howdoistopobsessing

@Dan502 I would absolutely feel less terrified! About your next point, that reminds me of something called DiCarlo's escalation ladder. How do I put myself in a drunk girl situation? Should I go to a bar after midnight? Clubs aren't good for me unless women don't mind earplugs because I have hearing over-sensitivity.

@Michael569 what you quoted means that I think/(over)analyze/worry/ruminate/philosophize WAY too much. It explain my issues in my recent post "What's the most effective meditation technique?"

@IndigoGeminiWolf "If everything you desired manifested, would you truly be happy?" I strongly think yes because once you've lived in scarcity for so long you can hardly function normally.

@TheSomeBody it is but I'm too terrified to try to kiss anyone.

@AlphaAbundance ok, I'll figure out which one to do. Now I'm debating whether I should follow the paleo, vegetarian paleo, or the Ayurvedic diet that was prescribed to me two months ago. The doctor said that I have too much air and space and that I'm "vata", some Sanskrit term. I don't know if I should eat meat again or not because it seems like I can get all my nutrients from non-meat sources, but I don't know.

I consulted an Ayurvedic doctor a few months ago and she gave me a diet plan and said I'm too high in air and space, and that my dosha is vata. I don't know if this is true or bs. Another option is paleo, but it involves meat and I'm vegetarian and don't want to contribute to animal suffering so I don't get bad karma, but if it's really necessary, I can switch back to meat to see if it helps.

@AlphaAbundance thank you so much for your input. The most immediate problem with starting tomorrow is that there are 3 9s in the date, and if I start on Tuesday, the second day is the 11th and being the second day, add a 2 and you get 4. What I could do is start them for a few weeks, then when I come across a "good" date, I quit them for a week before, and then start them again. I know I'm crazy; sorry .

@AlphaAbundance I like where you're going, but those other forms of intimacy could also be "banned" by God. Regarding your second bullet point, psychedelics I fear could be way too dangerous for me (bad trips that could either temporarily terrify or permanently damage me), same with Kundalini which could be very dangerous from what I've read, and maybe God either doesn't want me to get enlightened, or Christians are right and enlightenment doesn't exist, or anything else. All these issues obviously stem from not knowing "for sure" how God works, because of obsessively fearing all the negative possibilities despite not having any personal proof for or against them. It's very complicated, like my ego (if it really exists) created a prison in me, or maybe I'm the only conscious being and no one else in conscious and God is some kind of semi-sadistic "scientist" or aliens or anything. I'd do the Wim Hof method (did it for two days but then read about cases where people got permanent tinnitus and I noped out) or holotropic/Shamanic breathing, but I'm afraid of negative consequences, so I'm completely stuck and paralyzed. I have no idea how/why all this even happened. It's so crazy that I feel like I'm the only one dealing with this. I guess there's some kind of way overblown fear/negative energy in me for some reason. I saw Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Ji of the Art of Living in person, and meditated with him, but felt no difference or change at all.

@AlphaAbundance yeah, I can approach and talk to them sometimes and it goes fine, but it's the kissing and sex that I'm so afraid will be rejected. It's all the practices that you listed. Yes, that the practice won't work, and that I'll possibly even get injured or go insane or something else bad. What do you mean find other ways of physical intimacy and fuck them?

I don't have any (for free) right now (see my last post) and I feel like the only way to solve my OCD problem is if there's a sure way to live happily without intimacy in case it never happens to me.

@AlphaAbundance forgot to mention you. I'll research more about Kriya yoga.

That's what I definitely need to do but I "need" a backup plan so that if the fears come out to be true, how to live happily anyways if I don't have personal evidence that any lifestyle habit/modification can make you happy if you lack intimacy.

I have bad Pure-O OCD. Basically, I have a morbid fear that God/the universe will make every girl reject my attempts to kiss her, either because it wants me to be lonely/sad/miserable/for fun/sadism, so I'm terrified that if I actually start meeting women and go for the kiss, and get just rejections, I'll start believing it's actually true and that I'm destined to be alone. Also, I can't start new habits because almost every month day year combination has a number that I fear is permanent bad luck (4 and 9 (Asia) and 13), and what makes it bad luck is either God/the universe or many people believing it which I fear can give it negative energy. I have no evidence for or against any of this so I have no idea how to solve it. I'll do basically anything to get rid of this. I don't think they're delusions because I don't believe in them 100%; I'm just afraid of the possibility that they're true. I've tried the Art of Living's meditation and breathing techniques and didn't feel anything. I desperately need something that will actually work.

This is all freaking me out like crazy. I can't focus on anything. I wish I would've never seen that video.

Leo pretty much said that in his last video. It's freaking me out because I don't want to feel insane pain and suffering an infinite amount of times.