Sandy6

Knowing the value and strength is important. Ikigai, but sometimes it doesn't work. The book I recommend is "The Big Leap" by Gay Hendricks. Follow your passion, remember the struggles in your life, and answer the $100 million question; it can be a big clue. I personally agree that Leo's LP course is the best way to find a life purpose. I have struggled to find my life purpose for 10 years. Then I took the Actualized Life Purpose course twice before gaining some clarity. The key important point for me is answering the most important question. Remember, you might find imperfect things while finding your life purpose. If you feel stuck, go with what is most important, and let go of perfection or what is less important. That's the thing that helped me find my life purpose, and I'm still working on realizing it in practice!

First, I have read your thread. So I can somewhat understand your situation and empathize with your feelings. Although I don't have much experience or extensive knowledge about relationships, I can see that you perceive her as a wonderful person and you love her, which means there are many positive qualities and values in her. Currently, I have a girlfriend, and we have been in a relationship for 2 years. In the past, I have also attempted to form relationships with other girls. I have found it challenging to apply the theories and knowledge about relationships that I have learned because there are always unique challenges and situations that arise. Sometimes I know what I should do but find it difficult actually to do it. Understanding intimate relationships, in particular, takes time. Regarding money, I also had difficult experiences during my childhood and young age, until I took the initiative to start an online business and address many of my financial problems. I am still working on improving my financial situation. Saving is important, as well as investing, especially in terms of time. I also used to have a habit of spending too much, but I never spent more than I earned because, in the past, I couldn't buy whatever I needed or wanted, and now I can. I don't agree with your girlfriend spending too much. I believe the best approach is not just telling her to save or spend less, but rather teaching her about a lifestyle that is better than her current one, such as simplicity or minimalism, etc. However, I understand that changing beliefs and habits that have been ingrained for years, especially someone else's habits, can be difficult. Change should happen one step at a time, with small but continuous progress. In my case, even my girlfriend has asked me to live with her parents after we get married because she is the only daughter. I understand that we have different perspectives, but sometimes is normal for your girlfriend to desire an independent house, children, and marriage, especially considering the cultural norms in the country I live in, where most people expect those things. I just want to emphasize that not every partner is perfect. However, we need a partner whom we can accept if we choose to commit to a relationship with them. For example, if there is a value of hers that I can no longer tolerate, it would be better for me to leave my girlfriend. So, it really depends on you. If you can help her change, then do so using a different approach. If you can accept her habits, then get them and take responsibility for them. Some problems are subjective. If you can't handle it anymore, you should consider other options. You see her as a wonderful person, but one of her habits, particularly regarding money, is causing difficulty for you. Therefore, I suggest you reflect and introspect, write down possible solutions, and make the decision that you believe is best for your life. Remember that we have faced many challenges to come this far, and we are responsible for making our future life and relationship better. So, based on my limited experience, I hope you can consider this from your perspective, and I hope it helps!

Let me share my story. I have been very passionate and excited about personal development for around 2 years. However, after managing my OCD and discontinuing CBT therapy with psychologist and medication with psychiatrist, i do ERP with my own then I lost interest in my life. I am still working on overcoming this, though. I believe the solution to anhedonia is to experience things that no longer bring pleasure or interest. For instance, I used to thoroughly enjoy reading and writing for about 8 years, but I lost interest in those activities. The solution is to allow myself to experience the emotions, even if it means feeling bored or unable to experience pleasure. If you know of any methods out there that share a similar concept, such as CBT or mindfulness, they would be helpful. The key here is to not let anhedonia hinder our pursuit of our purpose. Personally, I am currently focusing on building habits one at a time to engage in activities that I don't find enjoyable. After consulting a psychologist, she mentioned that I might be experiencing burnout, which could also be the case if you're not feeling depressed. Anhedonia is often considered a sign of depression, but in my case, I don't believe I am depressed. I just feel burned out and eager to try something new. Achieving great results with something new would be fantastic as well.

