Anicko

We are trained from the time we are babies to be afraid of everything. We are taught that if we aren't rich, powerful, married to a hottie and packing achievements in life then we are worthless. We are taught that we must be perfect, and on those rare occasions we're not, well, someone else is to blame. We are taught to obey authority blindly. And then we are taught to allow that authority to lie to us and divide us. We are taught that if only we work hard enough, we can have it all. That if it's not working that we are always at fault and we should feel rotten (so we better find something or someone to blame!!). We are taught that if we have something we better hold tight because someone is waiting to take it from us. Heck, everyone around us all the time are thinking negative things about us, right? We are taught that normal, natural functions of our minds and bodies will send us straight to hell. We believe all these kinds of lies. We believe we can somehow claim control and make ourselves happy. When you get really into the truth, though, we can't control a single thing. We try to at least control our own minds and bodies, but we can't, not really. Not the way we think we can. We can avoid, delay, suppress... Control won't get us anywhere, anyways. What we actually need to do is learn to use our minds and bodies the right way. Stop believing the lies others tell us, and the ones we tell ourselves. Then you can start to be free of those attachments, and ultimately, have a life worth living.

If I won't die (or be in some way significantly harmed) without it, I don't actually *need* it.

When I first found information on HSPs, it was so helpful to me! It was like wow, I'm not just weird or crazy. It has helped me in many ways. I'm very detail-oriented and my intuition is strong. On the other hand, I often felt insane. The most helpful thing has been learning to understand my feelings and what they mean as well as realizing that I can reject other people's energies, emotions and projections. The better I get at it, the more peaceful my life becomes.

My favorite is the recent one about all the ways society is screwing you. So much truth in there. Depending on where you are in your journey, this video would say so many different things to you. It's harshly put, and would likely leave many "unaware" people very offended. It gave me a good opportunity to observe my own beliefs and changes of mind on things. It also made me more deeply appreciate where I'm at and where I'm going. It makes me sad to think of people who might be left behind, but I can't change their minds for them. The outro almost made me cry.

I'd like to attribute the many changes in my life to all of the inner work I've been trying to do. I've got an incredibly long way to go, but things are much better in many ways. It's funny how the old voice creeps in and tries to pull its tricks. And it's funny to talk back to it. Funny as in almost scary. Weird. I went through an intense period of reading. It's really slowed down and gotten more focused as I found what I think I was looking for. For the time being, at least. It's a strange experience to battle your self, fully aware while doing so. It's hard to find the information from other people; it's a hard thing to put into words, but we all seek some sort of answer for everything. Accepting that true state of not knowing is a hard thing! But when you do, things start to change for you, subtly at first. I realize how dreary and jaded I was! I think I'll keep on keepin' on. All paths lead to death in the same physical manner. What do I want to have behind me when I get there?

Stop telling yourself you have nothing to offer and are wasting people's time, first off. It's not the truth, and you are hurting yourself believing that. Take notice of how people really just talk for the sake of talking. Most of the time, they aren't saying much worth saying. As you realize it, it will help you deal with your anxiety. I think sometimes the problem is that people aren't really listening in conversation. People tend to be so focused on what they think they need to respond with, that they lose the ability to have spontaneous, authentic discussion. All most people want is a really good listener. Focus on developing your listening skills and you will find your speaking skills automatically improve, and the things you say will be more genuine and inspired.

I don't think there's any one diet meant for everyone. I think we all have the right to choose for ourselves what we like to eat. I am an on again/off again vegetarian. I love the animals more than I love the hamburger, ultimately. But depending on where you live, it can be very hard. Part of me wants to go full vegan, but, cheese is my soul mate. I do try and buy the most environmentally responsible products I can though. Experiment. Explore your own opinions and beliefs on what you eat. Decide what you like best. Live your life.

Opinions are like assholes, right? I've been working hard at trying to let go of judgments and opinions. It's funny how PISSED OFF people can get when you won't take a side. I don't have to say anything except 'I don't really care' to have someone go all up in defensive arms. What the hell are they trying to defend? I'm not going to argue the points. I'm bored and trying not to get annoyed. Let it go, man! Definitely a time to practice the mirror thing, definitely a time to develop patience, as well as letting go of guilty feelings and worry about whether they are going to be mad at me... There's a ton of opportunity in being very aware in your decision to stay open minded and not take a side. People even go nuts when you don't take a side on the best way to do the dishes. Try it, sometimes in the craziness you realize something really deep about yourself. Just be careful not to go all judgmental on the other person. Especially if you like them.

