Fadious

I was in a similar boat as well. Had my very first kiss with a girl in my late twenties, and it was very awkward. But, we kept seeing each other for a few more dates. I could sense the intimacy growing and that I would have to setup a date where sex is possible. I also was anxious and panicky about it because of the lack of experience, so I started watching videos and educating myself on how to give her a great time. So when the moment arrived, I didn't tell her, and I executed what I learned successfully. Fast forward 6 months down the line, we're both in love. I decide to reveal to her that she was in fact my first. She thanked me for letting her know, however she was a bit disappointed that I didn't tell her, because she would have liked to try to make it "more special" and I basically robbed her the opportunity to do such a human loving thing. There were no hard feelings, she just wished she could have made it even more unique So please do yourself a favor, learn from my mistake. Tell her in the way Roy described, and be present every second of it. You don't get to have sex for the 1st time twice <3

@OBEler Don't have a link, but it was magnesium glycinate, vitamin C, and omega-3 fatty acids. I'm unfamiliar with the detox effects of ALA, but I assume that would occur only if you take it in higher doses only a daily basis?

So I am planning to use MDMA more frequently to do some serious shadow work since it's a phenomenal tool for that kind of therapy. There is a popular belief that MDMA should only be taken once every 3 months. However, there is no science to substantiate this arbitrary duration. I did my own research, and apparently PTSD patients enrolled into MDMA studies by MAPS received their doses once every 3-4 weeks. So under proper conditions and risk mitigation strategies this should be possible as well. After some digging I created my own risk reduction protocol to use for my trips. But I thought it might be useful to people here who would also like to use MDMA more frequently in a responsible way. For educational purposes only.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I also had a wonderful mystical experience on these seeds. I took them while doing a breathwork session, but even after two hours I didn't feel anything different than usual, so I decided to go to bed. While in bed I was contemplating the concept of "no self", without realizing that I was actually starting to peak.. I imagined that my entire life, from birth until this moment and far into the future is just a story, so I decided to drop it. As soon as I did that, my mind started rushing a flood of rapidly consecutive thoughts, from childhood memories, to what I ate yesterday, to my future career.. HOPING that I would latch onto any of those thoughts. But I never did. It was very easy to drop all interest in all thoughts because they all pertain to the story, my story. Soon after I experienced NO THOUGHTS.. Complete silence for the first time in my life! That brought about the most profound feeling of peace and serenity I have ever experienced, and I had amazingly soothing experiences with magic mushrooms before. It is impossible to feel any worry or angst if there's nothing or no one to worry about! Finally I understood what all those spiritual teachers mean with focus on the sense of "I am". Actually, in my experience it felt more like "This is". I was completely impersonal, pure awareness. Of course I am neither the body or the mind! I wasn't concerned with either the past or the future. So no wonder that what remains is the present moment. In that space of "selflessness" I felt no desire, just pure bliss in being. However I had the intuition that being in this "formless" state is not all there is.. There must have been a reason why I am the "selfish" ego as well. Surely the point is not to just sit there in bliss and do nothing??? As soon as that thought started bothering me, I tapped back into the "selfless/formless" and went back into the peace. The week after this experience I saw a video by Frank Yang where he talks about what to do after the realization of the no-self. He claims that by moving from form to formless and back several times, the gap between both states narrows down until they unite. In that place you are your ego self AND the formlessness at the same time. You are still active, but all your actions come from a place of love, authenticity and fearlessness without attachment to outcome.

I have difficulty expressing my negative emotions, especially anger. I fear that I will upset others, even if they did something that deserves a negative reaction from my side, my mind comes up with a million justifications for their bad behavior, and I suppress myself from expressing my emotional reaction in order not to make them feel hurt. Maybe I also fear that they will come back with an argument that shows that my reaction is unwarranted and unfounded. I don't know why this has been a theme throughout my life, I suspect it is rooted in my childhood and having a volatile angry and aggressive father (no physical violence though, he hit me three times in my life, but I've seen him hit my mom around six times throughout childhood) Why does this keep happening even in situations where the stakes are not high? How can I change this?

Check out these findings from false insights research: False insights can, and do, occur The “aha” experience is made up of suddenness, pleasure, and certainty Correct “aha” experiences have higher ratings of suddenness, pleasure, and certainty. When insights are correct, people tend to experience relief. But when they’re incorrect, people tend to feel surprised, leading to similar ratings that can be misconstrued as correct There is no research yet into how these false insights can lead to delusions in people who use psychedelics. But maybe it's good to keep in mind that just because you have a powerful experience from psilocybin, LSD, MDMA, or another psychedelic, that doesn’t mean your conclusions are always necessarily true.. Of course this is just one paper on a sample size of 70 participants and it uses subjective ratings which are always tricky, but it's good food for thought. Link to the paper.

@Antor8188 Wow, I am truly inspired by your bravery to approach so many girls in one night. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there and it's not an easy feat. You should be proud of yourself for taking action and making progress. I know it can be scary to put yourself out there, but you are doing an amazing job! Keep pushing yourself and don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. You are on the right path and I believe in you. Keep up the great work and I wish you all the best in your journey. You got this!

@Yog Just to clarify, OBE is out of body experience, correct? If so how did you practice that? And have you ever managed to "exit"? Thanks for sharing your experience regarding the heartrate as well.

@kray Hahahahaha how is this so extremely relatable! Thanks for sharing my friend, zooted sounds just about right

I smoked a fat pure joint a couple of nights ago, and I got higher than ever before, even compared to a strong dose of truffles. I didn't expect weed to have this effect, and I didn't plan to "go on a trip".. nevertheless, I embraced it and avoided any feelings of panik. At some point I started meditating, and I felt like none of my senses are "personal" or that they belong to me. I started letting go of sight, hearing, and bodily sensations to see what would remain. In the end the last thing I was about to let go of was my heartbeat. I intuitively knew that if I let go of that, that I would KNOW who I really am, or that I will exit this game/reality. However, I didn't dare take that step.. I wonder if anyone had any similar effects with smoking weed before? It seems like it can be a powerful tool for spiritual work as well. I still wonder what could have happened if I let go of my heartbeat.

Still too early in my psychedelic journey to mix and match haha The only mix I had was smoking some weed at some point on my 12 hour mescaline trip. Other than that, I would be curious to try MDMA + psilocybin (aka nexus flip).

It could be a case of weak MDMA. There's no telling what you get exactly, and I didn't use a testing kit.

Congratulations! This is quite the accomplishment! May I ask how you managed to work through the people pleasing habits? Was it through shadow work or therapy? I had some interesting insights on magic truffles regarding the authentic self. To me it felt as you said, a compass that guides you to the life experience that was intended for you by source/God

@Kamo This could explain why I had a mild MDMA experience while microdosing magic truffles I usually space my trips apart, no matter the substance of choice @thepixelmonk 2-3 months seems rather long. Is there a particular reason why? Is this the case for MDMA only or also psilocybin?

And would microdosing psilocybin affect tolerance to MDMA?