Hey, after long time, i decide to post this thread on actualized forum . Quick background, i'm 24 yo from Southeast Asia, following Leo's videos for years and became silent reader on this forum. I never going to seek psychiatrist or any professional help, living on small village make not easy to reach, and after broke also depression i didn't have money to pay for it. Currently, i get little better and start my new business also doing personal development. Although i understand this forum are not for medical advice, but this is what i can do right now. I think it will help if share about my problem or get important advice here! I am not native English. It's like self-diagnose, but i have exactly symptoms of pure o ocd, i have obsessive sexual thought about family, not sexual basically but like a porn, such as nude images, words, or urges. And it's feel the thought contaminating anything what i do. Worst of all, my mind keep moralizing that something is bad/dislike/disturb or create something like "if this then this" etc irrationally. And i think this is the root of the problem who caused any obsession, fear, and compulsion. I have Muslim background, but when write this post, i already let go and begin the journey of understanding reality. My compulsion are like change with positive thought, doing the work repeatedly until feel uncontaminated, stop activity or avoid the intrusive thought or washing. Even when i try to get ideas or solve my ocd, then unwanted obsession come, it's said that the ideas are contaminated and feel wrong too. Some compulsion even happen automatically. I know this is stupid and i know what should be right, but when i try to force it can feel anxious 16 hours per day, unless i sleep. This is also the time how obsession can come, attack and uncontrollable. Some triggers are like externals when i saw people or when i doing something important. My mind usually try to analyze and prove battling itself that i'm not wrong and find a way how to get unstuck. I've even been stuck for 4 hours doing nothing and cannot move my body, because when i move feel wrong. This ocd make so much negative effect on my life and my happiness. And when something is little better, my mind is like try keep searching a way to make me feel wrong. Sometime i doing the obsession or thought intentionally for analyzing or accidentally or while i mad why it can't be stop. Since 9 yo, i remember have first pure o ocd, my mind say words to insult God. I doing compulsion then obsession may disappear, weirdly it became auto compulsion that cannot be stop. In that moment, i don't care so much and didn't know that was ocd, until i'm 21 years old. Particularly i didn't care if my mind say something which almost never be stopped for years. It is crazy, but i tried not to disturbed by those thought. It seems like palilalia and now can be so distracting. When i grow up, also i care so much about halal wealth, purity, contamination of bad things even from people, or something weird like i must walking on that path or something must be like this. And any other form of pure o ocd thought, such as harm, or how if something happen; irrationally, etc. I live with a lot of doubt and so neurotic. Afterward something start to go wrong, 2 years ago when i unconsciously make everything clean or uncontaminated from certain people. For many form of ocd before, i think is not a big deal. But around 6 month ago, the hell come. When idk, have the pure o ocd about sexual obsessive thought. Until now, i really didn't get any peace of mind and everything seems so horrible. Before, i have thought to kill myself or want to die multiple times a day because this problem. Then i try to find solution and help. I don't assume sex or porn is bad or something like that, i think is normal and good, i love see beautiful girl and i love my girl friend. But can feel so disturbing when related with some people who you respect or you didn't want to or impossible to even think about that. I also have some bad moment in the past from people who judge or angry with me, or belief like i must respect and don't ever doing mistakes or shameful in front of those people since was kid. I do what i possibly can, i do a very lot of research, from many perspective and different sources, and a lot of contemplating or journaling. I also watch almost all Leo's video. I talk with my friends, and try many method. I try focusing to overcome this specific mental problem for last 6 month. Technique like acceptance, exposure, stop victim mentality and taking responsibility, mindfulness / awareness, try stop care, even start learning and doing enlightenment work. Nothing really help yet. I know from my place and my recent condition, another alternative method like psychedelic, healing, or something like that really not available here or so much alternative that maybe i can't reach. Doing positive activity like meditating, yoga, exercise, healthy food, or stuff like that maybe just little help and not so effective for me too. From my experience, the technique that found more help now is the Letting Go technique. I already try understanding and practicing for about 6 month. And because i am not so good at it and too difficult to let stuff go, and feel so complicated, so this is cannot 100% cure or managed yet but make little help. I still try reacting instead of respond. Especially when my emotion are low or i'm confused. Motivation cannot help, only make little better. I cannot life like this so more I know i said horrible things before or how not understand am i. Actually i am really passionate man. I have purpose, want to change and work. Also i make commitment to keep doing this self actualization work. Surely, it is hard to start the journey like this when my environment are different and has been conditioned so much. I have been experiencing difficult moment in my life in the past like grief, fail multiple times on business, doing the job that i don't like, money problem, being single and so on. Or internal problem like porn addiction and laziness. When i was school i am student with good grade, successfully run online business 6 years ago, building new habits. Even only few people can speak English here, and very rare to know about self actualization work. I already overcome so much stuff in my life also build strong attitude. I also have girl that always support me. But i can say this is my most difficult problem in my entire life. Yep, i know maybe it will make me stronger, but it so difficult. Like i said before, there are part of my mind that is so judgmental, and i have other part that saying what is true from my direct experience and try understand that what Leo said is true. But i didn't know why this judgmental mind is win and seems conquering all my life. While something happen, i try to interpret with different meaning, it's still cannot change. BUT sometime my mind can agree when reason are soo good. And when i try like, don't believe your mind, it also not work because i keep using my mind and feel anxious all the time. So, maybe you guys can help me give the very good reason, about what i doing or happened is absolutely not wrong or bad or dislike. I hope you spend time to responds this thread with something that really helpful and i possible to do. Right now i'm trying to have strong letting go attitude to end this ocd. I will really appreciate a lot! Or glad if get reply direct from @Leo Gura I just want to live a normal life with purpose, work, and peace of mind. Sorry, if i still not understand so many things that i said because i also just beginning of learning something that never teach for me before. Thank you