Who's rules are you following to discipline yourself? If you're having to force yourself to do something, obviously either the way you're doing it or the thing you're making yourself do isn't right for you on a core level. You are the only one who can figure that out. Just because some expert says that's how you do it does not make it true for everyone. I hate the word discipline. I hate rules that assume we are all too be sheep, doing things the same way. You can't find your true creativity if you don't get out of that stupid box and solve your problems using your own personal guidance system.

I disagree, you can remain neutral to anything if you are free of any beliefs or judgment about it. You have to be comfortable 'not knowing'. Not easy for people. Even "natural" likes and dislikes. How can you ever know for sure that if you had been born somewhere else, in a different culture, you wouldn't like what to you now you just naturally dislike? Sometimes our opinions are truth, but it is folly to think that our own opinions are always right. The higher up that horse you climb, the further from yourself you get. We all know those people, and no one likes to admit we unknowingly are those people. Humility is key, but it is the kind about being honest with ourselves that we don't actually know very much at all, our beliefs are stupid and false, and therefore don't need an opinion on everything. It's nice to not be triggered by every little thing when you let it go.

I would get my ass in gear asap. And I say this with absolute love. You need to stop believing you are 'basically a 17 year old boy' because, duh, you are clearly not. You don't have to stay stuck just because of your reality right now. You have to stop believing stupid lies your ego character tells you. Then you'll start seeing doors to try opening. Best wishes.

Okay, you guys got some things really running through my mind. Since I've really gotten into my own development, I have not had to burn a single bridge or force someone out of my life that I didn't really want to be there. Some people started changing into someone I liked more. Maybe they were exactly the same and I was simply seeing them differently. Does it matter? No, because either way I don't hate their guts anymore. Some of them actually leave my reality on their own. Some dropped out of school, some left their jobs, some moved away. They simply don't exist to me anymore. So far, this magical coincidence hasn't resulted in a death. Half kidding. Anyways, I want everyone to stop worrying about anyone else! Forget that she's a slob, her mess stops bothering you. Forget that he is loud and rude and suddenly you don't hear him anymore. Stop judging anyone else about anything, focus on you existing as the best you can be, and you realize you can just not notice the stuff that used to bother you. A much more peaceful life manifests, and it's pretty sweet! .... Please note, it's hard to do, but when you see it start working, you'll want to keep working at it.

I had a few ideas for what I wanted to write about this morning. I have three blocks of three hours per week where I am 100% alone in my home. That's assuming no one is sick, or for one reason or another there's no school for one (or all) kids. I treasure it! But it will likely play a key role in how frequently I write. I'm pretty inconsistent in real-life journaling. Anyways. I decided I would explain a bit about why I focus so much on beliefs and not just thoughts in general. I am really starting to feel like our thoughts really do make our reality. In what ways it's so hard to explain in words, and often seems a little... Crazy? No one wants to think they might be balls-to-the-wall batshit insane. But I swear to you, when I took all the positive affirmations and look-on-the-bright-side baloney, and started asking myself why I thought I needed to force myself to see the good instead of/in place of/without the bad. That was pretty insightful. I never completely was aware that I constantly felt judged, for a million stupid reasons. I never really let go of some huge things in my past, but I thought I had forgiven and forgotten! I was lying to myself about practically everything because I wasn't noticing those thoughts in the background. To get rid of those thoughts for real, you have to get rid of the beliefs you are hiding that are causing them. Sometimes it's as simple as realizing something obviously stupid as your mother telling you never trust someone wearing red. Pretty easy to laugh that away. "Oh, weird, that's why I didn't like that guy today. I was making a really stupid judgment without even reading it. '. Dig deeper than that, and you might find beliefs hidden about not trusting someone with any sort of feature, skin color, disposition, and you discover all sorts of thoughts that were impacting you constantly and you never knew!! This goes so ridiculously deep and primetime-dramaish, I can't help but wonder. And try. I'm not living a life right now so radically different than yesterday, or the day or week or year before, that it's obvious to anyone that I know anything. But I see, feel, think differently enough, and am experiencing enough positive change, that I'll keep working on it. Sometimes I can feel that 'ego' character creeping in, I mean like literally *feel* it, to try and put that stupid stuff back in my mind. Sometimes I can laugh it away! Every now and then, I fall into the trap of anxiety or defeat. But I am learning to be more patient. I definitely believe 'I am not a patient person'. It'll be so helpful when it's gone. Thanks for reading!

