billytblack

I found this video of Brad Blanton and thought it was really funny at first glance, but very interesting on a deeper level as well. His book about radical honesty is also worth checking it out as it will definitely make your ego scream. The truth hurts, and it's also liberating. But, what do you guys think about that Chant? Are you willing to try?

I've been experimenting with micro-dosing for a good 4-5 months now. I started with THC and CBD since it is legal in Canada, then soon added Psilocybin because.. well it's unclear how legal or illegal it is. I read on the gov website that it's legal to grow the mushroom, but as soon as you remove it from the ground then it's illegal to possess haha. I'll try to be brief and also to give some sort of comparison between the two in how they affect me. First lets start with the dosage. I will usually use a weed oral spray containing 25mg THC and 15mg CBD per spray. Here's how it goes: Dosage Delay Time 25mg 1h 30min 50mg 1h 50min 100mg 50min 1h30 200mg 50min 3-4hours 300mg 40min 4hours 400mg 40min 4hours+ The delay is how much time the drug takes to become active on an empty stomach. (Note that having a full stomach can delay the effect up to 5 hours. So take it slow on the spray/drops/edible if you don't feel the effects just yet). The time is the duration of the 'trip'. I usually sit down or lay down on my back when I take THC sprays. Now, I would not consider these doses a 'trip' where you hallucinate; not until you get to 250-300mg THC or more. After the 'tripping' part you'll still feel the effects slowly going down, feeling relaxed for the next 4-12 hours or so. Concerning the mushroom dosage: Dosage Delay Time 125mg 1h+ 40min 250mg 1h 1hour 500mg 45min 2hours 1g 30-40min 2-4hours 2g+ 15-30min 4-5hours+ I always eat mushrooms on a full stomach, otherwise I feel like vomiting. After the tripping part, I still see the effects slowly going down; feeling relaxed, happy, energetic for the next 4-24 hours or so. What you might experience with THC is different than Psilocybin mushroom. Of course, this is impossible to explain, but I would say this; Mushrooms (1gram+) are like an explosion of colours in all directions, and you dive really deep into this explosion. THC at 300mg is more like an horizontal explosion of gray/dark colours. Again, that may not make sense, but basically they are different. The reason why I like THC so much is that, first you can use is everyday. Unlike mushroom, your body doesn't develop a tolerance very quickly. Second, at a lower dosage, is seems to be the perfect tool to meditate and letting go of subconscious patterns. With a higher dosage, it gets difficult to remember and keep focus on anything. But, at this point, it is still a useful tool to dive deeper into the subconscious and see the hidden traumas/beliefs/desires that limits, in many ways, your possibilities for a rich meaningful life. The downside is if you eat before, you'll have to wait 4h to start feeling the effects haha. CBD on it's own is a good option as well. It'll relax you and you'll then be able to let go of attachments in an easier manner. In terms of psilocybin microdosing, I prefer going with 500gram, as it gives stronger insights than 125-250mg.. without a 4hour duration. The experience is a bit different as it seems to go directly to the source. You gain clarity, feel your own presence and also quickly notice how much full of shit your excuses/thoughts are. You realize that what you've been looking for all this time is your Self. In a sense, it's like a truth serum.. unless you resist the experience. So to resume all of this microdosing, I use THC+CBD to meditate and let go/surrender to what is. I take mushrooms to gain clarity and deeper insights. Lastly, if you don't have access to mushroom, I would say in my experience when you get to 300-400mg of THC, you can have a similar trip to ingesting 1-1.5gram of shrooms. Not the same experience, but very close in intensity. A note of warning; If you know yourself to have a tendency to be addicted to other drugs (coffee, alcohol, etc), then using weed might not be a good idea for you. I don't always microdose 5x/week either. I may do it 4x this week and go without it for 10 days and then 2x/week for 4 weeks straight, etc. I trust my gut to know when the time is right ;). What is important is to keep a daily practice of meditation/surrender. Let me know what you guys think, you've probably had different experiences as well. Enjoy your day!!