Hi, i'm 24 yo, already try to find my life purpose few years ago, also watched all @Leo Gura Life Purpose videos course and doing exercises, still not find clarity yet. Then i try to explore more. I'm start doing personal development 7 years ago, trying to improve areas of my life. But i lack of purpose for others, i still didn't know or figuring out what should i do in my one life. And feel lost. So before i start working on my dream career, i need clarity of purpose first. From my own research, based on ikigai concept, Leo's zone of genius and impact statement concept, or from career coach advice, i concluded there are 4 things that make fulfilling and meaningful work: Passion (Do what you love) Skill (Your talent, what you want to put in 10.000 hours and be world class, become self awareness) Impact (Your contribution to the world, what make satisfaction while help others) Money (And other outcome like followers, etc; not as destination but we know that is important) If those 4 things are overlap, you can find your life purpose. Then i categorize work options, in 6 category: Politic Knowledge (ex: scientist, philosopher, religious teacher etc) Professional (ex: doctor, police, administrator, programmer, etc) Entrepreneur Artist Sport After trying to figure out, i found that Entrepreneur is my life purpose. Those 4 are overlap from my 6 options. First, i inspired to become entrepreneur at 17yo after watched Thailand movie about seaweed snack industry. Then i not go to college, instead i starting my own internet marketing business. Then, after that, i know about personal development and become interested with it, then try to start self-actualization journey. Leo's content help me a lot until now. We know that, mostly we sleep 8 hours a day, doing our daily habits like eat healthy; exercise; relationship; etc on 8 hours, and we work 8 hours day. Yeah time is depend on us. I think is important to have life purpose that really matter and give meaning to us and the world. Especially on big dream. Right now i still working on my internet marketing business from home. But not feel fulfilling. As i said, i interested became entrepreneur, but you know that entrepreneur are broad, there are many field like food, finance, computer, automotive, education, health, construction, transportation, entertainment, electronic, etc. And i love Social Media, this thing overlap from my 4 too. But i still don't find what niche that meaningful to me. I already try explore and contemplating all options for years but still there no result on me. It's like those options are not overlapping. I hope you understand what i mean. I know i love entrepreneur and social media, but not find any field or niche that meaningful to me. Now, i also work with psychologist to help me. From all options i have, i have two things that might possible be my life purpose. And that is: Digital Marketing (i love doing it, have skill, and can produce money, but i lack on impact statement, i don't feel this is meaningful enough to help others, often times i keep asking other impact like what make health important, what make programming meaningful, or video game are wonderful, but not feel anything) Personal Development (i love doing, curious and passionate about it, also i love the impact of changing people life, but i lack of skill, like i can't speak English and not understand personal development enough, i start doing personal development not because of my strength but because i have so much weakness on my life so i try to improve, so its hard to me too for selling stuff here, also i love creating personal development content on social media but i am not prefer on coaching people) And that is. I don't know anymore. I already doing my best. Maybe you can find something there, maybe any mistake. I need your advice to find my life purpose. Please! Thank you so much

Yes, got it!

@NahmThis is what i feel and what i want, any thought?

