Paul92

@Shin I'm assuming you consider yourself egoless, then? Surely though, for people to laugh, they have to identify with a thought or indeed, a thought pattern as to why something is funny. People find that meme funny, as it born out of what we generally find in society funny. Again another social construct. Why do we find that meme funny? And why did you THINK people would find it funny? Ultimately, you had to think to post that on here. Thinking is bad. If you are thinking, you are almost possessed. Because your thoughts are not real. People can say to me, oh your interpretation is so wrong. But they never actually explain why it is wrong. "Oh, you can't get rid of ego!" "I consider myself to be egoless". But isn't considering yourself to be egoless actually a new form of ego? The only way around it is to be thoughtless. You can only be thoughtless if you are dead.

@Cepzeu Well, thank you for your kindness. It is terrifying. I just don't see the point in anything. I feel completely and utterly numb. But apparently, feeling nothing is what it is like to be enlightened... To be myself, I need to stop all thoughts. Then how do I function without thoughts?

@Shin You are free to mock me all you want. I won't judge you for that. I just thought to enlightened, you never judge or make fun of anyone, no matter what. That is your ego. Your 'devil' brain, if you will. @TheAvatarState Why would I want commit suicide after reading the PON? Because nothing is real. Everything is an illusion. There is no point to anything. Everything is a construct. You can just say accept it, and fighting it is your ego, but I think, rather selfishly, Id rather feel a painful death than feel nothing. @pointessa Well, my relationships are in tatters now regardless. I haven't spoken to anyone for days. Sure, people are sending me messages. But they're not real are they? So why engage with something that is false? Or why engage with an illusion... isn't that just madness? Why create a role? Seriously!! Why do anything?! Isn't creating a role just your ego? You are giving yourself a false identity. You are not being you. I don't want to be possessed. Nor do I want to be a in world of fiction, surrounded by these human bodies that are possessed.

@Odysseus I'm sorry but I can't make any sense of what you're saying. I didn't just watch YouTube, either. When you say my loved ones are me, I don't understand. I thought I was my life and my mind. But I am not, am I? How can we be one organism? You have Odysseus as your username. I am assuming you are interested in and study Greek mythology. But why do you do this? Aren't you chasing knowledge here? Why do you consume information? Ultimately, there is no point to it. In comsuming information, to retain knowledge, you are being egoic. In the basic fact that you have Odysseus as your username, you are projecting an image of yourself. That is egoic. I swear to you I am not saying this to be a 'troll', I'm very serious. I've honestly never understood trolling. People talk about the middle road. Like Leo in his video. But that isn't enlightenment, is it? Again, it is cherry picking! My 'loved ones' think they love 'me'. I thought I 'loved' 'them'. But you cannot love anything, if everything is an illusion. Sorry for being in a state of anxiousness following this realisation.

@Shin I don't think I will. Call it what you want, and judge me (I didn't think judging was a part of being enlightened) if you like. But to me, that is the truth. I don't see how it can be any other way. Everything is an illusion and nothing matter. The only thing that is real is to be thoughtless. That is who you are.

@Amun There is no way back though. My old life is an illusion. Every time I woke up last night, I felt sick. Nothing is real. @Serotoninluv I don't think it is evil. I think it is what it is. Ultimately, it is the truth. What/who is my true self? As I understand it, it is my body but with a mind that produces no thoughts. None. Akin to a vegetable if you like. With only 2 primary inbuilt desires. 1, to eat. 2, to procreate. No opinions on anything, no labels for anything, no emotions, nothing. I might identify with these thoughts, but aren't they the truth? In the same way that you believe you understand the truth. But then again, they are thoughts, so they aren't you, are they? For all of us to be our true selves, we wouldn't be writing on here. So nobody can claim to be at one with their true selves. If I'm to meditate and label a thought as a 'thought', isn't that 1, thinking, and 2, labelling something? @pointessa I know that movies are not real. But we are entertained by them. But now it is more than they are not real. If I watch an actor in a movie, I just think, he is not real. He is an illusion. He is ruled by thoughts, which are not him, so it isn't real. I went to Disneyland when I was a child. I loved it. Same as I loved all sorts of things. Going to football matches, watching football, playing guitar, socialising with friends, listening to music. Christmas has just gone, and it was so nice to get just sit back and enjoy the ambient lighting, a few drinks with loved ones and do whatever we liked for a change. But it was all an illusion. That warm feeling I got on Christmas day will never return. I'm not and never have been that interested in presents by the way. I'm not materialistic. I'm especially not now. But also, the warm feeling I got when I got a text message from a girl I thought I loved. The warm feeling when I would spend time with my parents after not seeing them for a while. I will never experience that again, will I? Because I know now it is not real and not me. So even if it comes along, I will recognise it, and label it as fake. They say that ignorance is bliss. And I think I agree. Everyone else in the world is living in a fantasy land. But you know what, it works for them, doesn't it? They have a life. Ups and downs. Some strive for perfection, others don't. They have families. They live, laugh, love, lose and cry. They enjoy things. They hate things. The experience the world. They experience their thoughts, their own very chemistry. I'd love to go back to that world. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't real, but I didn't know that. But now I can't whether I like it or not. I watched Leo's video that is posted above. He says this might not be the time for pursuing enlightenment. But what he doesn't appreciate that, once you have glimsed the truth, there is no going back, ever. And if you are not in a position to pursue it fully, which is to become a thoughtless being content with being fed, which is the ultimate state, then you will never get there. You are left in limbo, which is the worst position ever. One route out for me.

