LiWay

I am back after a long absence from posting in my journal. I have been going through a lot and now is the time to get things together. This summer I have been dealing with severe anxiety, depression, and grief. I feel worse than I have in a long time. I am getting help but I know that it's going to take time for things to start feeling better again. I know what I am capable of and I am still going to find a way to live my best life. At my best, I am a positive person who is focused and happy and spreads lots of love. When I am going through a rough time, I feel like a shadow of myself. It has been crippling, suffocating, and extremely unpleasant. I can go on and on discussing every last detail and things that I have experienced but that is not important right now. The important thing is to get better, and make positive changes in my life. I don't know what else to do except to keep on keeping on. So that is what I am going to do.

Dear Journal, Today marks new beginnings in life. I have successfully completed another challenging semester of nursing school. Spring 2019 has had its ups and downs, but still I rise. I have emerged victorious despite all of the hurdles that I have had to overcome. There is nothing standing in my way and I am going to reach my goal by any means. Life is too short, too precious, and I am going to do whatever it takes to become the best version of myself that I can possibly be. In my 21 years of living, I have learned a whole lot about hard work, resilience, dedication, determination, and attitude, to name a few. To think that I set goals, achieved them, and am still working towards building a better future is unthinkable. Knowing what I know now, there is no excuse for me to not give my best effort at all times. In this life, the only person stopping you is you. I am so elated, honored, and grateful that I am able to go out and do what I love every day. I feel like I am already doing the impossible. I am already living my dreams. I have already conquered the pressing issues of my adolescence. Sky is the limit. I love myself and all I want to do is share this energy I have with my friends and family. Life is amazing, it is what it should be. But only if you make it that way.

I am finally back after a brief hiatus. I have experienced so much during this semester it is almost unbelievable. The people who I've shared moments with, the lessons that I've learned, and the daily hurdles that I had to overcome. Life is crazy, and I'm just happy to be here. I'm going to continue doing the best I can no matter what anyone else tries to say or do to me. Finals week is approaching. My plan is to knock these exams out of the park, secure my final grades, and look forward to a productive summer. I am so happy and I love myself. Life is not easy, but as long as you stay mindful and do right by others, you can't go wrong. Let's keep winning! -Li

I haven't posted in a while. I am happy, and life is good. I want to do better in my classes. I am taking 5 courses, 17 credits, and I believe that I can get straight A's. That would really help my GPA. I'm going to do the best I can. I take life one day at a time. I do my best to be mindful and present. I find myself looking at the bigger picture and letting go of old beliefs that no longer serve me. I am very open-minded. I am receptive to ideas that on the surface can seem outrageous or shocking. I believe that there are forces at work which the privileged people do not want us to know about. I am searching for answers. Not the meaning of life. I already have an opinion on that matter. I think that the meaning of life is to make the most out of whatever you are given. I understand that we all must die one day. That doesn't bother me anymore. I think that one day after building a legacy, living in harmony with family and friends, and leaving an impact on the earth, you can never go wrong. I am just trying to find my way. I have a long way to go and there is so much I want to accomplish however we must never lose sight of the fact that tomorrow is never promised. These are the ideas that are flowing through my mind lately. I believe that we are spiritual beings. The highest form of animals on the planet. However, that does not mean that we are superior to, or entitled to a better existence than other creatures. I just can't wait to see where life takes me. Love one, Bless.

Wow. I've been absent for a while. Life has kept me busy and I wouldn't have it any other way. Something came to me this morning, and I remembered that I hadn't written a journal entry in days. Hopefully this will help keep me on track. I'm doing well, staying on top of my academics, socializing, getting in shape, feeling good. Self-esteem is high. I'm planning towards the future. I'm staying open to new possibilities and mindful. I am taking responsibility for whatever happens. I have a lot of things I need to take care of. I am balancing my coursework, gym time, jiu-jitsu, work, eating, socializing, and recreational time as well. Still, there are 24 hours in a day. We all have time. I am just trying to make the most of it. I'm trying to improve the quality of my sleep. I got some blackout curtains. My room is starting to feel like a dungeon. When I turn on my cool mist essential oil diffuser on the rainbow light setting, and I inhale the scent of Ylang Ylang, I feel a creative genius blossoming within. I am really trying to live each day like it's my last. Not to do anything stupid though. The motto is still safety first. However, I'm just trying to not take my time on Earth for granted. Cheers to more life. Let's keep living.

