Fadious

I was in a similar boat as well. Had my very first kiss with a girl in my late twenties, and it was very awkward. But, we kept seeing each other for a few more dates. I could sense the intimacy growing and that I would have to setup a date where sex is possible. I also was anxious and panicky about it because of the lack of experience, so I started watching videos and educating myself on how to give her a great time. So when the moment arrived, I didn't tell her, and I executed what I learned successfully. Fast forward 6 months down the line, we're both in love. I decide to reveal to her that she was in fact my first. She thanked me for letting her know, however she was a bit disappointed that I didn't tell her, because she would have liked to try to make it "more special" and I basically robbed her the opportunity to do such a human loving thing. There were no hard feelings, she just wished she could have made it even more unique So please do yourself a favor, learn from my mistake. Tell her in the way Roy described, and be present every second of it. You don't get to have sex for the 1st time twice <3

So I am planning to use MDMA more frequently to do some serious shadow work since it's a phenomenal tool for that kind of therapy. There is a popular belief that MDMA should only be taken once every 3 months. However, there is no science to substantiate this arbitrary duration. I did my own research, and apparently PTSD patients enrolled into MDMA studies by MAPS received their doses once every 3-4 weeks. So under proper conditions and risk mitigation strategies this should be possible as well. After some digging I created my own risk reduction protocol to use for my trips. But I thought it might be useful to people here who would also like to use MDMA more frequently in a responsible way. For educational purposes only.

@OBEler Don't have a link, but it was magnesium glycinate, vitamin C, and omega-3 fatty acids. I'm unfamiliar with the detox effects of ALA, but I assume that would occur only if you take it in higher doses only a daily basis?

Thank you for sharing your experience. I also had a wonderful mystical experience on these seeds. I took them while doing a breathwork session, but even after two hours I didn't feel anything different than usual, so I decided to go to bed. While in bed I was contemplating the concept of "no self", without realizing that I was actually starting to peak.. I imagined that my entire life, from birth until this moment and far into the future is just a story, so I decided to drop it. As soon as I did that, my mind started rushing a flood of rapidly consecutive thoughts, from childhood memories, to what I ate yesterday, to my future career.. HOPING that I would latch onto any of those thoughts. But I never did. It was very easy to drop all interest in all thoughts because they all pertain to the story, my story. Soon after I experienced NO THOUGHTS.. Complete silence for the first time in my life! That brought about the most profound feeling of peace and serenity I have ever experienced, and I had amazingly soothing experiences with magic mushrooms before. It is impossible to feel any worry or angst if there's nothing or no one to worry about! Finally I understood what all those spiritual teachers mean with focus on the sense of "I am". Actually, in my experience it felt more like "This is". I was completely impersonal, pure awareness. Of course I am neither the body or the mind! I wasn't concerned with either the past or the future. So no wonder that what remains is the present moment. In that space of "selflessness" I felt no desire, just pure bliss in being. However I had the intuition that being in this "formless" state is not all there is.. There must have been a reason why I am the "selfish" ego as well. Surely the point is not to just sit there in bliss and do nothing??? As soon as that thought started bothering me, I tapped back into the "selfless/formless" and went back into the peace. The week after this experience I saw a video by Frank Yang where he talks about what to do after the realization of the no-self. He claims that by moving from form to formless and back several times, the gap between both states narrows down until they unite. In that place you are your ego self AND the formlessness at the same time. You are still active, but all your actions come from a place of love, authenticity and fearlessness without attachment to outcome.

I have difficulty expressing my negative emotions, especially anger. I fear that I will upset others, even if they did something that deserves a negative reaction from my side, my mind comes up with a million justifications for their bad behavior, and I suppress myself from expressing my emotional reaction in order not to make them feel hurt. Maybe I also fear that they will come back with an argument that shows that my reaction is unwarranted and unfounded. I don't know why this has been a theme throughout my life, I suspect it is rooted in my childhood and having a volatile angry and aggressive father (no physical violence though, he hit me three times in my life, but I've seen him hit my mom around six times throughout childhood) Why does this keep happening even in situations where the stakes are not high? How can I change this?

Check out these findings from false insights research: False insights can, and do, occur The “aha” experience is made up of suddenness, pleasure, and certainty Correct “aha” experiences have higher ratings of suddenness, pleasure, and certainty. When insights are correct, people tend to experience relief. But when they’re incorrect, people tend to feel surprised, leading to similar ratings that can be misconstrued as correct There is no research yet into how these false insights can lead to delusions in people who use psychedelics. But maybe it's good to keep in mind that just because you have a powerful experience from psilocybin, LSD, MDMA, or another psychedelic, that doesn’t mean your conclusions are always necessarily true.. Of course this is just one paper on a sample size of 70 participants and it uses subjective ratings which are always tricky, but it's good food for thought. Link to the paper.

@Antor8188 Wow, I am truly inspired by your bravery to approach so many girls in one night. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there and it's not an easy feat. You should be proud of yourself for taking action and making progress. I know it can be scary to put yourself out there, but you are doing an amazing job! Keep pushing yourself and don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. You are on the right path and I believe in you. Keep up the great work and I wish you all the best in your journey. You got this!