@SamC Thank you. I think i need go it emotionally. What i feel is. Since years ago, i have burning desire that i want to create blog, youtube channel, instagram, facebook, tiktok, podcast, ebook, etc. I doing internet marketing for money for years, without showing myself, i go it anonymously or using brand name. I started it since 2012. Then i have want and love to show something valuable for others, via which medium i mentioned before using my name, my self, show on it. This is why i so inspired which blogger like http://zenhabits.net, http://stevepavlina.com, and of course http://actualized.org. I am self-help junkie. I contemplate that if i die, i'm glad that i already doing meaningful work in this life. On that L.P course, Leo ask us to answer 3 person who inspired us the most in life, and my answer was Elon Musk, Leo Gura, and Mark Zuckenberg. (I know some of you have some thinking about Elon and Zuck but i inspired with them) I am so passionate about sharing something online and love personal development. What i realize it, i'm not good at English, especially speak, that make me want to create using my local language (Bahasa Indonesia). I also not good at public speaking and not liking work offline. When i look and research on local market, i afraid i will not make enough money because lack of skill, (most my research are accurate, from my experience) so make me considering become entrepreneur or digital marketing niche instead personal development, because it can produce outcome also experience from me. Let say my passion (without going logically, more emotionally) is personal development, i have two logical questions: 1. Is this okay doing it only using more on online/digital medium? Like blog, social media, ebook but not life coaching or seminar (i interested on book btw) 2. If i can't make enough money on this, is this okay also doing internet marketing and other business as entrepreneur to support my income. How i can separate my life purpose (personal development) with also working on other business? It's still like i also doing another thing for making money. For example, Leo or even Elon Musk, put all in from their purpose, they generate income from what they purpose only. But me also doing another things but not my life purpose? I'm sure you get it. I am not so obsessed with money, but i need money for living. Since kid i born poor, that's why i interested became entrepreneur. I have low self-esteem in the past, especially moment when girls reject my love. That make me want to having lot followers on social media, but i not interested about celebrity. In Leo's course there are negative value release, and i did that. Everybody not perfect, and me too. : ) That is. It going so deeply when i write this, seriously Btw thank you : ) I think this post can get reply also perspective for others from this forum too

@Nahm That's what i need, i mean want . New perspective and deep understanding. That's what you said are true Thank you. What you suggest on me? I came from low-consciousness understanding. Take some time for reading your words. Such this is concept of Law of attraction. Should i do more meditate? I doing basic personal development / self-help for years, but still not focus enough on spirituality. I think will be amazing, if i get advice from high-consciousness / awareness understanding for person like me considering life purpose. I'm newbie. This is what i do so far, and now i'm working on finding life purpose What work should i do and what things should i understand based on your experience or what words you can bring to me? I'm type of person who wanna learn & do the work. Thank you ^ _ ^

Yes, Leo's suggest using OneNote for commonplace book, but i using EverNote. I doing the course 2 times for 10 days straight, and get same answer: Personal Development This is my latest me sheet + top 5 questions: Life Purpose: Use creative marketing to giving insight, grow people life Zone of Genius: Creative marketing Domain of Mastery: Personal development Ideal Medium: Blog, Youtube, other Social Media Top 10 Values: Contribution/impact Creativity/Inguenity Personal Growth/Self-Actualization/Self-Help/Personal Development/Self-Improvement Love/Romance/Intimacy Purpose Optimism/Positivity/Hope Knowledge/Learning/Understanding Excellence Spirituality Uniqueness Top 5 Strengths: Creativity, ingenuity, and originality Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness Perspective wisdom Industry, diligence, and perseverance Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith The top 5 questions that fascinate me the most about life are… What the meaning of life? How to change life? How to change fast? What the best profession in the world who suit me the most? How important of personal development? But @SamC if i take the course again, the answer might be entrepreneur or digital marketing or others, this is why i'm not sure. I do personal development all the time, i think, i talk about it, i became self-help junkie, but feel not so skilled about this topic if i share with others. I also spend most my time online and doing Internet Marketing for 7+ years and earn money, after interested became entrepreneur and didn't go to college. But the problem is if i asked using this questions (method), those answer not overlap I don't know what's wrong: Is this concept have wrong question because this is my version? or because i not understanding about impact statement about my work like internet marketing? or other things? For example, this is my another exercise, if i using ikigai concept (see the difference) i can found my life purpose but not sure about it because i feel not meaningful enough. Personal Development Are you love? YES Are you good? NO Are the world need? YES Are you get paid? YES (But no, if i not good enough) Entrepreneur Are you love? YES (Sometime no in some field) Are you good? NO (Entrepreneur are so broad, sometime i'm not good on some field or industry) Are the world need? YES Are you get paid? YES Internet marketing Are you love? YES Are you good? YES Are the world need? YES Are you get paid? YES This is my life purpose based ikigai concept: Digital Marketing, but i not feel having meaningful impact. And i try apply this questions on hundred of profession/occupations on my commonplace book. I damn serious about it. I'm looking this for years, still didn't get answer. But deeply serious about finding this life purpose, and doing it every single day in last month. This is real work In FAQ video, Leo's said if we have not found life purpose or for my case, not sure. We need explore to find clarity. That was i am doing. Correct me if have any wrongs on my thinking or some advice or you have any clue from what i write. Thank you! It interesting, right?