I think that if you are even somewhat awake/aware, you won't fall into any potential 'traps' (for lack of a better word) Teal presents. You would simply dismiss the idea. If you are totally in the illusion, however, Teal Swan definitely would not be the worst spiritual 'leader' you could follow. She's definitely on the right path with many things. In my opinion, her worst crime is that she doesn't go far enough. She teaches too much about focusing on the positive, when really you need to dig through those positive emotions to find why they, too, are false. Then you get to real truth and real peace.

I understood what you were saying. I'm personally not bothered by the language you chose because I knew what you meant- words often fail us, but they are what we have to work with! A lot of people don't understand or like what I have to say. Doesn't bother me, either. I'm learning that it doesn't matter whether people like it because when it's the truth, it's the truth. Ha! Sometimes I find better approaches, sometimes I discover I was confused or mistaken. Oh well, drop the old, carry on with the new. As long as my goal is to be truthful and act always with the best intentions for all involved, I can't really cause true, permanent harm. Even if someone wants to accuse me of it.

I find that looking at the same thing from multiple angles really helps in the letting go process. Look for the reasons why whatever happened was a big ol lie. Really forgive (not easy to do, but necessary for your own healing). Some things you have to rehash over and over before you finally let it go. That's okay, the more you do it, the easier it gets. And the freedom payoff is incredible; no matter how awful whatever happened *was*, you can be free of it.

I prefer the terms 'true self/false self' to higher/lower. As you move along, you realize that it's more that people aren't being honest with themselves and with others (knowingly or not, it doesn't matter). You can actually see that it's pretend, it's false. And as you reach the point where you don't want to hang around with false selves, it irritates the poo out of you at first. Eventually, the worst ones will be out of the picture. And at first it hurts, it's hard. But once you start connecting with people who are able to be their true selves, you won't want it any other way. It gets easier to let go of the false ones.

I'm sorry, but I'm not sure one thing is about the other. I may just be confused, but your pieces aren't fitting together for me. I'm inclined to disagree that dreams are "just a collection of thoughts" in the same way I think you mean. I don't thinks dreams themselves can manifest. If a change happens in your life after a dream, it's not - because of- the dream, it's because of the thoughts that the dream brought to your awake mind. And this is where you have to accept a state of true not knowing, because what about all the dreams one has that they don't remember? One would simply be unaware that change was caused, indeed, by the physical manifestation of a dream, you just forgot! Cool theory, and all, but I don't believe it.

I dunno. I already tried to hop on the flouride-is-evil bandwagon, and while the evidence can seem compelling, I ultimately just don't buy it. I mean, I believed it enough that my husband has been buying (disgusting) flouride-free toothpaste. Lol. It's like vaccines being toxic or to blame. You know, I get the hype and I can appreciate a good attempt at fear mongering, but I don't believe it. I think we're better off just thinking these disorders are simply a misunderstanding of what is "normal".

I could take a few different perspectives on these disorders, and countless others. I'm most inclined to want to believe all of them are totally false. My son has been diagnosed with autism. He's so absolutely amazing and unique, but he also makes me want to cry and rage most days. Is there actually absolutely nothing wrong with him? Somehow it's our beliefs and judgments that make it "real"? That's some huge weird magic-bulletish pill to swallow. But I like it.

I have had a lucid dream that ended with being sucked up in a tornado. Did I choose that, or did I lose lucidity? I don't know. I never *can* know. I don't care. The tornado dream did correlate to my real life. I did have emotions tied to the 'meaning' of my dream. That gave me things to work on. I did not, however, wake up knowing how it actually really feels to be sucked up in a tornado. I bet it hurts a lot more. I can dream about being enlightened, but do I actually wake up knowing what it is? Lol, I don't plan to get sucked up by a tornado to find out.

