JustThinkingAloud

No, usually when you have a happy episode it slowly subsides into nothing not into negative and that’s if you don’t revive it but we naturally keep reviving it. I think that in your case it could be fear of losing happiness that kicks in right after you get happy. You can’t lose happy moments or memories, they stay with you forever and every time you recall those memories the feeling comes with it, there’s no need to be scared that you lose them. You can even recreate them because you were able to do it once so you have the skill to do it again.

I had a very bad 7 year marriage and 18 year wonderful relationship without being married. I don’t want to get married again because what happened to me is that very quickly after the wedding my ex started taking me for granted. He didn’t try to make it a good relationship any more, he thought that I’m stuck with him so he can do whatever he wants to me. Anyways, marriage changes things and you better be sure that it’s towards better before you do it.

Not all women are the same. One sided love doesn’t work. When you love someone that doesn’t love you back, it only leads to suffering. Find someone that actually loves you, I know that it’s easy said but it can be done. Loving relationships do exist. And based on your post, you’re a very loving person so once you find someone that actually deserves and appreciates your love by loving you back that person we’ll be very blessed.

It’s all about constant learning and finding a better way of doing things, especially when you’re not very experienced. The more you focus on what you want, the more energy you spend on researching better ways of doing things and you’ll eventually find a way that works. Every time you fail, you learned how not to do it so don’t repeat the same mistake. Keep trying and learning and eventually you’ll get there.

It’s about what is “real” to you. Are you thoughts real to you, are your emotions real to you, are your actions real to you? That’s all it matters.

I was given this life so I might as well enjoy it! It's not good to waste such a wonderful gift

Here’s your goal so go for it! Just be careful not to make it only about the destination, you need to enjoy the journey too! You have economics knowledge so use it to spend less (eg rent) or make more money. Start with small steps and as you get more confident make the steps bigger and bigger. You also need energy and food to be able to enjoy this life, it’s a necessity. How can you enjoy getting what you want without energy and good health. I’d start there, it will give you more energy to actually move towards your goals.

You are the way you act. Because you’re in the process of changing, it still doesn’t feel authentic. Once you created a habit of acting the new way, you’ll start doing it without thinking and it will become very authentic.

I’m not a guy so excuse me interfering. I think that when a guy is not “satisfied” all he thinks about is sex. I can’t have a decent conversation, everything he does is to persuade me to have sex with him. Maybe finding the right balance might be the answer. Anyways, just a different perspective

Nobody’s perfect. Personally, I hate texting but I’m old so I’m used to different things. I think it came from having people around and half of the time they spend on their mobile texting to someone. Also, it gives you many more things to talk about when you actually are with her, to me conversation gets much more personal, texting is a bit cold to me.

I went through Stage 2 breast cancer, Stage 2 because it was Grade 3, a very fast growing. The tumour doubled in size in two weeks! When I found out I wanted chemo right away, I didn’t want to wait as it was too scary. I went through 6 months of chemo with additional hormone suppressants in the same time as part of a clinical trial. I had the surgery after chemo and the cancer was completely gone. I trusted the doctors because the treatment made sense to me. They removed what the cancer was feeding on (hormones) and killed fast growing cells so it doesn’t spread and my body renews. I didn’t take any medication that I didn’t have to take. Too many stories of people trying to take a pill for every side effect and then create more side effects so they take another pill. Deal with the side effects yourself, there’s a lot of information on the net to help you with your treatment. I was part of a Facebook group and I don’t know what I would’ve done without them, there’s many things that you have to deal with that doctors can’t help you with. I functioned ok during the chemo, just wobbly and weak. I still did the usual things, some people even work during chemo. It’s not as bad as it used to be.

It can be very stressful but the result is worth it. If it was easy everyone would do it. Keep working and focusing on it to find better ways of doing it. We have backup plans to help with the stress. The thing that helps us the most is keeping enough money to live on for a year without any income. Also knowing that we can always get a job when things get tough helps. It makes it much calmer and easier to focus on growing the business rather than worrying about survival.