Update: After 6 month i looking back on this thread, i just try to give solution who have diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder. So quick story, after i diagnosed with ocd, long story, i work with psychiatrist for medication and psychologist for CBT, but what work on me the most is ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy, this is work. Search app called NOCD on Play Store or Apple Store You can also search channel: Mark Freeman, OCD and Anxiety by Nathan Peterson, Ali Greymond Finally, after long journey, i can manage my ocd. If i look my suffering in the past, even want to suicide, it really glad i'm here and finally overcame it. Every problem has a solution, don't lose hope! Btw, right now i focus on finding my life purpose after taking Leo's Life Purpose Course: Help me if you can by reply on that thread. I hope this information really help you all who suffer with ocd, anxiety, or other neurotic symptoms. For me is effective, rather waste a lot time for other solutions that didn't work. The key here: Is let the thought, and don't do any compulsions or try to control them. Let thought be thought, and have no meaning. Keep practicing and see the difference until you healed. The obsession will lose their power. Hope it helps! Thank you Glad to share experience here, i made it with ERP and you can too : )

@Matt23 I think what excited and motivate me is creating content about personal development and share to the world, but i lack of skill on this domain, so make me hard to get income. I also not so passionate about coaching or speaking, i loving doing it online. Sometime i confused, what make the work meaningful, impactful and we became influence on it? I just think personal development meaningful because it is connected with life and reality, and we talk about it, try to understand and try make the best life as possible. But i didn't know how other field are meaningful enough too, for example automotive, aerospace, music, video game, health, overcoming poverty are meaningful too. I keep thinking if someday i will die, so what worth pursuing and doing for hours for it in life? For example, i'm good at internet marketing, i'm passionate about it, and i can make money or get followers. But what meaningful about helping people or company to market their business digitally? It is worth for my one life just because i'm good and gifted at it? I didn't have impact statement on this. I need understand to make world better place and what influence can i give from my potential. I interested on inspiration and the feeling of meaningful, or connect with reality/life. When i look on @Leo Gura for example, he have very inspiring purpose. Or when i watch this channel: People say we must become self aware, so we need understanding who we actually are versus who we need/want to be. Yes i overthinking about it, maybe because i think, thinking and finding about life purpose is worth for the only one life we have. I do exploring, contemplating, research, journaling about it, even work with psychologist. Maybe i need time to understanding and get perspective. Although i know i already even explore many type of profession or occupations available, i do by read book, watching how they work, try their work in practice, do journal about their work, but still don't get it. And from my 4 things above on my thread (passion, skill, impact, money), entrepreneur is my life purpose, but i didn't sure what field i will work on. I love the hustle, i have skill on few field so i can earn profits, but what meaningful impact/influence is what make me keep thinking. I hope you understand what i mean. I will find my way : ) @SamC What i do when i don't have to do anything? I think it's learning, spend time with someone i love and love me back, connecting with God with meditation. And for others, i think i entertain them with singing or talk with speaking. I don't think my answer can give me clue what my purpose is But yeah, i keep asking question to myself, friend. On Leo's Life Purpose course, there are exercise about 100 most questions we ask about life, we also need answer what our zone genius, impact statement etc. It helps me but feel still need more to find clarity what works on me. @ItsNick Yes that's true. It's when we too much thinking but didn't get anywhere. But for me, i will find it if i put in the work for finding solutions even takes time. I'm actually already doing something different in last 7 years, sometime it works, sometime is no. I fail, and try again. Of course i will keep going, thank you I just beginning finding deeply about my life purpose last month btw, i hope i will find it sooner. I just want to wake up in the morning, and being motivated about what i will do this day, and when i wanna sleep at night, at the end of the day, i just thinking that i already doing something good today. Feels good, but need work to find it. I keep asking: What i passionate about? What my skill, talent, and gift? What impact and influence i wanna give? Is this will get outcome? And i answer this question: Entrepreneur Social media Those two answers are overlap from my 4 questions, but i still didn't know what field or niche i will work on. When i answer with Internet marketing, i feel didn't have fulfilling influence When i answer with work on personal development, i lack on skill When i answer with another field/niche is still can't overlap. I hope you guys help me find clarity. Sorry if feel complicated, but i love to make it simple. Thank you : D

