Pooya

Thanks for the responses and supports of all of you my friends. Sorry if I respond late because I'm busy preparing my new office. I have a bad habit of beating myself up for the mistakes I make. But I've always learnt the most valuable lessons in my life the hard way. The reason I shared my story is because I want you not to take the things you have for granted. Always be grateful. That's what enabled me to start again. My major mistake: Acting Emotionally and in haste. A grateful mind never does that. I'm working on it.

Guys... Only 2 weeks have passed and guess what happened. Now I have an office in a better part of the city. My new office is not as big but it is in a business district. I emailed special offers to my clients. Everything is perfect for now. Even better than before.

I posted this in this thread because my issue is mostly related to my career. Two years ago at the age 30 after quitting military to pursue my life purpose I tried everything but nevertheless failed. I was broke and embarrassed. I couldn't pay my debts. Everybody looked upon me as a failure. After spending all I had I returned to my parents' basement. Having to deal with two old parents which were ashamed of me was tough. Then I found about self actualization and self development. After a while of practicing the techniques I had learned, I started to work from home and gradually everything improved. I saved enough money and rented a little office in a remote area in which I also slept at nights. All the problems were lifting. Everything was great until...well I screwed everything up shortly after I was establishing myself , some kid gangs(probably 17 to 23) started to come to the neighborhood and started selling drugs. They would shout and scream and do crazy things like picking fights and motorbike racing. I called the police multiple times but the problem remained. One day I did a stupid thing: One day one of my old friends came to visit me and the noises of the gang started. He went out and after him I went out. then he beat one of them and the others flee. Everything was OK until... Later that night a client of mine came to my office to see his work which was being ready. Then suddenly the gang came and broke the window. They came with weapons and started shouting and threatening. I called the police and shortly after everything was back to normal. Except for two things. My client wanted his money back. He told me I'm not professional and he told that to my other clients too. My landlord is gonna evict me soon. I think I lost everything I had earned with hard work and effort. I'm screwed. I know that it was all my fault. I acted emotionally and sabotaged my efforts. I can't forgive myself. I nearly had it all but I ruined it. someone please tell me what to do as I can't think clearly. I can't concentrate on the unfinished assignments. I have nobody to talk to. I'm dealing with shame, humiliation and regret.