TRIP REPORT: WHAT: LSD 1.5 quarter-inch Tabs Had 2 beers before and stayed sitting down on a couch for most of it. Alright, I had not planned this one beforehand, compared to my previous trips. I was at a friend's party and the host proposed LSD to us. Since I had had a couple psilocybin experiences under my belt, I thought why not try a tiny dose and see what it does. I am aware that a situation like this (with people/strangers) is really not ideal and frankly bad to be in if you've never tried anything like this before. But I felt comfortable. So the host gave me and my friends a quarter-inch tab. I have no idea how much that is... but as the host was probably already tripping hard, he gave me a second smaller dose without noticing the error.. and because I was starting to feel tipsy, I accepted. Now I want to make sure to mention; this is not how to do it right!! A couple things happened during the.. oh my god 8 LONG HOURS trip. But I'll only talk about one thing. At some point, I became the witness of what I would call: the collapse of the illusion of time. It became clear, so damn clear, that time is an illusion. There never was a past and never will be a future. Therefore, the only place to be is Here and Now. There are no other possible possibilities haha. Then came the realization that if I can only be Here and Now; there are also no possibilities for death. Yes physical death perhaps, but I (the capital I) can't die. Death is not even a thing, just another illusion; where else would I go haha. If this body goes, I'll be right back Here (as presence not the body). There is only Here.. and that is good news! Then I got distracted by some friend. I also experienced my self as being the music, being the room, being the space in which everything happens. Anyway, that is it for this one. It happened 6 months ago, but though I'd post it anyway. I'll probably post other experiences with microdosing mushroom and THC while meditation and releasing(see Lester Levenson+David Hawkins). I just also enrolled in Leo's course on life purpose, so I may write about it as well Thanks and have a wonderful day!

I was in the same position 2 years ago. This sucks and it is the worst. I was sure I was having a Kundalini awakening. I was spending my days sleeping or going to the hospital as it was the only place where I somewhat felt safe to not do anything crazy. I loved life, but I was completely lost in my mind. I can say it now, but back then I had no idea. I thought I had brain cancer, then that I was becoming enlightened, etc. I also hated when people were positive.. saying to see a therapist, "fuck that shit". This feeling was following me everywhere I go.. and even in my sleep, the only place where I was 'fine'. I finally turned myself in for suicide at the hospital.. Anyway, here's what happened after and hopefully that may open up a new possibility -I learned about a process called 'releasing'. It was created by Lester Levenson, then taught by The Sedona Method. I personally learned it from the guys at 'Fearlessman'. -I suffered, suffered, went into long periods of complete madness. I would have to reach so deep just to find a tiny bit of hope. I read Eckhart tolle books, listen to mooji, kept releasing, and started feeling 0.01% better each day. And thats the shit about suffering; it has to happen so you wake up from the illusion. All your suffering, even if it seems real, is just a bunch of 'stories/pattern' in your subconscious. YOU CAN CHANGE THAT!!! Trust me, you are NOT those feelings/thoughts -That's when I went back to the root of Labelling meditation to over and over and over and over detach myself from the 'pain'. -Then 'releasing' started to work even more, improving 1% each day. The only thing I can tell you is, dont give up, keep trying stuff until something works (even if just a tiny bit), then keep searching, keep looking. If you can, surround yourself with friends. Get coaching, find people who will help you; they are out there!

Yeah I think worries of the future are the worst. I guess I need to move a bit and do other things. I'm fine now, but this morning was hell for me.. even though I know thoughts come and go, when I'm trapped I feel hopeless. Good news though, 2 min ago the Buddhist school sent me a phone number of a Buddhist therapist that I can call. thanks for all the support, this really helped me calm down a bit

The here and now scares me too. Will I have sex still, will I have a job, will I still want to workout, will I be able to be a dad.. Is the body real then? Is there anyone could tell me how going beyond thoughts changed their life ?