Thank you for responses on my thread before https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/50209-advice-to-letting-go-of-pure-o-ocd/, it helps, many insight and i appreciate. And the answers before might works, suits or similar if apply on this thread, but by continuing with start new thread using more specific question, plus new understanding, i think can get better outcome. After contemplating, i ask myself: what the most important question to ask people for dealing with pure o ocd? Then i get that the question is from what the sufferer fear the most. And of course the answer here not as medical advice, but will help others in almost same condition. From a general perspective (self-help), you as friend / forum member. So it's not only for me, but apart from my story, your reply can be read for others too. After i search, there are many suffers with ocd on this forum, also a lot of silent reader / guest who views from different reference until found Actualized personal development forum. On my case (i am courage try not be ashamed to share here), while i doing work or activity, i have sexual obsession; a naked images about people/ friend in the past who i didn't like (some man) because was bullied me for example. Please notice, i'm not traumatic, won't forgiving, or can't love others since i have people as obsession on previous thread like someone i respect. So trauma is not the main cause here, but on the horrible thought that can't stop. Almost 16 hours a day for last 8 month unless i sleep or forgot. Sometimes i am accidentally think naked images while analyzing to found solution (not as intrusive thought) and make me feel wrong. And guilt more sins if happen on cause effect way. Instead of letting go, my thought want destroy myself. So, the key problem is in the work/ life which i think are important is believed or understand as contaminated with naked thought, especially if i remember on future. For example, "Oh i started this 6 years project while i have naked thought person i hate. Damn...!". My problem is described as emotional or mental contamination http://www.psychologyandbehavior.com/ocd-starting-over-compulsions-undoing/ even act way continuously spread, such when one of my activity contaminated by negative thought (for example: going to coffee and having bad thought), so while i doing work then remember going to coffee shop it make my job contaminated too. In the past, i learn concept on my religion; that work can't be blessed by God if we doing bad at the same time. Then this is trigger my thought to think bad, particularly porn about people i know. Now, i'm not care about bless instead become very unpleasant. I even feel good if imagining cute girl LOL. That's case make me anxiety and doing compulsions like repeating small task over and over again until have no negative thought. So my main fear is not on the thought, but on contaminated work or something in life (activity/ idea) that i think is matter. This is why hard to me for doing exposure or acceptance, even just aware. Many said that the neurotic solution is by going meta because ego is the root problem. And this disorder can gave opportunity for true grow. But yeah, based from own personal experience, is difficult to work on newbie like me. When you feel contaminated on your work, what you gonna do on the same situation? Without or to prevent from compulsion. I know it seems irrational. All fear is relative and imaginary. How can thought contaminating activity or my decision. While i try to not give any power on the thought, because are uncontrolled, meaningless, and make stuck on guilt, it's hard, excuse me or sorry if i stubborn. And when something is more important and thought are more worst, it get harder to let go. Seems like i have no choice between reacting a.k.a being stupid or rationalize disgust about my life. If i doing nothing, what attitude i gonna hold. That's why i am asking. It's not mean i ask the same problem again or make overthink. But need different insight from different kind of question. I am aware perhaps there are many advice, but strong or not depend on me, so i must really committed to get healed. If any mistake from everything i said, apologize, i also on the way of learning and practice to love myself : ) nb: after bunch of research, try some method, doing many healthy habits, even just keep on routine and stop trying then hoping can heal or reduce itself, seek help including psychological counseling and alternative medicine, i have plan go to psychiatrist next time. I will keep going, through live on place which rare for mental help options, on social distancing time, also grind with financial problem. I believe there are hope. The reply which posted here will help a lot as tips for my next treatment. And others too. I just realize that if we got certain problem, especially internal, you need seek help as much as you possibly can. We can't do it all alone. Much Love <3 Sandy

@bejapuskas Thanks for such loving words Yeah, i almost losing all hope but still believing there a sun. Although very difficult right now. Yep, it's not too odd for know globally, on my environment mostly focus on materials improvement. I get support from my several relationship, which is little good. I will persue my dream, that i think i capable and deserve. I already doing what most didn't do for years. But this obstacle trying to stop me. I believe i will get healed and continue normal life again and contribute. <3

Hi @bejapuskas I watched some of her video. Good informations there aside with other channels and content from some therapist on social media too. The situation here is so rare about ocd, maybe many people are hiding to share about it and only some people with little symptoms. I got only few news about people with ocd on my country. Even while i browse keyword 'pure o ocd' using my local language to reach information, it almost not shown unless english, although i live in huge society with large internet information on my language. When i talk to my close friends, they said that they never heard problem like this before. One of my friend ever experience a past symptoms i have, having intrusive thought for few days but not severe like mine. Basically i feel ashamed too and need courageous, but i must doing this to get support. I should choose between ashamed or not get help / important information. I truly understand can't solve this problem alone. I ever talk with close friends, family, teacher who i trust, and of course talk only on necessary thing or words and can't tell all. Next time i have plan to seek psychiatrist, i live on small village, where some professionals are more available on the city, which also challenge to go out in social distancing on current situation. Actually little difficult here, some available options are psychologist, psychiatrist, and some kind of traditional alternative. Even after i have financial problem. On this week i already try traditional alternative. But yeah i will keep going : ) I aware that i need help, and i must seek that. And choose the best treatment as i can reach. Last week, i try force myself to work and some activity with my current condition, but so hard to me because my ocd get worst last month after target obsession change. After this, i will start new thread here because i think necessary to ask, with more specific question, so your answer guys might useful (after i sort out of course) as "capital" on my next professional treatment. Regards

Hi, after 30 days focusing to solve this problem with help and support from my psychology student girl friend. I think "acceptance" is important think we should consider to dealing with OCD. It will make your Letting Go stronger : ) Hope it helps!

