Paul92

@Robi Steel So, if I am God, even I don't have free will or a choice. How can I will something into existence before it exists? Same with a thought, how can I think a thought before I have thought it? So who is controlling God?

@Robi Steel Solipsism. Again. Pretty fucked up really. Now if there is no me saying that, then it must be coming from God. I don't have a choice in what I say, right? Well, as God, I think this is a sick joke.

@Preetom Well, for a start, it wouldn't be me applying that degree of skepticism. I have zero control over this experience. People can get frustrated at me on this forum, but I'm not doing this. God is. So... might as well literally not care because it's all God just rubbing itself. Still, why do we have an urge to care.. hmmmmm

@winterknight Well, appreciate your response. However, in the human world, I don't see how much of it adds up. I'm sorry. I want to understand. Just don't think it is the answer at this point.

@Shaun Absolutely. Not hijacking this thread though, buddy. Just increasingly convinced this enlightenment isn't the answer. But, willing to try the practices..

Who watches the watcher. And who watches the watcher's watcher.

@winterknight Exactly. To whom is it occurring. And you'll tell me that it isn't me. It isn't Paul. There is no Paul. There is no Shaun. There is no Buba. I don't have parents. You don't exist. My friends don't exist as real entities. It's all just God consciousness playing with itself. So how does therapy help at all? Therapy is designed to help people handle and process their emotions, particularly those which are suppressed. But they're not even my emotions, as I don't exist. It seems like such a huge paradox. On one hand, suffering goes away when you can accept that you don't exist and everything is 'as is'. But you're saying we needn't face this alone, and we need therapy to process and understand our emotions, which are probably all purely egoic and illusionary. Ultimately, it isn't my choice to pursue therapy/enlightenment or anything. Everything that happens is preordained. It's God playing with itself. Or life is a dream. Or a memory etc. Whatever interpretation we want to put forth on any given day. It's frustrating because everyone here is thinking that they have a choice in what they do next, which is egoic in itself. There is no you or me, just God that is experiencing itself. Paul isn't typing this, apparently. Or is he... I've asked a thousand million times on this forum how I might have misinterpreted nonduality and I just get word salad. Everyone says how it makes you more compassionate and loving when you reach and nondual state... you can't make yourself do anything... everything that happens, postivie and negative just happens. If I think another person is another person and is a knob, then I didn't think that.. God did! @Shaun @Buba Appreciate you looking out for me above. Wish you both the best and would always love to help in return (if Paul can, of course, as he doesn't exist...)

@Preetom Nope, not really. Becoming increasingly convinced that nonduality is not the answer the more I go down the rabbit hole. Check this forum out. Nobody has a clue what they're talking about. It's full of paradoxes. Sure, I'm open to investigating it through the practices. But something is telling me that this just isn't the answer. It can't explain everything. . The OP made a very good point but it seems a lot are caught up in a spiritual ego and will just dismiss anything and everything.

@winterknight If we are not our thoughts, then where do they come from, and why do we have them? I appreciate you can't think a thought before you have thought it. However, could it not be that our mind is our soul, and we supposed to be able to think, and this really is the only way of being possible? How other way could it be? Maybe we ARE our thoughts, we have the ability to think a thought before we have thought it. I read your blog on desire and you say look beneath the hood of what you really think you want. That involves thinking. It seems paradoxical that we want to try to work towards a quiet mind (even though many here say we don't have free will and we don't exist etc), but yet to do that it involves a lot of thinking.

But there is no 'us', right? God is loving, and so are higher conscious human beings.. that seems like a duality. Also, are you saying lower conscious are not loving? You forget, if we have no free will and it is all God pulling the strings, then is just how it is... nothing is less or more loving. You speak like we have a choice between being deluded and not. A true nondualist would say there is no us to have any will over this experience we are having right now anyway. Which makes zero sense.

@Neorez yup. Same. Because no matter what they say, it's nihilistic.

@SQAAD Bingo. My thoughts entirely. Nonduality seems very shame based to me. The 'you' or 'ego' is very shameful. So we must shame it. Does shame cure shame? I'm not sure. If you weren't meant to have a sense of self, or a thinking mind, then you wouldn't. Simples.

@Mikael89 I'd be interested to know what you experienced buddy. Whether through PM or whatever. I have to say, at this point, I can't be entirely convinced that a lot of what it is said here is the Truth. Have you noticed there is never really a consensus? Trust your own experience I guess. Which ultimately, has to be your experience... who knows.