I don't know where to start. I've been watching Leo's video for 4-5 years now and as you all know during the past 2 years or so he went deeper and deeper into the "truth". During the last two weeks, I've been living a nightmare. I went to the emergency 3x because I had thoughts of "I'm going to die".. as if the personality was going to die. I'm shaking in fear, I can't eat, I can't sleep. I've been meditating for 2 years now, but it seems I've watched too many videos where people saying "it's an illusion, nothing is real, you are god, death is an illusion, etc". I'm pretty sure my mind is now creating a fake enlightenment. I feel like nothing is real, I'm not real, why not dying now. Even though, I'm still afraid of many things, I still have desires. I never wanted to know the truth, I just wanted to be happy. I tried contacting a Buddhist school close to where I am, but they told me to see a psychiatrist. But what am I going to say to the guy.. "hey by the way you are not real". I'm slowly running out of options I feel. Anyone could help me?

@Nickyy Yeah I think you are right. I recall just being there, thoughts barely noticeable and detached from the body. Probably the mind freaked out and got into this 'nothingness loop of thinking'. Anyway, I need to be careful with this if I don't wanna loose control and do stupid things while going through with the process liberation.

Thanks. I wasn't clear of the context it's true. I had not consumed any drugs that day, and that's probably why I freaked out. Usually on psychedelics I can always write a note to remind me that it will be ok, it's just a drug trip. Basically I was being in the moment as much as I could and then I suddenly had an urge to watch a certain part of Eckhart Tolle's speech, which is weird because I hadn't been into his lectures for months. And everything just clicked when he started talking. I just got into this weird state for hours. But I guess you're right; I must stay vigilant of ego's tactics and get more experienced with this process.

Two days ago, I had the most profound experience so far in my spiritual quest. Briefly put, for a whole 7-8hours it seemed as if I got it all. It was so unpleasant to know. There is no me, I don't exist, this voice is not real, this body is not me, the air and everything else is the same as nothing. I am nothing. For hours I was alone in my bed, shaking with fear. My body would go from shivering cold and then suddenly everything would get super warm and full of terror. I can still hear my heart pounding in my chest, my spine being feeling weird and stuck. I was trying so hard to get lost in my mind again, to get back to the illusion as this was unbearable. I was trying to surrender, to let it go. I'm not sure what happened still. I never had a bad trip on psychedelic so I don't know how to compare my experience. It just felt like I was dying.. and not like physically dying.. even worst. I'm fine now, but damn that was so scary.. even so that the only option seemed almost to actually die; to put an end to the suffering. I didn't quite believe Leo when I watched one of his latest videos on 'The dangers of spiritial work'. Or rather I did not think it could be that bad. But now it makes me rethink the whole thing. All I ever wanted was to find peace of mind, to be happy. Maybe going towards knowing the TRUTH is not what I really want.. or I'm maybe just not ready yet. Anyway, Be careful people

thank you guys !

This has changed my life on so many levels.

