Paul92

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Posts posted by Paul92

  2. Posted

    @Shin You are free to mock me all you want. I won't judge you for that. I just thought to enlightened, you never judge or make fun of anyone, no matter what. That is your ego. Your 'devil' brain, if you will. 

     

    @TheAvatarState

    Why would I want commit suicide after reading the PON? Because nothing is real. Everything is an illusion. There is no point to anything. Everything is a construct. You can just say accept it, and fighting it is your ego, but I think, rather selfishly, Id rather feel a painful death than feel nothing.

    @pointessa

    Well, my relationships are in tatters now regardless. I haven't spoken to anyone for days. Sure, people are sending me messages. But they're not real are they? So why engage with something that is false? Or why engage with an illusion... isn't that just madness?

    Why create a role? Seriously!! Why do anything?! Isn't creating a role just your ego? You are giving yourself a false identity. You are not being you. I don't want to be possessed. Nor do I want to be a in world of fiction, surrounded by these human bodies that are possessed. 

  3. Posted

    @Odysseus I'm sorry but I can't make any sense of what you're saying. 

    I didn't just watch YouTube, either. 

    When you say my loved ones are me, I don't understand. I thought I was my life and my mind. But I am not, am I? How can we be one organism?

    You have Odysseus as your username. I am assuming you are interested in and study Greek mythology. But why do you do this? Aren't you chasing knowledge here? Why do you consume information? Ultimately, there is no point to it. In comsuming information, to retain knowledge, you are being egoic. In the basic fact that you have Odysseus as your username, you are projecting an image of yourself. That is egoic. I swear to you I am not saying this to be a 'troll', I'm very serious. I've honestly never understood trolling. 

    People talk about the middle road. Like Leo in his video. But that isn't enlightenment, is it? Again, it is cherry picking! 

    My 'loved ones' think they love 'me'. I thought I 'loved' 'them'. But you cannot love anything, if everything is an illusion. Sorry for being in a state of anxiousness following this realisation. 

  5. Posted

    @Amun There is no way back though. My old life is an illusion. Every time I woke up last night, I felt sick. Nothing is real. 

     

    @Serotoninluv  I don't think it is evil. I think it is what it is. Ultimately, it is the truth. What/who is my true self? As I understand it, it is my body but with a mind that produces no thoughts. None. Akin to a vegetable if you like. With only 2 primary inbuilt desires. 1, to eat. 2, to procreate. No opinions on anything, no labels for anything, no emotions, nothing. 

    I might identify with these thoughts, but aren't they the truth? In the same way that you believe you understand the truth. But then again, they are thoughts, so they aren't you, are they? For all of us to be our true selves, we wouldn't be writing on here. So nobody can claim to be at one with their true selves. 

    If I'm to meditate and label a thought as a 'thought', isn't that 1, thinking, and 2, labelling something?

     

    @pointessa  I know that movies are not real. But we are entertained by them. But now it is more than they are not real. If I watch an actor in a movie, I just think, he is not real. He is an illusion. He is ruled by thoughts, which are not him, so it isn't real. 

    I went to Disneyland when I was a child. I loved it. Same as I loved all sorts of things. Going to football matches, watching football, playing guitar, socialising with friends, listening to music. Christmas has just gone, and it was so nice to get just sit back and enjoy the ambient lighting, a few drinks with loved ones and do whatever we liked for a change. But it was all an illusion.

    That warm feeling I got on Christmas day will never return. I'm not and never have been that interested in presents by the way. I'm not materialistic. I'm especially not now. But also, the warm feeling I got when I got a text message from a girl I thought I loved. The warm feeling when I would spend time with my parents after not seeing them for a while. I will never experience that again, will I? Because I know now it is not real and not me. So even if it comes along, I will recognise it, and label it as fake. 