Well, for me, just because science or even evidence says so, doesn't make it truth. I could go on forever with things someone later proved (all sorts of research) false. I simply stated my own thought on the matter, and it is what I experience in my personal reality. I do absolutely believe thoughts have power. I said dreams, in and of themselves, do not. After you have a dream, it stirs up thoughts in your awake mind that you must change. You don't lucidily make yourself have your perfect life in your dream and wake up to discover that old life was actually dream... Or maybe you do. I'll have to try it.

Okies. I'm trying to keep a short list of topics to bring up in my entries here. I seriously try to stick to one thing at a time, because I sometimes get so far from my original idea that I miss out on tons of things I meant to say. Ugh. I'm a mess sometimes. And that is just part of why I'm working to develop my patience. I discovered that deep down inside, I've always felt misunderstood. It seems like anything I say or do gets taken so far out of context that I'm left feeling like the asshole of the year. It leads to feeling like everyone is always mad at 'me' for something. It lead to feeling like I can't actually do anything right. It leads to being anxious and feeling stuck in life. It leads to not knowing what you like, what you want, who you think you are. You don't want to offend anyone, and your own feelings are so easily hurt that you are scared around new people (and sometimes friends and family!), you feel like the world could end at any moment (and part of you can't wait for it happen) in myriad ways. You are depressed and occasionally suicidal for real, and you have no idea what to do next. I can't help but wonder if this is a super-widely-held belief, and it's at the core of this "totally p.c." culture disease we are suffering through. But I digress. As a direct result of my belief, and others, I became a co-dependant people-pleaser, who for the life of her can't figure out who the heck she is or why life was so awful. And she has children who deserve better. So that is the main goal for me at the time is. Chip away at the side-beliefs that help hold the big one in place until it's gone. Because, the thing is, I have so many more to work on. Some things are easy. I'm in school right now and I'm so much less anxious now than I was a year ago. I still have lots of times it's there, and a fraction of those thoughts win out. I still have doubts about my decision in general to work out. But darn it, I'm doing me best to be as positive as feels natural. If I push into feeling forced to be positive I drop it, but too when the negative thoughts feel clearly ridiculous, I drop those too. I'm definitely not happy yet. But I'm no longer totally hopeless either. Sometimes those thoughts come in, and even writing it seemed overly dramatic, I swear. Sometimes I think I might be crazy. That 'Truman Show' feeling is way bizarre. But, dude. Life is better. I feel freer. Is it really possible to get to totally free to be yourself? Because, shit. When I get to tell that girl to shut her stupid mouth because she's an idiot when it's 100% the reality, and I don't have to feel bad because I'm not an asshole and I can't possibly be misunderstood and I just don't care what other people think... Okay, again, an extreme-case scenario (I've never had the guts to actually do that). If I am more patient, not only am I less angry and annoyed, sad, excited, any emotion really, but I'm also freer to watch my mind and the world around me. It's easier to catch lies, ones I tell myself, and ones from other people. Maybe you get what I mean. Maybe I'll be misunderstood. Whatever. I've got laundry to do. Peace out.

@Tom Beast The remedy is to get rid of whatever beliefs are holding you back! If it's your personality that is 'lazy', it's easy enough to make yourself get things done. I'm 'lazy', but in reality, I just prefer to do quiet, tedious tasks. Give me ten boxes of junk to sort where I can sit in one place and I'll do it for hours, but give me a job that requires running back and forth across the place and I will be miserable doing it. If it's your attitude holding you back that's harder because you have to admit to yourself 100% honestly that you think you're the bomb and shouldn't have to do whatever it is. No one wants to admit that, even privately to themselves. But if you don't, you can't be better.

The best way to stay in the moment- negative and positive - is to follow your feelings. "Why am I mad right now?", "What thought do I have right now that is making me uncomfortable?", "What about this situation is making me so happy?". Keep digging until you find the root. You might realize you think everyone is always judging you. Or that you can't do anything right. Or that you are afraid of losing control. Then you have the issue that needs to be addressed! It really truly works so much better than trying to avoid feeling bad. If you find it impossible to deal with in the moment, make note of the feeling and situation and bring it back into your mind when you feel ready to dig in!