AlphaAbundance

I'm lazy anyone tryna slide some ressources so I can start the practice

How to be at peace, happy being alone without the need for friends, companionship?

^^^^ How do you know when you are in what is aware? (If you are aware of it doesnt that mean it's in awareness) Also how does staying in wwareness mean it will reveal itself? Seems like I am wasting my time, how does it work where staying in awareness, what is aware means it will reveal itself? Mods please don't ban me or delete any posts . I am just being a avid seeker.

^^^^^

@Knock I deeply appreciate the feedback. I will research further info this

Any images of space, the universe, galaxies, absolute infinity, parallel realities, your life flashing before your eyes type stuff? Consistently or during the radical shift of awareness? Martin Ball was talking about seeing fractals (not during the 5-Meo trip but after when he was enlightened, does this happen?) Also how does it feel to have a shift in awareness/consciousness independent t from any of the senses/emotions/thoughts/mind? As best as it can described

Like notcing you feel the eyes that are supposedly "seeing" the outside world Like notcing you feel the body that is supposedly "feeling" the outside world Like noticing you feel the head you are supposedly within (Unsure about this one) Like noticing when you imagine something the "physical world" dissapears Any clear obvious pointers, gimmicks or little noticing like this. Any ways to make self-inquiry faster and more efficient

How to make sure your not just fucking with yourself and feeling the back of your head? How do you know your with the true self? How to stay with the true self? If you have thoughts like "This is it, this may be the true self? Is this the true self" that distract "you" and pull "you" away from it Also is focusing on the self you think you are or the one that is aware/trying to get to the true self more effective? It seems like when I am focusing on my self I am just wasting my time and when I am focusing on true self I'm not getting there and am bullshiting myself. Do you keep questioning or just stay with true self or self? Which do you do for which in terms of (questioning/staying with) and (self/true self)? If it's so fucking obvious how come I can't see it right now and have to search for it and even then can't find it. Bare with me I'm trying to fine tune my practice. Appreciate any responses.

I know this has been asked a thousand times but bare with me. Even if "people" isn't the proper term, does my grandmother downstairs even exist? Is she having a consciousness experience like the one I experience right now. If so how do I know? If not why is harming "others" for benefit "bad", low consciousness, or "inmoral" or frowned upon? (You know what I fucking mean) Also how do I know any of you who reply even exist or have a consciousness experience or localized awareness (what does this even mean) type experience?

I understand that something is aware of my body, something is aware of my thoughts (which pretend to be me), something is aware of whatever else but can't get to that something and understand it but am not enlightened. Solution? I realized that I wrote as "my" thoughts so I identify as the owner of the thoughts sometimes probably but I digress And as soon as I disidentify (or whatever I think that to be, may be deluding myself) with thoughts I attach back to them during the day, during the time where I am not in self-inquiry. Solution?

@Aakash "Lmao would I " Dropped writing this thought as another came "Its weird that I actually said lmao in this thought" "Oh shit I missed a thought" "Wait I'm not thinking normally because I know I am going to write them" "Do you normally think in full sentences" "FUck what if these aren't accurate, authentic, what if I am missing something" Bruh that was actually fun ?. Is doing that by itself productive in any way like it is a form of meditation? It feels like I am controlling the thoughts even thought I am aware of them. (Side thought But who is aware of them?) Also what the fuck is awareness? Like attention/focus? Who is focusing? (Bruh I really need a spirtual teacher),

@Nahm So let go of the thoughts, or ask who is aware of these thoughts to return back to the practice? What if the thoughts are on the practice to make sure I am doing it correctly? Like how do I know I am actually reaching what Is aware of the thoughts? Is there something that will clearly notify me that I am where I am suppose to be?

@Aakash I see ah ha What if there is no awareness or perceiver and only all this phenomenon? Or is there certainly one that I am missing, I have to search for?