I’ve finally done some gardening that I wanted to do. I keep looking out of the window and enjoying the much improved look. I propagated all the new plants couple of weeks ago so it didn’t even cost much.

Anything that helps is good. Every little progress counts so if you’re getting better, it’s the thing you should be doing. Awareness is a great start, it’s much easier to fix something when you exactly know what the problem is. Professionals try their best to help but they’re not very good yet. They still need to get much better as mental health problems are on the rise. It’s quite interesting and frustrating that we all have a brain and use it every day while most of us don’t know how to use it properly. There’s a lot of research on how to cure mental problems but not on how to keep our mind healthy. That’s why I like Maslow’s research as he was one of the few psychologists that actually observed healthy people.

Maybe try it first, see whether it’s really what you want. Or at least visualise it, can you see yourself enjoying the life that your choice could lead to? Also, the fear is quite natural, it’s always scary to do something that we haven’t done before. Learn first, have back up plans, do small steps and see how it goes.

I’m not into marketing and it’s probably good for you to contact someone who can give a professional advice. Maybe try to do something different, analyse the customers, what do they really want, what's the current trend, is there a need for something that nobody does yet.

Maybe combine all the skills, they are all related to each other and can be used together. Film making, writing and music can be used to create one master piece. What about writing a song and make a video featuring it and where you perform on stage. Just an idea

I know that your aim is to find all the right answers and think that if you twist it enough so no one can understand and therefore can’t dispute, you win. We can all make up things in our heads as to what “reality” is but as long that there’s no proof, it’s all just opinions. You can’t tell anyone what is correct or incorrect without an undisputable proof. If you want your life to be empty, that’s all up to you! But I wouldn’t recommend it, it’s a waste.

If this life is a dream why not to make it a happy dream rather than a nightmare. You have all the knowledge and skills to create happiness for yourself and others so why to choose suffering! It’s the same effort to be happy as to suffer but happiness has much bigger rewards. It’s all up to you! Giving up might not solve anything at all, you might even create more suffering for yourself and others. Here’s my take on happiness. It’s old and unpolished but it might help. http://justthinkingaloud7.blogspot.com/

I’ve noticed that are some other cancer survivors here and also threads about fear of having cancer. I went through cancer treatment 3 years ago and had fantastic results (I was told it was quite rare with Stage 2 cancer). How did you deal with it and what do you recommend?

I prove myself wrong. How do I know that every girl in the whole world will lose interest/not like me? Have I met them all to be sure about that?

Everyone and every field is different. Work as much as you can while your mind and your body is taken good care of otherwise you won’t get there. Also, thinking about things that relate to your goal is counted as “work” and that’s not that exhausting, you can do it wherever and whenever.

What I found is that our mind has a limit. If you get distracted, focus or think a lot, you forget other things. What do you think about? Do you move on or is it repetitive? I always like to sort my thoughts out every day. Some ways how not to forget things is to focus on it, do it right away, write it down, set a reminder. Don’t try to remember too many things, only the important ones.

Thank you, much appreciated My partner talked me into this one, it's very good, he loves it

Yes, I will suffer. I’ve tried to help you and I failed. Because of that my partner will suffer because I won’t be the usual happy myself. Because of that his customers will suffer because he’ll be distracted and won’t do a quality job. Because of that the customers' partners will suffers because the customers got upset. It’s a ripple effect, our emotions are contagious. Even if this life is a dream, you are still part of it and you’re dealing with the dream. You can see that there are great things that you can get. Ok, we need to do something to get what we want but the more you learn how to do it, the easier it gets. I was 35 when I finally started feeling that I know what’s going on. You’re an adventurous person as I read somewhere that you like camping. Maybe get a motorbike and learn how to ride, you’ll save money as well, it’s better for the planet and you’ll get some excitement. Anyway, that's what I did and it worked for me. I’d also recommend to change your job, it doesn’t seem to be the one for you at all.