I can do all things. There are no limits. Only the ones you place upon yourself. This is how I am feeling lately. I am living life to the fullest, making the most out of each day, and enjoying each moment. I am staying on top of my duties and still making enough time for recreation. I am happy but today I am a bit anxious. I always get like this during exams. I have two big exams today which I have studied for, but until the grades roll in I won't know how well I am doing. I am going to do my best and I am aiming for 90s or better. I am confident and I believe that I deserve and will earn a score that reflects my level of understanding. Besides that, today is a normal day, I'm going to continue doing what I've been doing. I have a great morning routine, I stay busy during the day, and I am able to wind down at night. Everything is going well, now it's time to put it all to the test.

I'm happy and I'm doing good for myself. I have a couple exams tomorrow and I've been studying. I'm typically a good student so I am going to put in as much work as I can tonight, and we will see how it goes. Besides that, I had a good weekend. I'm happy with my friends, my family, and my personal life. I'm just going to keep doing the best I can. It's cold over here in New York. I can't wait until the weather starts getting nicer. Spring 2019 here we come.

I'm doing good for myself. My mindset is on point. I am open to trying new things, meeting new people, and having a good time. Life can be stressful but you have to be able to laugh and have fun. I have a couple exams coming up next week. I am going to put in the level of effort required to do well, and there's nothing stopping me. I am on the quest for excellence. Life is all about cycles. Right now, I'm reaching the end of college and I am going to finish strong. I am navigating the world and I am learning things about myself and others and even making plenty of mistakes along the way. I am perfectly okay with that. I'm not afraid to fail anymore. Everything happens for a reason. There is always a window of opportunity in any adverse situation. You just have to learn to train your mind. We are on the cusp of greatness. I want to see my friends and family doing well. There is enough love and success in the world for all of us, you just have to find it. I'm happy, I have a lot of work to do, but I'm taking it one step at a time. I would rather be the square today, to be around tomorrow. And that's just how I'm feeling right now.

Life is what you make it. Rise above the hate. Silence the negativity. You only live once. Seize the day. This type of thinking is what has been running through my mind the past few weeks. We got the ball rolling for 2019 and we are off to a good start. I'm doing everything I need to do and life is pretty good. There are ups and downs but we are going to make it. Lately I am finding the balance between everything I need to do in my life, and I am taking it one step at a time. I have been consistent so far when it comes to my classes, studying, socializing, eating better, lifting, jiu-jitsu, and journaling to name a few. We all have the same amount of time. 24 hours. What are you going to do with it? I'm setting appointments with my professors, handling business, going to work in the hospitals, and still making time for extracurricular activities. I'm doing well so far and enjoying my life. Heading into week 4, I have a few exams coming up. This is really going to determine how well I'm doing as a student this semester. My goal is to get 5 A's in my courses this semester, and that is still very much attainable. I have a good GPA and I will accept nothing less than a B under any circumstances. Anyways, just wanted to check in. My mindset is good. I'm happy. I'm productive. I'm getting one step closer to the dream every day. Really can't complain.

There will always be obstacles. Just when you think things are going well, something will be standing in your way. I'm enjoying my life this semester, I'm doing good for myself. However this past week it appears that I have come down with an illness. It started on Thursday evening with a sore throat, congestion, and general malaise. Now it is Monday and I have the same symptoms on and off. I don't feel my best physically but I know that I will get through it. I am choosing to not take any medicine to mask the symptoms but rather try to beat it using fasting, herbs, fluids, and positive thinking. I don't feel great right now but I still have a job to do. I'm gonna handle my business at school, work, friends, family, etc. Just a reminder that you never know what to expect sometimes. You can't get too high or too low. Enjoy the process, no matter what.