Hi@samueldu, Thank you and welcome for spend your first time to reply here. Appreciate your help! I ever practice EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) in the past for dealing with addiction, so this is not first time for me. This technique similar with exposure, but with tapping some meridian points on our body. May i can use acceptance words like this in intensity rating/level 10: "Even if doing this important activity while i have sexual thought, it's okay" Whether is create placebo effect or miraculous energy or whatever we don't know. It works and fix on you. I'll try it myself btw : ) And i feel sorry to you for struggle with pure o ocd in 20+ years, and you can overcame that. Might be you can share what type of pure o ocd you have also tell some of your experience. Including how often you still doing compulsion after some technique or effort applied until ocd reduced. Everyone can have different symptoms and subjective fear, the level of anxiety are different, but one method can possibly apply for different type. Though also many solutions over there. We need to know what works for us. Sometime i need decide, whether i should 1) don't care about my work/life contaminated status, 2) go to solve the root of obsession, 3) accepting that my life is very bad, 4) pretending that i am right or true because not in control despite what i see is horrible, 5) keep exposuring the fear while not knowing when will end, when there two times; when you in the session or on daily life practice, or 6) going meta with awareness, just see and do nothing, although often experiencing backlash, or 7) just calm the mind with activity and other routine that help to reduce anxiety, 8) any other technique i practice which still make some reaction/compulsion to prevent from negative stuff. And stop making everything complicated so just simply Now, i had a technique that can little help. So, i keep going and doing life/work with adversity/compulsions until mind forget and not interested. But trying another practice and researching or questioning like this can making better Cheers

Yes @mandyjw now i almost have no intrusive thought related with religious anymore. My thought transform, and now care about how horrible if my activity starting when at the same time have dreadful naked thought about certain people i don't want. Practicing self-love become difficult as "regular" human being when we also need to love the dark side of us. It is like we usually go right instead of left, because normally we want to survive. Intrusive thought force me to go left, but i want to go right. And love need to go up, instead what happen to me is go down because i can't live with the left way. Is very counter-intuitive. I in the process of studying it. But yeah, got telling what is true and experiencing what is true, can make huge difference for dealing with problem like this. Actually, it is hard to me when i spend last few years of my life as young for find meaning, and developing all strategy to become productive and grow, from low condition. Suddenly i have obstacles like this, life hit me, when i was ready. I feel this is holding my potential, though the same time make me stronger if i can surpass this. I agree with you. Sometime i thinking, if i stop trying to solve this case, maybe it will step by step disappear itself. About what you said, yes, is like understanding the deep ocean instead from surface. And very difficult for normal people to do so. Is like how is possible i say is good, when what i see is bad and feel worst. Amazing insight man. Your words of inner voice to force to destroys "my" life, and about wrong-right, love, and see good from the bad, is very precious for me. Thank you! From my experience, in OCD we can talk about: How to stop reacting Dealing with fear Morality Source of obsession (like i talk with Roy before) Contamination (something you think important to protect in life) Because my ocd pattern like this: Something important - Intrusive thought from what you fear the most - How wrong it is (Morality) - Fear (Anxiety) - Reacting / Compulsion I have learned some method about how to stop reacting / letting go but i still reacting. You know, if i commit to zero reactions but when i make one reaction, every technique like going to be weak again for this case. I also tried exposure with fear, but idk it's not make any reducement, maybe because i do it alone without therapist or enough skill. When i try to see good from bad / truth, practicing love, accepting, etc it just the bad things showing up from what i see and it's like cannot hold anymore. When trying to change obsession and understanding the root of it, it so difficult. And also hard to didn't care about something that mostly we love for. I will keep going no matter what : )

