pointessa

It is really challenging when a health issue creates limitations to what you would like to do. Would you be willing to give a brief description of the type of health challenge you are experiencing? How does the illness limit you? Do you have flare ups with times that you feel well? Of course, if you don't want to discuss those things I understand.

Hardkill, here is the elephant in the room that no one has addressed. You are in your 30's, I suspect you still live with your parents or they pay your expenses if you don't. Your mom is still helping you with your homework and your parents have created "jobs" for you, as a reason to continue to support you and you don't take that very seriously and according to you, you take advantage of that. I would be blown away if you did have a good work ethic, with your parents enabling you to be dependent on them. You have never had to work in the real world where you perform or your let go. Your family dynamics are very out of balance. Why your parents wish to keep you as dependent as a high school kid and why you continue to play that role you will have to figure out. The other side of the coin is, why have you allowed them to do so? No wonder you feel anxious about doing a decent days work, it has never been required of you. Your parents allow you to slack off and the worse consequence you get is a little disapproval from them.In fact, I would be concerned for you even if you were a high school kid with that kind of relationship with your parents. You are in your 30's, your not a kid, your a middle aged man. Have you considered striking out on your own? I doubt your parents can continue finding odd jobs to support you for the rest of your life. Have you considered that?

The reason that I care about health has to do with the quality of life. For instance, when meditating, too much pain or discomfort can be detrimental to the process. I have no desire to live longer, I simply feel it is beneficial to avoid diseased states and pain.

@Yonkon I feel like I regularly benefit for the practice and sometimes there seems to be a spike. The wonderful thing is the daily benefits that accrue over time. I can look back and see wonderful progress. I might not feel that there is progress every day, but as I look back it is significant.

than

Addictions require an energetic exchange. The more attention and interaction you give them the more powerful and entrenched they become. One conscious act that you can do in this moment if you have enough clarity is not to engage with the mindstuff of the addiction. That would include thinking about doing the addiction, shame or remorse after acting on the addiction, fantasies about the object of addiction. This in not exactly what you are asking but it is a tip for the here and now. I think there might be a danger in thinking that some stage of enlightenment down the road will cure me of my addiction. That might be the ego's way of holding on to it.

You have some great tips! Thanks.

Manjushri, you have given yourself very good advice. Sleep is a very good idea.

It kind of blows me away that so many that profess enlightenment or are trying to get there can use mental gymnastics to rationalize eating animals that have live a life of abject torture so you can pick up a neat little package at the grocery story. Have you forgotten that compassion is a part of the enlightenment process? I guess that's too inconvenient. Enlightenment does not entail being indifferent to the suffering of the creatures on this planet. This is an opportunity for you to demonstrate compassion in your actions not weasel your way out...

I would love to see you rip apart a carcas of dead meat with your wimpy little canine teeth. Humans are the only creatures that have to cut up their friggin meat. Our molars are perfect for a fruit diet.

@Manjushri How do you know your family doesn't love you? My parents never said they loved me, never hugged me or complimented me but they showed their love in other ways. They did the best they can. Maybe you should try to forget about the problems in your thinking at look at the external word until you feel more stable. Honestly, things will change, you won't feel this way forever.

After a life of suppressing emotion, I now occasionally have memories pop into my head when I am meditating and I physically feel a ball of energy, usually from my gut or heart area. As I focus my attention on the experience and witness it, allowing the emotions to fully express itself I can feel the knot of energy moving up. In really intense situations I feel like I am gagging on the energy as it comes up. During this experience intense emotion is experienced and when the process is over it is over. I recognize when one of these events is starting to occur, because there is no story with the event, as the ego likes to do. It is just an event accompanied by the emotional knot. I give it total attention and respect the emotional response, then it is gone.