I just don't understand how this can be. Why am I evil if I throw myself from a bridge this afternoon? Because sat here right now, I don't see anything stopping me whatsoever. Because it does not matter one bit. Why is their suffering real? To suffer, which is an emotion, which is born out of a thought, is to think. And thinking, ultimately, is an illusion. Therefore, their suffering is not real, is it? They could turn that emotion of instantly, and be who they really are. Which is a living and breathing entity, but with no thoughts. I got into all this stuff because I wanted to just be a better person. Self-improvement. Perhaps learn to judge others less, which I never thought I did anyway. I never thought of myself as an egotistical person, in the traditional sense. I've never strived to be something I'm not. I thought I knew who I was, the good and the bad and I accepted them. But this is all an illusion. I do feel like people cherry pick everything. If you are to be enlightened as you think you are, nothing matters. There is nothing. Everything is an illusion. You think you are posting on this forum, but you are not. I just went to make some noodles to eat (I have zero appetite at the moment). I thought I will eat this and then I will take a shower. But that is thinking. That is not me, is it? Tolle says it in black and white on his website, "you are not your mind". I thought I should go see my mother, she will be missing me. She's devoted her life to me. But she isn't real, is she? Be honest here. She isn't! She's ruled by her mind, which isn't her. She doesn't really love me. Her real 'self' wouldn't even recognise me. What sort of world is this? You will just say accept it. Well, I think I might as well accept that death is inevitable one day, it won't matter, so why not now?

How can anyone experience joy, wonder and elevated curiosity even following a realisation? To experience these things, you have to think, surely? These things have to be illusions. So we are continuing to live an illusion, aren't we? You know it makes sense. For instance, you might say that you reconnect with nature and that you find it so beautiful. But who says nature is beautiful? Why do with think this? That is a thought, which means it isn't real, surely? What breaks my heart is knowing that my friends have never been what I thought. They are illusions. It sounds ridiculous, but I think of the girl that I thought I loved, and I just want her to hold me and tell me everything is okay. But she isn't real. She's a figment of my imagination. How can anyone not be destroyed by this? If this isn't evil, what is?

@whatishappeningtome He says at 11:33 that if you someone struggling to pay your mortgage, with a wife and kids and no job, spiritual enlightenment isn't something to be worrying about right now. Why? Isn't that whole situation an illusion? If you walk away from it, kill yourself even, it won't matter, will it? Sure they will suffer, but their suffering is an illusion... and it more their problem than yours. People talk about enlightenment, but it is as if they cherry pick the bits they want to adhere to. If you take it as truth, and look at it logically, you will find that really nothing actually matters.

@Arhattobe I swear to you I am not trying to be provocative. I'm absolutely not trolling. I am speaking from a place of serious anxiety at the moment. But if you really read and think about what I have said, the logic is there. It cannot be refuted. A tiny tiny fighting part of me is basically wanting to find a way out of this. And to somehow get my old life back. I know this is my ego fighting the truth, which I should accept. Everywhere I go, I question everything. As I say, my friends are not real, they're illusions. The love I felt for people, it's not real. Nothing is real. It's disorientating to think that we are existing in nothing.

You can't stop the thoughts. But it is understanding that no thoughts are real. Nothing then, is real. Every single thing you see, hear, feel, is an illusion.

You're not thoughtless, otherwise you wouldn't be able to write that reply, or indeed, have the opinion that what I am saying is wrong. Which is your ego. With no thoughts you cannot feel anything. And thoughts are not you, are they? If someone murdered Tolle's family, I don't think it would bother him one bit, as committed as he is to this. He knows everything is an illusion and not real.