Like the key books that must be read and if it's on the booklist don't tell me just tell me to buy it

@Inliytened1 Then why do I follow it along all day Why am I/me as an awareness only around this body why can I move these hands to type this message why do I feel solely this body and not the side of the bed or the feeling of the wall or the feeling of everything in this awareness Why do I feel other things only when this body comes in contact with them Why do other people address this body as AlphaAbundance Why do I feel the effort to move and walk and talk and go to school every day Any ressources for me? Also why does this body have requirements to live as if it's in a physical world if it's only a dream? Is the illusion of a physical world purposefully?

@Aakash @Aakash Any suggestions for the best nonduality/enlightement books? Best beginner books? Best fundamental books? Like how "How to influence people dale carnegie" is key for social skills

@fridjonk Thank you but that doesnt change shit right now when I am unenlightened. Can you address my fears? @Aakash I pursue enlightenment because it believe it will solve all my problems, believe it is the most meaningful/valuable thing to do in life and bleieve it will bring nirvana/bliss Will I even care about happiness/bliss, feeling happy/joy when I am enlightened?

@Inliytened1 Yes I am this body, these thoughts that keep coming up (even as I write this the words are being heard/thought in whatever way in my head) and whatever other contents of the mind I am forgetting. Even if I am aware of body how does that not make it me? (Is it who is aware of the body? There has to be something aware of the body?) @Aakash Ard please help me with "even if I am aware of something how does it make it not me" objection? What do you mean by logic is subjective? What do you mean by trans-logic statements? And what does being aware of something mean there must be something aware? (I thought there was no perceiver) I know I'm annoying please just answer what you can

@Aakash Ok gratitude. How does being aware of something mean it can't be you? My thoughts/me like to challenge lots of things logically. How do you deal with these?

@tom rAy lmao yeah thats one of my fears in doing cold approaches. Also what I'm asking here and there are not necessarily contradicting goals How did it help you in being content alone?

@Knock Appreciate the feedback. I don't struggle with friends (and I hope am not deluding myself) its simply that every second or minute or situation where I am not talking to someone (in school) I think I should be talking to them or every single attractive female that is there I think I should be approaching them (I don't know if that's a problem but it sure is causing suffering maybe suffering from inaction?). This creates a dependency on needing to be socializing whenever it is possible to "live the best life" and "maximize my life". This may be related to need to be popular/validation/approval. Also on a unrelated topic (well everything is interconnected), everything seems meaningless since learning about enlightenment, watching Leo's video on meaning, etc. Except for things that bring direct joy if that makes sense. I am trying to understand it for now. For example, art seems meaningless but no matter how meaningless busting a nut may be, it's still direct joy. But even that seems meaningless. It's like I get the nihilism of everything being meaningless but not the joy of being enlightened.

@howdoistopobsessing I don't know much on those diets. I would pick the best one from all sources, your research and roll with it for now and see what changes in terms of effects on your health. I think it's kinda like different forms of cardio like running, biking, swimming (where they all are effective - of course this isn't for all diets like the cookie diet for example)

I feel desire to be the greatest. I feel desire for attention, validation, etc.To be recognized as Elon Musk, Tony Stark, Escanor, Alan Watts, etc, someone famous/respected, known as the best, most superior human This is also connected to my desire to have the greatest/best life I can possibly have, maximize my life completely. (If you are living your best life possible, this seems connected to being the greatest) This desire to be great even motivates me to do self-inquiry, meditation and spirtual practices - I feel worried thinking if I lose this desire I will lose all motivation I feel worried thinking this is "bad" but see it as good aswell I feel worried thinking through enlightenment "I" will lose the joy of confidence, esteem, validation, pride I feel worried thinking this is just some low self-esteem bullshit Any thoughts/advice/feedback on this?

@TrynaBeTurquoise Your right. How do I let go of this need for validation/approval/attention? And how do I avoid feeling negative when I encounter dissaproval/lack of attention/etc.

@IndigoGeminiWolf Lmao as god I would imagine a solution to hedonic adaptation