I feel sorry too for your suffering @Roy you said some facts that touch me and give the most common way for dealing with it and easy to understand about letting go. I know it's hard to practice it, when the thought become so worst. For me is feel contaminated also bad future. Thank you so much for writing that so long. I contemplating value advice like that. I want to go detail, so might some people can understand. And i think is good for learn too also sharing for some who already suffered with pure o ocd. Although must be prepared, my explanation may will sound so stupid at the same time while reading stuff bellow So, my thought are now change. Before it thought about family which now almost disappear, then now thought about a friend who bullied me while i was a kid. This is how it works. When i do the important work; registering, start something, save important digital file, create ideas which function for the rest of my life, make life decision, (all is also as triggers). Then the image of penis/boobs/ass rises on my mind. Or thought like "how if i doing this sexually with person i don't like (very horrible scary idea) before i starting this job" on cause and effect way. Because my activity have long term effect, then when the thought came, everything will feel so unpleasant and contaminated with. I am afraid of how if i feel that guilt on the future. Even like this; if i have those scary thought, while i read something and get important lesson from it. Later when i use the lesson, the ideas become feel guilty, then if those ideas generating another new ideas, it can feel bad again, so on and on, continuously contaminated on causality mode. I have experience, idk it might be experiencing by others. Well i think the obsession are attached or depend on the thing called idea. Seems like i can stop the obsession, if this concept stopped. For example, i had intrusive thought of two person about 1 month: aunt cousin Then it change, and for example the target of intrusive thought about 5 month became: sister other cousin other aunt Uniquely, intrusive thought and any fear about those persons with -any attribute or many models of obsession- "before change", drastically reduced. Including the rationalizing ideas for it, also have no more meanings. Okay next, i have another intrusive thought again only for 1 day: kid on the street i see few years ago even i don't know who is he Then right now change to this person and don't know why not change again friend who once bullied me at school (even i have other friend that bullied me more than him) It makes any anxiety from other people listed "before change", already released, ALL. Seemingly fear beaten by more fear. This is why i said, it just get worse. For another my ocd symptom like religious, harm, diseases, and any other form got beaten also because i have more fear obsession. Luckily also affecting my attitude in positive way. If before i so hard to deal with addiction or laziness, now became so easy, because it just small deal comparing to my current fear. Although i will choose become lazy rather than have ocd I don't know how to change it or what make me fear one person than another. Few days ago, after i have 3 obsession of people for 5 month. I just tried asked how if i fear this other person, how if i fear this other person, and that's why my obsession change. But when i try again with another person, it doesn't want to change again, damn. It happen subconsciously. I doing this because expecting if i can stop this pattern, may everything can be solved, but still not yet. For this case, fear not work for someone i really love, like with girlfriend or beautiful girl or someone i think this person is so kind. Sometimes, i thinking why i have this idea or concept or this kind of rationality. And why i care and why i cannot erased by myself and keep stuck on generating fear. Yes, is better to silent and not analyzing those kind of crazy stuff. And not get lost and absorbing on emotions as you said, yep difficult. In the past 20 days, i make 30 days inner work commitment to dealing with pure o ocd of sexual thought with learning and applying best technique. Until 10 days later, i will end this progress no matter what the result is. And back to normal work. Thank you for help me in this journey bro

@Inliytened1 While try to focus "outside'' of the mind, like to awareness, activity (physical), or live from heart, it's always back to mind while anxiety or intrusive thought attack. So, it is hard to me as a normal person with ego and having ocd. Maybe a normal healthy mind person can easy to ignore that relative fear or in the high state of awareness. From recent days, my obsession change, may get worst, from family and now other people (which i have bad experience on the past). I never thought it can change. But when target change, past target (people obsession) become release on my mind and like i don't have more ocd anymore about those people. After research other technique, find reason and make my method strong. I don't think there are cure or no reaction, when your thought so worst. As self with different level of fear. And feel contaminated on my most important purpose in life. Unless you forgot. May ocd can dissapear itself after we not care more about it as time goes on... without needed the perfect technique. What i do now is still practicing letting go also some spiritual practice like pray. I do what work for me and what i can do. Thank you so much btw for your response, i know this is from your experience. Maybe anybody have any other advice? I glad for read that.

Thank you. I watched it. Pure O OCD is like i know that feeling is lie, but my mind still attach too much into that feeling or that reason. The obsession are so disturbing. I have some cleaning type of ocd before, but already get rid off it, and other form too. But this pure is most difficult to bear. While i trying to let go, that attachment on it still. For example, i have some naked images about someone i respect while i work, then my mind telling me to doing compulsion, then when i try to let go. My mind making reason like: this work are contaminated, what happen in the future if you remember you starting this while have negative thought that unpleasant, this is too big because only one person naked image not three person and your work decision are so important for the rest of your life but contaminated, this is really i hate this. And some other stupid reason like that and anxiety. Sometime i confused, while i have obsession and that reason, but on unmotivated state, so my attitude to deal with it seems have no power. And wondering why not go naturally subconsciously, so i wouldn't care and living in peace then focus on my purpose. I need strong letting go so that reason and anxiety disappear, may i can get technique here! Even i thought, maybe if i married it will end, i get confidence and strong reason. Or enlightenment. But, it might only happen on long time.