     

    They say that ignorance is bliss. And I think I agree. Everyone else in the world is living in a fantasy land. But you know what, it works for them, doesn't it? They have a life. Ups and downs. Some strive for perfection, others don't. They have families. They live, laugh, love, lose and cry. They enjoy things. They hate things. The experience the world. They experience their thoughts, their own very chemistry. I'd love to go back to that world. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't real, but I didn't know that. But now I can't whether I like it or not.

    I watched Leo's video that is posted above. He says this might not be the time for pursuing enlightenment. But what he doesn't appreciate that, once you have glimsed the truth, there is no going back, ever. And if you are not in a position to pursue it fully, which is to become a thoughtless being content with being fed, which is the ultimate state, then you will never get there. You are left in limbo, which is the worst position ever. One route out for me. 

  6. Posted

    4 minutes ago, Shin said:

     

    The thing you don't understand yet, is that it is real.

    As long as you experience something it is real.

    Their suffering is real for them, and not for their ego, because the ego is an illusion, a misconception in our mind.

    If you actually do this, you are actually becoming the evil you point outwards you.

    Reread what you wrote, this is purely egotic.

     

     

    I just don't understand how this can be. Why am I evil if I throw myself from a bridge this afternoon? Because sat here right now, I don't see anything stopping me whatsoever. Because it does not matter one bit. 

    Why is their suffering real? To suffer, which is an emotion, which is born out of a thought, is to think. And thinking, ultimately, is an illusion. Therefore, their suffering is not real, is it? They could turn that emotion of instantly, and be who they really are. Which is a living and breathing entity, but with no thoughts.

    I got into all this stuff because I wanted to just be a better person. Self-improvement. Perhaps learn to judge others less, which I never thought I did anyway. I never thought of myself as an egotistical person, in the traditional sense. I've never strived to be something I'm not. I thought I knew who I was, the good and the bad and I accepted them. But this is all an illusion.

    I do feel like people cherry pick everything. If you are to be enlightened as you think you are, nothing matters. There is nothing. Everything is an illusion. You think you are posting on this forum, but you are not. 

    I just went to make some noodles to eat (I have zero appetite at the moment). I thought I will eat this and then I will take a shower. But that is thinking. That is not me, is it? Tolle says it in black and white on his website, "you are not your mind". 

    I thought I should go see my mother, she will be missing me. She's devoted her life to me. But she isn't real, is she? Be honest here. She isn't! She's ruled by her mind, which isn't her. She doesn't really love me. Her real 'self' wouldn't even recognise me. What sort of world is this? You will just say accept it. Well, I think I might as well accept that death is inevitable one day, it won't matter, so why not now?

  7. Posted

    How can anyone experience joy, wonder and elevated curiosity even following a realisation? To experience these things, you have to think, surely? These things have to be illusions. So we are continuing to live an illusion, aren't we? You know it makes sense.

    For instance, you might say that you reconnect with nature and that you find it so beautiful. But who says nature is beautiful? Why do with think this? That is a thought, which means it isn't real, surely?

    What breaks my heart is knowing that my friends have never been what I thought. They are illusions. It sounds ridiculous, but I think of the girl that I thought I loved, and I just want her to hold me and tell me everything is okay. But she isn't real. She's a figment of my imagination. 

    How can anyone not be destroyed by this? If this isn't evil, what is? 

  8. Posted

    @whatishappeningtome He says at 11:33 that if you someone struggling to pay your mortgage, with a wife and kids and no job, spiritual enlightenment isn't something to be worrying about right now. Why? Isn't that whole situation an illusion? If you walk away from it, kill yourself even, it won't matter, will it? Sure they will suffer, but their suffering is an illusion... and it more their problem than yours. People talk about enlightenment, but it is as if they cherry pick the bits they want to adhere to. If you take it as truth, and look at it logically, you will find that really nothing actually matters.

  9. Posted

    @Arhattobe I swear to you I am not trying to be provocative. I'm absolutely not trolling. I am speaking from a place of serious anxiety at the moment. But if you really read and think about what I have said, the logic is there. It cannot be refuted. 