I smoked a fat pure joint a couple of nights ago, and I got higher than ever before, even compared to a strong dose of truffles. I didn't expect weed to have this effect, and I didn't plan to "go on a trip".. nevertheless, I embraced it and avoided any feelings of panik. At some point I started meditating, and I felt like none of my senses are "personal" or that they belong to me. I started letting go of sight, hearing, and bodily sensations to see what would remain. In the end the last thing I was about to let go of was my heartbeat. I intuitively knew that if I let go of that, that I would KNOW who I really am, or that I will exit this game/reality. However, I didn't dare take that step.. I wonder if anyone had any similar effects with smoking weed before? It seems like it can be a powerful tool for spiritual work as well. I still wonder what could have happened if I let go of my heartbeat.

@Yog Just to clarify, OBE is out of body experience, correct? If so how did you practice that? And have you ever managed to "exit"? Thanks for sharing your experience regarding the heartrate as well.

@kray Hahahahaha how is this so extremely relatable! Thanks for sharing my friend, zooted sounds just about right

And would microdosing psilocybin affect tolerance to MDMA?

Still too early in my psychedelic journey to mix and match haha The only mix I had was smoking some weed at some point on my 12 hour mescaline trip. Other than that, I would be curious to try MDMA + psilocybin (aka nexus flip).

It could be a case of weak MDMA. There's no telling what you get exactly, and I didn't use a testing kit.

Congratulations! This is quite the accomplishment! May I ask how you managed to work through the people pleasing habits? Was it through shadow work or therapy? I had some interesting insights on magic truffles regarding the authentic self. To me it felt as you said, a compass that guides you to the life experience that was intended for you by source/God

@Kamo This could explain why I had a mild MDMA experience while microdosing magic truffles I usually space my trips apart, no matter the substance of choice @thepixelmonk 2-3 months seems rather long. Is there a particular reason why? Is this the case for MDMA only or also psilocybin?

I started dating this girl 6 months ago, our shared passion for metal music brought us together, we had fun hanging out together both at home and outside. She's completely infatuated by me. The sexual chemistry is amazing and kept getting better and better. But since the beginning I felt like there was something missing, a certain lack of a deeper connection. I don't know if it's her personality, lack of maturity, maybe some insecurities she has, or something about my own preferences and priorities, but I just couldn't develop deeper affection towards her. She's like a friend who I hang out and have great sex with, rather than a romantic partner. She is also a jealous person, she had previous relationships where people blatantly cheated on her, so I understand where the extra sensitivity comes from. She got upset last week when I told her that I'm still friends with an ex that I broke up with more than a year ago. I explained the situation to her, was honest and transparent with her about everything, that I'm not interested in going back to my ex, and that she already has a new boyfriend. She calmed down, but her jealousy flared up again a couple of days after, that's when I decided to finally reveal to her about how I don't have deeper emotions towards her, and that I don't think it's best to continue the relationship. At first, she got angry, then calmed down, and started apologizing for behaving the way she did. She was surprised to learn that my feelings towards her are not as strong, since my actions conveyed otherwise. This is a problem from my side, I didn't say anything earlier, I liked her so much and I was hoping for my emotions to catch-up with time, but they didn't. I explained to her that I don't judge or blame her for her jealous emotions, she realized what she did and apologized which is what matters to me. I told her the main reason for the breakup is my lagging feelings of deeper connection towards her. I also mentioned to her that her fascination with me may have given me the notion that she "needs" the relationship, which is not a healthy basis. It is better if two people want to "share" each other rather than be dependent on one another. She told me that that was not the case, that she is not dependent on me, and that she would be okay if the relationship goes on or not. She is just struggling to understand why the relationship has to end now. She wants us to give it more time, to see how it goes, and keep enjoying each other's company as we did before. I told her I needed some time to think about it, so now I'm debating whether to give this another shot. I'm not in a place where I want to date anyone else, right now I'm focusing on my work as I'm changing my career path. I won't lose anything by giving the relationship a bit more time, it's enjoyable and rather easy and comfortable. I'm just worried she will get hurt even more when we (more than likely) breakup again in the future. Maybe there's a problem with my definition of a successful relationship. Maybe it doesn't have to last forever, and I should just let the relationship run its course, enjoy our time and learn all the lessons we can from each other.

Last week I had an unsettling experience while tripping on 8 grams of magic truffles. I basically got stuck in a loop of questions. I would question the thought I'm having, then I question the question, then I even question the need for an answer, so on and so forth until I found myself in existential dread. I also remember feeling overwhelmed, because in any given moment there is an infinite option of thoughts/actions that one can do. I felt paralyzed and nihilistic. I stopped seeing the meaning or purpose behind any action or thought. Does anything really matter? I was so aware of my awareness, practically predicting how any train of thoughts could unfold, stopping me from taking any step in any direction. At some point I also was seeing the beauty in my surroundings then thinking to myself "It's all very beautiful.. but now what? What's the point?" Even though it was a smaller psychedelic dose, it felt like I couldn't handle these vicious thought cycles. Truly a challenging and humbling experience. Have you ever experienced anything similar? What could it mean, and how should I best approach this situation if it happens again?