My life is a constant work in progress. It does not matter who you are, nobody is perfect. You should always strive to be the best at what you do. I used to have a fixed mindset, but after reading Mindset by Carol Dweck, I started to recognize my attitudes and behaviors and I am beginning to live life with a growth mindset. Now I believe that everyone has the potential to practice skills and improve. Sure, some people have a natural predisposition or talent towards certain activities. However, all is fair in love and war. Stop complaining! Stop making excuses! Stop comparing yourself to other people! All you can do is be the best you can be! That's how I'm feeling lately. I'm on a mission and I am determined and I am going to take things one day at a time. I have been through things and we all have but that is neither here nor there. It does not serve you to live in the past. Take what you learned, use it, and DO BETTER. My heart goes out to the people struggling with anxiety and depression, lacking motivation, not knowing what to do with their life. I believe that we all have tremendous potential. The mind is more powerful that you will ever know. The physical body that you live in and your mind and soul is truly priceless. You have to love and value yourself. Make the most out of your life on Earth. You have to give it your own meaning. From now on, I put my faith in the universe that I will experience what I need to grow, and that I will get everything I deserve. I will handle anything that comes my way. You reap what you sow.

Life is amazing, it is what it should be. Every day I wake up and I set my goals and I bang them out one step at a time. I'm staying busy, staying social, staying active. I have a lot of things that I want to accomplish and I'm absolutely going to. Everything in life is a skill that can be learned. I used to believe that I was born a certain way or that my behaviors were fixed. We have the potential to change. I'm going to do everything in my power to become an influential man. A strong man, a leader, a positive role model for others. For all we know, there's only one life on Earth, and I'll be damned if I don't make the most of it. I'm going to do whatever it takes, even if it's late nights, early mornings, sacrifices, pain, sweat, suffering. I don't care anymore. I need the struggle to grow. When you see what's on the other side of fear, you won't have any regrets. I believe that the world can either be heaven or hell. It depends where your mind is at. All I know is this; Keep a positive mental attitude. Set goals and achieve them. Build harmonious relationships. Keep your mind, body, and spirit healthy. Find fulfilling work. Avoid drug and alcohol addiction. These are simple things, really not asking for much. You just have to build these habits until they become part of your personality. I got a lot going for me and I feel like my stock is rising. Somebody call Khaled and tell him my price went up. We taking no prisoners out here. I'mma ride for my respect. I'mma get what I'm worth. Life is too short. Life is TOO damn short. What are you going to do with your life? Make a plan, and TAKE ACTION. You can still be who you want to be. If you truly want to be great, don't listen to ANYBODY! Do what YOU think is right!!!

Gratitude has been doing wonders for my mental state. Life feels so worth living when you are grateful for everything you have. Learn to appreciate the small things. When I wake up, and when I go to sleep, I lay there and speak to the powers that be and I say, "Thank you for letting me live another day on this earth." I don't know if there is such thing as God or other Spiritual Forces at work, but I think that having an open mind is a healthy approach. I have never been atheist but rather agnostic because I believe that there's really no way of knowing. What I do know is that people do inexplicable things every day. Sometimes we just can't explain what happens on Earth. So whether or not there is a higher power above somewhere, I believe that it is helpful to have faith in something bigger than yourself. If you view your life as unimportant, or that you are only a human organism, you may be missing out. I think it is important to believe that we are spiritual beings that are here for a higher purpose and that we can all become self-actualized through our life's work, relationships, and creative efforts. Nobody ever said life was going to be easy. However, I wouldn't say that I've had a hard life, despite everything I've been through. It's just different. We don't have to feel sorry for ourselves anymore. Whatever happens, we will handle it. You've already made it this far and you can go much further. I'm happy, I'm learning how to overcome the negative thoughts, I'm using my mind power, I'm building harmonious relationships, and I have love for myself which projects itself outwards. We are supposed to be confident. We are supposed to be social. This is the natural state of human beings. We don't have to live in fear anymore. We can do anything we set our mind to (with limits of course). Look at those people who started from the bottom and are billionaires. Who grew up in the projects and are now international celebrities? Who overcame all odds as a child and became an influential adult. What's stopping you? Are you really willing to say that your life is harder than someone who slept with roaches? Went hungry for days at a time? Surrounded by drugs and violence? Why don't you realize your potential? I know I will. There's no excuse not to. BE EXTRAORDINARY!!!