TRIP REPORT: WHAT: 4g Psilocybin Ate breakfast before Stayed sleeping down on my back with my eye closed most of the trip Oh boy, how that trip was different from the other two before. I had lots of questions in mind and.. all of them were answered dead on. The trip really felt like a 'tour in a human life' thing. I'll try to be brief about my experience. My learnings will be at the end. 12:00pm It started off like usual, then got troubled by negative thoughts. But the answer was simple: Negative thoughts are just a label. Thoughts will always pop up. They are like flies flying around. Just don't bother. My eyes were still open at that point and I remember looking at my hand: I had 7 fingers wtf! It made me laugh so hard. Then I closed my eyes for the rest of the trip. I was just laughing A LOT. 1:00pm At some point I started to giggle so much, to have a blast, feeling my soft skin, the love, thinking that I am so pretty and life is beautiful, so much so that I really started to believe I was a woman. Again, hard to explain, but I was really starting to freak out: ' Am I a woman?'. Then what happen after that is crazy. I saw and felt the raw, aggressive, unmovable, calculated, powerful masculine energy come up from the bottom of my legs; like a beast or a dragon and all my groin area became red with furiousness. That stopped the giggle instantly and the feminine part of me got so drawn to the masculine, like a magnet; impossible to say no to it, even if it looked dangerous. The feminine literally got swept off her feet by the masculine, and the masculine's fury got calmed down the feminine energy. For the first time in my life, I felt like a man. Period. I now understand how my dad is a fucking beast. 2:25pm At some other point, I was laying in a big church, with huge glass windows (I'm not religious btw). There were chants, and it smelled like incense/candles. I was there, about to die, on a rock bed in the center of the cathedral.. it took a while haha, but before letting go my last words were: Just be. And then I let go, back to god. This next moment was really something. I could see/feel emptiness, supreme power behind me, behind my heart/head. This one I can't explain it, but wow. After this 'emptiness moment', I slowly came back to my senses and spent some time in my mom's belly, I could hear everything as if I was inside. I was crawled into my bed at this point, with my hands on my heart. I could hear my parents talk through the belly I was in. 4:30pm End of the trip LEARNINGS: -Sharpen that focus, intent, aggressiveness. Set my own boundaries, be clear, be organized, be in control. BE A MAN. -Stop lying about little things all the time. -Use frustration and anger for the best, not the worst. -The lower part of the body is where masculine energy resides, the top part is the emotional, creative feminine. -Just be, so simple. We make our lives so difficult. -Let go immediately of any attachment. Like in improv, the longer you stay attached to an idea, the worse it becomes for the scene. It's ok to have thoughts, but don’t get attached to them, move on. -Call dad to say thank you for everything he did. -I need to give love, that’s a big missing part in my life. -Remove noise in life (clean apt, distractions, tv, etc). -Labels; STOP labeling. -Perfection is a concept, concepts are made out of words. -Let the body learn, no need for the mind to always control. -There will never be an ultimate answer, not even with 100 lifetimes could someone understand 'it'. I agree with Leo that psychedelics, when used properly, are an extremely valuable tool to learn things that could take you months or years otherwise. NEXT STEP: 10mg 5meo ?

thanks ! I'll try to keep it down on my eating before.. see if it helps. I'll wait a bit before the next trip, I wanna make some changes first, then... yeah I have a feeling it will hit pretty hard

TRIP REPORT: WHAT: 2.5g Psilocybin Ate lunch before (woke up at noon) 1:25pm I took the mushroom and waited about 20 minutes before it actually started to take action. Already I knew that the trip would be a bit more powerful because I was feeling very disoriented quickly. 2:00pm-2:40pm My feet felt like they were a bit wet so I took off my socks and decided to lay down, my feet next to the heater. Sometimes I would get too close to the heat source and it would hurt.. but it felt different. Suddenly it hit me; pain is just an information. The body is just wood and flesh. This body could burn/disappear, but I would still be here. Then I noticed I was trying to control the situation and the feeling; so I decided to lay down on my bed and let go. My mind started to express social fears about men, women, love, death, etc. Everybody is afraid, everybody wants to be loved.. it's scary when you think about it. 2:40pm-3:30pm I closed my eyes.. and I don't know what happened, but I have never felt so much love in this body. I could see love, feel it in every inch of this body.. I could see that there's nothing to fear about physical death, because there is so much love at the source of every being. I don't remember having any thoughts or anything; the experience was so powerful. 3:30pm-5:00pm I was feeling a bit weird and I slowly got back to a 'normal' state. I like shrooms, but the first and last 45min of a trip are a bit unpleasant; I feel dizzy and like I wanna puke of something. LEARNINGS I had a lot of breakthroughs, but here are my most important: -Everybody is scared, we are all on the same boat. It's time to be honest about it. -I need to be real/honest and to start talking/acting like a grown man. -Be here with everything, just watch. -There's so much love here and now. -Don't see thoughts as enemies; welcome them to the party. Relax as you let it be. -Don't worry about death, just close your eyes and let go. NEXT STEP: 4g Psilocybin