@torgeir I have tinnitis in my right ear as well. I have learned to deal with it, over time my brain blocks it out most of the time, but sometimes it still gets to me. I have heard that there is a treatment in the UK using a device that goes in the ear like an earphone that will create certain sounds that overtime will alleviate the ringing sounds, which are actually originating from the brain. I'm sorry you have to go this, it can be very trying. I am happy to see that you have been able to use this trying experience to develop empathy to suffering. Here is the site if you would like to check out the treatment in the UK. I don't know if it really works or not but you can check it out. Other suggestions are drugs that make you less anxious and herbs, which never did anything for me. I also, use a white noise machine to sleep as another member does. https://www.thetinnitusclinic.co.uk/

@Manjushri Here is a simple suggestion. Get a piece of paper and write down every problem in you life that is causing you discomfort on a list. Review each problem and ask yourself if there is anything you can do about this now or in the near future. If there is something you can do write that problem on another list. If you can't do anything about it, leave it off your 2nd list. Now you will have a list with the problems you can do something about, It is time to prioritize those problems in the order of importance. You can make a detailed list of steps if needed about how you will approach each problem you can do something about. Now for the problems you can do nothing about, let them go. They are making you anxious and all the worry in the world will not change that. If you feel too overwhelmed to do this whole process immediately, do what you can. Please promise me that you won't hurt yourself. I know what feeling suicidal feels like. In fact, I once attempted suicide and believe me, if you are not successful, it will make everything more difficult. If you need to talk to someone you can PM me.

Paan, I have changed over the years. I have a history of wanting to own items that I think are beautiful. My home is full of them. Although, I appreciate their beauty, each item comes with a sort of responsibility. I have been slowly changing my feelings about objects, I don't want excess, I want just what I need and will use. I can think better, things are clearer in a space that is free of excess. Every object you own adds a bit of a burden to your existence. Then there is the cost, you mentioned as well.

@Paan First of all congratulations on recognizing the limitations of owning and coveting objects. Here's a technique I use that is effective. Mentally walk through your purchase. See yourself spending the money, imagine the rush of the new object and then reflect on how you will feel about it after the newness wears off. Reflect that there will be no long lasting fulfillment with this object. Reflect that you won't fill that rush again until the process starts over.. I have to admit my material thing is art supplies, so I know what you are talking about.

@Paul92 What if you could consider your role on this planet as a part you are playing? Why not create your role to be the best it can be? ET does not say that we should not be involved in the world, just that we have an understanding of what it is. You have a choice how you will respond to what you know at this moment. I appreciate your passion. If you stay on this path your perceptions of all of this will change. I remember when I first began studying ET, I began to really focus on the Egoic self. I came to see that most relationships where just in place to satisfy the needs of each ego. Everything seemed to futile to me. Most interactions seemed horribly shallow and I was shocked to see how cunning the ego is, how many layers there are. That was before I started meditation. I found that a regular meditation practice has been greatly beneficial. It took me a long time to realize that the path to enlightenment is about removing and letting go , not adding more.

@Paul92 If you go to some place like Disneyland , or watch a really great movie you can become immersed in the experience. It's true that it is not reality in the classic sense, but you can suspend that understanding and become immersed in the experience, all the while being aware at some level that this is not your consistent reality. Would you refuse the experience because in some sense it is contrived? You can experience all aspects of it, even the scariest aspects because you know this is not your consistent reality. Would you choose to go through your time at Disneyland or watching the movie and not savor the experience because it is fake? I think the essential message from ET in The Power of Now is about living in the present moment, rather than being dominated by the world as interpreted by the egoic self. This is actually a liberating thing. Experiencing life without labeling everything as bad, good, liked or dislikes is freeing in many ways. You are immersed in this experience. If you can immerse yourself in it while living in the moment, while not being dominated by the egoic self, you will have accomplished a lot. It is a process of removing the layers of delusion created by the ego in the head.

@solr In the past, I had the same situation with alcohol. Once I started drinking, I would have no self control over when I would stop. I would do ridiculous, tragic things while under the influence. From my experience and from knowing others with the same situation, the control and compulsion gets more intense, never better. As women, we can be vulnerable when really drunk to those that would take advantage of this. Alcoholism is called the disease of denial and it is really easy for the ego to find ways to continue the loop of drinking, loss of control, shame, embarrassment. The discomfort that loop caused made me want to drink more. I was really, really attached to the initial experiences of alcohol that provided me with peace and euphoria, even after they were long gone. I never realized how deeply all of that effected me until I got out of it.