"My intuition is telling me there will be better days." I have so much love for myself and faith that everything will work out. Of course, we all have our days where we feel stressed out and tired and that's okay. What matters is the overall trend and being consistent. Sometimes I become so overwhelmed by joy and hope that I don't know what to do with myself. Lately I've been dreaming. What is my purpose? What can I do to make my life meaningful? How can I make the most out of my life on Earth? There's a lot of things I want to do in my life, aside from the professional aspect of nursing. I want to explore my own creativity, excel in fitness, build harmonious relationships, etc. I am going to take care of these things naturally. However the main concern is what is my calling in regards to nursing specifically. I used to think that maybe I should be a cardiac nurse. A travel nurse. Emergency nurse. Whatever the case may be. I have come to conclusions during nursing school and although I understand the importance of chronic health care and pharmaceuticals, it is really not my main interest. I have decided that my calling is in Acute Care while I am young, to take care of those desperately in immediate need. However as I get older and I have built my clinical skills, my knowledge base, and my professionalism, I want to take things a completely different direction. I think that the big goal to shoot for is to get my DNP (Doctor of Nursing Practice). It really doesn't get much better than that. That's when you are an expert and a master at what you do. However learning where to specialize is a big decision. I believe that my calling is in public/community health, and holistic/alternative medicine. Only time will tell. I'm going to do what I have to do and I am just so happy that I have the opportunity and the drive within to be planning my future so far ahead. I am happy and I wish that everyone could live in harmony. I wish that everyone found their own outlets. I wish that people didn't turn to drugs/alcohol/sex/gambling/etc. This is the world we live in. It is what it is. However, I'm going to do the best that I can to make a difference in any way possible. I accept this responsibility fully. This is my mission. I will succeed.

Oh man, life is good. We all have hard times and daily struggles. Sometimes we don't eat right, we don't sleep well, we don't take enough time for ourselves because all we can focus on is everything that we need to do. But you know what keeps me going? It's the music. The feelings. The friends. The family. The pain. The challenges. I wouldn't trade the adversity I have faced and will continue to endure for anything. It's not supposed to be easy! Why do people look at hard times as a bad thing? You should treat this as fertile soil to grow strong roots. You will be amazing. You will emerge victorious. You are a winner. Stop counting yourself out. We are all capable of achieving tremendous things. I'm a little tired right now. I'm coming off a night shift 7p-7am at the hospital and I only got about 4 hours of sleep. I don't usually pull all-nighters but in this moment that is what is required of me. There's going to be a lot of things that I must deal with that are not the most pleasant, but I chose this. I am a nurse. I will continue to give of myself for the rest of my life so that other people can live better. Because you see, the true joy in life does not come from living only for yourself. It is only once you believe that you have a higher purpose and you dedicate yourself that you can begin to feel truly fulfilled. At the end of the day, all we have is the moments. You either live in the present, or you hold on to your fondest memories for dear life. Nobody really knows what the future holds. We make all sorts of assumptions and predictions however, we are frequently proved wrong. My new attitude is accepting the fact that we as human beings know a whole lot, but at the same time, we really don't know anything. Enjoy your life, live it to the fullest. You have a responsibility to yourself and those around you to be the best you can be. What's stopping you? Be humble.