I have yet to meet anyone who managed to revive the magical joy of being a child, the passionate thirst for living, and the boundless sense of amazement, curiosity, and infatuation with life. Is it even possible? Is living that experience vicariously through children the only way? Why did we even lose this "magic" as we grew up?

It's interesting you would say that. During my trip I had moments where I was smiling widely, and I was aware of some resistance, something in me was saying "don't smile like an idiot, you'll look like a baked drug junky". But since I was fully aware, I was able to let go of that limitation and started smiling freely without worrying what others around me think of it. I think that's an all around solid tip. I do struggle with doing the things that I genuinely enjoy, and tend to get dragged into doing things that other people enjoy instead. But I'm getting better at recognizing what brings me authentic enjoyment.

Thank you everyone for the input. I'm happy to say that I managed to truly experience what all of you described. I am overjoyed to share that I have successfully re-experienced the state of child-like wonder and then some. I did a 15g dose of magic truffles for the first time a couple of days ago, and it was exactly what I was looking for. The experience is impossible to put into words, so I will try to be as brief as possible. First of all, I felt an immense sense of presence, of being in the moment to the fullest degree. I noticed the tiniest details about everything around me. Every moment was perfect, everything was equally beautiful, and I didn't want anything to change, in fact I didn't desire or need anything, or better put, I noticed how the "higher" me didn't need or desire anything, but the "vessel" me has its survival needs. I was aware that I am not the body, yet I knew to respect it and care deeply for it. I also developed a profound understanding of boredom. I realized that it's impossible to feel bored if you are fully mindful and present in the moment. Because essentially boredom is wanting the present moment to change, or to be different. I also had so many insights, felt like I was operating from a higher level of consciousness, had meta-awareness to my egotistical biases, and was able to contemplate effortlessly. What an astoundingly powerful tool. Now I understand what Leo is raving on about when he's talking about psychedelics. Now I notice that I'm much more present in my day-to-day life. I feel intensely grounded and mindful. What a true blessing and a gift.

Hey people, There a few things that I would like to fine-tune in my banter in common situations, so any input is welcome! Examples: Some girls start self-deprecating after I tease them, saying "I know.. I'm just a basic bitch" So I hug her and say "At least you're honest, you win some brownie points" Is there a smoother way to handle this? Also, when a girl says "Fuck you!" playfully, I respond by "Fuck me? Well you're gonna have to buy me dinner first, I'm not that easy" Any other ideas? In general, when a girl teases you with a playful insult, is it better to double down on it? Or to comment on her being naughty, feisty etc... Or tell her she'll get spanked if she keeps up the attitude? Finally, when she tells a lame joke, how do you usually tease her about it? I'm fairly new to cold-approach and banter, but I'm having amazing results and so much fun with it, and I'm very excited to learn more ways to entertain my self in non-logical playful conversations with girls. It also feels like no one else talks this way to girls, so much so that most girls tend to be very receptive and enjoy it a lot as well, so it's a win-win for both of us!

@Roy Thanks, I will keep that in mind. Staying grounded is important. It's true, I should be okay with whatever reaction she gives me. I'm not her clown or dancing monkey, I'm doing it to have fun and connect. @aurum I agree with you. I realize there's way more to human interaction than that, the same line may have a completely different effect for different people or even the same person depending on many factors. However, while I'm having these reference experiences, I'm noticing some recurrent themes in conversations, and I'm just looking at different angles I can have fun and experiment with the next time they come up. I was actually going to start a thread asking about how to make the most out of each approach/interaction. I like your idea of replaying what didn't go so well and contemplating over it. It's still enjoyable to post on the forum and share experiences though @Leo Gura Haha can't wait to play around with those next time! @Tristan12 Yes please! These lines are so much fun, I actually laughed out loud at Leo's "You're an extraordinary bitch"

Thank you for pointing me to David Tian. I don't have any severe social issues. I'm very social and have great emotional intelligence. However after my one and only girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me, I realized that I might have some deep rooted issues. She never really had any physical attraction to me, but was hoping she would develop those feelings over time. Poor thing even tried to convince herself that she was asexual... I discovered that I am a "Nice Guy" Seems like David Tian's Rock Solid Relationships is exactly the program I need to heal my psychological baggage of feeling needy, unworthy, and having an achievement based self-esteem. I will also be reading and implementing the exercises in the books (No More Mr Nice Guy) and (Not Nice). I'm afraid that learning game will just further repress those issues. I will prioritize healing my Nice Guy syndrome, but I guess I can learn some Game at the same time. Thank you everyone else for your input, it puts things into perspective. Slow and steady wins the race!

Just to get a realistic expectation. I'm completely novice and I'm willing to put in the work, but how many years does it take to become good at game? How many nights am I supposed to be going out every week?

People are inflicting terrible forms of suffering on each other. To my shallow understanding of enlightenment, it is God inflicting suffering on God, and it is all imaginary. From a survival paradigm, there are consequences to these actions. But are there any spiritual repercussions to this? Is direct experience of infinite Love the only way to accept all the cruelty in the world in all its forms ? I would appreciate your thoughts on that. Thank you.