Paul92

Interesting quote. The free will debate is something that terrifies me. Logically, I'd say that free will is an illusion. But I can't be certain. How do I know? However, I do think we are quite obvious a product of our brains, that basically create the illusion of us being in control. If that is true, I find it very upsetting.

I want to just understand whether we have control over our own destinies. Whether people are real, in sense of that they unique autonomous beings. I really don't want anything else from life. Life is wonderful otherwise. Like this afternoon, laying snoozing watching the football scores come in. Cup of tea and a sandwich. I'm simple enough haha.

@Nahm What should my question be? You say I chose to make this post? Did I, really? For one, apparently I don't exist. In the sense of there is no Paul pulling his own strings. Did I really have a choice?

When you feel like you love someone more than life itself? I feel like I am falling for a friend, stronger than I've ever felt for anyone ever. I don't know how it even came about. But I know what love feels like, and this is another level.

@Nahm Thank you for your post. You know I always value your contributions. Unfortunately, I'm struggling a little to understand what you mean. Please forgive me. I hope I am the choser of what I have chose and what I have chosen.

@winterknight Nobody is born with a natural instinct to find the 'truth'. The 'truth' is a human construct. The path is supposed to reduce inner conflict. Look at this forum. It's ludicrous. Thousands upon thousands of posts. Thousands upon thousands of questions. Thousands upon thousands of different answers. People here are tied up inner conflict. What also annoys me is how people manipulate a few words of Jesus to fit their own narrative. You might be able to use a few passages of the bible to fit with nondualism, but what about the rest of it that doesn't teach that at all.

@Leo Gura You believe it's an Absolute. Can it be proven beyond all doubt?

@winterknight Why shouldn't an ordinary life be pleasurable? My life is lovely when my mind isn't caught up in trying to figure out what is real. I can go for a walk in the sun and spend hours just sitting watching dogs jump in and out of a lake. Seems to that striving for anything greater will just lead to delusions of granduer. The spiritual ego, perhaps. What's wrong with being a humble human, worts n'all? It seems to that 'the path' is just a construct to try and avoid realities of life. Why do humans feel the need to feel like they are the ones with answers to everything and the universe is all about us. See our guru, Leo, doesn't care about people. I was led to believe that spirituality was always about learning to be more compassionate. To be able to swallow your own silliness and pride and care for others. Not to become aloof to everything and simply not care.

@Leo Gura And you have adopted the belief of oneness.

Having a really rough few days. Starting to feel like I did a few months ago. Where do thoughts come from? You can't think a thoughyt before you have thought it.. Perhaps I and others don't exist (the hardest thing to accept). Are my loved ones just products of random brain activity? Are they pulling the strings. Sadhguru says we are in control. Everyone here says we are not. What to believe, what not to believe. Just feel like I want to roll over and sleep again. Not felt like this for a long time.

@assx95 It's an interesting one. How often do you see her these days? How often is rarely? I'll be absolutely honest with you with what I think. It sounds to me that she really just doesn't see you as anything more than friends. I've had numerous similar experiences. You could give it up. Depends how much you like this girl. Follow your heart, not your head. If you gave up, sure it will hurt at first. But it will get better. You'll probably meet someone else, as absurd as that might seem at this moment. But when you do, you'll probably be left thinking, "did I have to go through all that to get to this?". Or you could change tactic, because this clearly isn't working. Go back to being her friend. Make it so she feels comfortable being around you and actually wants to hang out with you. Tell her you like her as a friend. Just make her feel comfortable and at ease. But pretend you aren't interested in anything more. See what happens then. Wish you all the best. Nothing worse than loving someone more than the earth itself and the feeling not being reciprocated. But just carry on loving regardless.

Not if it going to fry her head emotionally. Try not to just pick up and drop people for your own pleasure. If she's game for a bit of fun, nothing more, then why not. Who cares.

@Beginner Mind In my opinion, yes, it really would. Sure, for a lot of beings, things would work out fine. And that is wonderful. Even today, there are thousands - millions even - that have wonderful lives. Rich and poor. And that is wonderful. Equally, there are millions that suffer greatly. And I would feel much better about my own existence if I felt that I could contribute a little to their wellbeing. I'd feeling much better knowing I'd played my part. I want to help people. I don't want anyone to suffer. I'm just a bit of an old romantic, I think. Not just in terms of relationships, either. It's not an egoic thing. I don't care if people recognise me for what I achieve or do. I am happy being nobody. Life can throw whatever it wants at me, that is fine. Just know that I will remain happy so long as everything that in response to everything that gets put to me, my response is in my hands. We make our lives whatever we want it to be. I love an underdog. Battling against the odds. Anyone can achieve anything. Anyone can find love, no matter your race or background etc. The world is everyone's oyster. That is the world I want to live in. I'm from a poor family. I live in one of the poorest villages in the UK, an old mining community. Every single month I am in my overdraft, just buying food! And I work long hours. But all I need is my nearest and dearest. They keep me going. My family, my friends. Other people. Making this reality, whatever it is, their own. I couldn't care less about anything else. I don't take anything too seriously. But without individuality and uniqueness, everything loses its colour.

A video I feel I really needed to watch today. I came home from work feeling pretty terrible. My best friend is away on holiday at the moment, and I miss her dearly. Then I started wondering, is she real? Or the product of random brain activity? My friend, my wonderful friend, does she exist? I hope so. I hope more than anything that what he says is true. That we all make our own lives, should we act more consciously. I don't want to be God. I don't want to be anyone special, I never have. I'm just me, and that was always enough. Everyone I ever came across was enough, just as they are.

I think I'm here. I hope everyone else is too. It freaks me out too buddy.