@Shaun And you know it for sure that nonduality is the truth that all religions are based on? You know this? In a universe of infinite possibilities, that is the one truth?

@Shaun You're going to go down a huge rabbit hole with some of these guys here with this. If you died tomorrow, everything would still carry on. There is more than just you. Don't worry about that. As for individuality, who knows anymore... my point is, why do we have a thinking mind if we aren't supposed to? And also, if we have zero control and God is pulling all the strings, then what is the point in playing with itself? Why create the ego etc... "to survive", people will say. Didn't think God needed to do anything to survive as it is absolute and infinite. If you look on YouTube, there are hundred of New Agers/Buddhists/Hindus etc that have converted to Christianity. Who knows.

Everyone talking here like LDR had a choice in the music she makes and what she thinks. If 'you' like it, 'you' just do. If 'you' don't, 'you' don't. Just how it is.

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this... Since I started to realise that perhaps not everything is what is seems (we are not the body, and probably don't exist etc) I've noticed that my sex drive has completely disappeared... Like, I still sort of find the form of a woman appealing... but not like I used to... I mean, we are not the body. It's just a bunch of particles, isn't it? What's attractive about a bunch of carbon particles and molecules? I went from having a ridiculous sex drive to next to nothing really.. I have no desire to make love to my 'Self'... just seems a bit weird. Anyone else experienced the same?

Okay, so, I've been trying to take some steps to get back on track. Any advice on the following would be hugely appreciated. I've started meditating as best as I can in a morning and at night. In a morning anything between 30-40 mins and same at night before bed. I've been trying to just follow my breathing, but I'm finding this very difficult. I can do a few inhales/exhales and then I'm thinking about something again. Is watching the breathe really the best method? Also, the whole thing about there being no 'you'. Like, there is no 'Paul' doing what I think I'm doing. I have zero control over anything and the thing to do is just lose attachment to what is happening and just watch it. This is something I find Mooji really tries to drill home. However, Im confused by it. Because he encourages people, in all situations, to remain quiet and observe. Isn't that a choice within itself? If we have zero control over anything, how do we make the choice to come here, offer advise to others, and encourage them to make changes? I appreciate there is no 'Paul' in my head pulling the strings. Whatever I am, doesn't have a name exactly. But do I have any say over anything? I was feeling better yesterday. I went into work, had a laugh with colleagues. I tried to stay present (is this a choice?) and felt slightly better about everything. I thought I'll just go with the flow and not get annoyed about anything. I'll accept whatever comes. So yeh, who is doing the accepting? To accept what is, is that a choice I can make? Or is it something else doing it? Thank you.

@Leo Gura can we just have a straight answer, please? I swear no disrespect... Just, please, share your experience.. I think a lot of people are willing to trust you..

@Leo Gura are we all really God and individuals? Yes or not answer, please.

@Salvijus I'll have to watch that later buddy, thanks. Busy at the moment. Out on a work's meal and I'm freaking out to be honest. I don't know what reality is. All I ever wanted to do, whatever I am, was love those around me and help people. Have fun. Be kind. And love others. Love love love. But I don't have free will. I don't exist. It's cruel. I have a sense of self that is not real. I had no problem with Paul, you know.. I've just paid for everyone's meals and a few drinks. I like giving. I just want to love.. But I don't know who I am. I want to have control over my experience. That's it, I want to control my experience and be. But I want to be me. I don't want to be superior to anyone. I want to help everyone. I want to see through evil and forgive people. I want to love but I also want to be loved. Is it a crime to want to be loved? They say that you must feel from your heart. Right now my heart is broken. I mean it. It's broken. I need help from you guys. Please help me. As many people as I can talk to the better.

@Serotoninluv haha that's the first time I've seen that. Pretty funny. I think this is getting too complicated for me today haha. The ego is God etc whaaaaat haha

@Serotoninluv I've seen you on about the cowbell before but genuinely got no idea what you are on about Is it an American thing? haha

@Nahm So it's not actually about forcing yourself to stay focused on every absolute moment, but rather just being involved in something to the point where you are actually lost in doing what you are doing and not pondering tomorrow's dinner?

@Nahm @Serotoninluv I think I could second the OP's concerns. Nahm, maybe you can relate to this as a guitar player, I find that when I try and gfocus on playing guitar, I can't actually play as well. I played a gig a couple of months ago and was trying to stay focused on the present moment at all times and I played shocking.. I find I play better when I just don't think?When I actually go on autopilot haha