    A tiny tiny fighting part of me is basically wanting to find a way out of this. And to somehow get my old life back. I know this is my ego fighting the truth, which I should accept. Everywhere I go, I question everything. As I say, my friends are not real, they're illusions. The love I felt for people, it's not real. Nothing is real. It's disorientating to think that we are existing in nothing.

  10. Posted

    2 hours ago, Rilles said:

    To burst your little bubble of ”spirituality”

     

    Set a timer of 5 mins, only 5!

    Close your eyes

    Notice how many thoughts you have

    Can you stop them?

    Try to stop them!

    Is it working?

    Are you thinking about stopping your thoughts now?

    Open your eyes and try to recap how many thoughts you had

    Was your mind silent? Really? Honestly?

    Can the ”mind” be silenced? Who is silencing it? 

     

     

     

     

    You can't stop the thoughts. But it is understanding that no thoughts are real. Nothing then, is real. Every single thing you see, hear, feel, is an illusion.

  11. Posted

    3 minutes ago, Arhattobe said:

    Ideas that are not understood, without nuance, hijacked by your mind, perverted and watered down can have a negative impact on your perspective and clarity. Aim to understand. Don’t force understanding it will not work.

    Furthermore, non duality or being thoughtless doesn’t not mean you don’t care about anything anymore. That’s a load of bullshit. If someone murders tolles family he won’t just sit there and be like... “my wife was a concept... the power of now”. 

    I speak from experience. I am in a thoughtless non dual state, this has not made me unfeeling. Nor does it do that to anyone. 

    So relax. 

     

    You're not thoughtless, otherwise you wouldn't be able to write that reply, or indeed, have the opinion that what I am saying is wrong. Which is your ego. 

    With no thoughts you cannot feel anything. And thoughts are not you, are they?

    If someone murdered Tolle's family, I don't think it would bother him one bit, as committed as he is to this. He knows everything is an illusion and not real.

  12. Posted · Edited by Paul92

    Hi everyone,

    I've recently read the Power of Now and been watching numerous ET videos on YouTube. I have to say, I am now in a worse position that I have ever been in my entire life. To the point where I am seriously considering the prospect of suicide or admitting myself to a psychiatric hospital if I can. I just want to say a few things about ET first. I don't want to die, but I don't want to be thoughtless (which you will say is my ego).

    I am not anti Tolle as a person. I don't think he's someone who is doing it all for the money. I don't think he is trying to deceive people. I think he is genuine enough. But I also think what he says can be very, very dangerous.

    I started reading the PON as I thought it would be a book about how to be a better person. My dad had told me that it had helped him to stop ruminating so much about different things, something with which I've struggled with from time to time. Indeed, I used the approach from him explaining it to me a few times when I was in stressful situations and it helped calm me down. Out of curiosity, I thought I'd get stuck in to the read of what Tolle teaches.

    The dissolution of the ego. Or more plainly, the dissolution of the thinking part of our brains. People can say what they like here, about how Tolle words what he is teaching in his books. However, ultimately, what he is teaching is a form of nihilism. It really is. And what's more, he is right.

    Essentially, nothing matters. Suffering and pain aren't real emotions. That is what he is saying. If someone is done a perceived injustice (that we have socially constructed as an injustice), such as someone has physically harmed them, or their families, they have no reason to feel aggrieved or even have a negative emotion. If someone comes into my house now and chops my arms and legs off, Tolle would say accept it, live in the now and you won't suffer. If I suffer, it is my ego. Thinking logically, this is true. I would have a choice whether to suffer. What does it matter if I have arms or legs? Emotions are not real.

    Nothing is real. Everything is a thought, which isn't a thing. Our thoughts are conditioned because of hundreds of years worth of social constructs. Essentially, anything goes. We needn't feel bad for any behaviour, because whatever we do, essentially is neither right or wrong. There is no adjudicator.

