JustThinkingAloud

I strongly believe that we get what we put in. When someone wins lottery and haven’t deserve it, they usually waste the money, spend it really quick and the benefit gets passed on others. Sometimes, it can take a while, sometimes, the order is other way around (something is taken from us and then we get compensated). But I still think that eventually it gets all balanced and distributed well.

Isn’t it all about growing and developing ourselves to become who we want to be? Yes, it’s like a child but every child eventually grows up and becomes an adult. I don’t believe that we have to be perfect, we all have our faults but if it’s something that’s stopping you from getting what you want, you’re much better off fixing it than supporting it. It’s all up to you.

I fully agree. IQ is a skill. And just like any other skill it can be learned (look up logic, common sense, causality etc). It’s got its uses and can be very useful in some situations while not much of a use or even a hindrance in other situations. Discussing the general usefulness will not lead anywhere and it’s like discussing whether knowing how to paint is necessary to survive and thrive. For some it is, for some it isn’t.

We do try harder when we don’t have a safety net but the quality is not there (at least in my case). I had to support myself and had to do things that paid more money so I can pay my bills. In your case, you’ve got an opportunity to invest in yourself well and learn things well without being pushed to do things to survive. Once you’re ready and your investment pays out, you’ll leave and learn whatever is necessary to be independent.

Try to find environment where you do fit in eg to be around people that are like you. You’ll realise that you’re not the only one and will learn from others in your situation how to deal with. Also, it’s much easier to find solutions to problems when you collaborate with people in a similar situation. Once you get stronger and more confident, you might even find ways how to go around it and get what you want.

Once you really want it and get fed up with being rejected, you’ll learn to lower your expectations. Also, it’s much easier to get attracted to someone when you love who they are. Love also makes sex ten times better as you adding more emotions and sensations. So attraction is not just about looks, it’s also about connection. It’s very hard to know who someone really is or how attractive they are just from a photo.

Start small and grow it big or as big as you want. Even just putting a smile on someone’s face is a positive change in this world. Imagine if everyone did that, how many smiles we would create! Give yourself a break, recharge and review what you want, learn how to get it and then go and get it!

The higher the risk, the higher the reward. One way to reduce risk is to diversify. That means to put your money into a mixture of investments. I’d contact a financial advisor to help you with that or you can just put your money into a managed fund with a respectable investment company and that could give you enough security. Talk to a respectable professional to get a proper advice.

Maybe imagine how big boobs age, it might cure you!

Decide who you want to be and practice doing it. It’s hard work though, it’s much easier to find the good bits about yourself. Also, there are reasons why you are the way you are, once you try to change it, good things about you might change too. Once you accept yourself, you’ll get more confidence and you’ll open up more. I’d do this before trying to find a girlfriend, it might get quite confusing for her to know who you are.

Maybe you need to make yourself happy again. Do what you enjoy doing to give yourself a boost. You created awesome life before so the skill to create it again is there.

Maybe try to practice the way you want to be. Decide and visualise how you would deal with situations before it happens, it’s much easier that way. Once it does happen then you got a plan to fall back on. It gets a bit too emotional to think on your feet it the middle of it all. You’ll start doing it without thinking about it once you’ve practised enough. I don’t think there’s such a thing as “overthinking”, the only time that it can become a problem is if you’re not getting anywhere and your thoughts keep going in circles. Analyse it, come to a conclusion, test it, correct it if necessary and keep repeating it till you start doing it without even knowing.

I talk myself out it. You’ve created a habit of thinking like that, break the habit, reasons yourself out it. Also, the anxiety comes from something that happened in the past or you scared that something will happen in the future. Explore it, find exactly what thoughts are triggering it the most to understand where it comes from so you can deal with it.

I love this. You don’t have to go big on your passion, start with small steps first and see where it leads.

What about trying it first. Take couple of months off and do it the way you want to do it. You won’t need that much money and it will give you more confidence that it’s what you really want.

I make notes to help me summarise the topic to make more generalised views. It also helps to put it in your own words, make your own connections. I was told that involving all senses helps a lot when trying to memorise (sorry, I don’t remember the source). So writing the notes, reading out loud, doing exercises, visualising how you would apply the new information etc. Repetition works too but it’s much more effective when you emotionally connect to it, eg you enjoy what you’re learning. I wouldn’t memorise too many details, it can clutter the mind.

I’m full Czech, I was born there. I left when I was 18 to escape my family, now I live in Australia. I couldn't go any further away from them! Interpol still found me though. Maybe I should've tried Antarctica but that could be a bit lonely.

What about this option? You can compensate him once you have enough money. Just an idea, would it be wrong? I think it might be ok.

Please ignore me if it’s not what you want hear. I don’t think that looks matter when you want a long term relationship. We all age and become “ugly”, if you love that person, it doesn’t matter, the attraction is still there. Turn off the lights! haha If you struggle with that as at this moment there’s still too much focus on looks. The best chance of finding someone is to go for your “league”.

Maybe find places where people like that would go. Seminars, courses etc.

I’m so sorry that this happened to you, it sucks to be deceived into doing something that you would never do! Unfortunately, you can’t change the past, it’ll always be with you, you can’t magically erase it. So why not to try to numb the experience or try to talk yourself out of your emotions. It did happen, you can’t change it, it sucks, oh well, don’t let it affect the rest of your life and take even more of your happiness away. You know that it won’t happen to you again, you’ll watch every girl like a hawk now! Share your experience, help others to know how to tell that a girl is transgender. Maybe those girls don't have other choice than to deceive. If you had to choose between having sex or deception, what would you choose? Or invest your time into inventing a time machine and change the past! I now it sounds like I’m making a joke, I’m not, it’s another option, it’s all up to you! You the one in charge of your life and sometimes things happen that we don’t like and can’t change, don’t let it destroy even more of your life than it already did.

Smoking! I’m down to 2 to 3 cigarettes a day from 60 a day. It’s bloody hard work! I’ve tried using will power but it didn’t work, I went “nuclear” and put myself off trying. Now, I’m using persuasion and I’m nearly there.

We are all unique and create unique habits and perceptions. You’ve let yourself be like that so you became like that. The question is whether it’s ok by you. If you want to change it, you can. If you don’t want to change, that’s completely fine too.

Try to find the reasons why you got hurt and that will make it easier to prevent being hurt again. Learn the lesson and have an action plan to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. You will still have the fear to remind you to be careful, take step at a time and learn how to avoid being hurt again. The fear will eventually go away once you learn better way of doing things.

You really need to want whatever your main goal is. It needs to feel good, just thinking about getting it should spark great feelings. Also, it’s not just all happy actions to get there, sometimes you have to do what you don’t like doing to get there so you need to focus on your main goal and use that great feeling to give you the motivation to get through it. Sometimes, when we’re not having any progress towards the goal, we can start questioning whether it’s all worth it. Find things to do that put you closer to your goal and celebrate every progress towards it, it will help to motivate you too. Of course, if you need a break, do it. Use it to review what you want and how to go about getting it. Good luck!