil, I've been witnessing numerous debates about pronouns and gender in Portuguese. This issue is distinct from English because our language has only two genders, which are applied to most nouns and adjectives. Typically, the masculine gender is considered the default. For instance, the words "gato" (masculine) and "gata" (feminine) are used for "cat." Recently, many stage green academics (teachers and students) have been advocating for the use of gender-neutral language. In Portuguese, this would mean using "gate" instead of "gato" or "gata" to avoid gender-specific nouns. However, our language has yet to adopt such linguistic flexibility, making it challenging to write in a gender-neutral way. While I appreciate the idea of inclusion, Brazil has a predominantly Spiral Dynamics Blue value-dominant population, with only some cities, such as mine, leaning toward Orange and Green values. As a result, this change has started to gain traction, but I'm unsure of where I stand on the matter. I would like to hear perspectives from those who are not directly involved in the situation. Thanks!