    Even in the sense that you think you love someone. You don't. How mind blowing is that? I saw a video with Tolle (before he was with Kim), and he said that relationships should be avoided. They are social constructs, again. Love, as much as suffering and pain, isn't real. I thought I loved a girl. I would have jumped in front of a gun for her. But love isn't real. You don't love anyone. Because if you are in the now, which is your true self, you have no thoughts. To love something, you need to have thoughts. It cannot work. Therefore, love is based on a thought, that essentially is ego, which is not you. 

    Nothing matters. Everything is a construct. Tolle says he enjoys spending time in nature, which he sees as beautiful. But isn't the idea of nature being beautiful a social construct too? Who says it is? Why do we think anything is interesting or beautiful? That is a thought, which isn't you. 

    Why do you get out of bed and go to work? Why do you study? Why do you watch TV? Why do you socialise, when your friends are doubtlessly ran by their egos, which isn't them? As such, your friends are illusions. They are not real. Nothing is real, everything is an illusion. This is EXACTLY what Tolle is getting at but he might not have worded it as such. 

    Yes, I could live in the 'now'. But how do I function if I have no thoughts? I would urinate and defecate in this exact spot which I am laid. How do I chose what to eat with no thoughts?

    Tolle's answer for everything is to be in the now. The now cannot be bettered. Nothing compares to the bliss of the now, because if you are not thinking. Of course the now will be a type of bliss, as there are no thoughts. I saw him on Oprah's show on YouTube and they was talking about people grieving. He didn't word it as such, but what he was saying was people are grieving over nothing and they choose to suffering. Do not grieve over your loved ones when they pass, because they, for one thing, they are illusions, two you cannot love them, and three there's nothing you can do to bring them back. It makes absolute sense.

    So cutting to the chase, why am I here when I could accept the now and none of this would matter? I should be content with just existing.

    Because I can't yet cease thinking entirely. And more specifically, I don't know if I want to (you will say, ah this is your ego). So I can't win. I am in a state of perpetual suffering as a result. Trying to achieve something that ultimately, you can't and trying to avoid going back to a world of illusions that I now find incredibly scary. My friends are not real, the love I feel for people is not real, everything is an illusion. And I know every single one of you Tolle fans on here know that I am speaking the truth. Tolle cannot write it like this in his books, as it would never be published. 

    My world has come crashing down. I LOVED my life. I was content. I FELT things. Happiness, sadness, euphoria, excitement, nervousness, heartache. But these emotions are just illusions, mere thoughts that aren't real. I now have no desire to anything. See friends? No, they're illusions. See family? No, they're illusions. Go to work? No what's the point, it's an illusion and creates a false identity.

    If you are a Tolle follower, why do you do anything?

    The last vestiges of my thinking mind realise that I have two basic functions. To survive and to procreate. These are biologically preprogrammed. These are the only things that are 'real' to me. So, while I want to die (this is a genuine thought, as nothing matters. Indeed, having spoken to a number of enlightened folk online over the past few days, they have agreed that it doesn't matter if I live or die. If I want to die, then die. My family and friends will suffer, but as we know, that suffering isn't really who they are. The real 'them' would not care, as those emotions are born out of the ego). 

    What do I do? I am stuck. I anticipate many of you will just say accept and submit to the now. 

    My point is, I don't see how this truth (it is the truth, you can deny it as much as you like, but this absolutely what Tolle and others with similar messages are getting at in a round about way). can lead anyone to a state of happiness of euphoria, as these aren't real either. Ulimately, a tiny bit of my disgusting egoic brain tells me that perhaps it is better to leave people in their unconscious lives of ignorance. It is all an illusion, sure. But they don't know that. It's that or nothingness. How can't this truth, ultimately, lead to people just dying? And again, what would that matter? It wouldn't.